₦airaland Forum

La Parisienne: This is very funny, got me laughing out loud.



@OP
If a woman marries a man that she knows will definitely cheat on her, that's her cross to bear not mine.
Men don't change after marriage, what you see is what you'll get. It's hillarious when some women marry bad boys, hoping they'll change later .

Mrs.Chima:
Damn! Keep it coming!

Many people are part time Christians.

busybee24: It must be a slow day for me... so essentially you are saying emotion would be to leave a cheating husband as opposed to common sense.

busybee24: Ill rather be a single mum than an idiot whose dying of an STD or have an unfaithful husband.. guess choosing life and good health makes me a fool... God save us from ignorance

busybee24: Honestly i think that behavior calls for divorce. I dont care what stupid traditions are in place. sleep with another woman= UNACCEPTABLE and then bring back something = HEAVEN FORBID. thats the day i kick you
out

SAFO: You clearly misread my post. The part you bolded was referring to a man that doesn't work at all and allows his wife to be the sole provider.

That's unfathomable.

SAFO: You clearly misread my post. The part you bolded was referring to a man that doesn't work at all and allows his wife to be the sole provider.

That's unfathomable.

SAFO: Not gonna happen but if it did, I'm still the head of the household so the final decision rests with me. Now if you have a man freeloading off his woman and not working at all, he should have no say. Matter of fact, he should be castrated and stoned for being a lazy s.o.b

I don't know any man that can idly stand by and let his woman be the bread winner of the family. It's a disgrace.

chucky234: That's what women theme "assertive",when a woman refused to bend for the husband because she want to stand her ground on stamp on authority forgetting that God from the beginning of creation made man the head and his supporter,
The bible says if a man cover his head before God he has disgraced God but if a woman exposes her hair before God then she disgraces the husband
The above bible passage tells you that an assertive woman needs to look inward and change her sense of reasoning.
Christ loves us so much to die for us despite our sins while then a woman cannot give a man second chance simply because she claim to assertive in nature,its ridiculous.

jennykadry: Yea we both know women chip in but I am sure you understand that word "take care of family" always falls on the man's head even when sometimes the women are the bread winners. Yes they both should take care of the family, please tell me how can they take of the family when she is not in agreement with her husband? he wants a child, she isn't ready for one, how can they both take care of the family?

lurkee: M[b]aybe to you as a man but forcing a woman [/b]to have a child when she is not ready is the worst idea ever. She needs to enjoy the process and she might change her mind during the pregnancy or she might not. Is that what you would want your wife to go through? Even people who wanted a child end up with postnatal depression let alone someone who was cajoled into it. God forbid bad thing.

BTW if roles were reversed I would say the same thing. I still think it is wrong when a man said he is not ready for children and some women agree and after the marriage trap the man into it. Those situations rarely end up well.

Both of them need to be ready to have the children.

jennykadry: Her marriage is not at stake, he just needs to see things from a different point of view. She can make him see things if she knows the right button to press. [b]He is the man and should be fighting to finish school, get a good job and take care of his family whilst thinking of a mortgage instead of asking for a child when he works a few hours a week [/b]job.

lurkee: You have said well jenny. I think it is not fair he changed his mind on her on something that could change the course of her future career. The way he changed his mind is the way he should unchange it (with her help as the voice of reason).

I agree with you about the living cost in Australia. I am in UK and it is nothing compared to Australia. My BF went there for a year and his living expenses were even more than in London which is already a lot. I don't know if they have welfare in Aussie so maybe they can get child support but even then, at least 1 person needs a stable job abi.

IMO the tension from trying to change his mind and waiting will be far less than that from you combining a child with uni especially one you were not mentally and physcially ready for. It does not seem worth it to me. It is up to you as a woman to change his mind after all it is you who will carry and nurture the child.

Good luck

StateOfMind: God bless you for this post. People keep asking why she got married if she wasn't interested in making kids? Like seriously??The whole burden of the pregnancy, child bearing and nuturing will be on her. Its not as easy as it seems. We see women combining this with school,yes! but that doesn't make it any less stressful. In as much as I do not support placing your career over your marriage,I strongly believe the issue at hand can still be well managed. You have just 18 months to go. Like some posters have said, make him see the reasons you don't wanna get pregnant now,and work towards the last semester. He has to compromise too-it won't make him less of a man.

Lol @ the 'give him his kids replies'...are they not her kids too?? Abi which reasonable woman won't want to bear children in her matrimonial home.

lefulefu: 1:Be over generous:Any time the babe need money make sure u give her without complaining.If u spoil her with money she will be yours for ever.
2:Take her regularly to pepper soup joint:Yes oooo.if u regularly dey take a naija babe go pepper soup joint then she will really fall in love with you.You know say naija babes no dey take pepper soup dey joke
3:Regularly give her money for brazilian wig
4:Buy her a blackberry(BB) and subscribe it for her
5:Spoil her with expensive clothes and shoes
6:iF u fit afford am take her on regular foreign trips and if u not fit afford that then take her on a local trip to yankari game reserve or take her to the next outing when Dbanj is performing next in town.

lilcutie8916: this matter has brought a lot of thought to my mind there tends to be more death aong husbands than wives what do u think

fellis: Are you alright? In which of my posts did I allude to divorce?
I only mentioned how unfair this whole thing is to the wife and you come and type an insult about me being ITK. Better mind yourself.

The arrogance of you lot never ceases to amaze me.

TisaBone: ok guys, so i've got to study so i can't read through all these posts right now, but i will say this.


me talking about being an assertive, independent women is not bravado on my part. This is how I live my life. I[b] can't really see myself truly being submissive to a man. why should I? I have been on my own, taking care of myself, making ways out of no ways for a very long time.[/b] Either I was gonna sink or i was gonna swim, I HAD to stand on my own two feet. There was no room for me to submit, that was a luxury i could not afford. because if i had, i would not have survived. So why should i take the back seat? Don't you know that captains have first mates?

fellis: Her husband did not enter the marriage with an honest mind yet dimwit morons are coming to support him and fault the woman.
And who is marriage not easy for? Men who society gives license to do basically anything or women who are told to get pregnant while in school (if her husband demands it) regardless of how stressful it will be for her?

Achuamaokwa: Money is nt essential ingredient in any relationship

anishe: Tell him to use condom anytime he wants to bleep you. lol

Daresh: Tell him you are ready to try for a baby and go and put in ur birth control.

albridge: i believe love is crucial but you also need good conflict resolution skills cos no matter how much you love someone you, conflicts will arise and if you dont fix them they will cost you your relationship.

Occielicious.....O.C:
If ur wife told u on the wedding nite that she just started her period.....Will u still beep her?

samyng: wow hope most girls would take note of this abeg.. Most women are the cause of failed marriage but if they just follow this then 80% of failed marriage would never had happened.. They need know that we don't want to marry and keep fighting for strength at home

TisaBone: so a man has to be a b//tch in order for his woman to be assertive? what are you talking about? I did not say domineering, but I believe women should stand up for themselves and not accept less than what they know they deserve from a man. and I do know what unconditional love is, and I'm aware that we are only human and that people mess up, but that does not mean you allow a man/woman to continue making the same mistakes over and over again, with you being the recipient of this maltreatment. And yes, relationships with assertive women and a man confident enough to accept his woman the way she is do last. you know why? because there is mutual respect. no one is over the other. there is the understanding that there is a give and take. both parties must submit at one time or another.

Onegai: Here's what you guys are missing: worship the way I meant was total submission. Not the submission most women practise, which is to submit till the ring is on her finger. Most assertive ladies will not tell you they're assertive, they'll simply show it. And still, they submit. Jezebel joined her husband equally in everything he did, she wasn't content to sit on the sidelines. No one has a right to cheat on anyone, but if it happens, do you vex, do you walk out or do you fix things? That's what separates kids from adults, the ability not to run away when the going gets tough: about my mum and dad. Declare over and over again: "I demand my respect, my husband WILL NOT TRY me and I'll accept it". Great. Let me know when you get married if that's the reality.
I'm the youngest of people in their 40s, and I've seen marriage up close. When life is about starting afresh with kids, and the loneliness and struggles of being a single parent, submission gets DARN easy. The only thing to do is choose well who you marry.
One of my sisters is assertive, everyone loves and respects her, she's married and has her problems. The other is assertive-aggressive and 37, and single and people avoid her. The best marriage in my family goes to the calm, nice sister, who's husband is even younger than her. Make what you will of that.
There's nothing wrong with assertive, but when people react badly to your assertiveness, it's because you're being aggressive or having attitude.

chucky234: That's where women get it all wrong,the words "assertive and unconditional" are two words that don't seem to compliment each other because a woman who love her man unconditionally will always give him a second chance,assertiveness to be should go with infatuation and not unconditional love.
I once dated a pretty girl who I cared so much about and wanted to marry,she was very assertive and loving as well. We got into trouble when she met me with another girl (I was just discussing with her) and she grew furious,picked her bag and went home.
I was running after her begging for 6 whole months but she bluffed me that nothing will make her change her mind,on the 8th month she began to call me by then I already made up my mind to move on.
On the 9th she decided to come but it was late because another already got pregnant for me and she was devasted and still regret it today,I later married the woman who turned out to be the most wonderful woman on earth and we are happy together. The one you guys called assertive is still single and 33 years old now,I was bent on marrying but because she didn't want to give me a second chance made her life miserable.
I still call her time to time to offer her advices and guidance.