₦airaland Forum

I'll take out my phone to call either Yuri or Richard. To the best of my knowledge these guys can be called born gladiators, undertakers, terror and many more. They'll move the cash, pay into their account and send my share via transfer(totally a different money).

6. Some girls should stop rushing into asking a guy that silly question with curiosity that labels her a gold digger/ runs girl 'what do you do for a living'? For me, I'll say: I spend money for a living. Let the conversation flow because if the question should be revised, they rarely say something so impressive. I HATE the recharge card crew, the hungry girls and the transport fare addicts. In the voice of (Steve Harvey): Men love women with class, get some. Where is it written down that the place of meeting must be an EATERY? Is it recorded anyway that the so called 'big babe' should not PAY for whatever it is she feeds on? SE.X on the 1st date spells out maturity by both parties.

WIZKID should stop editing his lyrics and beats to produce numerous tracks. A case of 'show you the money' and 'in my bed'. DAVIDO should quit exclaiming 'O.B.O'. BURNA BOY should stop claiming that he was born in 1990 instead of 1980. VJ ADAMS should shave clean. D'BANJ should go back to DON JAZZY in his own best interest. Finally, BANKY W should marry LINDA IKEJI.

Young girls should stop roaming themselves into danger. Stay @ home and help maama out, they won't see the need to. That guy has no explanation or whatsoever reason not to do some real time in the pen.

I'll say both the innocent and the guilty that were locked in there deserve a shot @ freedom for it is not easy to be locked away from the good life: women, alcohol, gadgets, football, news, just name it. Go! Inmates Go!

God bless my Aunty Itoro for teaching me place value, place name and writing in words. Such a huge sum#. Is this business news? Trillion, Billion, Million... Give me water!

I choose to nip in on the use of CONDOMS: 95% of it users protect only unwanted pregnancy. Woe unto adults movies that have brought about the wild spread of tongue swallowing and mouth actions into our generation. What do you need a condom for after delivering such...? To be on the safe side, ask your Pharmacist for an anti-biotics and anti-viral drugs after every exposed/unsafe act within 72hours. Besides, the Condom is oil-based so as the taco. How can one know where the beef got its oil from? Ensure you check every used condoms for leakages by passing running water through it in an upward direction. Lex says so!

What is the yardstick used to define a successful marriage? Is it by the number of kids, togetherness, prosperity, long life, what really? The hand of God is just key to everything instead of what mortals have to say. Am not saying one should'nt heed to wise counsel but it should be noted that your parent won't live with you in your own home. So, between your happiness(the good unique chemistry with your lover) and your parent's opinion mostly 'mum', what should be sacrificed?

Mum/dad give me a meaningful reason for the rejection or is it just DISLIKE @ 1st sight?

Distinguish your female friends right from the word: 'go'. Know who's got brains to chat about the recent happenings in the society: news, celebrity, sports, movies, music, etc because the truth is that some girls don't have hobbies. Also, know who is in dying need for trash talks( the nas.ty) per second per second. Your ability to do this will ensure that the most commonly used (the most popular) word on social networks 'boring' won't be used on you because your chats will always have a direction. It should be noted that in as much as pleasantries ought to be exchanged, it should'nt become a daily routine. How are you?, how was your day/night?, what did you eat? and many other related questions gradually become so senseless with time unless you are chatting with your wife who is away. According to the founding fathers of FB: Zukerberg and Saverin. It was designed solely for meeting HOT GIRLS( getting laid) so if are not living the dream, why increase your number of strange friends? Oh! Some will say they like making friend... What for? Are you a celeb? Are there not more than enough people around you that you've failed to interact with because of devoting so much time fiddling with your phone(church, school, office, social gatherings,etc)? If you say Advertisement, no doubt about that. Luscious-Lex, one of the few guys who've enjoyed social networks. Peace!! Distinguish your female friends right from the word: 'go'. Know who's got brains to chat about the recent happenings in the society: news, celebrity, sports, movies, music, etc because the truth is that some girls don't have hobbies. Also, know who is in dying need for trash talks( the nas.ty) per second per second. Your ability to do this will ensure that the most commonly used (the most popular) word on social networks 'boring' won't be used on you because your chats will always have a direction. It should be noted that in as much as pleasantries ought to be exchanged, it should'nt become a daily routine. How are you?, how was your day/night?, what did you eat? and many other related questions gradually become so senseless with time unless you are chatting with your wife who is away. According to the founding fathers of FB: Zukerberg and Saverin. It was designed solely for meeting HOT GIRLS( getting laid) so if are not living the dream, why increase your number of strange friends? Oh! Some will say they like making friend... What for? Are you a celeb? Are there not more than enough people around you that you've failed to interact with because of devoting so much time fiddling with your phone(church, school, office, social gatherings,etc)? If you say Advertisement, no doubt about that. Luscious-Lex, one of the few guys who've enjoyed social networks. Peace!!

MrCork:
...sweeery how can we hate on ilitatates that cabt spek English?...we don't undastand there crap music hear in London. American wannnabes....

..why the heck r they tryna spek American English when they cannot get thru wit queens English?

....wot u wrong wit u people bak home mennnnnn?

Dude, why don't you come back to Nigeria if you still can because people are making it big time back home? That you are in the bush part of U.K should'nt make you feel on top of the world, should it? P-square has been certified as one of Nigeria's finest and they don't need your endorsement. Take your corrections: illitatates- illiterates, cabt- can't, spek- speak, crap- crab, hear- here, wot- what's...Proudly Nigeria based in Uyo not Barnet, Preston, etc.

MrCork:
...p square that cant spek English? ...we don't rate those mofos hear in London..(no oofebse)

(in M.I's voice)... For the benefit of those that wanna say things: have you eaten today? Then, why are you hating?

My name is FELIX ESSIEN. I am a B.sc holder. An ex-player and coach of the glorious mechanical engineering football team that were undefeated champions of the University of Uyo. I've a 12yrs experience playing PES: match, master league, become a legend, etc. Also, a 4yrs experience playing football manager. I am so tactical and technically sound when it comes to formation, game plan, strategies, team selection, training, etc. It should be noted that I knew about a 3-5-2 formation as far back as 2005 before Louis Van Gaal made many people aware of it this season. I know how to switch play via tactical substitution instead of the conventional like for like change. I proposed that a right-footed rock solid defender(LB and CBs) be used to check-mate the marauding runs(right to left) of LIONEL MESSI. Coach Samson Siasia did this in the Beijing Olympics( Chibuzor Okonkwo vs Messi) unlike an Evra, Cole, Gibbs, etc who are no match to him. I'll say no more because I won't what to sound very boastful. Am appealing that the Super Eagles job be given to me immediately Keshi is sacked despite the fact that I've no coaching profile. I promise to always be properly dressed(suit and tie), I'll be writing down minute by minute observations for corrections in a hardcover higher education exercise book. I promise to return back our glory days through the parade of our best players( the people's choice) and ensuring that we always rise to the occasion. Thank you all for your support and recommendation. Mobile: 08120094271.

It is not only our 'economy' that needs diversification but SPORTS. No doubt football is the most followed game on earth but that does not mean that every nation were it is popular should equally be actively involved in it. BASKETBALL: the slam dungs, 3-pointers, the rebound, steals, free throws, NBA, and many others. RUGBY: the tries, the penalty-goal, the tackles, the fury, HSBC sevens, Curry cup, etc. CRICKET: the sixes, the runs, the batsmen, bowlers, wickets, ODI series, Test matches, etc. ATHELETICS: the sprints, the jumps, the throws, OLYMPICS, IAAF, etc. I consider the above mentioned sports equally interesting likewise so many other nationals: South Africa, India, USA, New Zealand, etc. To this end, Nigeria should stop wasting resources on football since we can't play the game. Rubbish!

khanivorous:
With your EMPTY lyrics...I wonder what he gonna write for her

# your bum bum bigger than bombay"
Or
# africa africa africa baby ooo"

Mediocre

I owe you. Am so satisfied. Wiz-kid is not talented enough to be on the spotlight. Christ! Same sound over and over again. E yeye yeye(nursery rhymes)

Take it or leave it most job interviews are SCAMS irrespective of the firm involved. That question is so uncalled for because it sounds more like an open cheque with tricky connotations. Are you the 1st employee to be recruited by the employer who has no idea about pay grade? Are you over qualified for the job? Are you the 1st to return from Jupiter with a certificate?

The secret of growing up to become what you were meant to be is STAYING OUT OF PRISON. Am a happy fellow despite the challenges I encounter in life. Do not quote me if you intend to use Mandela or the biblical Joseph as your example.

austinbrown:
insult ur father

Your mom wants to make me your Step-father. Is that hurtful and insulting enough for you?

austinbrown:
Why not Aba stadium

Aba can't even boast of fresh air not to talk of accessible roads. Why do you pay tax? Soon, dirty people who are not from Akwa Ibom will be driven out of our land of 'milk and honey' back into their various gutters.

Tenim47:
I hope it doesnt bring dem failure jst as last season OLD TRAFORD

Take your head out from your assssss!

thegoodjoehunt3:
I guess, with your knowledge of football, you are fit enough to coach Liverpool? Hence it is just tactics, strategy and workout.

It takes time and experience to reach coach Keshi's level.

First he was a successful footballer and worked with lots of different top coaches. He has been able to see cause and effect of different strategies and tactics over the years.

He grew as a coach. I remember Coach Keshi an under 17 coach learning his craft.

Also Aime Jacquet of France dropped Eric Cantona, David Ginola, Ibrahim Ba and put Keeper Bernard Lama on the bench.

Guardiola dropped Deco, Ronaldinho, Guily. This is not the first time a coach dropped players because of attitude.

Mancini dropped Given, Bellamy, Petrov, Adebayor and still won the Fa Cup and Premier League. Uche is not the first.

Clearly, you don't know what 'overhaul' means. Ginola and Cantona's exclusion... Do you even know when these guys retired? France failed to qualify for USA 94 or is it 1998, Euro 2000? Please, know your football because I used to be a big fan of ESPN Classic. You earlier mentioned Tevez(Calito) exclusion from Argentina's squad to Brazil. Believe it or not, @ some point in the final match when it seemed there was no one to score, they wished he was in the team. If we've a prolific Marksman in Uche, it would be ideal to make used of him while waiting for some one better to take over instead of embarking on an unnecessary experimentation.

thegoodjoehunt3:
If Coach Keshi goes round the World including China, looking for hidden talents that can play ball, you guys will criticise him.

Is it the Coach Pellegrini that thought Silva to carve a midfield like a knife through butter? Or, Mangala how to make like a beast.

Coach Keshi has been a gem when it comes to giving young talents opportunity. It was under him players like Oboabona and Omeruo became stars. Michael Babatunde was a shocking revelation at the World Cup. Oshaniwa performed well against Di Maria.

What do you guys want the Coach to do? Kneel down and beg Ike Uche for forgiveness?

Please players like Coach Keshi and Coach Amokachi achieved more in football than Ike Uche.

It might interest you to know that am I an Ex-player and coach of the glorious mechanical engineering department football team who were Champions of the University of Uyo. What do you think Keshi knows about football that I don't know better starting from training sessions, formations, team selection and game plan? Is it because he is on Tv, busy writing the names of his favorite drinks and calling on his players with hand gestures to come quench their thirst with chill water while it's still cold qualifies him to be a sound coach? Ike Uche for crying out loud is doing so well and it is the sole reason why millions of Nigerians are clamoring for his return to the team. This is'nt about 'quota'(getting an Easterner in) but about performance. I can't remember Uche to be such a head-strong player but we all know of Baloteli, Pepe and the so many others who are considered to be very vital to their team despite their personal attitude. Is this not the same Keshi the whole nation begged and fasted for before he reluctantly gave Osaze a seat on the plane to Brazil? Egypt conquered Africa for 3 consecutive Afcon tourneys but failed to make an appearance for the 4th tourney. So, if Nigeria fails to qualify for Morocco it won't be the 1st time or a surprise. If Siasia was sacked for failing to qualify blah blah _ommiting goalkeeper Vincent how much more keshi's failure_snubbing Uche?

Fellow Nigerians, keshi is not really such a good coach but the reason he is still around is simply because of the AFCON triumph which occurred with some elements of luck and some of us have vowed never to forget or given consider moving forward(over patriotism). On the other hand, our Super Eagles is in need of 'quality' players. If I say 'inefficient' talent is would seem as if there are few good players but it's a complete LACK. Why should we enjoy good football when we've a John Obi Mikel who buried his talent so many years ago as our playmaker? Do we have a set piece taker in our national team? Is it that our victorious U-17 team(Kelechi and co) can't become our national team? We want them to pass through the U-20s before they play for the Eagles just like the forgotten Late Yemi Tella boys(pitiful). We all saw the contributions of Osaze, Vincent during the world cup- fantastic ball play. Why can't we gather our boys playing good football around the world to the national team? Are there talents in the Nigerian League? No! Are there talents in our Streets? Yes! Long Live Okocha, Kanu, Finidi, Taribo and so many other Legends. (Sobs#). The Nigerian supporters club should be banned and whoever is funding it should seize to do so for the time being. Trumpets, drums and the songs were original made for HEROES not mediocres.

somcherry:
Wetin dis gal do una sef

You're my downfall, you're my muse, my worst distraction, my rhythm and blues....Forever 'heady tonic' being 1 in 10, 20 or more that have had canal knowledge of our queen. My 1st hookah turned celebrity. Touch down! How's your mama doing? The Silver back: Luscious-Lex rips Miss Nigeria.. How about that as a new thread? @ O.P. Good God! If Kim K did it, I equally deserve to be a celebrity.

[quote author=Kirinwa post=26959097][/quote]What is this one saying? Train up a child in a way that he should grow and when he is old, he'll not depart from it. Who failed who? Child or parent.

sexyseun:
Guys by default are dirty pigs. The day i entered jim iyke's room i almost fainted. Iyanya has good taste with colors in his bedroom but its so rough and tumble.

Never attempt to visit face at festac,he's crib is so untidy.

story for the gods! Are you a male celebrity hookah? It might interest you to know that there are so many well groomed men. They barb and shave like every 2days interval, they don't repeat underwear not to talk of their shirts. Their personal homes are so heavenly and always clean because that's where they live and visitors are welcome @ any time. Go and help your mum with the dishes and stop roaming the streets. Akpara!(Ibibio)

THE FOREIGN LECTURER: He has traveled the whole world. He has acquired more than '10 degrees'. He has worked for many firms and companies. His sole aim of joining the university is to impart knowledge and not the pay. He hardly make out time to barb or shave and his dressing is just so hmmm-mm. He is truly a 'Jack of all trade- master of all'. He teaches his students to a stand still; not only by his voluminous scheme of work but with his America ascent that will make serious students who have been aspiring to student aboard have a re-think. His students are fond of reading before and after his classes to help reduce the shame via intellectual exposure. A generous marker, can award 'A' to the entire class if they all deserve it.

THE FOREIGN LECTURER: He has traveled the whole world. He has acquired more '10 degrees'. He has worked for many firms and companies. His sole aim of joining the university is to impart knowledge and not the pay. He hardly make out time to barb or shave and his dressing is just so hmmm-mm. He is truly a 'Jack of all trade- master of all'. He teaches his students to a stand still; not only by his voluminous scheme of work but with his America ascent that will make serious students who have been aspiring to student aboard have a re-think. His students are fond of reading before and after his classes to help reduce the shame via intellectual exposure. A generous marker, can award 'A' to the entire class if they all deserve it.

THE PUBLISHERS(The Show Off): these are guys who deliberately and exhaustively answer all the required questions correctly simply because they over read(20x) and always want to be the best . Their booklet looks like the centre spread of a Newspaper. They rarely lift their heads up and when they do, it is either they are looking around the hall to spot the disappointing faces of some friends or pointing both fingers to the sky like a Ricardo Kaka to intimidate whoever was looking that way... Well, the funniest thing is that they lose most of their friends after such a commanding performance and in some cases encounter some 'pull' and 'drag' forces.

Jerry Springer's final thought: the medical personnels can be likened to 'men of God'. It's a service to humanity although its highly time consuming. The likes of Bukky George(Health plus pharmaceuticals) made it big time with her business vision unlike some other colleagues in the field.... Engineering can turn a tout into a Boss over night because of some alarming pay they get to receive over night especially in the oil and gas sector. However, most engineers in Nigeria are less innovative but they are very intelligent enough to solve problems, maintain and manage already existing systems. They just fit into the system(blend). They only get so infuriated when their mechanic, electrician, welder, plumber, bricklayer etc equally claim to be an 'engineer'... Am a mechanical engineering planning to invest in the medical field.

alotofgrace:
U WRONG THERE!!!
who's machines converted ur herbal drugs to tablets? who designed ur syringe?
get this...medicine is fixed, no creativity........in engineering, we combine the beauty of arts and the Heavenly tool called Mathematics to change things as challenges portray themselves

doctors do nothing, infact GOD HEALS, THE DOC TAKES THE FEE

remember...God was first an electrical/engineering....let there be light

..........engineering rules

I owe you a bottle of anything alcoholic

Nigeria seems to be the only English speaking country in the world that her citizens pay so much attention to grammatical errors... Correct this statement if you are good in English. Lol#