₦airaland Forum

QuintessentialW:
Please, my Uncle's intentions aren't borne out of anything selfish at all. He's been totally selfless all these years.

Dear I understand, but we don't know him.

We have only seen what he has told you to do which is totally wrong and goes against the idea that he is selfless.

What I am arguing against is the idea that just because he helped you it somehow gives him the right to usurp what belongs to somebody else at your expense.

That's what that person wrote and its very bad.

I am sure he is great and has helped you immeasurably throughout your life, but that thing they are arguing in favour of is not right.

QuintessentialW:
Thanks a lot midnighter. Very valid points. But I won't marry in the village.

You're welcome, all the best

MPESA:
They don't know what they getting themselves into, they are on the long thing if they follow that path no matter how harmless it's seems now it will SURELY BACK FIRE IN THE FUTURE.

Yes o

Kaeboy:
I webt to virtually all the stores and kiosk in my area, they don't even have idea what I was saying. They advise I spray the whole house with sniper.

They sell it N100 almost everywhere...where they sell brushes and shoe polish and stuff like that

MPESA:
You said it all , people are watching the whole drama , las las they will use it against her in the future. I pity her brothers that ran away from their own home... For how long will they run/distance themselves from there own home.

As in, that stuff can be very embarrassing if not taken care of from the beginning. At least you package your family even though all is not well so that you will have a respect somewhere.

Yes the brothers own is more complicated, especially where land is concerned. I'm not saying its easy, we know the father is bad but for your own sake you can try to manage something.

Midas01:
You're very stupid for calling a good man selfish. You seem like you yourself are a deadbeat that is why you had no ill words for the actual loser of a father but chose to call her kind-hearted uncle names.

Have you trained anyone through school before? Have you every borne someone's responsibilities, and that of their siblings as well?

If you have not then shut up your mouth and go play in any nearby gutter. Do you think the uncle didn't have anything to spend money on before he chose to care for them like his own children? Nonsense!!!

Let me tell you something OP, your uncle deserves your bride price.
Tradition was made by patriarchal men. As long as it is not a sin then let your uncle take your bride price.

Excuse me, you are totally wrong.

If the uncle could pay all that stuff then he should do it with a clean heart and not because he wants recognition or a paltry bride price sum. So are you trying to tell me that he paid all those school fees so that he will collect London Gin and 30 tubers of yam at the end of it?

He is very irresponsible for advising a young lady who appreciates him so much and who would like to please him to embarrass herself in her husband's house so that he can score cheap points against his brother-in-law.

Why did he just remember to be angry at his sisters treatment now that somebody wants to marry? Why didn't he get angry all this while

That's emotional blackmail and its too bad. Your uncle who suffered so much to take care of you should want you to succeed in your husband's house and not to mess yourself up for his sake because of school fees.

Is she going to keep owing him for school fees for the rest of her life? Is it on credit or what?

If it's like that he should tell her to be refunding his money in monthly instalments and just leave her marriage out of it.

Ziggyduben:
I've even seen a situation where d girl wants her trad in her father's house but d mum refused & says it will b in her own house. Now d groom says he doesn't mind paying bride price to both father & mother but the father who was never there says that will b over his dead body. (The matter tire everybody)

The girl's mother is using her to play politics, very selfish and it may backfire on the daughter one day

PoliteActivist:
Exactly. TODAY only a mad person would exhibit such behavior today

And in the future, what will people do? What if we start taking our clothes off again (which naturists do) and it becomes the new "normal"?

PoliteActivist:
Many, many people have insane ideas without being insane. When people cross that line and everybody says they are insane, it is because they are exhibiting certain BEHAVIOURS

A sane and insane person can both come up with a crazy idea. And both can come up with sane ideas too

Behaviour is socially constructed(to an extent). 100 years ago it was normal for women to walk around without covering their upper body, now we see such and assume she must be a madwoman

Your father's side must collect something on your head but you can stylishly show your disdain for them in other ways without showing yourself up to your husband and his family.

But he or one of your paternal uncles must collect it. Any other thing is just storing embarrassment and insults for the future. And your MIL is watching the whole thing, sorry to bring her into it but it's true. The whole thing is a test, as in a very big one.

Don't allow your maternal family to use you to settle scores. Your uncle has no right to collect what belongs to your father, it is an abomination and a curse. I have seen a similar case to yours...the man tried to bypass his father and ask his maternal uncle to accompany him to marry but that uncle refused and told him to go back to the father. Father who abandoned him when he was a baby!

Your uncle should know better than to collect somebody's due. If he really cared for you all these years then he shouldn't mess up at this late stage. Your husband doesn't need to be seeing or hearing that kind of suggestion. If he has a problem with your dad your uncle should confront him and not use you and your marriage as a cheap pawn.

This is not about whether he "deserves" the bride price or not. As far as he sired you and paid your mothers bride price, it is his right to collect your own.

As for the village, sorry but you have to go there and perform the rites. Even me my village looks like something from the stone age, still the two of us must go home. It's ancestral land and has some ancient meanings attached to it that are very important. At least you are a lady, you are only going there to say goodbye to them since your husband has come to take you away.

If you want you can make the village part as short as possible so you won't need to stay for long.

Sorry about your mum. May she witness your special day from the heavens.

PoliteActivist:
Like I said, we are talking of insane people NOT insane ideas

So who is coming up with the insane ideas...

PoliteActivist:
It is insanity if people term it insanity. How else do u determine insanity

It can be insane and genius at the same time. Plenty of genius ideas have an insane undertone

If they has told us that there would be driverless cars even 10 years ago don't you think it would have sounded like a hallucination??

PoliteActivist:
There is a thin line between genius and insanity. Tesla fell in love with a pigeon and spent today's $30,000 to try to fix her broken leg

Yes and what others term "insanity" may turn out to be genius. That was my point

worworbabe:
I deleted my old nairaland account and rarely post after realising that the average commenter here is pretty dumb. Read the first page and you will see that they didn't take the time to underastand the post before commenting. This is the same way they abuse government policies without understanding them and follow people like Dino Melaye blindly.


Lazy youths! spits

Mehn! I just went back and re-read the whole thing, it has nothing to do with the title at all

These bloggers ehn! See how she's just collecting insult everywhere for nothing

PoliteActivist:
He never said he couldn't get a job or no one was interested in him. The scenario he presented is quite possible. All it takes is a trip to jail followed by deportation and alcoholism or addiction to hard drugs.

However I think the post is probably false for the following reasons:
1)"Boys high school Houston" (Google says no such school exists)
2)Harvard in USA (bet he doesn't know what city Harvard is in)
3)What sort of name is " God's saviour"?!

Lol.

He was being sarcastic...lampooning people who list all their big-man qualifications and yet have nothing to show for it

There's nothing like "boys school", from the beginning that should have told you to take it as a Joke

Anyway even if you're on drugs or whatever, one of the main points in going to an elite private school like Harvard or Covenant is making lifelong connections with wealthy and powerful people.

So you couldn't even end up in oshodi if you wanted to because your classmate probably wouldn't allow you. They would fix you up with something somewhere

Even Prince Edward managed to enter Cambridge with grades CDD and that was the end of it

Yoighaman:
Bro, you totally off point, where was it mentioned that he didn't find a job or was redundant?

"...he worked for a while in the academia but gave it up in 1969 to live in a shack in the woods..."

Doesn't he pass for a drug addict who veered off course by engaging in illicit activities? Like selling bombs....I insist the post is a joke.

He was disillusioned by the effect technology was going to have on the world in future...

Some people are so ahead of those around them that they get depressed that others cannot see what they are seeing

That guy was very smart but it got too much for him in the end. Read his full biography, he was very intelligent

isthatso:
The question was "do you regret studying abroad" not "do you regret studying in the UK". Are you better off with a UK degree than a Nigerian degree? You are answering a different question to what was asked.

He is totally answering the question. This is not just about the degree but what you were able to do with afterwards

His post was relevant to people planning to study in the UK so I don't see the point of that thing you wrote

toprealman:
In addition to your points...... being unemployed after a long time back in Nigeria, working in an unrelated industry or getting paid "peanut".

Yeah. Or being maltreated/excluded from the job in the host country

In Igbo it means "Saliva"/"Spit"

indigene:
You did not answer a question asked by the doctor. Did you visit Ondo state? The Location you visited?
Virologist map different viral infections peculiar to a particular country, states, cities, and village. You admitted working around waters. For example, you can scoop water from my village stream and drink it freely, you can't do the same in some location of Ebonyi state, Benue, Ondo or Ajegunle.

Great comment

Yes, you can get pregnant from pre-cum

Sperm from a previous ejaculation can leak into pre-cum of the next session.

Go and conduct a pregnancy test

How could you have passed such a thing without feeling any pain at all That is really strange... Plus does one pass whole worms in schistosomiasis or just the eggs?

Really, a pathologist needs to analyse that urine + blood + bloody object *(likely a clot). If actually he has eggs in his urine, thats how we will know

For the fact that it stopped for a few days:

a. The treatment was not strong enough

b. He has more than one condition, the drug stopped one but the other one still hasnt been treated

Red urine= kidney

Blood at end of urination stream= bladder/prostate issue

Tell them to do a cystoscopy (using a camera to look at your bladder via your penis)

CanadaOrBust:
We ask again, why then is there a health section? Many things we ask and discuss on NL is not because we can’t get answers other places. Things are discussed in a forum for many reasons. Example, an alternative doctor commented from Ghana. Also many people like me who never knew of such a thing, now know it exists

Thank you, dont know why people insist on being obtuse. How does he know that the advice wont help? Wheres the harm in asking?

People will just type anyhow on somebodys life instead of saying something reasonable

Hmm! And still they wont allow anybody to marry him

What if he needs somebody to help him give away the cars ? Who will be in his passenger seat

UnknownJr:
True. But i think before anyone travels, he or she is supposed to gather information about the school and the courses that will be useful to them.

Yeah. But in the rush to get to "the abroad" people can make mistakes. Plus those schools are good at deceiving people.

It will be sounding good online and when they reach it will be some tiny office in one corner

This is especially true with so-called "Business schools". Some of them are not accredited anywhere but people still flock there even if the location is inside gutter

MicroBox:
This is Islam and not just any how mainstream religions which can be subject to change or modification at anytime by anybody.

Lol go away! Islam that has so many scholars, fiqhs and sects is suddenly not subject to change

RTSC:
That is a backward law and has no place in a supposedly advanced country just like their stupid gun law.

Many criminals return to their crimes because the existing system has no place for them again.

That backward law is a money-making machine!

The prison system is worth millions, it profits the government and private contractors to keep those convicts in the loop

ojun50:
You watch too much of Yoruba Film
My dear sister, ur young sister has my full support, her wedding is a success. Pls invite her over so she can die finally

Invite her so she can do something terrible

Make sure that girl doesnt get access to the food oh

Just make sure she doesn't near that wedding