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Career / Re: How Has Nairaland Affected Your Work At The Office? by Nickydrake(m): 1:45pm On Jun 19, 2012 |
Nairaland has helped to hone my multitasking skill to an incredibly fine edge. Now i can read hilarious comments and chuckle to myself while i rapidly take notes on criminal law. |
Romance / Re: What Kind Of A Husband Will He Be? by Nickydrake(m): 11:52pm On Jun 18, 2012 |
apocalypse: If you ain't figured it out by now, it is unlikely that further explanation will be of any help. |
Romance / Re: What Kind Of A Husband Will He Be? by Nickydrake(m): 10:13pm On Jun 18, 2012 |
I cannot answer the question of what kind of husband the guy will make, but i can suggest a scheme that will cut that puppet from his mother's strings. Her meddlesome influence appears to be the chief cause of all the worry after all. Now, you may think of the situation in this way: Enormously wealthy mum; lazy, spoilt only son; desperate fiancée. [Feel free to replace 'desperate' with any euphemism of your choice]. There has been no mention of a dad, and for the sake of my scheme we shall assume that he is lounging six feet beneath. This wickedly rich woman has got a kid who is apparently old enough for marriage, yet she still retains sufficient will-power to exert a domineering demeanour on both her child AND his fiancée; two fully grown adults. It would be safe therefore to place her age above fifty but below sixty-five. For very simple reasons too. It is uncommon for a woman below fifty to have produced progeny that is fit for matrimony, especially when that offspring is male. It is also inconceiveable that a woman over sixty-five would wield such pronounced influence in any area of her SON's life other than mentioning her preferred colour of napkins. Now the story makes it evident that our wealthy milf dotes on her son excessively. If she cares so much for her son now that she is alive, bet on the fact that she worries convulsively about what will become of him when she is gone to provide nourishment for the maggots. She's a woman, and they're all good at worrying about such things. Plus the fact that she is overbearing as of nature means she will be extra-meticulous with her plans. SO our ma'am wants to ensure that her baby is tucked in all nice and comfy before she kicks the bucket, the obvious answer to that problem is in showering said lad with a generous allocation of cash and other lucrative assets...in a will. I should mention, for clarity of intent, that a will usually doesn't come into effect until after the testator, in this case our beloveth milf, DIES. This technicality is disturbing at first, but careful consideration would reveal how happy everyone would really be if said milf met with some fatal misfortune. The exact nature of this misfortune being something to be determined by the imagination of the would-be couple. I have a mind to furnish this distraught couple with further hints on how to approach the ultimate matter, but i'm wary of the line between the absurd ramblings of an idle nairalander and the cold calculations of an accessory. |
Politics / Re: Farouk Lawan Stuffed Bribe Money Inside His Cap To Avoid Suspicion. by Nickydrake(m): 1:18am On Jun 16, 2012 |
@Ojeffo: Yours is without a doubt (and by a great distance too) the most hilarious post i've ever encountered on this forum. Put modestly, the thing was perfectly done. I'd like to say a lot more in praise of your creativity and writing skill, but i find myself reluctant to waste time further with anything that would delay me from returning to read your wicked satire a few more times. All the acclamation is delivered on the assumption that you composed it yourself, of course. |
Car Talk / Re: Nigerians's Impression About Second Hand Cars. by Nickydrake(m): 7:57pm On Jun 13, 2012 |
I'm a little confused here. What exactly is the difference between 'tokumbo' vehicles and 'secondhand' ones? 1 Like |
Family / Re: Are Extra Lessons Really Necessary For School Children? by Nickydrake(m): 3:47pm On Jun 13, 2012 |
If you ACTUALLY enroll your child to take extra lessons, i daresay you will have blown an extremely potent disciplinary technique. The reason is simple; there is no wrong a child will not genuinely repent of and perpetually refrain from if he is merely THREATENED with extra lessons. |
Nairaland / General / Re: ***struts In*** by Nickydrake(m): 1:17pm On Jun 13, 2012 |
Rocktation: Hmmn...she sure does not seem like her moniker... You got it. Lawd knows where from, but i get the idea that, were it not already taken, Freecocoa woulda been a more fitting handle. Well a hyphen or an underscore could fix that. Hehe |
Nairaland / General / Re: Do Albinos Die?? by Nickydrake(m): 1:10pm On Jun 13, 2012 |
Of course not. They're merely recycled. |
Politics / Re: Okada Ban In Plateau State Metropolis, What's Your Take? by Nickydrake(m): 10:29am On Jun 13, 2012 |
For reasons unrelated to the peculiar situation obtainable in jos, i rarely patronise commercial motorcyclists. However, i'm not so sure the ban's such a good thing. For one, while taxi fares are usually less expensive, the bikes are more readily available. Most students will tell you what a hard time they have walking from Abuja hostel to Naraguta gate when taxicabs are scarce, simply because the school barred bikes from coming into hostel premises. Commercial motorcyclists, wherever they exist, are typically ubiquitous. Not to mention their size which helps them slip through hold ups. Very handy when you ain't got energy to burn, or when time is of the essence. Motorcyclists are also about as much of a security risk as taxi drivers. In fact, some of my friends argue that while it would be considerably easy to reach over and snap the neck of a would-be cutthroat motorcyclist, one would be well nigh cooked if trapped in a locked taxi with a murderous driver and conspiring passengers. Hehehe Besides, hasn't this move been made once before? Why did it end in clumsy failure then? Is there a chance that those red-eyed ogogoro-guzzling malo mercenaries will meekly haul their butts to Chad to set up subsistent livestock farms with the money they've saved riding iron horses? I think not. After all, what have they got scimitars taped to the underside of their fuel tanks for? Like the UJ admin, the plateau state government appears to have a knack for taking ill-advised decisions that achieve little more than introducing a new misery to an already disagreeable state of affairs. 1 Like |
Celebrities / Re: Kim Kardashian Gives Kanye West $750,000 Lamborghini For 35th Birthday PHOTO by Nickydrake(m): 9:22am On Jun 09, 2012 |
pro01: I sure would look good in that. And feel much the same way too. |
Politics / Re: Lagos Fills Roads With Crash Site Rubble by Nickydrake(m): 12:39am On Jun 09, 2012 |
Jalal: Using rubbish to coverup inefficiency! Whether intended or not, the pun's just brilliant! |
Politics / Re: India Must Go by Nickydrake(m): 8:30pm On Jun 05, 2012 |
Sickening, rretarded, incredibly narrow-minded topic. |
Family / Re: Shower Or Bath? by Nickydrake(m): 4:15pm On May 29, 2012 |
ronkebp: As long as you are using soap and sponge in either one. But if you had to choose between the two? |
Family / Re: Shower Or Bath? by Nickydrake(m): 4:13pm On May 29, 2012 |
maclatunji: ^A bath for obvious reasons. Come on, if the reasons were so obvious i wouldn't have started the thread. Okay, maybe you like a bath because you can just lie in it and let the water soothe your body, but some would argue that you'd then be more or less wallowing in your own filth. See? So i'd appreciate it if you'd mention clearly the reason(s) you prefer a bath. Cheerz. |
Family / Shower Or Bath? by Nickydrake(m): 1:13pm On May 29, 2012 |
Hello folks, do tell which you prefer and why. I've read arguments for and against either of them and i still can't seem to make up my mind. |
Education / Re: UNILAG Renamed 'Moshood Abiola University' by Nickydrake(m): 11:43am On May 29, 2012 |
I just dey happy for the guys who supply official stationery and do other printing jobs on university property...if you know what i mean. 1 Like |
Culture / Re: An Honest Question From A Somali by Nickydrake(m): 12:33pm On May 25, 2012 |
ayanle456: i see my inteLectual command of the english language has shamed you into telling me to go away. The somali friend of yours !!!WHOSE!!! humble isnt full somali...or maybe !!HIS!! from those small clans...i actually like this site...and as for me having low self esteem...i am offended...i thought my !!!overbearing overconfidence personality!!! was known on this forum....i guess i need to stick around so people can get to know me better... You're certainly very creative when it comes to distorting grammar. Or maybe you're just sincerely dumb. Intellectual command? Looks more like ignorant abuse to me. 1 Like |
Politics / Re: Driver Sent To Prison For Blocking Fashola’s Convoy by Nickydrake(m): 7:36pm On May 24, 2012 |
Sisi_Kill: Oh gimme a freaking break!!! Thanks a bunch. You saved me some typing time and energy. |
Literature / Re: 'my Names Are', Or 'my Name Is' by Nickydrake(m): 10:18pm On May 23, 2012 |
omodapson: I think it's a brilliant example. Unless you'd be nice enough to distinguish between 'number' and 'figure' in the context. You're clearly among those who are confidently asserting that it's right to say 'my names are', which in itself belittles whatever analytical powers you imagine you possess. 1 Like |
Literature / Re: 'my Names Are', Or 'my Name Is' by Nickydrake(m): 6:12pm On May 23, 2012 |
My name, if i had agreed to it, would have been... |
Career / Re: Multinational Company Vs. One Man Business by Nickydrake(m): 6:03pm On May 23, 2012 |
Liss: I believe he understood your inquiry to mean leaving a multinational as an employee to begin your own one-man show. Not quitting a multinational to work for some Baba Sule Nig. Ltd. So the issue of being summoned late at night more often doesn't quite come in, since it's basically about you dragging your butt off and diligently seeking a boarding pass for the gravvy train. |
Fashion / Re: Man's Biggest Neccessary Evil In Corporate Fashion... by Nickydrake(m): 8:36pm On May 22, 2012 |
2buff: Yeah, that would simply be something to laugh at. |
Fashion / Re: Man's Biggest Neccessary Evil In Corporate Fashion... by Nickydrake(m): 6:52pm On May 22, 2012 |
2buff: My point is, it's for skinny/lanky guys. So I can understand why some guys don't mind it. You're right. Ties are for us with thin and trim frames. Few things look more disagreeable than a fat tie pushed forward by a bulky paunch. |
Fashion / Re: Man's Biggest Neccessary Evil In Corporate Fashion... by Nickydrake(m): 6:43pm On May 22, 2012 |
Dual Core: Slim ties and body-fitted suits. Spot on man!! I LOVE ties. And it's strictly gotta be the slim ones. Once i really hated wearing them, and even now i'm surprised at how enchanting i find beautiful slim ties. I watched something on E! once about a guy who claimed he didn't think he had worn any single tie more than once. When they opened his wardrobe, it was totally incredible! The ties there would stretch for miles if they were tied end to end. I can't hope to match that feat just yet, but since then i've made sure i have more ties in my wardrobe than any other item of clothing at any given time. And, funny as this sounds, one reason i love ties is it gives me the feel of a cocky CIA agent. |
Literature / Re: Achebe's Things Fall Apart Named One Of 50 Most Influential Books by Nickydrake(m): 8:24pm On May 21, 2012 |
I'm quite sure any avid reader could readily come up with a sizeable list of books which he is convinced deserve a rung in the rankings. Some will have valid reasons for their recommendations and others will just blabber about how much they like the book, as though such lists are compiled based entirely on individual preferences. A number of books on the list are foreign to me, and i also think some listed ones have been undeservedly honoured. I agree with a number of 'notable omissions' suggested by some nairalanders here, and at the same time i feel some of such suggestions are wholly unremarkable and worthy of neglect. This doesn't make them wrong or me right. I'm considerably sure that if ten separate groups of 'scholars' or literary critics were each asked to come up with a Top Fifty Most Influential Books list, and selections were to be made based on the same parameters, no two groups would emerge with an identical list. We're talking about the arts here. Variety. Flexibility. Diversity. Congrats to Achebe. That book is one of the very few works of Nigerian literature i've read, and i believe it really is classic. |
Politics / Re: Okereke-Onyuike Was Sacked For Spending ₦186m On Rolex Watches - Arunma Oteh by Nickydrake(m): 12:10pm On May 08, 2012 |
Uh...what sorta yatch goes for 'only' 37 million naira? |
Forum Games / Re: Guess The Job Of The Next Poster by Nickydrake(m): 8:55am On May 07, 2012 |
Right on that one. Next Poster works as a counsellor for depressed and suicidal livestock. |
Forum Games / Re: Reply Signatures. ~ by Nickydrake(m): 2:11am On May 07, 2012 |
Hello, i'm Kobe Bryant and i'd like to have a mad squeeze with you, too. |
Forum Games / Re: Give The Poster Above Your An Hobbie! by Nickydrake(m): 2:08am On May 07, 2012 |
Chimezie198: Farting Picking your nose with a set of cutlery. |
Family / Re: How Supportive Was Your Significant Other While You Were Pregnant? by Nickydrake(m): 4:32pm On Apr 27, 2012 |
I've always thought that when that time came, i'd go with her to the ward or wherever it is they harvest the babies, stand at her side, hold her hand. I'd close my eyes and feel every nerve tremble, every vein bulge. Experience every tide of pain that sweeps through her body in my mind's eye.... That way, I'd be sufficiently equipped to tease her about the whining and squirming all the days of our lives without fear of the usual ''you don't know what it's like'' rebuttal. Now i know different. Or do i? |
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