₦airaland Forum

Secretz:
You see? He is even deluding himself into believing we 'actually' got physical.

Please 191 take your meds right now. Your day release is over.

Gbam! tori go soon start

mole!

[img]http://wdfw.wa.gov/wlm/living/graphics/mole.jpg[/img]

huxley2:
On what basis is incest illegal? Is it illegal because it is immoral and if so what makes it immoral? Why is it immoral?

thank u, thank u. oya, make una answer

mash2:
Someone posted/initiated a thread that this nation is one of idiots, all began to curse and throw tantrums. How can u situate it that the leader of the most populous black nation (that represents 1 out of every 4 blacks) was not invited to grace the swearing in of the 1st black president of the bastion of democracy, that the leader of the 5th/6th oil producer (nay gas) and so called giant of africa shunned when invitations went to world leaders for the G20 summit, that all past two presidents of the US and incumbent chose to visit Ghana on their so called Africa Tour rather than Nigeria and some lazy good for nothing stale heads is throwing cheap blackmail about. How can anyone take this country serious when our leaders go cap in hand either soliciting for funds or begging to "please help us develop". GE of America is the latest to have a blanket development agreement (someone apparently forgets GE is a business dedicated to making profits) on everything from air we breath in to the soil we will end up in! Shame on Nigeria, its leaders and its led.

shame unto u kuwa, church close

platinumnk:
na2day-


https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-259856.704.html



u have been summoned, make u hurry fast fast!

gbam! e don happen

acidrop:
i will like u 2 summon na2day

casala don burst 

Oxone:
this outta be fun

*draws up a reclining chair, brings out a humongous popcorn pack, six packs & leans back to enjoy the show*



oops, forgets i suppose to be a jury here, anyways

platinumnk:
oya shift ooo, and where is my own bag?!!


where is tha shamless flirt na2day?

2 of una like fight oooo, una no even pity me sha 

@ honorable judge IFELEKE

ur honor, all allegations against me are false. i am a born again that do no wrong

Hardballer:
[img]http://a1.vox.com/6a00d4141e95a7685e0109811f1cb9000c-500pi[/img]

i go give u back hand slap ooo

ibkaye:
Neither :PMschew.

Oxone:
*gives him my hand & then chop knuckle with him*

u 2 na correct man bt before i forget acid drop charge u to court court o,
judge ifeleke has summoned & my humble sef go be jury
so u fit begin see me now before we'll be sequestered

abeg bros, u know say me and u na 5 and 6, so u go support my case against acidrop. btw na which thread she take charge me to court?

platinumnk:
oyaa bring urself t the romance disputes u have been summoned

are u accusing me of sumtin? i am innocent ooo

Phemour:
Big boy dont fight naaaa. . . . . . . you rob it and go

story! i have to return the favor in all sincerity

my skin

yicob:
(strolling on the street of Lagos ) 15/18/2098.

Akin: Hello baby, I was the one waving my hands when you passed by the one-storey building, as in the one painted chocolate red.

Lizy: Ok, how do I help you.

Akin: **chuckles** am Akin a geophysics graduate of University of Ikoyi.

Lizy: sorry I don't have much time to discuss. Anyway, am Lizy. . . and what do u do?

Akin: I just finished my nysc and would be going for a managerial post interview in an International Oil Company in PH. Actually your face looks familiar, as in I know you somewhere.

Lizy: really ? wow. . . .a good job is ahead of you. But I dont think I know you.

Akin: i love your swag style. You re chic gurl. I love the way you smile, walk, talk. Oh my you re an angel.

Lizy: thank you. (shouting) okada, okada, motocycle, Obalende


(the duo exchanges tele number)

(at respective homes, Akin dials Lizy)

Akin: Hi Lizy, thanks for talking to you yesterday

Lizy: how are u Akin ?

Akin: i have a confession.

Lizy: go on Bwoy, am all ears.

Akin: the very first time I saw you, my love for you was gallivanting like an antelope. My love for you is as hard as nairaland. You are the sugar in my tea and the place I call home. Anytime I hear your voice, i feel like jumping into your arms. You are the woman that shares my dream. Please Nkem Lizy, I want to marry you. Please please, i love you, true to God. Are u there ?

Lizy: I can hear you. How come you love me so much for the first time of seeing.

Akin: love surpasses time barrier, am on my kneels, just say yes.

Lizy: am not interested in any relationship. I have some issues bothering me.

Akin: what is it ? Tell me, I would help.

Lizy: em . . .em. . .thats my darling. I lost my Aunt's N120,000 on my way to the market. If you can help me with N100k.

Akin:  ha, serious issue. 120k. Ok I would try my best. If you can come to my house on  Sunday. 8pm.

Lizy: ey, i love you. Ok, i will. Bye.

(hangs phone)

** soliloquizing in their rooms**

Akin: (rolling and laughing all alone in his unceilled cubicle)stupid girl, she wants money. God will just catch her and make her come on sunday. I will make sure i tear her to pieces. Suck her breasts like viju milk. 9 rounds is my mission.

Lizy: (applying pancake infront of a mirror) mumu boy , maga don pay. So him think say i be ashewo ? When Sunday come, I would tell him to come to Tantalizers with money. He will not only give me 100k but also pay for rice and chicken + ice tea. Now I can buy 11 G-strings, 8 Bras, 9 armless and 3 high soles (cocoshoe) like that of T*pe2000.

(light fades)
THE END.

abeg when part 2 of this movie dey comot?

wanville:
This ma hubby has his facts mixed up, I've never slept on your bed before. That day after I cooked a scrumptous meal 4 u and put what baba isalawo gave me, you were feelin a bit sleepy so I just walked u 2 ur room and put you to sleep, after which I slept in the guestroom.

chei! u wicked ooo i dey go mountain on fire sharp sharp

the only thing i have to do with letters nowadays are bills, i dont write them, they write me and it is usually urgent

Secretz:
Pele, you have tried. Hope you didn't hurt yourself sweety doing that ehn?  

I dont care if hes fat and rich like fat joe.  I'm a smallish kinda chic, don't want to be crushed, simple.  

Hygiene?? Sweet do you even have to ask? Would you be happy receive a hug from a girl who did not bath that day? or kiss a woman who's breath is harsh?  

'Yes, no, i dunno', valid responses ehn? Is that the kind of 'dah dah' brainless woman fit enough to pass her genes to your children?  

And of course I get the 411, I got to please him right?  

Oya, give me your list.  

Pele, you have tried. Hope you didn't hurt yourself sweety doing that ehn?  

my hospital bill dey wait for u for domot  

I dont care if hes fat and rich like fat joe.  I'm a smallish kinda chic, don't want to be crushed, simple.  

never heard of small but might?  

Hygiene?? Sweet do you even have to ask? Would you be happy receive a hug from a girl who did not bath that day? or kiss a woman who's breath is harsh?  

there are alot a guy can do even if she hasnt taken her bath or brushing her teeth, there is no place where it was written that we must kiss, action an action, carry go  

'Yes, no, i dunno', valid responses ehn? Is that the kind of 'dah dah' brainless woman fit enough to pass her genes to your children?  

our papas don warn long ago say if u dey ask woman more than 3 words, na u dey buy trouble, for every word there are 3 unequal and opposite questions come back to hurt u. so for 3 words, 9 questions are coming back so we like to keep it short and simple, therefore Yes, no, i dunno' are very valid precious responses  

Secretz:
Sorry, should have put mine. . . .

MUST HAVE/BE:

1. Hygienic (this includes having a well looked after body).  
2. Intelligent    
3. Mentally/Emotionally stable.  
4. Sexual (This is not permission to sleep with others)  
5. Socially Stable


NO NO:

1. Un-hygienic (not in the slightest-some people think it's okay to bath every other day)!  
2. Lack of intelligence (some people think 'Yes, No, I dunno' is a valid response to a good conversation).  
3. Not addicted to porn (I wanna be your porn star in the bed room).  
4. Proud   (I hate it with a passion! When it comes to matters of the heart, pride goes in the bin!)  
5. EXTREMELY Overweight (I mean obese-no disrespect).  

This is my list, so no vex me oh!          
Each to their own.  

this thread na jamb oooo.  

oya, make i take ur no no list analyze am  

1. Un-hygienic (not in the slightest-some people think it's okay to bath every other day)!  

Un-hygienic :- e go hard u ooo, wetin bi Un-hygienic? i hope say u no put lifting up of the toilet sit sha  

2. Lack of intelligence (some people think 'Yes, No, I dunno' is a valid response to a good conversation).  

i hate to burst ur bubble but "Yes, No, I dunno" are very valid response in a man's world  

3. Not addicted to porn (I wanna be your porn star in the bed room).  

u get the 411 on this one  

4. Proud   (I hate it with a passion! When it comes to matters of the heart, pride goes in the bin!)  

does this include men's natural ego?  

5. EXTREMELY Overweight (I mean obese-no disrespect).  

what if he is rich like fat joe?  

Oxone:
yes o

u get the 411

wanville:
sweetheart I beat u 2 it, i already consulted isalawo--Thats y u "lorf me so mash"

i knew sumtin was wrong with me after that day u slept on my bed. i dey go mountain of fire for deliverance

Oxone:
she's either a minor or just pretending as usual jor

so IBK which is is

give me hand, u bi correct man

biina:
If you love something, set it free; if it comes back it's yours, if it doesn't, it never was.

I have never seen the sense in it
IMO If you don't wanna lose something, then don't let it go, and do all you can to hold on to it.

hope all the girls are reading this

acidrop:
LOL if i beat the hell outta that gurl eh? when am done with her i turn to u, hahahahahah

na u find trouble bi that, u no know say i get black and rainbow belt for karate?

[quote author=~Sissy~ link=topic=61264.msg3984985#msg3984985 date=1244256478]sorri, u cnt have it both ways

it is either u want a healthy baby regardless of gender or u want a boy with a spina fida[/quote]a healthy baby boy like this one

[quote author=udeycraze? link=topic=279591.msg3984885#msg3984885 date=1244254706]oh oh , This girl C2h- watever. i aint got time[/quote]e bi like say u no am

[quote author=~Sissy~ link=topic=61264.msg3984940#msg3984940 date=1244255677]do you want a boy with spina fida first or a girl with a healthy bone first

oya choose [/quote]a boy and he better be healthy

acidrop:
sounds like osmething u myt do?

it is worth trying but then again i dont expect u to fight over me, i expect u to act like a lady and let me handle the situation  

@ topic

well at least ur ex-bf was smart in locking both of u up in the room to fight it out, that is just an excellent move

[quote author=~Sissy~ link=topic=61264.msg3984655#msg3984655 date=1244249416]i want a healthy baby. be it boy or girl.[/quote]wetin bi that? na boy we dey get first ooo

[quote author=I-egenti link=topic=279551.msg3970819#msg3970819 date=1244037435]u are tryig to toast a babe, and she gives u a dirty slap in the process,

above all, IN PUBLIC!!!!!!!! what will u do nxt?[/quote]i will return fire

u mean they did put pidgin english in there?