₦airaland Forum

When a girl keep givin a guy sex all the time, and also render som services to him, when she is not yet his wife, he wil either be reluctant to marry her or keep delaying it. Since he is already enjoying the benefits of a wife frm her...especially the regular sex. Girls shd wise up.

COPIED:

I am not a relationship counselor oooo, but a Facebook friend of mine sent this to me and said I should put it on Nairaland and ask you guys what he should do.
So here it is.
"There is this lady, we dated back then in school, I think we loved each other very well. We dated for long but no sex nor kisses.. We only hug once. Something happened she got married, she invited me to all her wine carrying and Always kept me specially in her father's sitting room n attended to me personally. On her wedding day she also invited me but I declined and decided to cut off with her. She did too and we moved on after that she called n called and I didn't pick her calls for years . So recently, I did my white wedding and decided to invite her.
She came and I was surprised. I saw she looked good and gave me nice gift. But after that day she started calling me three days and I told her let's meet since I was still around town. We agreed on venue and she showed up. We talked and talked about past and family. She has three children now and finished giving birth according to her. In short, we did something nasty things that day like serious touching although no sex. Since then that day she calls and has refused to stop calling me when I refused to return her calls too. Asking to see me again and to visit me since my wife is not with me presently. She also Quarreled me cuz I didn't call her. Honestly i am confused.. Don't know what to do ooo"

COPIED:
MARRIAGE ADVICE FOR SINGLES, BY RENO OMOKRI

A fool marries because all his/her mates are marrying.
A wise person marries because he/she is ready for marriage.
Less than 10% of your marriage life will be spent in intimacy in bed. So don't be carried away by physical beauty/attraction alone.
You won't buy a beautiful car with a bad engine, so why marry a beautiful girl with a bad character? Engine moves the car.
Never marry a person until you've made them angry. That's when you'll see the real person you will live with forever.
If you equate sex with love then your love isn't higher than the love animals have for each other. Love is more than sex.
Its no competition. First to marry wins no prize. Better to take time before marriage than hate your life after marriage!

Imagine when someone does you bad or hurt you, and yet doesnt feel any guilt at all. They just behave as if nothing happened. Some of such people even hold important positions in their church or are regular church goers. But go about hurting people at will. And when you go to their whatsapp/facebook walls, you see them quoting or putting up Bible scriptures all the time, giving one the impression they are as holy or righteous as the Pope. Imagine the hypocrisy. People no longer have conscience at all. Its even worse and common in relationship of nowadays. Where love no longer exist. People are just in it to either make money, have sex or have access to a comfortable life. Everybody is now selfish. Looking out for their personal interest only. With the way things are going, the end is here. And this is just the beginning....all I see everywhere are nothing but end time relationship filled with bitterness, selfishness, greed, vengeance, and immoralities...

One can never tell or know the real nature of a caged bird unless you let it out of the cage. Most Nigerian girls are just like that. When they are not exposed or given the opportunity to experience some fun, they tend to be decent, naive and responsible. Always playing the good girl. But once they are exposed or free to have fun, they end up becoming wild, over exposed and sometimes irresponsible... They are just like birds, that crave to move about freely. You see once upon a time good girls, becoming something else after being introduced to another kind of lifestyle. You see them even over doing it. Clubbing, partying, smoking, drinking, having multiple partners, indulging in so much sex, drugs or lesbianism, etc... Though, some do change later, but others, like a bird out of a cage, never come back (become repentant)

If you're a lady, and feel you're not fine or tall enough to attract tall or fine guys, abeg nothing do you. And even if you're a plus size lady and keep finding it difficult to get a date, cos of your size, biko nothing do you. We do have girls in such situations, who usually find it difficult having a boyfriend due to their physical appearance, and not cos of their character. Cos most times, guys might not even bother to get closer to them to know them better cos of their size. People tend to judge or access a lady's beauty based on her height or size. And as a result, not a few plus size women have gone through one heartbreak or the other. Some of them have been dumped, rejected or insulted cos of their size. And some are single and unable to get a suitor simply cos they are fat. But come o, wetin do plus size women? What makes the slim or sexy shaped lady better than a fat lady? Let me tell you something, most plus size ladies are even more caring and loving. Their size shouldn't be an excuse to treat them anyhow. It's something you (a guy) can work on, or get used to. Beauty is more about character than appearance. And do you know a plus size lady is also good in taking care of a man? When it comes to pampering guys, give it to them. And when they love, they love unconditionally, with the whole of their hearts. Abeg, if you're a plus size lady, nothing do you!

This is for married ladies in school, whose partners do all they can to make them 'comfortable' in school. For there are guys who wouldn't want their wives to mix or share rooms with any runz or bad girl on campus, so that their wives won't be influenced negatively. That's why some of them go out of their way to get off-campus accommodation for their wives or see how they could be paired with responsible girls in school. Despite this, some still call their wives often. And sometimes whenever they call, they always like to talk to their wives' room mate. Just to be sure she's ok. Doing this or more is like being 'married' to your wife (tying your belt to your wife's waist). My dear, all this won't add or reduce the price of garri in the market. You can only advise and show good examples, but can't stop anyone from 'misbehaving' while in school. So many factors contribute to making a good girl turn bad or a married woman 'flow' with others in school. Worrying yourself over this, is like inviting hypertension into your heart...Like I said earlier, as a man you can only advise, show good examples, and do all you can to make life comfortable for your wife in school. And leave the rest to God.

You cheat on your girlfriend at will, but frowns anytime you see her with another guy. Bros, na guilty conscience dey worry you! Or as a lady, you've not been faithful to your guy, but expect him to be faithful to you...that kind girl must be very heartless o

Most times people take shit from their boyfriend/girlfriend cos of love. Despite being treated like poo, they find it difficult to let go. Cos they are madly in love with the guy or girl. But its never right to take your partner for granted, no matter what. Most times guys are guilty of this. By doing whatever they like, simply cos he or she will always be forgiven. And despite what they do, their partners are always willing to forgive or take them back. Some use emotions or lies just to have their way. And most of the girls who are in abusive relationship, find it difficult to leave their guy, due to the reasons listed above. Most times, some are used as pawns in the palms of their partners. They play them like ping pong. Forgetting that there's a limit to everything. We all aint priests that you can always run to confess and seek for forgiveness all the time. Cos there's a limit to what a person can take. And never you play anyone for a fool. Cos one day, he or she might be forced to slam the door on your face!

Chei, guys and their love for breast...Imagine this guy refused to leave the fruit seller lady even after buying what he wanted. guess na cos of her exposed boobs...

Its very common to see a guy sweating and working his arse off just to raise enough money to give to his girlfriend or wife. Most times, overdoing it. And sometimes getting involved in fraudulent acts just to have enough to give to his woman. Especially if he has an insatiable girlfriend or wife at home. Most guys have found themselves in such situations. Doing their best just to impress a girl. Some have even joined yahoo-yahoo or become 419ers just to become comfortable and also have enough money to give out to their numerous girlfriends. Since most girls are attracted to money like magnet. And its also cos of women/girls that some men commit financial crimes at work (especially top government officials and bankers). They just want to have enough/surplus to give to their wives/girlfriends. Its like women naturally put so much pressure on men.

Guys, you don't need a woman to prove yourself. You don't have to steal or commit fraud just to impress or provide for any woman or girlfriend. Just believe in yourself, and do things right. Don't let any girl or woman put you under pressure. Cos when you get into trouble, that girl or woman wont waste time abandoning you to your fate. Just do things right.

Why do girls cry cos of a guy (boyfriend). Especially whenever they're having issues in their relationship or whenever her guy wants to end the relationship. It is out of love or infatuation?

When you catch your boyfriend cheating on you, what would you do? Break his head right there and then, fight/beat the shit out of the other girl, or simply walk away, to cry and lick your wounds at home?

A girl is not yours until she's married to you. And most girls are always fond of making this clear to their guy. They feel you (the boyfriend) have no right telling them what to do. You can't even question her aspa her movement, who she mingles with or probably slept with behind your back. Cos, she ain't yours yet until you do the right thing.

COPIED:

So let's do small gist before we wake up and face the day...
Years back when I was in Uni, I had this boyfriend. He was in Lagos while I was schooling in Edo so you could call it a long distance relationship.
Anyway, this guy was so adorable, so caring, so nice ati be be lo. If I said jump, he'd ask 'Baby, how high do you want me to jump? Are you sure I shouldn't fly too?" I'm kidding but you know what I mean. He was a perfect boyfriend.
He made me feel so good and secure. He gave me a key to his place. Whenever I was coming back from school, he'd pick me up. He was my driver around town. He'd escort me to the salon and sit patiently while I made my hair. Very correct guy.
So, there was a time we had this cultist wahala in school so I decided to come home while they settled their nonsense, person cannot come and die by stray bullet. Anyway, I didn't inform my boo so he wasn't expecting me. I wanted to surprise him.
I got to Lagos, took a cab to his house and opened the door. Immediately I got in, I saw this sisi coming out of the kitchen wearing his shirt and boxers. I just smiled inside me. She was startled. Before she could open her mouth, I seized the narrative.
"Who are you and where's my brother? Isn't he back from work?"
She was startled. "Ah. You're Ayo's sister? Welcome aunty. Welcome"
She knelt down, greeted me and took my bag. "He's not yet back ma. Come and sit down. What would you drink?"
I was amused. Here I was barely 20, and a girl clearly older than I was was genuflecting and greeting me with respect because I was in my 'brother's' house.
I decided I liked this respect of a thing and wanted to see how far I could take it.
Let's just say I kinda overdid it.
I sat down, put my legs up and started ordering "my prospective sister-in-law" upandan.
What did you cook?
She cooked jollof rice and served me like a queen. With chicken, turkey and dodo put on a tray. She knelt down while giving me the food. I ate till my tummy almost burst. That was the sweetest jollof I've ever eaten. The best jollof rice ever. I can't get over how sweet it was.
She brought a pillow for me to adjust my back.
She brought the remote control closer to me.
She brought me water.
I sent her to buy me stout.
She went over and beyond to make me comfortable. I liked her already.
While I was sending her upandan, I'd throw her small compliments like "my brother must really like you" "you're the first girl I've seen here" "you're our wife o"
And she'd giggle and blush and do more to please me.
She must have asked me "Aunty, do you want me to do anything else for you?" like 50 times.
After eating delicious jollof rice to my fill, I settled down to watch TV. I still kept on sending my 'sister in law' though.
Open my bag. Bring out that charger. Charge my phone.
Take out the clothes in that bag. Put them in this other bag.
She was a dutiful little worker. Bless her.
Shortly after 7pm, our 'boyfriend" came back...though I mean by now he was my brother
Immediately he got in and saw me, he was shocked opening his mouth and closing it like a fish.
I jumped up and called my new 'sister-in-law'. "Your darling is back o. Thank you for taking care of me. I'd be going home now"
Then I turned to my brother and wagged my finger in his face "This girl is a good girl. You better treat her right"
Then I turned back to my sister-in-law "If he misbehaves, let me know" She knelt down and thanked me again. I was happy. This respect thing is heady stuff o.
She collected my number and I told my brother to pick my bags and drop me home.
He picked up my bags and we went out into the car. He still hadn't uttered a word. We got into the car and he started apologizing. He was sorry. She meant nothing. He met her at the club. He wasn't expecting me blah blah blah.
I didn't even answer him. I didn't have his time. I was too busy thinking about that sweet jollof rice.
I was regretting why I didn't tell her to pack me a bowl of it to eat at home.
We got to my house and I got down, I didn't even look back at him or wave bye.
That jollof rice was sweet ehn.

There are lots of factors that contribute to the failure of most relationship. And someone close to either you or your partner could be one of these factors
...

Take the case of Wizkid vs Linda Ikeji. Maybe its cos she's a successful blogger, that's why he's attacking her. Most guys are like that. They don't like seeing their girls or any other girl becoming more successful than them. They usually feel the girl is trying to compete or belittle them with her wealth or success. Guys learn to appreciate your girls. Stop hating. Support and encourage your girls to be hardworking and successful.

I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men, they are far superior and always have been.

Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater.
If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby
If you give her a house, she'll give you a home
If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal
If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart

She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.

....William Golding.

And according to a research/study carried out in the US, women are the superior gender due to the following facts and more

Women are less violent and aggressive than men
They are also naturally greener than men (since they use less natural resources such as fuel, water, air and food)
Women live longer than men
women can live longer than men without food because women have more body fat and less muscle mass than men
They have higher pain tolerance than men (take labor pain as an example)
They are better than men when it comes to multi-tasking
They know how to handle stress than men
They are better with money than men
They are cleaner than men
They make better leaders than men
They have higher social and emotional intelligence than men
They are safer car drivers than men
And speaking of sex, consider that women can be multi-orgasmic! Score another major point for the ladies
It has also been medically proven that a woman can procreate without a man.

The only area where men have a clear advantage over women is their physical strength and possibly reaction time. But, unless we're considering sports or athletic performance, even this physical advantage is becoming less and less important due to technological advancements that are leveling the physical playing field.

From the above, you can see that a woman is indeed a superior gender.

There are a lot of things a woman can do that a man can not do. So, guys learn to respect your girls!

Her latest spat with wizkid made me realized she has more enemies than friends, especially in the media/entertainment industry. Cos I discovered a lot of people are secretly backing wizkid against Linda Ikeji. Some are saying she deserves what wizkid is doing to her cos that's what she does too, to make money...

When a girl is so beautiful and sexy, a lot of guys can do anything to have her...even if it means climbing the tallest mountain for her sake...Some can even displease or ignore their friends cos of a girl. Especially if she is this beautiful, and sexy...

Alot of girls fall into this category. Most girls (and guys sometimes) have found themselves going from frying pan to fire when they leave a guy for someone else. But cos of shame, they hardly say it. Many of them usually end up regretting after leaving a good guy for a guy who later turn out to be a terrible experience for them. But rather than go back and beg their ex to take them, you see them preferring to move on while licking their wounds...Girls should learn to be patient, and never to be carried away by material things. Except the person you are with, is bad, violent, unfaithful and uncaring, then you have a million and one reasons to walk away. But if he or she treats you like a King/Queen, is loyal and caring to you, and you end up hurting/dumping such a person. You are bound to regret it for the rest of your life...

Imagine a guy looking for a virgin girl to marry, after deflowering many girls and sleeping with enough girls. Now, he wants to marry only a virgin girl. So, whats going to happen to all those girls he slept well (some severally), and the ones he also disvirgined? A lot of guys tend to reason or behave like that. He simply wants to eat their cake and also have it...for their mind, I guess. Instead of waiting tlll when its right, he decide to have sex/disvirgin a girl before marriage. Now, you are looking for a virgin girl to marry, when virgins don scarce...Who are we to blame for the scarcity of virgins? Guys of course!

There are girls who feel using condom during sex is not for matured ladies but for small girls. No wonder most girls hardly insist on using condoms when having sex with a guy. They usually feel condoms are for small girls, and not for matured ladies. And also because using it makes them look like slut/prostitutes. They prefer to take the risk, or assume the guy they are sleeping with is clean (doesn't have any STDs), rather than allow any guy have sex with them with a condom. Imagine the risk? Naija girls are indeed living dangerously these days...

I don't know nor understand why most naija girls are usually shy or ashamed of hanging/drying their washed or wet undies outside. Don't know why most girls are like that. Is either they ask someone else to do it for them or simply leave their undies dirty or wet inside their room for days until they get dried by force. Imagine? Is it not what they wear, and ought to be proud of it. So, why are they shy about it? The whole thing get as e be. Na wah for Naija girls. After dem go dey form...

Guys, na sooo

Its very simple. Most Nigerian men cheat on their wives cos of the slackness of her breast (due to breast feeding) and the looseness of her vagina (due to child bearing). And as a result, their men tend to go out to hunt and sleep with younger and much better girls... If na you which one will you prefer, a tight or loose vagina? A firm or sagging breast? The choice is yours...

Most times, girls are known to cheat on their boyfriends secretly, out of guilt and also in order not to hurt his feelings. And not cos she is afraid of him. And there are girls who does their own cheating so openly, without any fear or guilt. They chat and flirt anyhow on the phone with other guys right in the presence of their main guy. Even making arrangement to meet somewhere later. These ones are usually saucy, daring and confrontational with their guy whenever she's caught or suspected of cheating. While those that does theirs secretly, hardly pick calls from the other lover(s) whenever their guy is around. Everything is usually done codely. These type of girls still care about their main guy, and as a result, tend to hold on to him despite cheating on him. They do their best not to be caught by their main guy, in order not to lose him. But to me, they are both bad. Cos while one is openly heartless, the other one is cunningly heartless.

There are only two types of girls in the world...the girl that wants something and the girl that doesn't want anything. The girl that wants something, usually has a price and can be bought. She is sometimes greedy, and selfish. While the girl that doesn't want anything can hardly be bought. She is usually a self made. And can hardly be influenced. Which one are you?

Have you ever ignored a particular good girl just cos of another girl whom you thought was an angel, only to realize later how bad and terrible she is. But by the time you realized this, the good girl you completely ignored has already been taken. Making it impossible for you to make amends. Have you as a guy been in such a situation before? Its usually painful, right? when you realize what you've lost cos of what you thought you had... Most guys are guilty of this (losing a good girl cos of a bad girl), cos of their desire for looks or sex. Yeah, sometimes such things usually happen cos of a man's preference for beauty or his love for sex, which tend to cover the eyes/mind of most guys, from seeing or knowing the difference between good... and bad.

Everytime you hear girls claiming to be playing safe, by having more than one boyfriend (not putting all their eggs in one basket), and having unprotected sex with all of them? Is such a girl normal or wise? Is she not fooling herself? Cos, guys who double date most times use condoms when having sex with any of his girlfriends plus side chics. But thats not the case with girls who double date. Cos, many of them usually dont use condom when sleeping with any of their lovers. Even during the same week. Most girls dont even insist on condoms during sex anymore. Some of them even get angry or suspicious whenever they see their boyfriend with a condom. These days most naija girls take lot of risk out of foolishness & greed. Imagine a girl sleeping with all her boyfriends 1, 2 or 3 without using condoms, and yet claim to be playing safe by having more than one boyfriend (double/triple dating)...I pity such girls, cos they are simply playing & messing with their lives.

When a girl lie, sneak out and do whatever it takes to be with a guy, she'd also do the same thing/tricks when she start cheating on the guy... So, dnt ever encourage any girl to lie or go against her family just to be with you. Allow things to happen naturally and let God take control. Cos, encouraging her to do such cos of selfish reasons, is like helping her to become a bad girl... Just like what happened between America, Russia and the Taliban in Afghanistan. When Afghan Taliban later turn against the USA, after bn trained and used by the US to fight Russia. All the training, tricks and weapons given and taught the taliban by USA, were later used by the Taliban to attack and fight the US...so, guys, dont do nor accept anything out of selfish reasons. Cos it might later come back to haunt or hurt you...

When a guy is just getting to know a girl, and start telling her he loves her, he is only trying to get into her pants (have sex with her). Cos, thats how most guys behave nowadays. They use love lyrics to get a girl into bed as soon as possible. And gullible girls are falling for such lies...