₦airaland Forum

THIS UppaZakum's POST is what I am responding to, bit by bit.

[1]

UppaZakum:
Good day. I would like to get your perspectives on some issues I have been facing lately. I am about to make some key decisions that could either make or mar my future, which is why I'd like to crave your indulgence. This is going to a long write-up because it’s important I provide some background.

As promised, I will now share my perspective. Also, for the sake of others that will hope to learn, I will delve into much details.

Next year, I plan to take a career break (leave of absence) towards pursuing a PhD in the US with the hope of transitioning to a dollar-earning environment. This move is going to come with some huge sacrifice - I may have to give up my job in pursuit of this goal. In other words, no income is anticipated within the duration of the PhD (4 years). Moreover, I do not intend to return to Nigeria as I’d be applying for a green card to enable me work in the state. However, should I not be successful in the pursuit of this venture, I’d would fall back to my job in Nigeria. This is not an easy decision to make but a necessary move I have to make to further my knowledge, skills and ambition and to create a great future for my two kids.

Great! Glad to see you are devoted to improving yourself and you have crafted a solid plan to undertake such improvement. Nothing wrong here.

Now, here comes the big issue. Since I notified my wife of this plan, she has been extremely joyful. She’s been making lot of plans. Despite the fact that I still have some reservations, she thinks otherwise. Each time, I bring up the reservations with logical explanations; I can see the sadness on her face. That look like “ I hope you’re not changing your mind’. I really do not care though because women folks are emotional creatures without adequate capacity for logical reasoning. While it is okay to look at all the positives that can be unlocked because of this move, it is wise to consider what could go wrong as well in order to make a more informed decision. I can tell she has not been paying attention to the downsides I have been mentioning such as lifestyle changes, possibility of not getting a job even after the PhD, weird western ideologies my kids will have to face etc). She’s just so fixated on the supposedly “good life” over there.

Well, your wife has seen an unmissable opportunity to achieve financial independence for herself in a more successful, liberal society that gives women insane leverage in marriage... or more generally, the intersexual dynamic.

This opportunity deeply aligns with her personal interests, and as a woman, she will put her interests and feelings without regard to the sacrifices and costs incurred by her man. Afterall, in a woman's eyes, a man is simply a vehicle to her destination/objective in her survival script. You must have noticed this in the way she always remained unmindful of your logical reservations and possible downsides you will face if you strung her along. This is not a mistake; your wife knows what she is doing.

If she has calculated that the vehicle is no longer needed, it will be brutally discarded, resented and/or snubbed, regardless of the "damages" and sacrifices the vehicle endured (willingly or unwillingly) to get her to her destination/objective. You become in her eyes a deadweight that slows her down. This happens when you are no longer needed; when you have landed beneath her; or when you financially depend on her.

You must take note of the last two paragraphs: do not let the playfulness, respect, sex, show of kindness and present profession of love from your wife beguile you into disbelieving them. Never get lost in the sauce. If you dismiss the red pill here and you succumb to the situations I warned you against after taking your wife abroad, you will discover real quick that you never really knew your wife. Also, just to add, the fact that some ladies spent their whole lives in Nigeria doesn't mean they are not aware of how domestic, marital and child support laws work over there.

Whatever you do with your woman, ensure you always put yourself first and you are above her. Never raise her to your level or above it, and never be in a situation where you depend on her financially. If a woman wants to grow, let her hustle it on her own. If possible, don't take her abroad. Her behaviour (due to the Nigerian environment, leverage, and your masculine attitude here) won't necessarily be the same in the western environment. The Western world corrupts and embolden women with impunity. If things are working well for you here, leave her here and go pursue your dreams. As you get better, your family will benefit from it.


typing....

Edit: next part is HERE.

UppaZakum:
Thank you for reaching out. I'm keeping well. The advice I got from the RPs was very helpful and my ultimate decision was based on that.
Infact, she has stopped bugging me about it after making my final decision known. She tried to whip up emotional sentiments by saying she'd work to raise the money afterall that she paid for MSc tution fee herself without my assistance. My response was "good! source for the fund on your own go for it"
We were still dating during her Msc and I remember her asking me then to help with part of the tution and I rejected it based on my thinking that girl friend benefits were different from wife's benefits. I remember telling her that she was just a girl friend and not to expect me do that.

Anyway, that's it. I won't fund any nursing program with my hard earned pay. Please go ahead and share your perspectives. Thanks

Glad to see you are shrewd and making sound choices. I will give my full perspective later this evening or tomorrow morning... UNFAILINGLY. I have no choice but to attend to something today, hence the delayed response.

@UppaZakum

How are you doing? I remember you posting your marital dilemma sometime ago, and you were given answers, both from redpillers and one or two blue-pill clowns/agents. I couldn't advise you then because I had taken a long break from this thread, even though I still followed up current conversations and went through my previous posts.

As at now, are you steadfast in the red pill advices you got? Or do you imbibe the blue-pill advices you were given? If you chose the red pill advices, do you waver in your resolve? If yes, or for the sake of curiosity, should I profer my advice?

If you are good and not in need of my perspective, no problem. Your situation then might seem trivial to many, but it is one that can preserve or utterly devastate a man, depending on the man's decision. The red pill, yet again, proves itself invaluable.

heartofcity12:
This signs are always there from the beginning but simps always choose to ignore them, you’re not her top option, she settled for you when those she targeted didn’t commit to her.

"I will be glad and honoured if I got a rply."

Nyascobar1414:
If you love vvomen,you won't understand them;if you understand vvomen,you will hate them

No. Don't let your understanding of female nature bring you to a place of hatred; this has never been the goal of the red pill. You can either love or deeply understand women, you cannot do both (I have said this countless times here). Does this imply hatred? NO!

As I will always say afterwards, simply adjust to this realisation by being indifferent/cold, shrewd and unapologetic in how you run your affairs with women. This doesn't mean you can't get along with women, be occasionally kind, or show basic courtesy. Also, never forget the red pill principle of putting yourself first and having excellent standards and expectations.

Martinez39s:
.
.
.
Let me drop this harsh truth that many might not come to grasp in their lifetime: you can either love or understand women, you cannot do both. This is pure fact. It doesn't mean you should hate them, just approach women with indifference and let your association with them be based on necessity and what you can benefit from them. Forget about friendship with women.

We can agree to disagree.

SMH.

mutantninja:
She married the midget cos of money , Ronaldo is the greatest footballer on earth.

... and Ronaldo's woman isn't with him for money? Just dey play.

People press hin neck tire.

AImiron:
I’m even crazier, you see after that Saudi loss, na then my motivation tripled. I kept telling my friends that Leo will win this World Cup , they mocked me say in my dreams, they mentioned 5 teams that will take em apart, say shey no be this team wey Saudi just murdered, the rest na history nah me laugh last.

Ever since we no Dey argue over 🐐 again.

I also predicted city will win treble last season as well. I don Dey scream treble since December 2022

Bro, I have been observing you for a long time. You the greatest Messi and Man City fan I have ever seen on nairaland. Respect!

AImiron:
I’m surprised too bro, the suddenly developed amnesia.

Don't mind them. Na so dem dey do. Even my younger bro, a pendu fan, has the same amnesia. Before the World Cup, I remember wishfully saying to my brother "Imagine if Messi 'mistakenly' wins World Cup, like play like play." He vehemently, sternly and solemnly said "and he will not win it. He repeated this many times. I wasn't so confident in Messi's chances of landing the WC, so I kept quiet.

After the World Cup, when I came back from my travel, I reminded him of his words, and he claimed he never said such... that he could not have said. More surprising was that he also said he always knew that Argentina was a huge favourite and Portugal is just a small team and not as strong as Argentina. He and his friend wouldn't stop blabbing about how the WC was rigged and how Argentina is a football power house with a rich history, unlike Portugal. Na so I shock come leave matter for Matthias.

AImiron:
that’s where you’re wrong, pre-2022 World Cup Argentina were never the favorite, infact they weren’t TOP 5 favorites, if I lie burst me.

Argentina has 2 world cups , Argentina won it 1986, how does that epp em win 2014 finals. Portugal had a better squad at Qatar compare to Argentina.

Infact since I don Dey watch Argentina national side na their weakest squad won the World Cup.

The same thing happened to this Inter Miami team, Messi makes an average teams look exceptional.

Ronaldo fans are filled with lies. Before the World Cup, we all knew Portugal were a huge favourite compared to Argentina. The public, Messi fans included, thought Portugal had more chances. After the Saudi Arabia defeat and Portugal's win over Ghana, they made fun of Argentina and Messi. It is after the World Cup that they remembered Portugal is not a power house. Liars! I am enjoying their shalaye, irrational rants and mental gymnastics.

● Took the worst team in the MLS to their first ever trophy. ✅️✅️

● Scored in every game he played in and carried the team. ✅️✅️

● Gave his penalty to his teammate to boost his confidence and lessen his poor form. Messi wasn't too greedy like the inglorious Pendu who tried to steal Bruno's goal and wouldn't let Mane take a penalty. ✅️✅️

● Turned up all the way. ✅️✅️

● Gave the captain arm band to the former captain and lifted the trophy together. ✅️✅️

● Earned his man-of-the-match awards and best player of the tournament, instead of being surprised that the award went someone else. ✅️✅️

That's it guys. Lionel Messi is the GOAT. 8TH BALLOON D'OR LOADING, and god punish PSG.

Sarcastically speaking, this script had a lot of heart attacks and suspense. The script writers should tone it down next time and give us easier scripts; just permit Campana to score his open goal next time as it is still a good script.

maynation:
You are still a hater baba.

In Eric Ten Hag, I trust. GGMU. Doesn't take a genius to know we are winning this. Good day.

slawomir:
Damnnn niggar

Them don burst Liverpool

The Europa candidates are trying their best, let them breetfff.

maynation:
Diaz. Omo ologo.
2 goals in two appearances.

This Diaz guy just came and fitted in perfectly last season, as if he had been playing with his teammates for years. The guy is good, I won't lie.

The europa candidates might win this match, just saying.

Ave Maria.

It will never be well be PSG.

#UpManUtd #UpRealMadrid #DownLiverpool

SMH.

Oga... no hymen, no wedding ring. No dey stress yourself with too much thinking. Women boku like rice.

Almiron:
which competition are you talking about, he has the highest assists in Ligue 1 in his first season. Messi doesn’t care about no competition. He’s only competing with himself right now.

You forget to point that this Inter Miami team has been struggling for several months, he came and there was turn around, unlike when Penado joined Nasiru Fc dem lose out everywhere, the difference is clear cos Messi is all in one, if he no fit score , assists fit show, or make e create goal scoring opportunities it’s now left for em to score.

Unlike penado wey go hide inside the box waiting for tapin or dive for penalties.

Are you minding him? It will never be well with PSG and the people running the club. Useless team. The Mbappe that they were making number 1 because "he is young and he's the future" is giving the team serious problems and is about to leave the club almost the same time as Messi. So much for the future.

It shall never be well with PSG and everyone running that club. Up Messi.


#UpManUtd #UpRealMadrid #DownLiverpool

I nonchalantly scrolled through pages just to see old folks still keeping this thread active. I thought the thread had utterly cooled off; I didn't know I will have so much to catch up on. Kudos!

emmaodet:
This has always been my problem with poor people who don't plan in life.
To be poor in life is bad enough, adding children recklessly is the highest stupidity of it and the poor badly planning people always have a way of transferring their problem to those who are planning thier own.
Always begging for help, their kids turn to junkies and thieves, prostitutes etc in the society thereby influencing the kids of those who are planning their own lives

I spit on the op

You don talk am finish. But wait o

"I have to pass on my legacy"
"The family name must continue"
"God will provide"
"What about my bloodline?"
"Hopefully."

Na like this poor man go take manifold responsibility dump for hin head. Bloodline on top 40k per month with five kids na blood covenant with sapa... e no worth am. No worthy legacy dey dis blood covenant.

We4all:
I have zero pity for the likes of you. In fact, even if I had the means to assist, I will NEVER help people like you.

Do u know why? I will tell you. It's because some of you have decided not to have sense. Do you think those that gave birth to a child because that's the number they can afford to cater for are fools?

I don't know how some of you reason. The hardship you were facing wasn't enough, you choose to drag innocent kids into it. Now, you're running away from your responsibilities.

I will tell you the same thing that I always say to 'irresponsible parents'. If you can't train your kids, go and sell them. There will be willing buyers who will help you lessen the burden.

I stopped advising poor folks to stop breeding because they take great offence at it and think I am looking down on them. They interpret my sincere and innocuous advice as me saying they are not fit, worthy and human enough to procreate.

Unfortunately, others will suffer their bad decisions.

Foolish man. Suffering and poverty dealt with you and showed you shege, but you didn't learn. Your first-hand experience with sapa should have made you smart and empathetic to know that innocent kids should not be brought to suffer in life. You went ahead to bring five kids and thought that an illusion called god will somehow bail you out. You deserve 50 lashes.

When you were hoping on god, didn't it occur to you that god doesn't help anyone? Have you seen god help anyone anywhere? Smh. Only foolish people hope on god without taking taking realistic action.

For the sake of your innocent kids, I hope things turn out well for you. If you give birth again ehn, thunder will light up your coconut head. It is not by force to continue bloodline; if you can't comfortably take care of kids, no wrong in remaining single till death. You will be even doing yourself and the world a favour. Bloodline continuation that is filled with suffering is not worth it.

===========================================

jackmrandy:
I know for sure this can never be true. but if its true, but lets join you to lament. you are the cause we have miscrants in the society. children whose parents are no taking care of them and at that the end sort to robbery and thugery for survival causing nuisance in the society because their parents neglected them. Gone are the days that people will say na God dey give children, uncontrolled sexual appetite gives birth to children when not done properly (protection, family planning) . don't bring children you can not take care of into this world, especially here Nigeria.

Say no more, bro.

Dizzyyish:
She was using you for her self-serving interests and she has seen a better "tool" than you. It may sound harsh but it's the truth. Also, she can't afford that fully-furnished apartment and didn't get all that for free, so best believe she paid for it with her body (the world's oldest profession).

You should probably read this:

https://www.nairaland.com/7753241/wahala-chaos-female-nature-volume

and..

https://www.nairaland.com/7166252/wahala-chaos-female-nature#113575657

You don talk am finish.

Lifestone:
I don't get you guys argument. You mean she should remain at the same level and wait until the guy moves up before she moves too.
Nigeria men can't handle their women doing better than them, yet their games are poor.
A man should support her woman and become her champion. If you can't handle that, move on to the one you can handle

Small pikin still dey your body. Just dey play.

@MJBOLT

Take a look at this. This guy was part of the people dragging Benjamin Mendy and saying that he is guilty. Now, what is the essence of his sympathy? He even made a post saying that he has now retraced his steps and he shouldn't have been quick to judge. He later deleted his post. While I commend him for admitting he wad wrong, it must be noted that the naivety of believing unsubstantiated rape allegations, even from multiple women, is a really dangerous thing. Many men have suffered irreparable damages and incurred irrecoverable losses. Some have even ended their lives.

I just came here to share this news, but you beat me to it. Looks like I still have a lot have a lot of catching up to do when I fully resume this thread later on.

MJBOLT:

this shit is getting too much now
Accuse a man falsely,ruin his life,go scott free,repeat

Too bad. He didn't even say a word to journalists after the verdict.