ROFLMAO

They look like my neighbors on a Friday night - passed out on the floor, windows/doors all open, yansh all exposed!

TGIF!!!

my laptops
working out
music

oyinda.:


you're serious  hahahaha

Yeah, I'm serious, she was all over the news.
http://www.kctv5.com/news/18750792/detail.html

Could be luck, physics, God or The Universe looking out for him - depends what you choose to believe.

Some chick's weave saved her from a bullet here in the states. If her life were to be examined, I'm sure a lot of Naija Christians would say she was a sinner etc. Was this an act of God, or was it simply luck, a good(or maybe bad, depending on who you ask) weave, or physics? We'll never know, but one thing's for sure, it wasn't her time.

The Pastor is lucky he survived and if being born again makes him a kinder, more compassionate, human being, then it sounds like a win-win situation. Hopefully, he'll use his influence and second chance at life to preach love and not hate, dressed up In Jesus Name.

michelin89:

If N.C. stands for New York City I might understand why his parents won't allow him out.

Abeg, leave NYC alone, we are not even in the top 15 most dangerous cities or states.

@ poster, your parents are probably just worried about you, plus you are next door to S.C. and North Charleston has a very high crime rate(10th most dangerous in the country). As a teenager, parents often seem like a pain you know where. All you can do, is do well at school, maybe get a part-time job and start saving towards your own place - then you will really be grown. For now, you have to live according to their rules.

If you haven't been acting out, talking to your parents might help, maybe you can get your bed time/curfew extended, at least at weekends. It's usually give and take, most parents are willing to be reasonable, if you are living up to your end of the bargain. If they are Nigerian parents, I'm sure education is extremely important to them, so do well at school and watch your language.

You will be 18 in 2 years - then you can move out and run wild, if you want. Right now, you are still a minor and they are legally responsible for your well-being.

Dede1:



What need is of the brain when we can not respect our elders irrespective of the elder’s social strata in the community? Please spare me the crap about being created with brain.

There was a culture that made it possible that you were born by bounding your forebears to live together as man and woman. I hope you would not expect any form of respect from nobody because respect they say begets respects.

I am well off with culture of my people and very impressed that the areas that needed moderations have been addressed and will continue to be tweaked. 

Please be informed that when person is pointing a finger at another person, the pointer is invariably pointing the remaining of the four fingers at him or herself.

You are the living example of the culture and tradition of your people, if you do not appreciate them, I suggest a chill pill.

Actually, that is the beauty of forums like this. We are saying the same thing, in a round about way, give or take a few differences. You, obviously, would rather it were done at home and not in public, which is where I disagree.

I believe in respecting elders, just not blindly. If an elder doesn't respect themselves, then I don't want my kids to get mixed messages, by having to kneel before said elder. In my opinion, I would seem kinda psycho, to tell my kids to say no to drugs and then have them kneel before a 50yr old crack dealer. Or teach my son to respect females, yet he has to prostrate before the known wife beater in the family. That's all I'm saying, each family usually has their own set of rules and values. You are entitled to yours, I am entitled to mine. I just don't subscribe to hypocrisy. When I speak about culture and values, I'm usually looking at it with our kids and youth in mind.

As far as pointing four fingers at one self, if that's the case, then what's so wrong with some self-examination? Without introspection, which can be very humbling, we don't grow. My ego is not that big or fragile, as to assume there is no room for improvement. You've pretty much stated the same thing, so we agree on that. The difference, again, being, should we do it publicly or privately? I think that's a personal choice.

I appreciate the culture and tradition of my people, I just don't have to agree with, or apply each and every one to my life. Again - a personal choice.

As far as taking a chill pill goes, none needed here. I've always believed there's nothing wrong with a good debate, we can agree to disagree. Those, who use words like[i] irresponsible dullard blinded to irredeemable stupidity[/i], would seem more in need of a chill pill, or at the very least, some honest introspection.

Again, we are all entitled to our opinions, so I respect yours, my brother, I just won't apply them to my life.

Appreciate the debate and have a great weekend!

deardoc:

hi,
its dangerous losing weight too fast,most cases end up with a rebound effect. i agree with ify,no heavy meals after 7pm,if you have to take something,make it a fruit or some vegetables.include a lot of high fibre in your diet and reduce your serving portions take a lot of water.There's something called the water therapy,find out what the water taking regime is like.Irrespective of how you look,BE CONFIDENT
all the best.
cheers

Recent studies suggest there is no real evidence to back up the no meals after 7 or 8pm theory. Besides, it all depends on what time you go to bed. Eat 5 -6 small meals a day, with your last meal being a light one. Eating every 2-3 hours boosts your metabolism.

Avoid processed foods and as some say, the white stuff - this means substituting brown rice for white, wholewheat bread and pasta for white etc. It is not about eating no carbs, but eating better carbs(which means low glycemic index). Instead of potatoes, eat sweet potatoes(naija) or yams(usa). If you eat naija food, try brown rice flour instead. Quinoa flour can be added to brown rice flour, as well. Bean flours can be added to amala etc to increase nutritional value and give you more protein.

Your last meal should have the least amount of carbs, so start your day with a healthy breakfast(oatmeal with fruit and nuts is a good one) and taper your carbs.

Aerobic exercise is key, at least 30 mins, 5 times a week. If you can add some light weight training to that, building muscle helps burn fat. You want your body to constantly burn fat.

I have more proven tips and can go on, but I dey go chop. If any of you need more tips, let me know.

Good luck

Try Organic Apple Cider Vinegar(not Heinz or the grocery store brand, unless it is Organic, must have the Mother in it for best results), leave in for 30 mins to 1hr, then rinse out. The enzymes and acid in ACV kill the bottle bacillus bacteria, responsible for many hair and scalp conditions.

Tea Tree Oil, another natural anti-dandruff treatment, can also be used afterwards.

Geography alone suggests that Jesus was not white, certainly not blond with blue eyes and last time I checked lamb's wool was nothing like silky blond flowing locks.

Yes, it shouldn't matter to true Christians what colour he was, when he was physically on earth. What does matter is the fact that caucasians felt it necessary to use the image of a white Jesus. In other words, lie. So what else in the so-called christian teachings is a lie, or has been misrepresented?

If you think the image of a white Jesus did not help further colonialism, then think again. It is deeply embedded in the psyche of many black people and has subconsciously led to many seeing the white race as superior. After all, we bow down to a blond, blue-eyed, Jesus. I think this is the point people try to make, when stating the fact that Jesus was not white.

If colour doesn't matter, then teach your kids that Jesus was more than likely brown skin with hair more similar to ours. After all, what's important is the message, right? Especially, when it is pointed out that Jesus wasn't white.

If the Bible and Christianity are about truth, then what's wrong with giving our kids the facts? Would a black or brown Jesus, somehow, be more difficult to worship?

Dede1:

Anybody who posted in support of castigating his or her culture is an irresponsible dullard blinded to irredeemable stupidity. Among the reasons Africans are disdained all over the universe is the inherent dislike of their fundamental form of behaviors that are even superior to alien cultures they embrace. My people say that a rejected person should not also reject oneself.

Granted that there are aspects of our culture that needed moderations does not embolden us to thrash our culture in public. My people say that any child that called his or her mother ugly invariably called his or her father stupid and declared him or herself a dunce. 

Most of the societal decadence that has fallen on us today is as a result of our shift from the dictates of our respective cultures. 

People are merely stating what they personally don't like. What's so wrong with that?
Are you suggesting that such discussions should only be held in private?

I was under the impression that we were created with brains, so we could use them. Blindly accepting any culture never leads to any kind of growth. There are positive and negative aspects of all cultures(African or Western) and these will vary depending on whom you ask. The good thing about threads like this, is that it makes us think - I guess that's so not part of Nigerian culture. I beg to differ, many great Nigerians have had questioning minds.

I do agree with you, that some Africans seem to think other cultures are superior to theirs, but I don't think that's what is going on here. It is just a discussion - some people have even learned things about other Nigerian cultures. Isn't that a good thing? It's funny how we tend to only see what we want to see and not what's actually there.

I prefer to take the positive aspects from my culture(and any others I might be exposed to), discard the negative(which is a personal thing), while maintaining my Nigerianness and my individuality.


The only thing is life that doesn't change, is change itself!

The husband is an insecure, abusive, control freak - abeg build your house!
You might have to run there someday with your kids, so make sure it is in your name only.

If you were in a loving, healthy, marriage, it would be slightly different. Even then, there is nothing wrong with a wife(or husband) investing in real estate, together or separately. As long as the household bills have been taken care of, I don't see an issue. In a loving relationship, whatever revenue comes from your investments will contribute towards the family's quality of life, so where is the problem?

More women need to take control of their financial affairs. Only an insecure man would have a problem with this. There is a question often asked by women in abusive relationships - "but where can I go?" Invest wisely, build your house and should you decide to leave, or he kicks you out for a younger mumu, after beating you black and blue, you'll have somewhere to go.

Think about your future and your kids

Some women nag, some men nag - it's often a sign of frustration.

Persistent nagging indicates a deeper problem and lack of communication in the relationship. Someone is feeling, unheard, unloved, taken for granted etc.

Learn to communicate effectively - which means talking and listening. Some people just don't know when to shut the F up. No one is always right.

I hate the fact that a lot of BS is accepted blindly, in the name of culture, so I love this thread.

I hate the fact that parents and elders are automatically given respect and almost revered, deserving or not. No child of mine will prostrate or kneel for some ashewo aunty or drunken abusive uncle. What does that teach them?

I hate the fact that parents can't bury their children. I would want the closure that comes with attending the funeral.

I hate the left-handed thing, which has already been touched - makes no sense to me.

I hate the fact that in some Nigerian cultures, women are subservient to men - this can be deadly in today's world of HIV/AIDS.

I hate the fact that a lot of Victorian values, which have very little or nothing to do with Africa, are held on to.

I hate the hypocrisy and denial, so deeply entrenched in our culture.

Not so much culture, but definitely a way of life - I hate the fact that religious fanaticism seems to have replaced intellect and that greed and corruption are damaging the very fabric of our societies.

email Cher and the other Witches of Eastwick

obviously the poster is just joking

I'm sure you can find broccoli in Nigeria.

I've had cauliflower, cabbage, aubergine, squash, etc in Ibadan, so I'm sure you can find broccoli in Lagos, Abuja, Ibadan or one of those places.

Just find out where the expats buy their veggies and I'm sure it will be there.

ThiefOfHearts:

Iya e ni stupid idiot. Omo ashewo oni Aids. 

Parents were "stong" which is why their son is LovePeddler that attends Player parties and lost his so called virginity to a Brazilian prostitute. Ode. Would have been better off an orphan.

abi o. like they are so sure of how ALL women reason. Rubbish.

Haba! Ki lo to yi You guys should calm down.

Can't we agree to disagree? What's really important are the kids. Name calling never gets us anywhere, we are all adults here.

Abeg now

See, I said it, she never said she couldn't cook!

Abeg Fedex me some to NYC

As I always say to people: Life and The Universe Have a Way Of Humbling The Most Judgemental/Prejudiced
So watch what you say.

It is often the homophobic name-calling parents that end up with gay children.

To those saying they would rather their 14yr old daughter be banged by the whole village etc. Have you really heard yourselves? That's child abuse! Most 14yr olds would have been impregnated by older guys - I guess that's ok in your books. Most people are born gay or lesbian, but there is a small percentage of women who find comfort in the arms of other women, as a result of trauma. So guess what? How ironic would it be, for your abused 14yr old daughter to turn out to be a 22yr old lesbian with a wife?

Children are gifts and should be loved and nurtured. Parents don't always have to agree with their kids, but should love them regardless.

It is very sad to see so many of our gay Nigerian kids fleeing the country, because of all this hatred and prejudice. Many of these kids have great minds, but don't feel they are welcome in their own country, so, they live in exile. We need as many great minds as we can in Nigeria - straight, gay or bi.

Whether you like it or not, there are gay Nigerians and no, they don't learn it abroad. They arrive in London and NYC every week along with the many young females, who have been sexually and physically abused. So, this was actually a good question to ask. Unfortunately, most of you prefer to live in cloud cuckoo land and not accept what is.

Some Nigerian kids are gay, bisexual and many of our daughters are being abused(which many of you seem ok with). This denial and hypocrisy is part of our psychosis as a nation and needs to be addressed.

Your kids need you to be loving, attentive, parents first and pastors later. There is a disproportionate number of Nigerians becoming dependent on alcohol and other drugs. This has nothing to do will Satan, but often a lot to do with trauma. Talk to your kids and find out what's really going on and be prepared to listen with an open mind and heart.

I have worked with these kids in organizations here and in England - your children are in pain. Get your heads out of the bible for a few minutes and be a parent, they need YOU.

I don't think marriage should involve sacrifice at all, not a healthy marriage anyway. But I am splitting hairs here, I think the word should be compromise, not sacrifice. Sacrifice often leads to resentment and bitterness, true compromise doesn't.

As far as early marriage goes, if both parties are mature, love each other, communicate effectively, respect each other, make compromises and are totally committed to the marriage, then it's all good.

Sacrifice: The wife wants to study ABC or pursue XYZ career, she totally gives it up to raise her kids and look after her husband. 20 years later she is bitter and twisted, mistreating her house-help, kids and husband, because she feels she has no real life/identity.

Compromise:  They both discuss what's best for the family, the wife decides to stay home and raise the kids, putting her dreams on hold. When the kids are a certain or the agreed age, the husband encourages the wife to go after her dreams. They grow old together, both fulfilled and happy, she doesn't withhold sex and they have a double-income.

Naija sha, na wah o!

What's all this testing BS? 2 people meet, they date etc, find each other sexually attractive and have sex - end of story. Are you guys only "test-driving" the ones that are husband/wife material? Nah, u Hot mofos are banging whoever you want, but think "test-driving" makes it sound better.

I respect those who choose to wait until they are married before having sex, they are called virgins(male or female). I also respect the choice of the rest of us, who are no longer virgins, but adults with healthy sexual appetites.

To each his own, if I were to give advice, I'd say marry someone sexually compatible. As for virgins, that's the virtuous gamble you are just going to have to take, hopefully, it will work out.

How many years una go dey "test-drive", PLEASE!

almost 3 whole pages of the 2 of you hijacking this thread - get a room already.

Back to the original subject - all kids needs love, so there's nothing wrong with parenting someone else's child. Just make sure you are up to the challenge, it's not for everyone, but that child might end up bringing you great joy.

I'll probably end up with 2 or 3 adopted kids.

This is the crap in Naija newspapers these days?

Using the scriptures to defend BS and archaic behaviour, but the same men will have forgotten about the scriptures, when they are cheating on their wives.

When are we going to start using our brains, which should have evolved by now, and stop quoting BS that has no bearing on life in 2009?

My sistas, please find men that are truly going to respect you and not treat you like we are still in Victorian times.

Thank God, my mother raised to be a strong Nigerian man, with a loving heart and strong mind of my own, not all this follow follow BS.

C2H5OH:

What exactly is being unfaithful, what is cheating, what is being an infidel. It's like we have so many names for something that is obviously not right.

You do realize I was being sarcastic, right?

Cheating is cheating, plain and simple.

MrBrownJay is right, it's all about communication.

How long have they been married? 3 times in 2 weeks doesn't sound like[i] a very bad sex life[/i] - but obviously it's not enough for him, so they should discuss it. Maybe a compromise can be reached - twice a week?

Is an affair cheating? HELL TO THE NO, it's just being unfaithful - what planet is your friend from?