₦airaland Forum

Lol. The elephant isn't bowing jare, it's standing and feeding. The elephant is in an enclosure, but the persons are standing on a raised platform the edge of which lay the grass. Stop deceiving the gullible!

cornelin:
Tanx bro. But how is this supposed "Nobody" still able to post post comments and create topic after account deactivation?

if a person deactivates, his name changes to Nobody in all his posts. That's why there's Nobody everywhere, stuff posted by people before deactivation.

Beamborla:
Lol...you just dey eye my alawee. Bobo yi, kolewerk

I knew it would boil down to the issue of preference but I still love to see that day where black skin isn't considered second to light skin and where people consider black skin just as attractive as light skin.

It's good too know you love em' ebony

that day is already here na. Some prefer dark skin and some others are indifferent. Abi you want everyone to prefer dark skin to a light one?

Na alawee be the koko na. If you lose it in a bet, you wouldn't get into another argument again

cornelin:
Bro am totally ignorant about it... Maybe you could be if help? He is the only one that I've found with this trait.

its part of the Nairaland programing. Simple explanation is that once a person deactivates his/her account, he/she becomes Nobody. Nobody does not exist

How can the judge give 9 years for all 5 counts? In the Nigerian criminal code, rape alone is life imprisonment and even an attempted rape is 14 years.

This is no justice jare.

Beamborla:
My 'alawee'? Hell no! Let's leave it at the khaki.

Maybe I was wrong when I mentioned it's just one person so far...
Like I mentioned earlier, you still don't get my point. It's one thing to say black is ugly and it's another to prefer light skin over dark skin.

Most people don't find dark skinned ladies as attractive as they find light skinned ladies. I hope this conveys my message.

Reason I used this illustration, if you are light skinned and ugly, you could still earn a pass mark... 'at least she is fair in complexion' 'if no be say she fair, she for worwor' 'she no fine jor, na her fair skin dey help her'. If you are dark skinned and ugly, you don't get to enjoy such privilege rather, your dark skin makes the ugliness more pronounced...'she no fine and she still black join'

From those expressions, I hope you see my concern.

I didn't use no one, what I wrote was people who are guilty of rating dark skin second to light skin.

The fact that people do tell me I've got a nice skin doesn't mean they don't prefer light skinned ladies.

lol. I have no use for khaki anymore, else I might have considered it. You are not bad at logical arguments though. Good to know someone who doesn't just run away.

I'm pleased to inform you that I got your new point. If you had said so at first (instead of implying people dislike dark skin and are insincere when they say Black is Beautiful), there wouldn't have been an argument at all. I don't think it's an issue that some people would prefer lighter skin. Everyone has a right to preference as long as they don't try to shove it down the throats of others, rubbish opposite views, or even demean the persons involved.

The above claims do not apply to me though. I believe character is the more important thing but a pretty dark-skinned lady is more likely to get a second glance from me than pretty light-skinned lady. Personal preference. Glossy dark skin is yummy like chocolate

Beamborla:
I'm actually one of the black skinned ladies who get compliments on their skin. My argument is not based on emotion

On this forum, only one person so far has been referred to by people as an albino because of his skin color. Yes, sometimes an extremely fair person is accused of bleaching. What I make of that, story for another day. Nevertheless, most times, smth negative about that person is involved.

Omotola and Jenevive picture was once uploaded on this forum and majority went for Omotola. A handful, Jenevive and few seem indifferent about the skin color. A thread asking guys to chose between fair skinned and dark sinned lady once came up and the same thing still played out. For me, Mrco.rk does not count in this issue.

I'd use my people as an example. You hear majority of them saying things like 'Omo Pupa' fair skinned and it's often in admiration while when they say this; 'Omo dudu' the chances that it's said in admiration or insult is 50:50.
It's no secret which skin complexion is favoured by most of the South Easterners.

I agree that not everyone is guilty of this. Some even do it unconsciously...I'm not talking from limited experience. Present a man with a beautiful fair skinned and a beautiful dark skinned lady...I can be my khaki that he would go for the light skinned.

if I'm that man, you'd have successfully lost your khaki. I have a preference for dark skin (but I acknowledge and respect differing preference). That's why I tackled your first post where you implied that there's no one chating "Black is beautiful" who truly believes it. Don't presume to know what goes on in the minds of others. You only have access to yours.

So you even have people complimenting your colour and you are arguing that people do not truly think darkskin is beautiful? You believe they are all lying, right? Or perhaps you think yourself so stunning that they 'forgive' your complexion. Or maybe you just think it's inconsequential that people have praised your complexion... It's the ones against it that count, right?

Persons who think darkskin is ugly are simply louder as are many critics . There are a considerable number of persons who prefer darker skin. You are the one reading meaning into every expression and drawing conclusions.

Only one person so far? See what I said about you making assumption based on limited experience? You assume you've read every post since NL inception and know their content. Are you willing to bet your next FGN 'alawee' that it's just one person? If you are right I'd give you the equivalent.

cornelin:
pls, I have always wanted to ask that y is ur username not clickable? Could it be cos it's simply "nobody?" or are you a spirit?

hehehe... You are kidding right? You no be new comer before o

Why bother? At the current rate of inflation, N20 and N10 would soon be useless like N5. Fix the economy first

Beamborla:
You got it all wrong.


This is way different from your interpretation.
The point is, a dark skinned lady often come second to a fair skinned lady. While a fair skin could earn a pass mark even if the lady is facially plain, it's not so far a dark skinned lady... Comments like 'she no fine but I like her dark skin is hard to come by'

You know why I asked for an estimate? To show you that the 'few' and 'majority' you've been talking about is an offshoot of limited experiences.

Do you know that some persons on this NL call some light-skinned persons albinos? Do you think that's a compliment? If you doubt me, run a Nairaland search on albino. Some others accuse anyone that's very light-skinned of being a "low-esteem bleacher". Yet when one tries to remember persons obsessed with skin colour, it's easy to mention Mr Cork as anti-darkskin. Why? He's louder than most.

What's more, when something touches us personally it's easier to notice and remember it. I guess you've gotten negative vibes about your complexion and you think light-skinned persons are always on the greener side of the comments fence.

LoveMe4real:
Do you need an estimate to know dark skin is condemned in all parts of Nigeria? From the north to south, God help you if you are ugly and dark on top. Nobody remembers black is beautiful
But people dont even chant fair is beautiful because deep within them they dont think its necessary to. But thats a distorted mindset.

People may not openly condemn dark skin but if they bleach and give all honour and glory to fair skin, it means they have done that in their hearts

I don't do emotional arguments jor. I know why I asked her for a number estimate. Most times we confuse frequency with population. If one hears something frequently, it doesn't necessarily mean the people saying it are by far the majority. Anyway, dark skin isn't condemned where I come from. I have some really dark relatives and they haven't gone bleaching/toning their skins either.

The Black is Beautiful chant didn't originate in Nigeria, so don't expect a fair-is-beautiful equivalent. It has its roots in anti-racism campaigns.

Beamborla:
Sir, very few persons are not guilty of this.
It's not limited to men alone even ladies are guilty as well.

give me a number estimate. How many Nigerians have you met that condemned dark skin as ugly?

Beamborla:
The OP is only trying to make a point.

People would excuse an ugly fair lady for her skin color.
'She no fine but she's fair in complexion'...'Na only her skin complexion dey help her'.

But if you are dark and ugly, you've committed an unpardonable crime...'she no fine, she still come black join'

Yet these same set of people don't waste time when it comes to chantting black is beautiful.

The ugliness of a fair lady is always detached from her skin color while for a dark lady, well, it's just one of her ugliness

don't try to make it sound like it's universal opinion. Popular opinion, yes... Universal, no. Negative people usually have louder opinions, so you'd hear it far more often.

LoveMe4real:
Okay o. I always mind my business sha...just said i should talk about it today.

They way some people badmouth others is very bad for people's esteem.

well, people would always talk. You could let them define who you are or you could choose to see yourself differently. A woman who is confident in her skin is appealing to the mind... ok, my mind

LoveMe4real:
Ok. Thanks.
So how do you see beauty pls?
And do you think only fair skin is attractive or we are just brainwashed?

for me, a beautiful woman is appealing to both my eyes and my mind. Has to to be both of them, not just my eyes. So I usually prefer to just say a lady is pretty.

I can't answer your second question. I do have my preference, but it's not my place to determine the correct view of beauty. If a person thinks a light skin is what beauty is, fine. If they think the opposite is the case, fine. Just don't bug the next person with it.

Nice reasons but I'd pass. Unless she's just slightly extroverted and isn't thoughtless in speech and actions like most extroverts. They are good as friends (not a best friend) and acquaintances. Any closer than that and their company becomes energy draining.

LoveMe4real:
but would her skin still be beautiful if she is not beautiful. Because as you can see she has nice looks even if she was not dark she will still be beautiful. Lets say an ugly girl has the same skin colour, will you separate her skin colour from her ugliness like many nigerians would if she was fair?

yes, an 'ugly' girl can have beautiful skin. I think 90% of the time, when people mention beauty, they simply mean a pretty face. Facial features (eyes, nose, mouth, cheekbones etc) determine how pretty her face would look, but that has nothing to do with having beautiful skin.

An attractive skin can make the face look more attractive, but attractive facial features cannot make the skin any more attractive than it already is.

That said, I do not see beauty the way most people do.

She would be foolish to bleach that beautiful skin

ButteredBiscuit:
[color=#2ecc71]
You are not gonna make me do anythin' with this Jedi-mind-trick you tryna unleash on me
.....[/color]

lol. Oya dey go na

ButteredBiscuit:
[color=#f06292]Is 2 and that's the last I'll say on it. Good-bye. [/color]

yeah, run off. You know you can't defend your words.

Zceesneh:
see jamb question

agreed. Answer. When we both read 'true love' we might not imagine the same thing. I can't assume I know what you mean by true love.

ButteredBiscuit:
[color=#2ecc71]I dang well didn't
......
I don't believe in "true love" because realistically speaking there is not just 1 person you'll fit with.
There are many good fits.
But you can only have 1 (unless you a cheater)
......
And love is a action/what you do...any1 can display it.....[/color]

Love is not an action.

Zceesneh:
I don't believe in true love, so over to you Romancelanders, do you believe in true love?

depends on what you think true love means. What do you think it means?

party:
90% most girls who turn their backside on their d.p or profile pictures are hoes . Not saying its applicable to all but the chances are high that she is.

Also, not all how's do that because they have no backside to flaunt or they're very coded about it.

who is a hoe?

DeLioncourt:
lol. like an onion

anyway...if i do decide to let her go, do you think I should let her know all these things? or will it be better to just end things like I wasn't feeling it anymore?
what will be the most suitable way considering how she will feel after?

it depends on the outcome you desire.

If you try to end things like you aren't feeling it anymore, chances are she'd think it has something to do with her past offense and would try to talk or beg or cry you out of it. Either that or she'd think you are a jerk.

You seem a highly reflective person, so that method would not be satisfying for you even if you are able to pull it off. In your shoes, I'd take her somewhere nice where she can't freak out too much or get physical, then tell her everything (yes everything), making sure to highlight how everything makes me feel. Then if I'm still interested in her, I'd leave it open to her to decide whether to stay and try to help me get over my trust issues or jump ship. You may have to play on her emotional side here sha, afterall "all is fair in love and war." Whatever the outcome, you'd have let out the steam you've been bottling up, and you'd be better for it.

DeLioncourt:
not blaming her and i'm not doing her a favor. i guess you replied with some level of annoyance. i titled my thread "i'm ruining my relationship" because i know it is on me.
And yes, I decided to cheat because I felt it would make me feel better. Same way people resort to drugs and alcohol.

yeah, I was irritated. I don't like seeing people act self-righteous over something they are also guilty of.

Alright, think of hers the same way too. She decided to cheat because it would make her feel better (she was in the mood and needed to satisfy the craving). It's like taking a drug to stop one's headache.

Why is it you can justify your action but can't justify hers? Is it because she hasn't found out the way you found out?

I think you should let her go. Your relationship would never go back to normal, because you are holding on too tightly to your victim status and you are wrapped up in your own emotions like an onion.

They may not technically be lies.

1) Only a few guys start hitting on a girl the moment he first sees her. So if he says you are familiar, it may just be that you look like that lady (you) he saw 5 mins ago or a day ago and has plans for.

That person in your mirror is actually still you, but is still called your IMAGE abi?

2) When he says he just wants to be friends, he isn't talking about future plans but that moment. Yeah the future could be the first date and then he would want a little something extra. Stick with the present please. Thank you.

3) He may truly be single at that moment. If you don't know him, how do you know he's lying?

4) "It's complicated" is never a lie. You are the one assuming he's talking about his relationship. Maybe he's referring to the act of telling you about his relationship status or the way the truth would complicate things.

5) No two guys are the same, technically. If you doubt it, try matching his fingerprints with other guys you know.

6) Girls aren't clones of each other either. It's true that every girl is technically different.

DeLioncourt:
[b]Hey guys.
I have a girl I've been dating for over a year. I believe I love her deeply although I don't know how its supposed to feel but I can do anything in my capacity for her. We've had some rough patches...things that would break up normal relationships (not cheating oo...cheating is small sef)...but we are still together. She cheated and some point and I found out. She begged me to forgive her and all... I did cos I really do love her.
However, I have two problems.
1. I have the grandfather of all trust issues.
2. I'm cheating on her.

After her cheating incident, the two problems were triggered. At first, I cheated cos i felt that was the only way to get over it...
I still love her...more than any girl i've been with but I still don't have the heart to trust her.
The sad part is, she seems to trust me completely. I once told her I had a girl come over to the house and she laughed it off. Said I should try a more believable prank.

How can I deal with the trust issue?? I feel it is ruining my relationship.[/b]

deal with your cheating issues first. If you are not trustworthy yourself, you'd never see any reason to trust anyone else. You have no right to sit in judgement of her when you aren't any better as the turn of events have proved.

You didn't cheat on her because she cheated on you. You cheated because you wanted to cheat. You are behaving like a lady, blaming your partner for your own deliberate decision to cheat, pretending it was some form of revenge.

If you can't get past her cheating, just let her go. Don't act like you are doing her a life-saving favour by sticking around.

Been seeing this tale and I doubt it's possible to plunge headfirst into wedding without knowing the truth about one's partner basic details. If the story is true, she's a very very careless person.

I dunno why I find pre-wedding photos unnecessary, especially when you splash the internet with it. What exactly it's purpose?

You are asking of the IDEAL husband and you are presenting "a womanizer and a puncher" as the options? Are you serious right now?