₦airaland Forum

only if we had professional detox, rehab centres in Nigeria. plus a dose of counseling.
it's well Bro, we all bear our crosses

Spiritscience:
By O’star Eze
Though adultery is one of the cardinal sins in the ten commandments of the Christian Bible, there seems to be a relaxed view of it in modern times. O’star Eze looks at what the people think about its status in the Nigerian law and whether it should be criminalised.

The recent adultery saga involving Ifeanyi Azotani whose wife, Tochukwu, accompanied by her sister, Ogochukwu Nwankwo stripped his mistress, Ogochukwu Okafor naked, and flogged her while videoing and later allegedly uploading the act on the internet, as well as the resultant outcome came as an eye opener to many who did not know that except in northern Nigeria, the act of sleeping with another man’s wife or another woman’s husband is no issue in the eyes of the Nigerian law.

In fact, the three principal actors involved in the crime were paraded like common criminals and were charged to court, while the alleged adulterer walked away with her head held high.

According to sections 387 and 388 of the Nigerian Penal Act, 1960, adultery is an offence only in the northern part of Nigeria. It is not an offence in the western, eastern and southern parts of Nigeria. Hence, adultery as a crime in states in Northern Nigeria, is punishable with 2 years imprisonment and or with an option of fine. In the other parts of Nigeria, no person can be charged to court for adultery.

Incidentally, while adultery is not a crime in the eyes of the law, the Nigeria law still says that when intolerable adultery has been proven, it can provide ground for the dissolution of a marriage, according to section 15 (2) (b) and section 26 of the Nigerian Matrimonial Causes Act; Anagbado v. Anagbado.

Arguments against criminalising adultery in Nigeria
The argument in support of keeping adultery out of the law court holds that adultery law in application tends to be gender sensitive, victimizing the female in the act while the male co-perpetrator goes scot free. Dr Jennifer Mike of the American University of Nigeria captured it thus;
“Adultery laws in Nigeria have deep Puritan roots of historical underpinnings in colonial English Common Law as well as Islamic jurisprudence.

“In medieval and early modern Europe, women were executed for adultery as a form of deterring them from the act. Some were Agnese Visconti (in 1391) and Catherine Howard, wife of Henry the VIII, (in 1542), both decapitated for allegedly engaging in adultery.
“The sharia penal code in Nigeria also prescribes death as punishment for adultery. An example is the section 126 v 127 of the Sharia Penal Code of Zamfara State”.
She gave example of the case of Safiya Hussaini, a nursing mother, and divorcee, who was charged with adultery and sentenced to death by stoning in 2002. The man involved with her, however, was not found with enough evidence to be convicted.

Another woman, Amina Lawal from Katsina was charged with conceiving outside wedlock and sentenced to death, but the father of the child was released for lack of evidence to convict him.
Dr Mike said in the African society women become victims of social discriminations while the men are allowed to keep concubines. She said that while she does not support adultery, she thinks that the parties involved should be allowed to settle their matter in divorce courts.

“The counterfeit pleasures of an illicit affair can never compensate for the severe emotional distress it causes to parties, children, and the society at large. However, criminalizing adulterous acts goes against the spirit of the constitutional provisions that guarantee individuals the right to life and will have a more devastating effect.

“Alternatively, morality should be better defined, as an argument for maintaining the laws and should be adequately enforced. If the legislation is meant to deter adultery because at the moment the law is redundant in its very purpose,” she submitted.

Supporting Dr Mike, Barrister Mbazulike Amechi, a Nigerian legal practitioner and politician reiterated that adultery is more of a moral cum religious thing and should be left out of the criminal law system. His argument was that Nigeria has not adopted a state religion and “therefore bringing in things that will encumber our laws with religious injunctions could be harmful.”

On the premise that adultery leads to other crimes like battery and murder, Barrister Amechi said that there are several other factors that cause the listed crimes and that adultery is the least of the factors and should therefore be left alone by the legal system.
“Adultery is not the biggest issue before us. Why sensationalise it. How many crimes or homicides are direct results of adultery compared to alcohol, smoking and other similar factors? Moral codes could be interpreted in various ways depending on cultures and experiences. Could there then be legal adultery where one at the invitation of the couple engages in adultery with one of the spouses as in Igboland where people seek a male issue or in case of cultures where a woman marries a woman to maintain a bloodline and the duty falls on a married member of the family. The issue is better left as it is. You cannot codify it else you may kill the whole country,” he said.

Towing the same line, Barrister Daniel Nwafor, said that it is not the business of the law to enforce morality. He argued that given that adultery is sexual intercourse with consent between two persons out of whom one is married, the law should focus on more offensive acts and not moralities.

In his words, “criminalizing immorality will bring concussion because we would not know which sense of morality to adopt; should it be christians’, muslims’, hindus’ or traditional religion adherents’.”
Barrister Nwafor however advised that spouses who suffer indirect emotional damages as a result of adulterous act of their partners can sue for harbouring and enticement and obtain monetary damages against the person that enticed their wives or husbands as provided by the Law of Tort.

Citing sections 37 and 38 of 1999 constitution of Nigeria, another lawyer on the basis of anonymity opined that criminalizing adultery may infringe on the rights of traditionalists whose religion permits them to keep more than one wife, adding that monogamy is a foreign concept in most African cultures and that some cultures even endorse what is considered adulterous practices.

Tita Nze, a veteran journalist, in the same vein, said that even though he is a Christian, he does not think that the legal system should recognize the commandment; thou shall not commit adultery, given that the act is usually consensual. He alleged that even the Igbo culture accepts multiple relationships as long as it is not under duress.

“Iko and agiri (both terms that refer to a socially recognized extramarital affair in ancient Igbo culture) was well accepted by the Igbo society,” he said.
He said that morally speaking some persons who indulge in adultery may be doing good to their individual families given that in some homes, the man may not be able to perform sexually again or be able to fend for their family and the woman would need to seek help from outside the home.

“Some husbands cannot perform again and their wives engage in adultery thereby secretly helping the family not to scatter. Some couples cannot bear children due to health challenges or other factors and they therefore engage in adultery in other to get children and thereby save face,” Nze said.

Argument for criminalising adultery

However, the Anambra State chapter chairman of Pentecostal Fellowship of Nigeria, Bishop Moses Ezedebego has a divergent view from the popular. He argued that given that the law recognizes homosexuality as a crime, it would be hypocritical not to do the same with adultery which offends the spouses of the persons who engage in the act.
Arguing further, Bishop Ezedebego said, “if tampering with another person’s property without the person’s consent is considered a crime by the law, it should recognize adultery, which has to do with tampering with another person’s spouse.”

Conclusion

It appears that the popular stance among Nigerians is that adultery should not be criminalized given that attempts to do so in the past and in northern Nigeria had only succeeded in victimizing only the womenfolk found guilty of committing the act. However the general consensus is that not criminalizing adultery does not justify the act as it still remains a moral crime condemned by the Christian and Muslim scriptures and has been a predominant factor that has led to the dissolution of marriages in Nigeria as well as several homicide cases reported on the media.

Source: https://orientdailynews.com.ng/crime/adultery-criminalised-nigeria/

both the maker of the law is guilty of the offence. same way someone wants to make bigamy an offence in Nigeria. some laws are a waste of paper and time. rather focus on giving stiff financial compensation to the aggrieved spouses.

kastrobaba:
Good day house, i need your contributions to solve some issues in my family.
My dad had two wives but unfortunately we were not treated equally. I was fortunate to attend unilag where my dad worked but I was not considered as a serious son of his. Thank God I am the only person to have education in the family. Since my dad overlooked me I didn't mind then I face my life alone. While he was alive we were told that he put my direct brother (first son ) name on his papers but by the time he got sick my step sister and the husband took over the finances. Since am I know Christ I didn't bother about the situation. Along the way my dad complain to me that the sister went to the school on several occasions to withdraw money from his account. What should I do since I didn't know the beginning.
Last month my dad passed away while they brought him from village with sickness to come and sign a document for them to collect money without our knowledge. Two weeks later after his death, the sister called my brother that the school just paid 720000naira to her account for my dad but she has spent 500000 naira on my dad before his death and she has to reduct the money and give the family 220000 naira.
Now the whole family disagree and she brought a written expenses not bills to present for her 500000 naira.
Since am the only one educated the family now look up to me to intervene bcs there are other money to be released from my dad pension.

I don't know how my senior brother name was changed initially to her name.

How can I go about the issue bcs we need money for my dad burial and she is holding the 720000 naira.

Your advice

unfortunately there isn't much to be done except to ask for a detailed account. what most people don't realize is that proper accounts must be done. if the expenses are not backed by bills and receipts you have a right to say you are not paying it. if it is backed by receipts then you must pay.
as for the pension etc, the family must appoint the Children that will be the Adminstrators of his Estate. these people will process the pension, gratuity etc on behalf of the family and divide it either per wife or per child as the case may be.
thank you.

if she can cater for the child, keep it. if not she can still keep it but expect limited or forced support from the baby daddy. meanwhile she should prepare herself for the naming or birth. I have a colleague who took an annual study leave and returned with a baby..

some times living apart as a couple can be good but when they start living together all the bad habits and intolerance will emerge.
also why bring in a 3rd party to a young marriage? a neice? both parties to a union must agree before someone can stay. moreover why does the husband listen more to the neice than the wife?
as for pastor, it is not everything u see that u say. some u pray about to avert the disaster that is looming. I wish Pastors can be sued for their actions.
anyways tell your friend to prepare for the divorce and there are steps he has to take. get a lawyer.

[quote author=kunleweb post=77343788]Once there's speculation it means communication is ineffective. Talk to her bro, not us[/quote
best advice

SaintJude12:
Yeah and that's the main reason why am still keeping up to my responsibilities, I want to use it against her at the court of law.

wrong move Sir. school fees yes.upkeep it's not by force.
paying of school fees and upkeep will not determine or stop your rights as a father, the worse the court will order is for you to back pay meaning if she paid 300k for school fees u will still be liable to pay same. so if u withhold for the reason of non access the court will go further to blame her. if there is evidence u were paying and u sudden stopped the court will ask why and u will say the truth,I am willing and able to pay, but I Cannot pay when I am Denied access to the boy. I Cannot assess his level of development. these issues can be determined before divorce.

get a lawyer. he will petition for visitation rights at the appropriate place meanwhile why pay when u don't have access?

get the cheapest house close to the school. a room will suffice. he should avoid student hostels as it may be a bit expensive.

lol. I believe the property is in lagos, so Lagos laws of division of assets will prevail. and the law allows female children to inherit

emmybiz:
I have land for this, but I don't think there's market for moringa. pleased, anyone with contact of steady buyers

that is my major fear. I am in Ogun state, is there market?

the guy should just divorce her first, then clear his baggage before entering into a new relationship. as for the woman who wants to leave her husband, let him not carry load that he is not sure of

family relationships can be dicey. u never can tell what happened between them. anyways it is when you are in trouble that you know your friends. since they didn't stay when mama was ill tell them u will do the little u can for Mama and if they offer money, tell them no. if they want to do anything let them do it, but they should not involve u guys.

there is a reason why he is called the EX. if the issues still persists, then why bother

who happiness epp? a man's duty is to support and love the wife no matter what.. ensure she is catered for. entertaining her is her own responsibility.
to me it is just emotional blackmail to be threatening me with, I am not happy.. kukuma use happiness to chop.

one he doesn't have to pay dowry to anybody.
two. the mother came to carry her child she should be ready to shoulder the responsibility of catering for the child. if they want him to take care of the child he must be given free and unhindered access to the child.
now if he really wants his child back, he must run to bayelsa state urgently and get the court there to award him custody using the Ministry of social welfare. it is an irresponsible mother that will abandon the child, there is no Two ways about that and no sane court will want to award her custody just because she is the mother

this is more of depression than lack of social skills. the guy just needs to sit up

pls tag me when you start the thread. pls how many sees will cover one hectare and the proposed yield

we got christainity from the white. historically, the European Kings and queens always married themselves, so it is easy to find first cousins marrying each other.
now in the Bible if I can remember a bit, Abraham sent his servant to his cousins house to find a wife for isaac

where I grew up, there was nothing wrong in giving things with the left hand. and till date I don't care what hand you use to give me things so far I collect am. of u wan give me money I go talk say na because na left hand I no go collect am?
I remember once, I went to the bank and gave a teller money with the left hand he refused to collect it, me too I refused to go. a superior officer came and looked at him and collected the money from me. I was like no use left hand loose job.

hmm. are you very sure it is your baby that died? maybe the baby mama saw your attitude in the last few months and she decided not to bother you.
now you have wronged 2 ladies.
1. your wife, she deserves your sincere apologies and trust and in good faith tell her the baby came and died. at least it will close one chapter in her mind. but get ready for war at home. PS. don't disclose the sex. just say u don't know.
2. the baby mama. na jejely she siddon, u put head. na jejely she tell u wetin she don suffer from man pikin hand, u just use ur prick come add on top am. so wetin u wan make she dey feel now? sha beg her gan. be close to her to heal the loss of the child but no use prick console am.

ogbongenet:
After broadcasting the seed I have to net and put iron mesh on it to prevent story that touch the heart.

thank you for this. I will set up same for my pepper nursery

ifyalways:
She will be fine.

Keep away a lil something each day in your childrens name somewhere as you dey jolificate dey slay up and down, life can happen at anytime.

Invest in your name alone sometimes, when you can, with your children as next of kin.

Even wills can be contested in court. Be smart, love with your head and live in the reality.

sometimes investing in the children's name as it's risks. let us not see bad pikin.
i believe in joint ownership of assets. in both our names. at least the benefits is for both of us. I will let you know.

first male love... so what number are you?

if you full of mistrust then why the hell are you still married to her?
as for the jogging, pastors pick up stuff stories, you know she is lying to you.
to confirm you can always ask her to take you to the compound she picked it up from. do so suddenly and collect the phone. you will get some answers.

i trust the mama wey born me. Sha no sleep for house ever again.... you will tell God or devil why u beat your mama

if u tell them or not, who does it affect? if they know or not who does it help?
I believe that you are overreacting if it's because your sister didn't tell you she is pregnant that's why you are reluctant to tell your mum and elder sister.
relax and take a chill pill. all the others you told them so what is different now? hmm.

you need to lawyer up. and when going to the station tell them she brought guys to beat u up

for that kind of person a very thoughtful gift will be appreciated. I will go with Ifyalways advice and get the gift

what's wrong in sleeping in my parents in love's house? absolutely nothing. in fact I will encourage more visits.

bro, relax and enjoy yourself... congrats oo PS. where is the wedding venue