₦airaland Forum

ziccoit: People just like to make blanket assumption.

How do you know @op? Who has carried out this study?

Sir !, how many things are we going to research ?
May be we will conduct studies on 'sun-setting in the West' ; 'SSS is better than DMI/NPF' ; 'Islam is more practised by the Yorubas' etc.
Bottomline is that it is the truth.
I, myself - wey no sabi nothing about relationship nor Love things, know & have observed that more love relationship crashes during 'ember season.

@ OP,
The reason is not far-fetched.
It is a truth validating another truth - that our femalefolks of this generation are highly monetarily-motivated & materialistic ( apologies to my sisters & mothers in the house ).
They are usually the ones calling the relationship off during this period.

REASON :
Everywhere in the world, 'ember season is a celebration, spendthrift, bragging season.
People who have worked all through the year will sit down and treat themselves to some hedonism.
They take vacations, holidays in their cars & spend.
In the excesses of all these, the greedy females / some shallow ones / feebleminded or weakwilled ladies are swooned off their 'head', and in their thinking they have discovered a better / greener pasture, they dump the old one.

For some of us who admitted here that you met your wifeys this period, did you meet them single?
Are we sure your meat was not some guy's poison?


The good aspect of this truth is that a lot of other on-going relationships are also well cemented for all same reasons.
Afterall, it is being well said that ' there is no romance without finance '

kulyie: you make it seem like the only reason for marriage is sex and children and you make it seem like thats the only thing women have to offer.what the hell is wrong wit u men that you lack self control like this

Apart from companionship, what kind of benefits will a couple gain mutually ?
God said they should help each other!
But they have almost the same body parts e.g 1 head for 1 head, 2 legs for 2 legs, 2 eyes for 2 eyes!
The only thing that distinctly differs in both is the Instruments/pudenda & breast-tissues!
Does that not tell us that we are probably going to complement each other more in that aspect?
Why then are we now suppose to be interminably living an ascetic self-restraining life only when sex is involved?

Don't feel insulted pls!

@ OP,
E plenty die !!!

* Wearing an uninteresting/bland countenance
* Avoiding to make eye-contacts
* In case you make eye-contacts, promptly evading your gaze & just go your way "jeje"-ly
* Refuse to give attention
* Dresscode resembling that of majority of those our brothers & sisters attending DLBC ( Pls, my brethren in the Lord, no offence was intended & don't be irked )
* Sounding boring & monotonous/shallow verbal responses
* Live as if you are a diehard struggler i.e don't let no-one know how much dough you own!

NB
You may do all these & yet some fellas will still 'gel' for you. You should know by then that such people are either :
* Looking desperately for something you have ;
* Are in some crazy / twisted/ obsessional love (you had better started praying)
* Trying to sell bad market e.g securing a paternity for an unplanned mistaken pregnancy, over-marriageable age etc
OR, Lastly
* They have seen through you & they really love your person, personality & you fit their 'odd' love-map!!!

Rocktation: Oh thanks!
Cool moniker by the way. I did like their Survival of the fittest.

Oh!, thanks too.
Actually, I listen to all genres & I think I'm an audiophile.
The duo happen to hold sway "Naughty by Nature" & "The Wutang Clan" as my best rappers in terms of fluidity, flows & rhymes.
"Survival of the fittest" was not even their best!
You need to sample their
"Hell on earth",
"Deadly Zone (from the OST Blade Trilogy Ft. Bounty Killers)" &
"I'm going out (Ft. Lil' Cease)".

I won't like to derail the thread.

daylae: I believe music is rock n rock is music. I dont joke with these gospel rock bands: third day,jars of clay,switchfoot,tenth avenue north,fray etc.

Also luv hoobastank,3 doors down,nickelback,and blink182.

The tone & timbre of the Third Day's lead-singer (Mac Powell) is something else.
Aaaah!, na die.

TouchDown: Surprised no one has mentioned THE KILLERS! That's my favourite rock band. Then I find soft rock coming from THE FRAY, ONE REPUBLIC and MAROON 5 cool too. I once gambled on a MARILYN MANSON cd and it wasn't half bad at all. I'm quite limited when it comes to Rock because I'm more of a hip-hop person.

Thanks my brother.
Currently, they ( The Killers - King of the Indie Rocks ) are my best.
The day I respected them was the day the guest presenter/anchorman on an MTV Talk-Show featured Greenday & asked them who they respect most & they replied 'The Killers'. Their best track was "Bones" by "The Killers".
No artist has been able to use electronic-guitars like those guys.
What "Linkin Park" used electronic-guitar do for "What I've done" & "New Divide" from the "OST The Transformers" is just a tip of the iceberg compared to these guys.
You just need to listen to :
* "Smile like you mean it"
* "Jenny was a friend of mine"
* "On top"

Other great groups no-one mentioned was
*Blue-October
*Good Charlotte
*Simple Plan (You need to listen to their "Addicted"
*12 Stones
*Staind

trent9002: Nirvana. I miss Cobain

Read he attempted & completed suicide!
Have not heard none of their hit songs.
The group is one of the standards used as yardsticks in determining the place of new artists or rate known ones.
They must be that good.
He was said to be specifically highly talented.

Rocktation: I breathe it!
I've No favorite band, buh I have a favorite sub-genre- Heavy Metal. I do System of a Down, Metallica, Chivelle, Paying On Debt, Iron Maiden, Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath...and on like dat...

Chevelle
I adore females who rock.
You ain't even a soft-rocker but a heavy one!
Kudos.

pDude: I prefer Hard rock and Grunge rock.

I love Alter Bridge, Creed, Breaking Benjamin: they are all Hard Rock.

Puddle of Mudd is my best rock group cos they sound a bit like Nirvana.

And did I mention that I also play the guitar, rock style

I guess you know that Alter-Bridge is same as Creed minus their Lead-Singer/Vocalist i.e Scott Stapp

drnoel: Na wah 2 u ooh. A man that refuses his wife's food, do u think he would be interested in her ass. Sorry for u and am sure u don't know but men are not low lives like some people here..
Besides what of women that refuse to cook once they have a misunderstanding with their spouse.
Anyway, didn't know women hated it, good I don dey learn..

You think say the curse God placed on the womanhood in the biblical Adamic creation story was a joke!
A woman's heart or prime desire has always been to be fond of. That's their greatest desire while that of man is success, accomplishment & wealth.
Nothing pains a woman like an act of rejection or the feeling of her not wanted.
Tell me, how else more do you want a woman to interpret rejection when you refuse her meal ?

In fact, one of the ways to know if your wife loves you deeply & unconditionally is her reaction when you shun her meal. No concern, worry or show of emotion most likely means she is just managing you & she is not into you.
Some may just be forming some kind yeye defensive mechanism.

niyitogun: The best thing is actually to settle issues before they escalate if you really take your partners feelings paramount....but if they do escalate and am not at fault, the worst case scenario would be to enter the kitchen and cook for myself (even when guest are around) or to buy fast food if am too tired to cook...

Sir !, but you never marry now!!!

Ayee Idris: That's my husband M.O. It drives so mad when he refuses to eat after a disagreement. This is someone that loves to eat. Unfortunately for me, i have not reached the mindset where his refusal to eat doesn't bother me cos i worry about him, and i really hate to waste food.i wish we could just fight without the food rejection. Gats to settle with him so he can eat. I may have set a bad precedence by always ending the fight when he enters his hunger mode, but he is like my first born child. His health comes b4 my pride. Always thought it was peculiar to my hubby but i guess its a guy thing.

Why would you say it is a bad move to initiate reconciliation especially when your husband expresses his displeasure using the commonest instintive habit of men - refusal to eat ?
You didn't lose nothing.
You rather gained/subtlely won. To me, you are the one in control.
Watch him well, when you 'bow', haven't you noticed that he responds with unusual intense affectionate fervour & overtures?
Nothing subdues or soften the ego of a man than the humility and tenderness shown by a woman to let go especially when it comes to issues of misunderstanding or disagreements! That is the real definition of submissiveness as against docility.
You are blessed.

plendil: Wow! this is beautiful. Hubby must be very lucky to have you.

You can say that again to this rare amazing woman.

For our interesting OP, leave her to her game of playing the devil's advocate.
She & her likes know the truth.

donofdons: [size=18pt]my family was used as a template for that write up......my father wrote the book...i am happy my dead father is still well appriciated . Remain blessed all of you.. You guys made my day[/size]

Are you for real brother !!!?
I read the the NOEC series (New Oxford English Course).
I can vividly recollect these interesting stories which interestingly changed my views & behaviours about life :
* Mr & Mrs Bako and family which taught me lessons about conversational skills & family ideals
* Do it yourself (story about the bird shelving its responsibility)
* The wise but poor farmer & the King
* Ali, the angels & the invisible cloak
* The animals visiting the lion with the tortoise seeing footprints going into the den but none coming out

In fact, una go wound me if I should reel the plenty stories.

Kudos to all in the house who read same book

realsammie: i pity my Ex's future husband.

Hmm !!!, nawa ooo.
Pity guys now

@ Daviddylan, what happened?
You were not seen again!
You got tired, busy or started selecting threads for comment since, I quite agree that, not all the threads these days are worth commenting on?
I think I started asking few NLders, who are a bit familiar with you, questions about you.
Welcome sir.

@Kobojunkie,
Never knew you were one.
Good to know you have, though arguably, the best personality.


@ All,
I'm so sorry to have left this lovely thread.

I guessed we didn't start ripping apart the issues well.
We need to understand the background from which the malice is stemming from.
For one, malice can stem from show of power or control.
It could be as a result of immaturity as many of you put it.
In the case of the melancholics, I'm so sure it is not of the 2 reasons above but because of severely bruised ego.
We simply withdraw to our cocoons and shut-off, whereas the other personalities will either vent their displeasure in serious aggressions in terms of fight or plot vengeance.
The truth is that you must have pushed your luck too far before you see a melancholic responding with a lasting malice.
The few times I kept malice, what the people did was just too bad & some people could have killed the offender in response.
We can go any length in mortifying ourselves to gratify others or make them happy. We make unbelievable self-sacrifices & I think Jesus & Apostle Paul must have been melancholics !! (Hoping my yansh won't be fried !)
The funny thing is that we are happy doing these but people sometimes take us for ride.
Now, you tell me which one do you prefer in the event of response to being pushed too far, someone who shuts-off or who start waging physical war?
Someone posted before that you hardly find physical abuser among melancholics & it is the truth.

Of course, there has to be a limit to the malice as a reaction.

My post was in response to the malice in the context of personality trait and not the one of power/control show or immaturity display.
We won't be found in the tussle of power-dragging.

I giggled at some responses here especially that of Mondi Cheeks.
Interesting issue we got here

@ Papido & Greatgod2012,
I guess you probably have this problem itself or your jobs entail typing human behaviours. That is the only way you could have been so close to the answer.
I used to have this problem & I could remember vividly keeping malice with my kid-sister within same house for more than more 1 year.
Many a people underestimate the power personality plays!
Some respondents were saying it is an immaturity feature- hell no!!!, it is just a smirk & weakness in the character which if uncheck can fester to wreck serious havocs, just as other humans are not perfect.

@ OP,
If you are serious, just follow the counsel of 'greatgod2012' & Papido. They nailed the topic perfectly.

@Kobojunkie,
While you understands us well, you appeared to misconstrue us when you said it is a sign that we don't want to grow-up. That's not totally true.
Afterall, learning is an interminable process. It never ends. We keep learning to modify & tame this habit, but since it is a manifestation of the core-traits, even in the most-matured & deeply-insighted Melancholics, the ugliness is bound to rear its head occasionally/rarely.

angelz: He is wonderful with d kids. When he hears his son's cry in d night, he wakes up n cuddle him, even when he's very tired.
When am tired or not feelin 2 well, l dont need 2 ask b4 he does all d domestics, evn d 1's l dont plan doin dat day.

You've got a soul-mate, helpmeet & companion sister.
Please, appreciate him back.
God bless him.
Tell him someone cherishes him.
That was the original purpose of relationship.

Una no go wound me with laughter from crossfire of 'yabis'.
From Freecocoa's lampoon of shoe to the intercourse between Siena, Etumgbe, CrazyMan et cetera.
@ OP, kudos to you for your ingenuity & benevolence.
Thank God too say dem never touch your land.
Well-done.

yuzedo: ANYBODY that'll gimme punny.........

May Papa God deliver this my bros from the issues of punnies.

Lastly, at same age 4yrs :
I fell ill & was placed on hospital admission at Staff-Schl Health-Centre, Ondo-State College of Education,Ikere-Ekiti where I spent 4 days.
On my 2nd day of admission, the best teacher I have ever met & who perhaps awakened in me the unquenchable thirst & zeal for knowledge - Mrs Archampong a Ghanian, came visiting me at the hospital with 3 bottles of Fanta, handmade pastries & cards.
She went back to Ghana the early part of the following year i.e 1989.
My eyeballs are misty & swelly as I'm writing this.
I get too emotional.
I have searched for her but I can't get her.
May God bless her being

Another chiller :
@ age 4yrs plus,
My parents then usually go to farm every spare/free Saturday.
While both were at farmwork, I was left to roam on my own.
Unbeknown to my parents, I went under one gigantic shade-providing Cherry-Plum tree.
Lo & behold, there was this massive snake (looked like Python or Boa-Constrictor using hindsight & power of retrospection). It was coiled on its rear into a roundish barrel-shaped mass with its head placed resting on the whole mass.
I started playing with this snake up till the point where I started touching & rubbing its glistening dark auburn-coloured head.
My parents will intermittently call out to me & I will go see them only to come back to complete my reckless but innocent nonsense.
I didn't tell anyone this till date.

Who says children don't have memory?
I guess their memory is so sharp & precise that Nature leverage it with immature/developing language & speech ability.


@ Topic,

@ Age 3yrs :
My mum took me to hometown for holiday & occasionally took me to my paternal grannie.
On one of such occasion, I saw my dad for the 1st time & he took me on a journey from morning till evening round the old Ondo-State countryside in his 504 saloon of blessed memory.
We came back to meet my grannie who spoilt us to the meal of a unique traditionally-flavoured locally prepared dish of pounded-yam with Ground-Squirrel meat (my father's favourite flesh).
What a memory!!!



@ Age 4yrs :

* In a dream, one elderly & funny-looking woman came to me with a fairly large blue-bowl in her hand & she forcefully ordered me to take the bowl.
As I was receiving the bowl in trepidation, I started behaving mad while she was laughing like 'Hades' of 'Red-Mosquitoes'.
After a mo of madness, I suddenly regained my senses & I, in return, audaciously handed her back the bowl, and then she started dancing weirdly as if mad.
Then I woke up.
As small as I reach then, I could remember that I was drenched in heavy perspiration.
I have never told anyone this until today. Maybe I'll tell my better-half one day.


* I recollected the memories of me 3 plus-yrs & my less than 1yr half-brother as we were being taken care of by the elderly babysitter/nanny.
Around 12noon, she usually tries feeding us. When my half-brother infant refuses to eat, she will resort to force-feeding.
I'll then start crying for my brother and start fighting the woman with my feeble kicks & fists, while the woman laughs away cheerily at my folly.
Despite my plan that I'll try showing some token of appreciation to the nanny for her benevolence & servitude, she passed away some years ago.
I used to remember how sad & lonely I felt at the nanny's place as environment was serene especially around that 10-12am
When my mum is preparing to take us to her, I used to dread the gruel experience I will pass through each blessed day but I didn't know how to tell my mum or step-dad. By the way,I reason that if I tell them, what will they do?
I remembered how I used to feel the slowness & the seeming static sense/awareness of time-passage.
In fact, im don tay wey I don dey suffer emotional turmoil.
Please, young children can be emotional.

kay dibs: That's very sad!


@op don't remember my age but I was in transition( d last class in nursery skl b4 pri 1) wen my news came that my bestfriend then Pamela had fallen into a well and drowned. I didn't get it at first all I knew was she stopped coming to skl so I asked my mistress and she told me Pamela won't be coming to skl again cz she is now with God. I got home nd told mom I want to go be wt God too. Infact I rem wailing seriously cZ she told me to keep quiet. At a time I wasn't even crying abt her death, I was crying cz she's wt God and I'm not cz bk then we were rly close her mom use to even drop her off to play in my house every saturday. RIP Pamela

Sorry about that too.
Children have gotten quite a big heart.

afam4eva: 5 years: We lived in a village called Elimgbu in Port-hacourt...I remember playing football with my friends of similar age in a compound just beside the road and someone played the ball to the road and a particular guy had to go and pick the ball only to be knocked down by a car. His mother stood beside the road pitying for whoever owned this kid that had just been killed by a car not realizing that it was her child. Till today, i don't know whether they knew that he was going to pick a ball and that we were the ones playing with him when it happened. Anyways RIP Avis.

Too sad !!!
Harrowing memory that will stay with its owner till he/she enters grave!
Sorry about that sir.

18wheeler: TudunWada, jos. I was 3yrs old. There was this dog(Bingo) in my house I was so fond of. We ran round d house 2geda. It died and the carcass was taken to a stream for disposal. I remember crying and refusing to go back home until my coursin carried me off.

You got me moved there & I almost shed tears.
You've gotten a heart.
Thanks.

I wonder how & why someone will lay claim to another's sweat/hard-earned cash.
Small time, if you ask what attracts them in others, they will open their oral appendage saying the fear of God as if they have it.
I pity those who think crude-revolution can remedy the situation of this country. Taaa!!!, we will just end up creating space for the more corrupt & greedier folks.
Can we imagine!, what's 30k? Some people without even seeing the client involved, on this forum, did transaction worth 10 folds of 30k & yet delivered.
If this claim is true, the justice of Lord surely will come at the appointed time. It is a pity that, then, we will be the one mourning & asking God on his behalf why him.