₦airaland Forum

onecorner abi onechance.. I no know wetin to call you.
u wan because of babe enter one chance?
me I can't help you but advice u, cut ur cloth according to ur size. if the babe wants a big guy let her find.

@ Op may God reward your selflessness because the babe isn't going to give you what you want.
get someone to be coming regularly to clear your Ballz and let her know.
also give her a timeline to find her feet. whether 6 weeks or 3 months. after that she is on her own. if you think u are going to have sex with her, you are on a long thing.

@op there are many issues here to be considered that you have not.
1. welfare of the child.
2. welfare of the parents.
3. access and custody of the child.
4. healthcare etc. emotional growth etc.
what will be the living arrangements? who covers what bill? who is responsible for what?
do you think the scenario will be healthy for the Child?
my advise is. get into a relationship, if it leads to Kids all well and good. if it doesn't all well and good.

[quote author=Ganjafama post=76538054]In other words you mean there is a 30% chance that she did commit adultery.
yes there is a likelihood that she did. but it's only the spouse that can vouch for her.

Ganjafama:
I ran into a good friend of mine 2 days ago, after exchange of pleasanries we sat down to relive old memories over some bottles of beer. He then confided in me that things are quite rough for him: no job, he and his wife are neck deep in debt and to top it all they were kicked out of the bed sitter apartment they were occupying after his wife had an altercation with the landlady. Having no place to stay, his wife and 2 kids went to live his mother in-law while he himself relocated to his family house in another town nearby.
He said he always pay regular visits to his family to give them any little cash he had plus satisfying his wife sexually.

She came over with the kids to visit him in his family house about a week ago . At night, he wanted to have sex with her and she refused. After much pressure from him, she then told him to his face that she had committed adultery and as such couldn't sleep with him: he said according to his tradition if a sleeps with an adulterous wife he or the kids may die. On hearing this, he drove her away. Few days later she apologized claiming that she said those words out of frustration and that she had never slept with another man since they got married. Dude said he forgave her but does not trust her anymore. He said he does not believe her.
I couldn't offer any advice other than for him to give her the benefit of the doubt.

Now, fellow nairalanders what do you think?
Do you think a sane woman can say such to her husband if she has not done it?

she is frustrated. and tired. she needs attention and love. she was lashing out
did she commit the adultery?
70% no. reason is. what is her gain in confessing? because of a tradition that he will die?

youngdad:
Go to his room this morning and caution him seriously,tell him you saw what he did in the night,that if he tries it again,,he will recieve your reaction in a way he will never forget in his llife.If any body ask you what s the matter,you should tell them to ask him what he did last night.Then wait for his reactions.If he talks nonsense,you can then expose him.Please always lock your door,the days are evil,this guy can rape and kill you,dont protect him.

best advice.
did you do it?

@Op. pls what was the budget for this, so that one can start planning

nice list

I don't know where in ijebu you are.
but you can always dig a local well on the land and then figure out how you will extract water

ImaIma1:
He said he got to know everything after they got married.

as he don know what's he still doing there?

seems you have a bit of low self esteem to accept to be the second choice.
do you need a disrespectful wife who will forever compare your financial and sexual ability? well it's for you to decide.

jayyem:
it's not as if they didn't agree on some of this things before marriage, but you know what some ladies can do before you deal the deal, he asked her time without numbers what she feels she can easily do just to while away time while still job hunting, she will mention one and resources will be gathered for her to learn but amidst learning, excuses will arise till she decide not to go anymore.

then your friend has to hustle more and set up a low stress business for her like a provision store or something.

patience is what we use to be a husband.
so also is tolerance.

he cannot say he didn't see the signs before marriage, maybe he chose to ignore them. now that he is there he just has to double his hustle, and when the kids come maybe triple it. he should look for low stress initiatives for her to do to keep her busy and make small change.
and as for the capital for his business, a plain No will do. if she likes make she cry from now till 2023. it's their future he is fighting for.

@ Op you get mind Sha.
you want the drunkard to finally kill himself?
if you feel guilty why not get a flat for your brother and take it upon yourself to train ALL the Kids equally

without assuming what was not expressly stated.
you are an adult with a job. so you MUST stand on your feet and make your own decisions.
so far they didn't use padlock to lock the door, just step out. you can forget your things.
as for the marriage rites.. you are an adult, parental consent is not mandatory.
as to her lifestyle, she has been with him for over 8 years since she was 21 so I believe she had the right to choose whoever she wanted to be with.
I remember once I had an oversabi uncle who came to my house to shout at me, I asked him 2 questions if he was paying my rent or feeding me? if not he should pack his leg and leave my house immediately or I will call the police. when he hit me, I reported at the station. I have since been branded a bad Child but do I care? no, the message had been passed.

malabu

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na so scam dey start..

you just need to grow a pair of balls.. my house.. since he didn't pay the first time, u have tried for him. tell him his things are in the corridor(change ur locks). don't allow him inside. until he pays complete. if not he packs his things. shikena

its not a myth, more like an adage... its means that you will spend money that you wont have change for frivolities.

seems you have some self esteem issues caused by what you experienced growing up.
you do not need anybody to vaildate or confirm who you are. you just need to be more confident and grow a tough skin.
if you do not like your surroundings(Ps if you have a good job etc) move out or seek a transfer and develop yourself.
one cannot continue to stay in the shadow of ones past.
finally get professional help. make research on emotional intelligence too. it will help.

a lot of issues can be avoided especially when one looks at the bigger picture involved.
she washes your mum's cloths get mummy a washing machine and get one for her mum too.
you live close to your mum, get a house a little bit far, after marriage you can always come back. marriage isn't easy especially when ones inlaw are close by. that is the fear most ladies have.
also u said u hit her, pls don't do so next time.

what's your own? she decided, as person lay bed, na so he go lie on top. as for the mama and the papa, wahala no dey. na for the papa to dey careful.
wish her the best becuase if it fails the regrets from both the mama and her will be much

seek legal advise. 1. give him a week notice to quit. 2. after that another week notice of intention to recover the house. 3. sue him at the nearest court. 4. ensure u monitor his movements so he won't pack out one midnight.

RIP

tony Anenih RIP

pls if u don't know u don't know. stop talking as if you know it all whereas u don't. Fulani's are all over. they attack farms especially when the owners are not around. I cannot count how many of my friends farms that have been attacked. most had to resort to piggery or fish farming instead of crops they intended to do.

I believe CBN created a platform for complaints about such transactions

kunleweb:
No you don't. I insist, no one needs 3-5 years.

Jethro didn't say u need 3-5 years, she said let the farm owners show you their 3 - 5 years record before you embark on a farm project.

kunleweb:
minimum of 3-5 years Indeed. Stop inciting people to be needlessly skeptical, wary and suspicious of people they may meet in future. No one needs 3-5 years to become successful in farming, farming like any other business requires a holistic blue print and action plan to make things happen shikena. Its not rocket science. Stop it, it's annoying

it is annoying when people make comments without facing reality. how many farms of less than 1 year are successful. you want someone to spend 2 m on trial and error? let him get his experience, let him visit successful farms and make his choice. a proverb says a man can have as many cloths has his father but not as many rags. the successful farms have the rags.