₦airaland Forum

I dated a guy like that for 15 years, I ended up not marrying him.

True. But some children simply abandon their father because of separation and divorce. A man goes on to marry another woman while the children are being singlehandedly raised by their mums, hence the abandonement.

For the intact homes, dictatorship and lack of care are the culprits. Some married women singlehandedly cater for their kids while staying under a roof with the supposed head of the house.

When Bobo was enjoying, I'm sure he didn't invite you to join. Let him carry his cross and man up. If he can't reason with the woman to arrive at a better deal, then he deserves what he gets.

Some condoms or outright abstinence would have prevented this.

Marriage should be taken seriously but it is not a serious matter. Marriage fails when we go into it expecting too much. Too much love, respect, servitude, understanding, finances, sexual gratification etc, while on the other hand we also have glaring shortcomings and baggages.

If every single person out there will go into marriage with their head, with a pledge and attitude to make it work and with the decision to support and work together through difficulties, I think marriages these days would last more.

Lovely kids. The girl will be a confirmed tomboy.

I have voted for her. Goodluck.

Boss13:
This is a pathetic case of mistrust and lack of communication. There is so much mistrust amongst men and women these days. It's such a shame. Everybody is considering the easy way out and shockingly divorce is not as easy as presumed. The people who say it is do so because they don't want to be laughed at and told they have made a mistake.

Adams, I'm sad you brought your issue to a public forum and at the same time, you might have been in a huge distressed. So it's quite understandable. However, if you read the comments posted on your issue, it should give you the chills and a rethink to never do it again. Strangers insulting your wife, asking you to carry out paternity test on your kids, recommending you flog your wife or get a side chick to make her mellow. Some calling your wife an ingrate. These are people who don't know you, your wife or your family. Others saying the root cause to your marital problems is because you got her pregnant 3 weeks into your relationship. Man, I feel terrible for you.

First, you insulted your wife. You called her unprintable names. You also accused her of cheating without verifiable evidence - for these reasons, you MUST apologize to you wife. Please note that I stressed "must". Whether your wife is cheating or not, you have no proof for now. I also understand you were furious emotional, it happens. Now, you have to apologize.

Second, you are NOW a family with two lovely kids who needs both of you to survive in this tough world. Nobody, I repeat, nobody will ever love or treat your kids better than you and get the same satisfaction from seeing them thrive. Not even the side chick you may be considering bringing in. Adams, most marriages go through tough times, even on a consistent trend. So this is your moment to dig in and remove the friction.

Probably in your mind, you keep wondering if you had not gotten her pregnant in this first place. You know what every man, in marital distress, think the same too. That you married your wife 3 weeks into courtship after she got pregnant, proves you are a better man and one who listens to sound advice. Many men will bail and even ignore the baby.

Third, there is mistrust in your home. You don't trust your wife's business judgement and she doesn't trust you in being with her still the end. Both of you need to sort that out. You must also understand that people fail and that your wife wants to push ahead shows she wants to succeed. Her success should also be your success. You MUST help her succeed. Also, note that I stressed the must again. If you don't have the money let her know, if you can help with the loan, please do. Don't shove her aside. Support her dream and she will be grateful. Also, on the gift stuff, I think she has a point on the name issue. If you are not comfortable with that, buy all properties in the family name. It's not a gift when it's in your name - it's a loan.

It's also sad that your wife is belittling you to her friends, whether male or female. It's very sad indeed. Maybe because she lacks support and encouragement from you. Remember both of you are partners and should be on the same team. Eradicate this mistrust and bring your wife closer, encourage her, praise her and love her even when she is wrong. I bet you will do the same for your kids, so why not for the woman who gave you those children.

Finally, remove the notion that your wife is cheating and you want to seek separation. My brother, that divorce grass is not sweet at all. It will destroy your children's confidence, increase your mistrust for women, destroy your home because the other woman is more likely to mistreat your kids, degrade your wife, reduce the happiness in your family, increase the chances of you dying on time from stress. Only selfish people divorce and trust me, selfish people are never happy. Go and make up with your wife. Don't start another family because you ALREADY have a family.

I leave you with this - if you seek happiness, you must be happy. If you seek love, you must love. Love your wife no matter what.

I saw this late but having gone most of the responses here, I have concluded you have a very good head on your shoulders. Thank you for putting it this way. I wish the OP will read your post again and convince himself that you are giving sound advice.

Social media has become the death of many relationships because folks who have no business giving advice will be trumpeting lopsided opinions.

Funnily enough, I do suspect the wife is not cheating on him. It's a mind game he is yet to comprehend.

Thanks OP. The word of God is a shield unto them that put their trust in Him.

140km/hr is overspeeding for me. But I do get very tempted that I overspeed on highways. Who no like speed?

How does one keep a snake as pet? The snake no get loyalty at all, planning to eat the owner.

Thats why I love dogs. Very loyal.

Wetin carry sex join love in today's world?

Sex is not love.

Guys be claiming they can know. Ladies fake orgasm all the time especially with a terrible partner just to get it over with.
The really hard to detect ones are those who have have had orgasms before, those ones will totally immitate their previous orgasms and you'll never know.

pocohantas:
Apart from sex, what else do Nigerian guys offer?
Apart from sex, what else can Nigerian guys accept happily?

Like I said in another thread , both the lady offering just sex and you that is accepting are both senseless and deserving of each other. You're what you attract...

How many of you guys that ask this question, have taken your time out to ask your girl her career goals? Some of you dated series of girls in university, did you ever ask her GP or challenging courses?
How many of you have ever bought a book for your girlfriends? Let it na be that she didn't read it.

Once babe come to una house, next thing is to buy lacasera and buns, put on i-pass-my-neighbour-generator, then start playing one mumu sex inducing movies from an old laptop.

What do some of you offer?
How many of you have resisted the urge to insert prick?
How many of you have looked a lady in the eye, tell her this relationship isn't about sex but us developing each other? Lemme see how that lady won't appreciate you in years to come.

I didn't answer your question because I know where it's aimed at.

Why do you like making a lotta sense? I doff ma hat for you. Idiots be asking silly questions because they are yet to meet real women whose presence alone is enough to get a guy to start restructing his life for good.

You attract what you are. You think sex is it, and you'll only get women who give you only sex and nothing more.

I also saw a vision madam, that you are lying.

Marriage is honourable in all and the bed undefiled. Pastor, pls explain that.

And when did God prescribe the missionary sex position as the right one?. Sex position dey Bible sef?

I salute his crazy type of love. There must be something in that woman that really touched a chord in his heart.

Meanwhile, in Nigeria , your mother will commit suicide for you if you try that.

She will visit all the prayer houses and chant die by fire until the she faints.

The guy's sibling will make the woman's life hell.

And his friends will mock him at every turn.

The love will just die due to too much pressure.

Leather

Ambode4presdo:
buhari should sack this man with immediate effect

How? When he is working from home?

If he doesn't tell me, how will I know?

DankemzI:
Hurrah

The Government of Abia and Akwa Ibom State have already declared today public holiday.

Aba is jubilating free drinks and nkwobi in excess quantity

Afonjas be like

SESS Be like

Please stop lying against Akwa Ibom. Which public holiday?

A classic case of biting more than you can chew. See his red eyes wey weed don design finish..

God grant women of domestic violence sense. When you die, your children suffer. It's better to walk away alive and be termed 'divorcee, olosho etc,' than to be termed married and die at the hands of a wicked spouse.

Don't RIP madam, haunt that wicked man if you can.

Patience Ozokwor-Mama Gee

Nkem Owo- Osoufia

Sam Dede-Ijele

Pete Edochie-Okonkwo

Kenneth Okonkwo-Andy

Bishop Ime-Okon Lagos

Yes, we can see she is fine. But this uniform no be NYSC own. Simply to obey authority for one year, she can't and we wonder why our country is like this.

ObikeNkem:
We Igbos should stop killing ourselves. Why do we Igbos passionately hate one another

When did Akwa Ibom and Cross River become Igbo?

adorablepepple:
It is finished , the cloth be like Nanny apron

.

It is really finished.

I would choose Uriel over Tboss anytime. The girl's got the body for clothes. Tboss' fans are just trying to force Payporte to make Tboss their ambassador.

Finally I am tire of BBN o.

kaboninc:


Do you wantu be like me?

No way!

kaboninc:
That smile.....

I ended up becoming an atheist!

Chai!

kaboninc:
Don't end up like me.. .back then we attended service when my dad was already rounding up.. .

While rounding up, he'll be smiling and we all know what that kind of smile can mean.. .

That smile that promises pain...

How did you end up? I wan avoid am.

I'm yet to see a medical student who jokes with their MB exams. Probably, the lecturers in UNN ain't doing their jobs right or are over enthusiatic in grading.

It has happened. The best now is to take precautions to forestall future occurrences. RIP to the dead.