₦airaland Forum

aminusodiq:
may I help in discovering you?

Igbo Jewish!!! lol...d only Igbo nairaland taught me is amaka...lol.... I see igboAmaka Everytime!!!

Lol do you want to learn it?

What language do you speak sef

GODPUNISHALABI:
Johnny bravo naija guys prefer to gym all their body but will always neglect legs

Ha! Hahaha

e don collect him pikin back...

sp749513:
I am not a catholic ma.

Yes but they still help people. It's part of evangelism

There's one organisation that does it but I don't remember the name

My point is that you can try religious or NGO/charity organisations

I think the Catholic Church does a lot of work within the prison system, why not go there and ask then if they can connect you with work.

naijacentric:
but we have black arabs now so what has colour got to do with it even indians have blacks

Black Arabs are discriminated against all the time in the Arab world, if you doubt me try watching Arabic TV series during Ramadan and see how they paint their bodies with brown paint to make jest of Sudanese people.

Also there was a case in Lebanon of a Sudanese diplomat who wanted to send his child to nursery school. The school he chose rejected his baby because the Lebanese parents said that if that black boy enters the school, they will all remove their own kids. As the case got some media attention the school now retracted their statement and told the man to come back

In Yemen the black arabs are named "Ikhdam" (Servants) and treated very badly

In Mauritania they still buy and sell black people in the market...

madridsta007:
Mark Zuckeberg of Facebook dropped out of Harvard once he has used Harvard resources to develop his start-up, Facebook. It is a highly selective school which admits only 5% of qualified applicants.
You people that always refer to Zuckerberg and Bill Gates seem not to realise that not everyone with a head goes into Harvard.

Thank you! People just want to scream "drop out" not realising that the entry requirement for that school is enough to send somebody mad

Lionpikin:
the thing no tire me? she travelled for some days, on the second day she called and told me her best friend would be spending some time with me that she just got a job on the island bla bla bla.....maybe she wanted the babe to be monitoring me, I didn't even argue, I just told her if the girl first you carry belle for me or she send you IV for our wedding, no vex o.....na she use her mouth tell the girl make she no near my house.....there is a saying that you can't ask a goat to look after your yam without the goat eating it....I would rather not be in such situation than fighting the temptation....as per the op, he had been eyeing the girl hence the reason for agreeing to the request and falling immediately, but him no come get the mind to handle the guilt....he is a weakling if you ask me.....he presents himself as a good boy, such guys usually have relationships problems .... something as easy as this, he cannot solve

Lol you were being realistic while OP was trying to be a nice guy but ended up burning himself

seuncyrus:
some people love and trust completely with their whole hearts . The op's finacee might be one of those , she trusts her friend and bf completely , so she couldn't have had it in mind that her bf can sleep with her bestfriend

Well, the world isn't as nice as all that. She has to open her eyes because not everybody is as lovely as she is

realoscar84:
Don't get me wrong, I didn't mention Christianity in a negative way. Some of my best friends are Christians. The mode of worship between the 2 religion is quite different n some lazy Muslim who find praying 5x daily as a herculean task will be easily influenced especially in a Christian dominated environment like Portharcourt. That's just what I meant, not to deride Christians

Ok, no problem.

yeyeosoronga:
Never say never. Abuja is a very expensive city. Going there briefly for a job interview from Lagos. Costs:- 1. transport to and fro (might be over 15K or 60K depending if you go by air or road) 2. Hotel per night depending on how long you stay will be more than 5K per night and let's assume your interview is 2-3 days, that'll be another 10-15K). Making it a total of 25K to 80K. I'm being very conservative here.
Imagine that amount from the pocket of a jobless person or one who earns 30K per month on a trip of 2-3 days where you're not even sure of getting the job or being successful at the interview.
Such a person will want to save costs as much as possible, and that might include sharing a room with her friend's boyfriend. Her friend probably understand the financial constraints hence agreed to speak to her bf.

Hmm! And after all that wahala she still went ahead and rode him like a bike (If we believe the story as OP has told it)

It is well oh

BrutusOj:
At all. I will never accept or agree to that from my woman on any condition. Women are always the cause of their problem, why send a female friend to go stay with your man in a self contained apartment, the house has one bathroom, one bedroom, they will definitely get cossy.

Maybe she was testing him because it's a very bad idea

Lionpikin:
I strongly agree with you.....my girl wanted to try that shit with me, my reply was 'if she send you IV for me and her wedding, no vex o'....how a girl would agree for her best friend to pass the night alone with her guy is beyond me. Test or no test, both of them don fvck up....

Lol I dont understand. Which kind best friend be that

slam7000:
Rubbish. Two adults took advantage of a situation. That’s what it is. The girl might be the one who was taken advantage of because of her position, lack of job, lack of accommodation etc. I think this guy exploited her vulnerability.

She’s disadvantaged here in my opinion and this dude saw the weakness in her and exploited it.

But sir, dont you think that somebody who is travelling from Port Harcourt to Abuja should know how they will manage themselves when they get there?

How can you be vulnerable for a planned journey? So why are you going there

How many hours on the Peace mass bus will it take you to realise that you are vulnerable....

franciskaine:
I neva said he should keep it a secret. Whatever pleases him he should do. There's no single rule to solving this puzzle. What works for A might crash B. Let him do whatever he wishes and hopefully he might get a positive result.

Amen.

ogbuefi677:
My sister,that na their wahala, though personally I have little scruples about miss/mrs A deciding to shag boy/Mr B.
Na elastic tissue dey for those thighs,stretch and contract.
It helped too that my girlfriend now wife was at Abj law sch about 2hrs away,so I knew it would be wahala for me if I misbehaved(both knew about each other and my girl visited once in a while)
The girl in question later confided in a mutual friend that she felt heartbroken that I never considered her for dating/marriage bla bla,and that she'd have made a perfect wife for me bla bla.
Babe is a tomboy,drinks wella like me,smokes wella too.
We go hangout with a group of guys,na only me n am go still sober by the time we'd be going home,to lie down on the same bed(was living in a room and parlour then with only the room furnished,parlor was bare).It was a miracle none of us ever as little as tried but maybe met resistance.
The effect is she trusts me so much now,I have a spare key to her flat so I can sleep over when I'm on call(I now live 1hr away after I got married).
What I'm saying in essence is,no need trying to blame "temptation",in the case of op,both were willing sinners

Lol. You really tried. Thank God you didnt do it, plus she helped you not to do it. At least you people are seeing the benefit of it now

Ariza:
You must learn to see things from other people's perspective to understand life. She was naive maybe but not stupid.

That's it.

I didnt say she is stupid. I said that her action was stupid

Do you know that in days of old, the whole village will be on fire if you are seen sleeping in somebodys husbands house? So is this supposed to be wokeness or what??

Ariza:
From the guy's story , His Girlfriend is a good lady and one of the attributes of Goodness is Altruism which comes out of trust. People like op's girlfriend give benefits of doubt a lot and sees others like themselves until proven otherwise. Also from the story, the two ladies are very close. So close to the extent of working out their services to be at the same place. That shows a deep form of connection that is hardly found among women these days. There was Trust, Trueness, and love just that it turned out to be one sided.

My heart goes out to the lady who is about to lose the two people she loves dearly.

Lol. there is a difference between trust and total illogicality. That thing she did was very stupid, Im sorry to say

I cant even try such in my own blood sister's house and it doesnt mean that I am not a good person

franciskaine:
ofcus! The chances of him getting his relationship back after such spill is less than 10%. His cross to carry. We must seek and apply wisdom in all we do. That he even had sex with the said lady more dan once makes his sorry story questionable.

But if she finds out later it would be even worse. How do you expect them to be calm when the woman is her friend??

So they will all be pretending for the rest of their lives or what?

ogbuefi677:
She got a job in my workplace 6 months after I got,so had to put up with me.Trying to sleep somewhere else could mean with strangers cos it was far from home(South east to North central)
And as I said,boyfriend was already married by then though visited from time to time.
No biggie for me,I get discipline wella when it comes to things of the thigh.

Oh she's even sleeping with somebody else's guy herself?

Muna continue oh

franciskaine:
must the girl have qualms to show she acted wrongly? Mind you, we've read one side of a story, and hasty assumption is wrong. "A room flat", this tells there are more dan one room in that house. Meaning a real dude who meant well for his relationship could av done something else to save his relationship. Truth be told, op is weak and should take the blame. Don't blame the girl alone.

Its the only side of the story we have. And you are assuming that the girl cares without hearing from her

I am not blaming the girl alone, I am advising OP to be practical and not think that the girl would be interested in preserving the relationship just because he is

Yeah OP is already blaming himself and Im saying that just because he has a conscience, doesnt mean that girl does.

skukimania:
When you can't do something to your friend, you won't think your friend can ever do it to you. That's being too trusting! She has a very pure heart. That's all.

Hmm...if you say so but theres a thin line between trust and naivety...

Thats a very stupid suggestion sorry to use that word.... at least as an adult you could know better...

franciskaine:
can you all just stop blaimg that girl. The 3 of them acted wrongly. First, no matter the trust level, neva allow your best friend too close to your man or lady in your very absence. For me, I think this is a trap game and d dude fell cheaply for it. Next time, be courageous enough to stay off a woman who is not yours.

What are you talking about, did you read the write-up?

He said that the girl didnt have any qualms about sleeping with him, who is blaming anybody

I could never stay in a self-contained with my girlfriends man, never! At least if its BQ in a huge house we can understand that one though I would still be uncomfortable with it

ogbuefi677:
not a big deal.
Have slept on the same bed on and off for months with a female colleague who actually is the girlfriend abi ex to my bestfriend(bobo was already married when all this was happening and I was still single) and nothing happened.
It helped sha that she never made any move towards me cos I doubt if I could've resisted.

What are you doing on the same bed as somebodys girlfriend? So she couldnt sleep somewhere else?

Why do you people bring problems on yourselves?

Ariza:
It is called TRUST. She trusted both of them and that isn't a weakness.

And what kind of stupid trust is that?

Will you leave a sugar cane in front of an anthill and expect it to be there tomorrow?

I thought it was illegal to kill Eke in anambra state...

Donjazzy12:
My dear don't kill yourself! Now let me shock you. Your supposed innocent girlfriend is a lesbian or should I say a bisexual. Her girlfriend is her lesbian partner and they have been worried how to break this to you. So she sends her to seduce you all in the guise of staying with you to reduce hotel bills

Yeah, back to you. How did I know this? It happened to my Cousin!

This is another angle! Strange but possible....

Keep what to yourself??

Bia enyia, better go and tell her. Or you think that sociopath of a friend won't spill the beans Her so-called "best friend" who thought nothing of sleeping with you? She was obviously jealous of you guys relationship

Tell her and let her decide whether she wants you or not. At least you haven't married her yet so the thing is still malleable

So you are ready for your heart to start flying every time her name is mentioned? What of when you start having babies and she leaves them with that girl? You have to let her know that she has an enemy in her camp so that she will know what to do

Jasen1:
I don't know if you guys read where she said the man changed as things started getting better for him

It means he want to get another wife
That's the simple truth

She said theyve been going for 5 years, that things have improved since they met

How could he want another wife as soon as he met her?

aumeehn:
This is the time when Allah answers prayers and I'm already on it! you can also try and be praying especially by 3am every day. Besides I didn't insult her. I told her the pure unadulterated truth!

Lol hahahaha

Please just tell me, is it part of the Sunnah tradition to insult people? I want to know

I mean did Prophet Mohammad pbuh actually instruct you to call people stupid and useless? Thats just the point of this conversation

aumeehn:
Lol crisis my foot! besides I didn't said I'm in anyway better than her! It's 3am dear i'm done here!

Good! And you'll wake up to pray Fajr and go on to abuse more people. Well done!