₦airaland Forum

Fhemmmy:
Eat well.
Exercise.
Be happy.

Yes you can do as above but shouldn't you be doing it for yourself rather than for your husband?! Will he then tell you how to wear your hair and which clothes to wear?

NYC is cheaper for shopping and hotels/eating out etc but you just cannot compare it to London.
London is so much more historic, cultural and more cosmopolitan. A LOT more class than NYC.
NYC is a pretender.

Is love blind or is this more about desperation?! I've read a lot of Leilah's posts and even though I am a hopeless romantic , even I was relieved to see that she'd finally decided to let this nasty man go.

I worry about her kids who are witnessing this relationship. They may think it normal and end up in abusive relationships themselves.

your thoughts please:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uyfsQ8nn5M4

I swear. Think I'm going to dig out my red passport and slip quietly off for the summer!!

Confirmation of the attack:

Attack on Atlas Cove on Sunday night:

• Attack was carried out by MEND faction loyal to Tom Polo, one of MEND'S factional leaders.
• According to intelligence report the men first assembled in EPE , a town situated on river bank about fifty kilometers from Lagos.They had consultations with some groups presumably their kiths and kins, the Ijaws and carried out reconnaissance of Lagos waterways.
• They finally attacked the Atlas Cove in the night killing a Navy Lt. Commander, two Naval ratings and two civilians ,all were on duty in Atlas Cove,
• Ten civilians were wounded and are being hospitalized.
• Attackers came in three to four speed boats, heavily armed and tried to gain access to the facility but were repelled by gunfire from the Navy. They blew up the manifold and pipeline conveying refined petroleum, causing mighty conflagration
• The fire was put out in the morning and repair work has commenced
• It is believed that the men have not left Lagos coast and may attack the facility again or carry out attacks on Government facilities or oil facilities
• This attack was not directed at any particular oil company, but oil and companies are advised to review their security countermeasures to ensure that their facilities are protected
• Expatriates are advised to consider suspending their trips to the beach, as some kidnappings could be carried out
• Personal security should be given attention
• It is reported that Sunday attack was provoked by the trip of the Attorney -General of the Federation and Minister of Justice to Sao Tome and Principe instead of hastening the presidential directive that Henry Okah, leader of MEND should be released.
• This attack in Lagos outside Niger Delta lends credence to the claim of MEND that it would carry the attack to Northern Nigeria, the claim which has triggered reactions from the North. If any part of the North is attacked the country may witness a mini civil war. Already MEND has advised indigenes of Niger Delta resident in the North to return home.

Wow. This woman is HARDCORE!!! Oh the many times I have tried to keep my cool and keep my husband guessing when he's pissed me off etc. It is ImPOSSIBLE.

He should be afraid, very afraid. Damn.

The "female marketers" that banks use in Nigeria have always made me uncomfortable and this is why.

Firstly, you must tell your husband about the advances asap - in case he sees a text or gets the wrong idea. He may also think you've been hiding something if you tell him much later.

I also agree with some other posters that you should seek advice from a more senior and respectful lady in your establishment.

For me, I'd love to win the deal but not at any length. Wouldn't you rather be able to sleep at night with a clear consience?

Keep it mature, keep it professional and jokily tell the guy he is making you feel uncomfortable. Try and get an assistant involved in the deal and have them also attend lunch/dinner so he cannot get you alone.

It might surprise him to be politely rejected and he may end up having more respect for you in the future and giving you even MORE business.

Pray for God's wisdom and guidance. Good luck. Xx

Nothing wrong with a girl being forward if she likes a guy. Depends on the guy too I think - some may be turned off whilst others will be turned on!!

Couldn't ask a guy to marry me though - I'd always be wondering if he really wanted to marry me or if he just didn't have the guts to say no! Lol - now I know what you men go through!

As for pride - not sure if its a pride issue. For me, its more how old fashioned a girl is.

Ab Fab is a PARODY. Are you really basing an opinion on a fictitious comedy show

For most of us (I would hope), our children are an extension of our loving marriages and a blessing from God - they are loved, cherished and educated - they are not "trophies".

As for kids in care - there are too many kids in care period - whether they are mixed race, chinese, white, asian, black etc. but the simple fact is that for many of them, it is the best and safest place for them. It's actually tragic.

izeek:
we have a different policy for girlfriends and a new set of policies for wifes.
u get married and let the pressure from marriage incite u into taking decisions u wudn't have taken normally.

Being a girlfriend and a wife are definitely very different (even it you're still with the same guy!) - perhaps its a status thing or expectations on both sides but when the ring slips on the finger I believe it all changes - FOR BETTER by the way!!!

@OP - its okay for your husband to have female friends in my opinion - as long as they don't overstep any boundaries and as long as they are not being hidden from you.

Think it means they had a fun day. I know that when littler ones are falling asleep they often act out everything that happened that day again as they are dozing off. I think its sweet.

I don't think I know everything. Lagos is pretty flooded right now and has been almost daily for the past few weeks - this plus the fact that it is July kind of adds up to it being rainy season right now.

I don't believe mixed race kids are more likely to have mental issues. I believe any child who grows up in a broken home or is unloved/maltreated by their parents, or doesn't understand where they are from or has no sense of spiritual belonging is more likely to have mental issues. I believe that any child who grows up amongst love, compassion and understanding and has access to church/mosque/school etc. will grow up to be A.OK whether their parents are black/white or pink/purple.

I am sorry I called you a Arrow. You are not a Arrow (I assume), there is someone in my office really irritating me today and I transfered that to you.

? Um its rainy season dear so I am not enjoying any sunshine.

Keep your ignorant and sweeping generalisations to yourself.

Arrow.

GEW:
did they tell you they are more likely to have mental issues too?

WTF Mental Issues??!?!? Please, tell me where on Earth you dug that up from,

Wow. What now - ethnicity selecting so you can have the "cuter" kids. That is totally f"£ked up. There are some people who struggle to get pregnant period. There are others who are praying for healthy kids with 10 fingers, 10 toes and all senses in order. You are clearly extremely immature.

Can you gently take her aside and talk to her about it? Sure her husband would be mortified to find out.

Love endures and love can grow.

First things first - move back into the same bedroom. Intimacy is a good way to start getting to know eachother properly. You commited to one and another and you have a child - please don't give up.

I was with my husband for years before we even got married and we love eachother deeply but there are still days where we would happily karate chop eachother into oblivion.

Be patient, pray for the love to flow and maybe seek some counselling. Pray for your heart to be softened and get to know your wife. You may be pleasantly surprised by what you might find.

I think its cute!! Especially where distance is an issue. Thank God for webcams, the ability to send videos and photos so easily.

When my other half is away we send eachother photos and voice notes through BB messenger. Kinda soppy and only for our own ears/eyes but yes, desperately romantic!!!!

Met mine at university. Our eyes met over a crowded lecture hall a million years ago and the rest is history

You made a vow before God and you have a child - don't you think you should try just a little bit harder?
Seems to me that you are throwing in the towel without breaking a sweat.

I think a common mistake we all make is believing that irritating traits and/or negative aspects of our partners will somehow disappear into the distance once we are married. Sadly, they get worse instead!

You've said that his tightness, distance and cold manner make it hard for you to live with him. What would he say about you? Perhaps you should remove the log from your eye,

I am a hopeless romantic and always pray that love will find a way

p.s. it has nothing to do with him being Nigerian.

quadrey:
i want a lady in the street and a freak in the bed!!!

Lol. As Jerry Hall famously said - "“Maid in the living room, cook in the kitchen, LovePeddler in the bedroom”

ROTFLMAO

My Brown JAY?!?!?! Oh my gosh. The list is endless. Is there any hope?!

Lol. Do tell - have you found someone with all these qualities? Can such a person really exist?!?!

For me, I think the ride or die mentality should be higher up in the list, especially in Nigeria.

- someone honest
- someone trustworty
- someone respectful (of us but also others)
- someone compatible (physically, mentally and sexually)
- someone intelligent
- someone emotionally ready
- someone fun
- someone driven, with goals
- someone who can communicate with you and understands you
- someone who doesnt nag all day
- someone not afraid to be herself
- someone who knows how to step away from an argument with a smile
- someone strong minded
- someone beautiful and sexy
- someone that can ride and die with you
- someone not afraid to show affection in public
- someone who wont give up trying to seduce me the day that ring is on her finger
- someone who is ready to go on dates for the rest of our lives(even after 15yrs)
- someone who can say whats on their mind (them daily "i love you" are perfect)
- someone who can listen when its needed without making it a confrontation
- someone who understands that being sexy is part of life and that if your man aint sexually attracted to you then the marriage will suffer
- someone who keep fit and who will work hard to loose the extra baby fat

and when all these points are met, she has to be a freak in the sheets whenever required.

Its totally normal. My 3 all did it. I'd like to think they caught a glimpse of their guardian angels!

I think its ok. We always used to have joint account for house stuff (50/50) and our own private accounts when we lived in the UK. I liked that hubby didn't see how much I blow on shoes, manicures etc!!

Funnily enough now we are in Nigeria, we don't even have a joint account and his finances are a lot more private!! Think its just the norm here.

Wow. Reality 101 for sure.

@OP - be thanking God you are doing so well and you must keep praying for your sister. Whatever or whoever she has become - she is still your sister.

This is such a common problem. Let me share something with you - this was told to me by a leading female Christian fellowship leader in Lagos
1) turn a blind eye and put it to prayer
2) do not blame the girls, pray for them
3) always accept your partner's explanation even if its a bit ropey
4) never ever snoop - seek and you will find

Now, I don't personally agree with all 4 of the above, I am simply sharing. I think there is often a mix up between Spiritual advice and Cultural advice. I think the acceptance of cheating is more of a Nigerian thing than a Christian thing.

Don't call the girls because by doing that you are validating them. They are nothing, you are the wife. Please remember this.

You are the only one who really knows if he can change or if he will always be this way. What is your heart telling you?

But what if you're ugly?! Seriously. We all try and conform to the images around us - yes especially media/celebrity etc - I'm not saying its right but we all do it.

If you are ugly, you feel make up will make you look better and then feel better about yourself.

What if you're flat chested and want a sexy cleavage? Surely its better to wear a padded bra than have surgery.

What if you're fat and want to look sweet in a tight dress - corset or spanx will come out!!

Lets face it, we live in a harsh society where women especially are judged on their looks. You can't really blame a girl for trying.