₦airaland Forum

GraGra247:
Sometimes I do but it's no good cos you make the child happy and you buy her things and she returns home and next you see her she's traumatized by beatings with marks on the body and she doesn't want to connect with me because she's depressed.

I'm a strong man inside but sometimes I weep deep in my soul because of this.

I think awareness has to be created on print and social media on regular basis till people realize this is wrong.

If the western world can achieve this, I think we can someday if we persist.

Hmmn, so sad, alright, I think we can work together, Please kindly chat me through the link on my signature

GraGra247:
Kudos cos you spoke my mind on this matter. The menace of domestic violence and battery on minors in homes is one that people do not take seriously because just about everyone does it.

I was disgusted by the recent video of a woman unleashing terror on her son while he begged her to "calm down".

People hailed the child as intelligent and nobody called out the woman for abuse and she wasn't arrested or questioned till date. In developed countries she would've lost custody of that child.

I have neighbors that always torment and maltreat their househelp and children on regular agonizing basis.

I couldn't report this to the landlord or anyone else cos it was obvious that all of them do it and even encourage each other to keep up with it because it's child training supposedly.

I can't go to the police because I would make my landlord and all my neighbors my very enemies and they will either gang up and kill me or even evict me(they're that powerful and connected).

Besides the police you report to is likely doing the same thing in their homes because most police officers are very brutal including in their homes.

Hmmn, what can we do about this situation?
Is it possible you talk to the child? Just to give her some hope and encouragement

SEGLIZ:
it is so disheartening how the weaker one are being abused daily. husband and wife molesting the children their partners brought from their previous relationship.
relatives abusing dependant relatives taking refuge with as a result of one circumstance of the other. people molesting their maid or male servants.
my wife told me of a client she went to offer a service to at her resident three days ago. it is unworthy the way the woman and her children treated the little girl serving as their maid.
the daughter was busy using her mums laptop for her online class, when the mother demanded for the laptop as she was returning to work. the maid was ask to fetch the bag but could find, coming back to the girl saying 'you brought it out of the bag so you should know where you left.' she came after the maid hauling insult and curses, can't quote her but I remember my wife saying she used the word hopeless, useless.
she confirmed the mother attacking the girl in same manner. the said client got confused on which attire to use, the maid innocently suggesting to the woman on what might be the best outfit the event got attacked by the same daughter. she went as far as telling her mom to make sure deal with the maid on those happenings.
this is how evil and degraded our society has became.

We live in a society that no one stands for the weak

Hm

SEGLIZ:
#STANDUPFORTHEWEAK
#THEWEAKLIFEMATTERS
#STOPBEINGABULLY

Exactly bros

Carinaflo:
Do not take her back. A girlfriend that has the mind to maltreat the boyfriends teenage neice would definitely stop her mother-in-law from visiting her house when she becomes a wife.

Female teenagers love to make friends with female adults, it makes them feel like "big girls" , I am so sure your little niece really wanted to be friends with your girlfriend but the wickedness in your girlfriend would not allow her treat the little girl nicely.

If your girlfriend can not be friends with your little niece, I am scared of what she would do to your mom when she becomes your wife.

I agree

Ayemileto:
You mean typing that kind of post will take you "hours"?

So, how many hours did it take you to construct your opening post?

Its somehow long ni, thats why I asked. Mine isn't long, you really took your time to write something extremely meaningful o

Ayemileto:
Lol.

1. They shouldn't even be living together, talkless of the Girlfriend doing all his house chores. The fact that the girlfriend have been doing all house chores before the niece comes around is a sign she's probably unproductive.

No productive lady will be living with a guy she's not married to and doing all his house chores for him.

The fact that she's unproductive can also be seen in the fact that she has lots of time in her hand to monitor the niece.


2. Just the way the girlfriend knocked his niece's head, he also beat up the girlfriend.

Like someone stated on that thread, there's a simple pattern here, the STRONG ALWAYS PREY ON THE WEAK!!!

He could have asked her to move out immediately, but he decided to beat her instead.

3. Contrary to that post where the OP said that all marriage plans were suspended, I'm 100 percent sure there was never a marriage plan at all. They are still in the BF/GF stage, Not fiancee, talkless of marriage.

There's even 50 percent chances the OP have never introduced the lady to his mother.

That OP only said he's suspending marriage plans, so it will look like he's a strong man.


4. That OP won't send that lady away. And you can deduce that in the sense that he hasn't sent her away when he made that thread. Instead he waited for hours, and then took her to a hospital for treatment.

By the time she gets fully healed (like that OP is waiting for), his anger would have cooled off, and he'll go and apologize to her instead of driving her out.

This is because:

1. it's less easier to drive her out when he's no longer angry.

2. He's feeling guilty and remorseful for beating her. While it's good to feel remorseful, it can be used against him. Because people with a soft heart are usually easily manipulated, and are often indecisive.

3. The only reason anyone will date an unproductive lady - like that OP is doing - is because of a unique character such 'lady" posses, that's difficult to find in most other ladies. One of this character, in that OP's case, is the lady acting more like his house help. Taking responsibility to do all house chores - which many ladies won't bother doing today.

And except he get another "slave" to take up those responsibilities, and fill up most of the gap the lady will be leaving, he won't have the balls to kick her out, and his attempts to do so will be half hearted.


Even if he drives her out, he will still take her back if she comes back begging, because he will miss his "'slave". Except, he gets another one.

---

While the action will help her confidence, contrary to this statement, she won't use the confidence to pursue any dream of her choice.

Rather, she will get disrespectful and always look for trouble knowing fully well that her uncle will always beat up whoever touches her.

This can be seen quite well among little children, when a young child is fighting with someone older, and you beat the older one alone without scolding the younger one, the younger one will feel empowered and always look for trouble, knowing fully well that you'll always defend him.


It would have been better if that OP have driven the lady out immediately, but he beat her up in the presence of the Niece instead, and she witnessed everything and got a new found joy seeing her enemy get battered.


Just watch as she'll completely disregard any lady that becomes That Ops girlfriend.

To summarise the entire post, that OP made that post in order to look like a strong man, and many people fell for it.

But in the real sense, he's just like many other men.

How many hours did it take you to finish this post?

IfeOlala:
Good Day All

I am one of the ITA clinchers of today !!!

I am filling my e-APR form and I have a question as I am using a gift deed as POF.

Before exchange rate matters, the gift deed totally covered the POF but as of today and the exchange rate on CIC website, it just covers 96%.

I plan to add the remaining 5% on my own as I do small business here and there but I need to know if the VO will ask where the 4% (abt 150k) is coming from and ask for supporting docs OR whether they will not be bothered since it is a small amnt compared to the total value?

Thank you

Can we do it together please? I'm looking for a partner and I'm not in any group

AlbertaPikin:
good evening guys..
and congrats to the ITA-clincher.

while uploading my documents, can i use a statement of result in the education section.

my certificate isnt out yet

Please what other things is needed?

Stand up for the weak

ModestGal:
I created this thread due to a thread I read on first page about a girlfriend and her bf niece.

https://www.nairaland.com/6035210/cancelling-all-marriage-plans-because

First of all, I want to commend Anigreat for taking such action (not beating her that way), but for standing up for the weak. Many atimes we have men, friends, neighbours, family members who would watch and keep quiet when all these evil people maltreat their maids, or a relative living with them. If you keep quiet in situations of injustice and oppression, you have joined the oppressor in one way or the other.
Just like we watched the police officers there with Chauvin charged for watching murderer and not doing anything (George Floyd's case).

People watching evils being perpetrated beside them and keeping quiet are not too different from the perpetrators, they should all be charged to court and punished by law altogether. Personally, I hate these kind of people very much (especially men that watch their wives maltreat maids and relatives).

Going back to Anigreat case, the little girl would feel empowered seeing the action of her uncle, and the smile on her face ehn. That would really help her confidence in life and she would feel happy to pursue any dream of her choice. What you did has a long way of helping the little girl take right decisions in her life. But you need to tell and explain to her that your action was wrong, and that hitting another human being is wrong, tell her you will be going to psychologist to treat yourself so she would understand how bad it is to beat someone like you did. Then explain to her how much you love her that you won't even allow an insect to bite her.

Now, back to your evil girlfriend, she has no right whatsoever to send the girl any errand or to lay her evil hands on the innocent sweet girl;

1. She's a visitor, a visitor should be treated with respect and love.

2. She has no right to starve her or anyone, it confirms she's evil. Children should not be to tourtured with foods, its a stupid way of disciplining a child, it makes children to attach unnecessary importance to food and could either lead to anorexia nervosa or binge eating. Could lead to any of the psychological food problems. There are other healthy ways to discipline a child that doesn't involve damaging the child's mentally in any way.

3. The little girl is her ''mother in law'' as we call it in Yorubaland, and she deserves respect. Wives/girlfriend kneels for those people, while I do not agree with the kneeling and rubbish respect, we usually play with kids/children in our husband/boyfriends houses by calling them ''iya Oko'' and treating them like Queens. So for your useless girlfriend to have the audacity to disrespect her sister in-law, it means she's evil.

4. The girl is a teenager. Teenagers are people with unstable funny behaviour and as adults, we need to be extremely patient with them and guide them well, because at that stage, they form behaviours for thier adulthood

5. The girl is an Orphan for goodness sake, that should make a human being pity her and treat her with care, so she won't feel her parents absence, (even though many children who never had parents do not miss them, I'm sure your niece won't miss her parents because she never met them and she's staying with grandma who would have spoilt her), humans are defaulted to think otherwise and treat such people with care and fear that any bad treatment could remind them of their parents loss. But, unfortunately, your girlfriend is not one

6. She's a girlfriend not yet a wife and she's feeling herself this much.

7. The little teen, escaped her grandmother's errands to spend some time with you, in her mind, she wants to enjoy some freedom, she wants to take a break from her grandmother's calling her every 10minutes to do this and that, she has found an escape from all the house chores, she's happy there's Corona Holiday, she wants to come and enjoy with her uncle, she's already planning how she would gist her friends when she's back, and yet your evil girlfriend want to make her holiday boring with house chores.

Teens like her like making adult friends, and I'm sure she would have loved to be friends with your girlfriend if not that she's evil, and I'm sure she would turn that love for her to pure hatred (that's what teens do).

@Anigreat please get a new girlfriend that your niece would be able to gist with, and play with because thats what she came to do with you in Uyo, and who she would complain about her grandma to. That's what teens do, complain and complain, that's what makes them teens. And they are very prone to mistakes, they just need someone to understand them and someone they can trust. (Teens are so sweet when you listen to them)
Also, don't forget to take her out to see different places and always allow her to talk and express her feelings.

Finally, I created this thread to remind you not to ever take your girlfriend back, because some comments on the thread said, you will still take her back. Well, that is if everything you said is true, don't take that evil witch back no matter how much she begs you, but first, you need to apologize to her for the beatings, but please don't marry her, she would do worse when she becomes a wife. And also, tell her to go for a mental check up and treatment, so she doesn't spend the rest of her life in jail after abusing another person

@Anigreat

Lets stand up for the weak
Abuse is illegal

...

..

ModestGal:
I created this thread due to a thread I read on first page about a girlfriend and her bf niece.

https://www.nairaland.com/6035210/cancelling-all-marriage-plans-because

First of all, I want to commend Anigreat for taking such action (not beating her that way), but for standing up for the weak. Many atimes we have men, friends, neighbours, family members who would watch and keep quiet when all these evil people maltreat their maids, or a relative living with them. If you keep quiet in situations of injustice and oppression, you have joined the oppressor in one way or the other.
Just like we watched the police officers there with Chauvin charged for watching murderer and not doing anything (George Floyd's case).

People watching evils being perpetrated beside them and keeping quiet are not too different from the perpetrators, they should all be charged to court and punished by law altogether. Personally, I hate these kind of people very much (especially men that watch their wives maltreat maids and relatives).

Going back to Anigreat case, the little girl would feel empowered seeing the action of her uncle, and the smile on her face ehn. That would really help her confidence in life and she would feel happy to pursue any dream of her choice. What you did has a long way of helping the little girl take right decisions in her life. But you need to tell and explain to her that your action was wrong, and that hitting another human being is wrong, tell her you will be going to psychologist to treat yourself so she would understand how bad it is to beat someone like you did. Then explain to her how much you love her that you won't even allow an insect to bite her.

Now, back to your evil girlfriend, she has no right whatsoever to send the girl any errand or to lay her evil hands on the innocent sweet girl;

1. She's a visitor, a visitor should be treated with respect and love.

2. She has no right to starve her or anyone, it confirms she's evil. Children should not be to tourtured with foods, its a stupid way of disciplining a child, it makes children to attach unnecessary importance to food and could either lead to anorexia nervosa or binge eating. Could lead to any of the psychological food problems. There are other healthy ways to discipline a child that doesn't involve damaging the child's mentally in any way.

3. The little girl is her ''mother in law'' as we call it in Yorubaland, and she deserves respect. Wives/girlfriend kneels for those people, while I do not agree with the kneeling and rubbish respect, we usually play with kids/children in our husband/boyfriends houses by calling them ''iya Oko'' and treating them like Queens. So for your useless girlfriend to have the audacity to disrespect her sister in-law, it means she's evil.

4. The girl is a teenager. Teenagers are people with unstable funny behaviour and as adults, we need to be extremely patient with them and guide them well, because at that stage, they form behaviours for thier adulthood

5. The girl is an Orphan for goodness sake, that should make a human being pity her and treat her with care, so she won't feel her parents absence, (even though many children who never had parents do not miss them, I'm sure your niece won't miss her parents because she never met them and she's staying with grandma who would have spoilt her), humans are defaulted to think otherwise and treat such people with care and fear that any bad treatment could remind them of their parents loss. But, unfortunately, your girlfriend is not one

6. She's a girlfriend not yet a wife and she's feeling herself this much.

7. The little teen, escaped her grandmother's errands to spend some time with you, in her mind, she wants to enjoy some freedom, she wants to take a break from her grandmother's calling her every 10minutes to do this and that, she has found an escape from all the house chores, she's happy there's Corona Holiday, she wants to come and enjoy with her uncle, she's already planning how she would gist her friends when she's back, and yet your evil girlfriend want to make her holiday boring with house chores.

Teens like her like making adult friends, and I'm sure she would have loved to be friends with your girlfriend if not that she's evil, and I'm sure she would turn that love for her to pure hatred (that's what teens do).

@Anigreat please get a new girlfriend that your niece would be able to gist with, and play with because thats what she came to do with you in Uyo, and who she would complain about her grandma to. That's what teens do, complain and complain, that's what makes them teens. And they are very prone to mistakes, they just need someone to understand them and someone they can trust. (Teens are so sweet when you listen to them)
Also, don't forget to take her out to see different places and always allow her to talk and express her feelings.

Finally, I created this thread to remind you not to ever take your girlfriend back, because some comments on the thread said, you will still take her back. Well, that is if everything you said is true, don't take that evil witch back no matter how much she begs you, but first, you need to apologize to her for the beatings, but please don't marry her, she would do worse when she becomes a wife. And also, tell her to go for a mental check up and treatment, so she doesn't spend the rest of her life in jail after abusing another person

@Anigreat

Please do not abuse children or allow maltreat happen in your presence

Sixfeetbelle:
Define the "beating" and compare it with what Op did.

.
Well, she's doing more hurt beating a minor who is an Orphan. She would damage the already shaking self esteem, and might make the teen depressed. Those pains are heavier than the physical beating the op gave her which I do not agree with.
But in this case, she hurts more

Sixfeetbelle:
Be critical and accept that the Op was excessive. A knock doesn't equal beating someone in such a way that they'll require going to a hospital. He even said he wasn't diplomatic in his action. He's dangerous even if he thought he had the best of intentions.

I agree,but for beating a minor, she deserves to rot in jail. Useless girlfriend

Well, that idiot girlfriend of yours is a disgrace to womanhood. I hope she rots in hell. Useless she goat, I'm so angry at her. But the beating is not right, you need to apologize and go for anger management classes

tmny01:
Most post ITA folks are already tired of checking their mails daily since COVID happened. All of us don calm down by force. You will be fine, don't worry.

How?

Mamaroon:
Congrats ITAians!
A hard fought battle!!

Please calmly prepare docs and submit your applications. Please study the following even more than NL page 1 (some info there has been superseded by events), anything else is 3rd party gist:

www.canada.ca
www.cic.gc.ca

Bon courage to all those still waiting !!!

What should we do there please?

wisdomline:
Hello,

First, I believe you. I do not have any reasons to doubt you any ways.

Second, I need for you and everyone advising you to understand that INFATUATION is an intense, but short-lived passion or admiration for someone or something. Often, it leads to strange, but dramatic desire to take advantage of the subject. According to you, it does not seem any of these persons wanted to take advantage of you sexually or otherwise.

Also, you did mention how one professor flung your defense papers due to the same reason. This is where I got confused. Would you say, some time, people who got infatuated towards you wanted sex or sought to take undue advantage of you? If not affirmative, I would consider the strange feeling to be pure PLATONIC friendship. The only thing the person desires is, perhaps, reciprocation, mutual respect and admiration.

MY ADVICE:
- You need to reciprocate their gestures because, according to you, it does not seem it would stop any time soon.

- You need to keep such relationship as mutual as possible.

- If possible, do not go too close to them or avoid such persons altogether.

- Where the preceding is not possible, work on yourself to develop certain soft skills such as strong listening skills, strong tolerance, empathy, among others.

- Avoid unhealthy or provocative conversations as much as possible. You could subtly change subjects of discussions just to keep the party on your line of thought. Remember, never to get drawn into any form of arguments.

- The biggest part is to work on yourself. Savour the love shown, but remember to draw the line. Set personal bounds such as above. This way, you should be able to NOT get into the other side of toxic relationship.

Cheers!

Wow, you won my heart. I never knew we still have many wise people like this on this Earth.
Thanks for all the tips, and I'm glad you understood my write-up, this is why I'm starting to think majority of Nigerians are dumb, check this post of mine and you would see jealousy, hatred, only few were sensible to reason along.

Well, infatuation may not really be the right word since there's no sexual feelings attached, but I don't know what else to use for a ''short loved intense likeness that often lead to those people angry when I'm unable to flow along'', what I know is the likeness is usually too deep for a beginning relationship, and its usually exhausting for me to keep up with them because I would have to FAKE and FAKE, and at the end, I would just give up.

Would like to be your friend if you don't mind, I believe I would learn alot from you, and I would also be beneficicial in some way (mutual friendship) if you agree, kindly chat me directly through the link on my signature

Hmmn

Good

Jm

festacman:
Your leaders wasted your wealth, leaving you without basic infrastructure.

China was ready to lend you money to treat the F*ck up of your leaders but made sure that your leaders won't do to their money what they did to your money.

Yet some Nigerian are yarning opata. The funny thing is that even young Nigerians are not bothered that Nigeria in 2020 has no functional train transportation routes. Yet, when time the for election comes, they will get Atikulated or Sarakified.

Look, if China gives any country money to build a facility and then fail to repay, it is only natural that they will take over the facility like our own AMCON does and run to recover their money and interest. At least, the facility is in the country, providing jobs. There is price to be paid for stupid visionless leadership.

An average Nigerian is dumb

Op shouldn't be allowed to produce children. You have not even given birth, you are already planning abusing them, I hope you get arrested for physical child abuse when you try that stupidity. Somehow

Hmm

Hmm

This covid19 na real or na scam? Some would say its real,some would say it is a scam, this has left me a lil bit confused but I know we would conquer

By the way, Our Promo is still on

We are doing give away, do you want some free logo designs, animation, advert graphics, flyers,business cards, chat us through the link on our signature now to get any of this offer

Terms and conditions apply!!

onesouza:
Hi, I'm from Brazil. I'm a researcher in Literature and Culture and I want to open my mind about other cultures. I want to learn how important is motherhood in other cultures.

Its importance originates deeply from our roots. You can chat me directly through the link on my signature

J

Meaning