₦airaland Forum

aroundtheearth:
If you're not a virgin, or worse, have a high body count and are a community peen who has slept with anything and everything in a skirt, it would be hypocritical of you to be looking for a virgin to marry. Yes, the qualities you expect in a future spouse ought to be qualities you yourself possess or can match.

You need to create another /other thread[s] for your other points below because I'm not interested in red herring arguments.

We are still saying the same thing. What applies to this can equally apply to that. People only get who they are like and not who they want to be like. Same thing.

A bore hole should get a community pen/s
A rich girl a rich man.
A fine girl a fine man.
A broke girl a broke man.
A shy girl a shy man
Etc.

I like the principle,no hypocrisy there.Thanks

ibkonekt:
short version
the answer is NO.

"if Dangote says he wants to marry a virgin of 22years non-virgins will complain and insult him but i bet you he will get thousands and thousands of offers" alas he only uses girls of low virtue who claim to be slay queens as concubines

long version
Women like to gaslight themselves to think that men want the same thing that they want from men. women want resources from men, men want chastisty youth fertility. so it stands to reason a well accomplished man can "Demand" a virgin because he has built himself to a high quality in society. therefore such a man does not need virginity to ask for a virgin. the virgin girl will even throw herself at him because he can provide a lifestyle that she desires. the woman gets a new life the man gets youth fertility and healthy children. women also love pre-selected men, women have a hive mentality in the sense that they believe if a pretty woman chose to be with a man it shows that he must be a catch and they will want that man. so in essence if a man has many beautiful past girlfriends and bedded them, many women will choose that man over a virgin because he was pre-selected by other women. men do not function this way, once a man has entered a woman she becomes repulsive to other men as a wife, but a good option for free sex

typical example is ned nwoko and regina daniels. regina will never marry a poor virgin or managing/struggling virgin as compared to ned because in reality what women hate to admit is that all they want out of marriage is a man's resources and the life that he can produce for her and her offspring. they like to gaslight themselves that men must want the sam thing, however this is not true.

the flip side is that women at 18 -27 are very attractive and have multiple suitors at this time, so they can choose a high quality man if he presents himself at this time.

as a man of stature and means a woman's money means nothing to you, it's worthless. you already have enough money. her most valuable possession is her purity and chastity which Wh0res gave away for free. a woman thats not a virgin should not be wifed up except she is ashamed of her past and tells her man the truth of her wh0redom...and the only man that can do this is a man of high value.

Well elaborated

aroundtheearth:
Community peens don't deserve virgins.

So using the deserving principles bore holes deserves community pen/s. Broke girls deserve broke boys, short girls same etc, only girls that meets the same standard as a guy deserve each other. Really nice.

aroundtheearth:
Yes.

Please state your logic

ibkonekt:
the answer is NO

I believe so too

StacyO:
The non virgins will disagree.
The virgins will agree.


Two ways street.

So virgin guys would want to marry virgin girls but will prevent unvirgin guys from doing same?

That's the point I assume, correct me if I am wrong.

I made a comment on someone's post about this and it got me thinking.

The logic is this : MUST I BE SOMETHING TO EXPECT THAT SAME THING.

So that logic applies to virginity, must a man be a virgin to expect a virgin wife?

The logic can also be twisted this way, must a woman make 6 figures or more before she can consider marrying a rich man? Or must she be 6 feet tall before she demands her man must be at least 6 feet tall.

The logic is simply you can't 'take what you can't give'.

Angelsssss:
So what if someone comes with 80% of what they desire, must they wait for 100%?

Virginity is good. But after the first night...what else is there? It takes more than virginity to make a marriage work.

Since he has found a wife in her, he should consider other qualities that drew them together.

To me this is a realistic approach.

Yeah as a lady I expected you to say that. But a guy doesn't think that way.

Just the same way most ladies will choose a guy that has money to take care of her to marry when she is ready to settle down over a guy who isn't ready to settle down because he is still broke, even if he really loves her.

Angelsssss:
Focus on the other qualities.

People want what people want be it virginity or not, their choice if it makes them happy.

Same way other people want tall guys or rich guys, they may not be tall or rich themselves but its still their life and their choice.

Derinofzion:
Demand for what?I am a yoruba girl.

Okay that's good.

Derinofzion:
If you support all those babaric pratice in the name of keeping a woman virginity then you are an animal and shouldn't be living in the midst of human beings.SMH

No need for the personal attack, I only explained that bride price is directly connected to a woman's sexuality, it is even stated in the bible.

While Africans and other Asia may have barbaric methods to ensure girls keep their virginity before they pay their bride price, others dont. Like the Jews, the English etc that just require a lady to be virtuous on her own.

So now you know what bride price is all about, hope you wont demand for one?

Cyry:
Nigerian MEN are SO useless.





All they know is sex and how to dupe white ladies.

Nothing intelligent to contribute.







#fact

Trevor Noah too is Nigerian, thank God

NobleAngell:
As long as a woman has a family or relatives, a bride price must, I repeat, MUST be paid to them.
A bride price is a form of compensation to the bride's family since their daughter will be taken from them (so to speak). It's a way of acknowledging that she belongs to a family. This is why the prices vary from region to region, family to family. Some families tend to place unreasonable demands as a way of releasing their daughter to another family. This has absolutely nothing to do with virginity.

Permit me to give you a typical example. A certain family collected a bride price of #300 for their daughter who stopped her education at secondary level, and collected a bride price of #1000 for their daughter who is a degree holder.

THINK ABOUT THIS: If brideprice was about virginity, it would have gone almost extinct by now because men would have stopped paying. You won't be the first man to have such thoughts. Men have reasoned in this same line before but couldn't do anything about it because they know it's not about the virginity.

Like I said it has lost its true meaning, what you stated above is it's current meaning.

Before the 21st century, female sexuality outside marriage was frowned upon by society, then 2nd wave feminism came with liberation on female sexuality and this brought about the widespread availability of contraceptives for women, since women could use contraceptives before or after sex, getting pregnant was no longer an issue, therefore keeping ones virginity too , was no longer seen as an issue.

Before this time though it was, there were great limitations on the availability of contraceptives even in the west, abstinence was the surest way then and virginity was key. African practiced many forms of abstinence to preserve the female virginity until marriage. Let me give some examples you may easily remember. Female circumcision is one of them, the idea behind it is to make a girl have low libido, a practice done to safeguard the female sexuality until marriage. Others include the flattening of a females breast as she enters puberty known as breast ironing, it is believed to help the girl be chaste. Same as other rituals where girls transition from girlhood to womanhood known as fattening rooms, this happens in early puberty and is only for virgins. Also their is this practice then where a man sleeps with his new wife under white sheets or cloth, it is believed that if she is a virgin she will bleed at her first sex and stain the sheet red.

I have not even touched Asia or parts of Europe.
You know the white wedding dress use to be a symbol of a chaste virgin girl before marriage. But now it's just a white dress. Asians including Indians can kill their bride if she turns out not to be a virgin. Like I said, bride price has a lot to do with buying not just a woman but her untouched sexuality, but we live in an immoral world now and people no longer care as much.

Dear hope you understand better now?

NobleAngell:
No, what is obvious is the fact that you haven't done your research well. Find out the origin of brideprice. Well, except it's different in your culture.

Dear, if you did you will just tell me. I told you mine and you disagreed, so tell me yours.

Before I told you that answer , I did my research. So show me your research or hold your peace.

NobleAngell:
The brideprice has absolutely nothing to do with this.

You dont know the answer, it's obvious.

Whatever happened to sexuality section, what are the mods doing about this?

Zzor:
First glance I thought I saw chimpanzee not until a closer look,its actually disgusting, too much of everything is bad.I also heard people like this have no organ anymore,infinitesimal something,check his dick print theres nothing there again kikikiki

You just sexually objectified him...poor manners

NobleAngell:
Virgin or not, you have to pay the brideprice to the last dime. Is sex the only reason you're marrying her? If yes, does being a non-virgin mean she can never give you the kind of sex you desire? If yes, then go and marry a virgin and allow people to hear word.

Do you know why men paid bride price in the first place or dowry?

They were simply buying the sexuality of an untouched woman. Infact the man after sex is suppose to return and confirm to his inlaws that he met her as a virgin, any other thing would bring shame and disgrace to the family and even divorce.

Now people pay bride price but it has no meaning again.

VaselineCrew:
pretty much rooting for and supporting the best candidates

maybe a mass voter education campaign of sorts

We support aggressive, possessive, even tyrannical people in Nigeria alot ( that's just scratching the surface of the kind of people we support) and that is why our system, almost every system produces such leaders.

Can you think of any aggressive, possessive or tyrannical saviours you know?

As you rightly mentioned mass voter education must be done but not by INEC, maybe NGO's, maybe on forums like this, maybe through TV or radio programs, maybe through symposium, one on one discussion or a combination of all the above....You can add yours too.

In civilised society only the ENLIGHTENED, DIPLOMATIC and EMPATHETIC should lead, their leadership style fashioned after "LEADING BY EXAMPLE", rather than "leading by dominating".

In Nigeria our leader inspire "Fear" rather than inspire "Awe". Go against a leader and get punished.
We respect a certain leader or even our elders not becomes we are in "awe" of them but because we are "afraid" of disregarding them for fear of punishment. Sometimes we are in "awe" of them, not because they are good leaders in themselves but because we are "AFRAID" of what our enemies will do to us without the VIOLENCE or AGGRESSION they preach. Can you think of any example of this?

Take away the "fear" of our enemies, imagine we can defend ourselves, what "awe" will those pseudo-leaders have?

So far what are your thoughts?

VaselineCrew:
pretty much rooting for and supporting the best candidates

maybe a mass voter education campaign of sorts

You are not so far off from the answer. The later statement being that which is true and not particularly the former.

I'll explain.

VaselineCrew:
so what is the solution for a better Nigeria?

or do we just surrender all hope?

Well let's discus shall we. Tell me first what answers you can think of

I tire for this country . So if mr A becomes president from this tribe or that tribe, how does it benefit you, YES YOU THIS NAIRALANDER READING THIS PERSONALLY?

Mr A is still going to be a corrupt entity like his party and the rest of the politicians . If you doubt, just check out almost all private and government organisations, corruption, connection and nepotism are the order of the day and no be today e start. Every tribe is involved left, right and center .

When will Nigerians learn and realise that the process that leads one to hold any political office in Nigeria is VERY CORRUPT and not for the innocent or faint hearted ?

Ordinary university election we see how corrupt the process is, people with brilliant ideas or thought process cant just win it. Even if they somehow run, their fellow students wont just pick them, they arent rugged enough. You must be a badoo in one area or the other to win it .

Ordinary association election like NMA, ASUU, NLC, so much power tussle just to emerge as a candidate not to talk of winning it . Ideology is secondary. .

See eh, Nigeria's political process as it is now can never bring out a saint or saviour, it only fashions out HARDENED people (crooks) and that's why they deal mercilessly with the masses (even to the point of DEATH without pity), cause they know how difficult and how they fought to get into the corridors of power. The practically sold their soul for it.

The only people that dont get scarred getting into politics are those people who a God father does all the dirty work for, hand picks them and anoints them as candidates (you should know a few of them ) But when they get into power, they become puppets, their God fathers rules through them (afterall a God father is not a father Christmas, he picked such ones cause they can be easily manipulated by him to do his bidding) and if they refuse to cooperate, the God father will display his ruthlessness on him and he must be ready to fight TOOTH and NAIL to win or chicken out and still remain his innocent self. Now if he chooses to fight, he must be willing to go to any length to win, as such he himself must pass through the fire and become ruthless like his God father.

Once again I ask, what's there in the tribe of the president?

All of them have practically passed through fire to get to that office , they only care about themselves and their own relatives from their tribe (and not the whole tribe at large) and a few prominent friends (the cabal).

Make una no wound una self with 2023 permutations o

Mynd44
OAM4J

Cashsteady:
bro Lagos needs decongestion .. apart from that Nigerians are backward and can be annoying especially those folks from the north... government go build gutters for una u people go turn am to dustbin, government go build good roads una go destroy am, government go build train una go turn am to another market place, government go make lekki fine and all this northern folks go come disfigure the place with their useless okadas and shanties... The problem of Nigeria is Nigerians

Nigerians definitely are Nigeria's problem including government and citizen. But regards lagos the problem majorly is urban planning. The urban planning is poor and despite it been poor, it is also poorly supervised.

Places like lekki and even VI had no properly urban plan for sewage system, underground drainage system for both waste water and flood management.

The road networks are fair but for a busy area like VI, 3 lane double roads should be the standard at least. It should have enough packing space in its urban planning, etc.

Cashsteady:
lagos is not bad for a city tho. some African cities Are worse even the overrated Cairo people dey hype looks like a wore torn city... Lagos go still Enter top 10 in Africa I'm sure of that

Lagos is the second best city Nigeria has but it is no where near the standard a city should have.

Lagos has no proper sewage system. It also has no proper and modern drainage system. All it's natural streams have been converted to drainage outlets and it empties into the lagoon, instead of a waste water treatment plant then into water bodies or it can even be recycled for other use like agricultural irrigation.

Lagos has poor waste management system. Open waste dumping is still common despite Lasg's efforts to modern it.

Lagos doesnt have a centralized water system. Everyone bores for water themselves except for a few places like ikeja that still water corporation function but not all the time.
The list is long.

It doesnt make sense to big very tall buildings in Nigeria. If a fire outbreak should occur we dont have the capacity to put out a fire on the 50th floor or above. We barely even have helicopter support to pick of people from the roof top.

I pity anybody wey dey stay or work for topmost floor, OYO is their case.

JaneYave:
The second is more sensible

You are also sensible too

9japride:
[color=#006600][/color]

Though I was referring to a sexless marriage situation. Where they deny their husbands sex but give it to outsiders. Maybe I can say its true because of constantly changing sexmates.

Exactly.

Feminist hypocrisy

9japride:
Its not true, but they are never bored to sleep with their neighbours, young boys and old time besties?

You just said it's TRUE indirectly. Read what you wrote again.

thebosstrevor1:
all these people should stop putting women on pedestal, men also get bored having sex with the same person

this one think marriage is all about having sex.

Sometimes Over familiarity can make a marriage boring.

Also, i believe in marriage, it will get to a time where sex does not mean anything, at that point only friendship matters

just get a friend and dont marry, friendship afterall is the goal. I have close friends I tell most things, I am sure most do.

Living with anyone long enough will make you acquainted with them, that's the familiarity. If you get bored with your friends becomes you have known them too long maybe you should check how you relate with them. It should be "old but gold" and not "old and worn".

Sex is very very important in marriage, that is why no matter the age of a man or a woman who are married, if they are ever caught cheating it could lead to the end of that marriage. Baba of 70 years can still leave his wife of 60 if he caught her in bed with another man, same as the woman. Just because they have been having sex for a long time doesn't make it meaningless to them anymore or inconsequential. The other term for sex is LOVE MAKING. Marriage is about love and sex is one of the ways to convey that love.

JaneYave:
What is the remedy?

Hopefully you are a female?

First the wrong remedy. A man gets a side chick or marries a second wife. A woman gets a side nigga or allows her man cheat in peace.

Second the right remedy. A marriage should be primarily about the happiness of a man and a woman. Every other thing is secondary, children, inlaws, society, money etc. If husbands and wives prioritize each other in a marriage issues like sexless marriage wont come up.

Xenry:
No, he is wrong. It's 100%, not 90%

I no dey for complete generalization o