₦airaland Forum

Just when you think you've seen it all. All I can do is laugh. I have to show this to my kids

Lovenkraand:
Kool

Sorry, can't access my email

Amanda333:
Pls mums and dads in the house, I just need ur advice, just tell me the truth if i should apologise to this woman or not. Sorry for the long story and grammatical errors

There is this certain woman, let me say her family and ours are friends. She probably speaks with my hubby b4 he married me. We all are living outside naija but last yr her hubby decided to send her and the kids down to Nigeria. Ever since then, this woman wont let my husband be. She calls her on daily basis, she chats her up on facebook, whatsapp, Imo etc and she will be calling her baby, nwa, papam etc, telling him i love, i miss you bla bla bla. she also send her pictures, sometimes she will bring out her tongue,snap and send the pics to my hubby, not only that she even send pictures of nude and sexy ladies all over my hubby's fone.

At first i kept quite but later i told hubby that am no longer comfortable with what is happening, he said he will tell woman to mind herself, which he did but the woman didn't stop. I decided to talk to the woman by myself since she is somehow my friend. I chatted her up via facebook and begged her to focus on her hubby and be sending all those pics to him, Infact i advised her as a friend and sis because i heard she is having little little issues with her man. She accepted my advise and thanked me yet she didn't want to stop instead she told my hubby to be deleting their chats and her pics/videos, when i saw that i was pained i have to tell her that am aware of what is still going one, that i thought she is a good friend but since she dont want my happiness, no problem she should continue. I ignored everything concerning her chats until one day i was browsing with hubby's fone, her messages started entering, "Hi dear, missing you, feel like hearing ur voice etc" then i lost it, i told her(via hubby's fone) to keep missing and feeling to hear his voice, let her not focus on his hubby and kids, i later called her senseless woman. After like two weeks the woman sent me one letter like that dat i have insulted her enough, that am selfish and jealous etc. I was so annoyed after reading her letter, i have to dish it back to her. We exchanged unpleasant words via messenger, Since then, am not so happy about the issue, i feel like telling her am sorry for the whole issue but one side of me is telling me that i shouldn't do that because she deserved what she got from me (honestly i insulted her so well despite the fact that she is my senior although she didnt want to respect herself). I am a peaceful being i hate keeping malice but this woman really pushed me, can u imagine sometimes she will be calling my hubby by 1 or 2 midnight.


NB: I don't want to tell her hubby whats going on because the man is a nice man, he is my hubby's friend he even came to our house last week Sunday and he respects me alot, he even told me that he want to bring his wife back because she has being misbehaving ever since she travelled to naija.

pls i want you guys to advice me, should i tell her sorry or should i 4get her and let our malice continue, I have some of her messages to hubby on my fone but wont send it here because i may see the story somewhere else like igboist and co and hubby is in Igboist


Thanks for ur advice

The only problem I see here is your husband. He owes you an apology and you owe yourself an apology for belittling yourself, beseeching the other woman to stop her naughtiness with your husband. You are chasing a woman away from your husband when he is still available to receive midnight calls from her. She told him to delete pics and messages so that you won't see them and you still don't think it odd she has the audacity to tell your husband that?

If your husband truly doesn't like the pictures and comments, why has he not put a stop to it? That is the major problem you have, not the woman.

As for apologizing to her, why not? It takes class to humble one's self and "I'm sorry" reflects that.

Why is my name on here

All the best
If you have it, you have it. If you don't have it then. . . . . . .?
If she's worth it, she's worth it. If she's not worth it then . . . . .?

If it sounds too good to be true, it usually is too good to be true
Many have ingested all manner of toxins leading to organ failure and even death, all in the name of magic weight loss formulas
The ingredients of this product should be listed here
When it comes to health, transparency is important

62 years old?
Baby?
Miracles happen but I still wish we could hear from her Doctors

MissCokie:
Then what's the concept of feminism, if not to conquer the male gender?. Please look beyond your nose.

"look beyond your nose" Really? That is how you talk to address a person asking you a valid question?
Best wishes, I don't do gutter and I won't be reading anything else you write. Have a great weekend!

OP

MissCokie:

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Chimamanda Adichi wrong misconception of feminism is like a dangerous venom to the rising of African young girls.

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Chimamanda Adichie is married , living happily in a home structured with bright futures for herself and her children. But she has chosen to set other African girls on bound-age and endless blindness to the implications of misunderstanding the actual concept of feminism.

The world in general is in a developing position, and Africa is the least of them all. The wrong impact of knowledge into our girls would only endeavor that they remain single for eternity, while she is enjoying the bliss of marriage.

The wrongful ideas about feminism has really eaten deep into the brain of the African girl child, and she has accepted that a man is equal to a woman, therefore she is free to act like a man, work like a man, and be like a man. Whereby the actual program is for her to be a woman and remain a woman.

In few years to come, Africa would be filled with single African girls spending endless night in churches and mosque praying for a husband to come their way.

Please, the concept of liberating the girl child has being misused, by the so called intellectual elite, and instead of Librating the girl child, they are indirectly and directly endangering the girl child.

Please Africans , let's see beyond our nose, think beyond our brain, and make the right decision. Chimamanda Adichie's and others feminist theory won't save the girl child.

Is this perceived "wrong concept of feminism" because "she is free to act like a man, work like a man, and be like a man?"
No offence but I am struggling to understand the post.

There are so many different concepts of feminism. In its simplest form, I understand it to be female empowerment and no, I do not consider myself to be inferior to any male by virtue of gender nor do I believe it to be a conquering of, or war with males.

What this section really needs is one good HAPPILY MARRIED husband that can testify to marrying for love without regrets and having a spouse that he trusts completely, even in the weighty matter of finance. It takes spending time to assess compatibility during courtship.

As a couple, all of our assets and liabilities are joint even though right now, I only make half of what he makes. The disparity in our incomes has varied through the years with him making more but never once has there been a suggestion of this allotment of accounts. There are no "private accounts" we sink or swim together. Frankly, he has no interest in being the one managing the finances, it's just an added burden.

Before we got married, we each had our individual salary accounts but even then, we mentally pooled our money together and planned with it. Financial autonomy in marriage is over-rated. Ask my husband and he would tell you that peace of mind is at the top of his list. He probably has more peace than I do because he doesn't worry his head about what is happening to the money. I am the one that has to add and subtract and decide what goes where. Sometimes I ask for his input but often don't. Nobody is siphoning money to other people or secret projects.

We are one INDEED not just what the marriage certificate states.

Epistle looming LOL I will stop now. . . . .

braunstrowman:


Gone are the days, when a woman will see her husband and she will submit to him and to his instructions wholeheartedly but not days again.

Even the Bible says wife should be submissive to her husband.
Ephesians 5:22-33 New International Version (NIV)
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

A man will give simple instructions to his wife or girlfriend they will still find it hard to obey him or listen to his instructions.

Amaka don't do this! She will still do that.

Mama Emeka shut up when I'm talking! She will talk 50 times before the man will say two statement.

Ma victor you didn't wash my clothes! Do I look like your house maid.

You girls should be respectful and obedient to your husband or boyfriend

Cc Lalasticlala dominique

Posts like this are the reason why Naija women need to do more to resist autocrats in dating before they end up in marriage. I wish the Naija men whose "loud, disrespectful" wives have aided their development would talk more so ignorant posts like this do not propagate such embarrassing nonsense.

Marriage is a partnership not a servant-master relationship. Having an opinion does not = disrespect

OP's original posts were confusing. Bottomline is you can't afford to feed them at the level they desire. The simple solution is to have your wife communicate that. "I cannot afford it" should not be a hard thing to say. You went on about dishing food from same pot your food comes from, etc and that just clouded your main point which is - you are financially challenged at this time and cannot afford the extra mouths. That is not a crime and it should not be hard for your wife to communicate to her siblings.

If she feels badly about it, maybe that can motivate both of you to ensure your wife finds work.

sisisioge:
Wowzerful...you and that husband of yours sounds so enlightened. Groovy!

Enlightened? LOL sometimes I can be. Other times, other things, I am a traditional dragon