₦airaland Forum

Johnny fancied a girl in his office, 

but she belonged to someone else… One day Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said: I'll give you a N10000 for sex, but the girl said NO. Johnny said: I'll be fast, I’ll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the time you pick it up. She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend so she called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend says ask him for N20000, pick up the money very fast, he wont even be able to get his pants down. So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour goes bye and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call. Finally after 50 mins the boyfriend calls and asks what happened. She said the bastard used coins! 




The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, "This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door? "The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled by the question. As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and zipped it up. He then understood his assistant's question about his "garage door." He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, "When my garage door was open, did you see my Hummer parked in there? "She smiled and said, "No, I didn't. All I saw was an old mini van with two flat tyres!




At school, a boy was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth".

The boy decides to go home and try it out. He goes home, and as he is greeted by his mother he says, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father." Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say aword to your mother." Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day, when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth."

The mailman says "Then come give your father a BIG HUG! 

@ ituen , who be ur wife?

ituen was the first Nairalander to test positve to HIV.

@ clemcykul , No !

@ clemcykul , how u take know? u dey see me?

@ lightest ,  when u were on top night----e and u where screaming instead of her 

@ clemcykul, why are u looking for my trouble?

I thought you stopped stealing chicken way back in secondary school,, and ur best part was the liver, stupid Ole fowl like u

@ tufe , why u go see liver chop wen ur guy clem do steal the whole fowl?

SPECIAL ANOUNCEMENT!!!!!!!

Nairaland is paying $1Million to every member who has sent more that 1,000 post. Contact me for your money.

Good friends indeed,  look as Tufe dey cover Ituen back, so una think say na una the joke dey talk about? well, e fit be sha ooo

clemcykul & tufe , Service na the thing una dey do with those Sam wives the time wen he dey busy dey ban people up and down , but now he is not around and has gone home, but wait oo

i wonder watin he dey do right now

Crazy but not senseless,

A guy was driving on 3rd Mainland Bridge and all of a sudden one of the back tyre pulled off, he was able to bring the car to safety and was able to get the tyre and he was faced with a situation, he was thinking of how to get the nuts to fix the tyre back on,, and not too far away was a mad man who came to him and said,

Yeye man, see as you dey look like mumu, go take one nut each from the other tyres and use them fix this one make u dey go your house before robbers come meet you here.




A little boy called Tuf got a gift from his dad, and the gift turned out to be a very Big Dog instead of a puppy, Tuf ran off to call his friend Itu and ask him to touch the Dogs head and his friend Itu asked,

Itu : does it bite?

Tuf : that is why I asked you to touch the head

That's what friends are for !!!!!!!!!!!!

@ aristole , why u nor go talk like that after some serious service by that person? yeye 

@ ituen, thanks jare, na only u I see say get some humour for head, the others na old bread dey inside their head, maybe na una best part of Nigerian movies be ‘‘ to God Be The Glory’’

and dem nor dey fear to insult me.

all of una nor well at all at all

To God Be The Glory !

That is what we see at the End of each Nigerian Movie,

But when will it ever be the Title of a Movie?

And I hope it will have Part 2 and 3 

**** all views supported******

But I still think that position (The Moderator) shouldn't be empty ,,,, what is going on?

No wonder there was riot in their village or , ? i don help am finish the statement.  

Who wants Kuvukiland Passport ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

@ ztyle, complete the statement na, BEWARE OF what? DOGS, CATS , SNAKES, etc

Any Person wen dey look for his or her missing Kuvukiland Passport or wants a New Passport for a very cheap fee should contact me ,

Just being nice and willing to help out

@ clemcykul , Na wah ooo , she did not tell us how many Dreadlocks Rasters balls and bald balls she don see b4,, or even the ones wen carry punk hair cut, the one with waves etc. This thread go long nor be small

@ ituen , i nor dey ooooooo

@ olulu, your advice is good,  some guys will not even remember the thing called condom. AIDS IS REAL !!!!!!!!

@ ituen, ask me, the little boy got his Brains thinking too fast

Reminds me of a kid,

His Teacher always calls him Coconut Head, and one day the Teacher brought out Garri and was about mixing it in water with sugar and the little Boy jumped out of the class room through the window and made an attempt to run home but was later brought back to the classroom by some bigger pupils.

when asked why he had to jump through the window and run, he replied;

I looked at the table and our Teacher had only Garri and sugar, no groundnuts , no fish. I got scared and thought that the Teacher was going to use my Head to eat the Garri because he always refers to my Head as a Coconut head.

@ SAM, which of the symptoms? they are many oooo, be specific

@ SAM, protect ur head , is what i mean

*****Flying balls******** speed limit 360 km/h

make una protect una heads ooo, those balls are very hard and rugged, they can cause serious damage  

Una do well ooo, no need to fight naijastyle again as una all don help us fight everything , naija, how far na? we need ur balls for another game oo, but this time na to use dem take stone people like SAM, tufe , tytylayor , saucekid for their head , so that dem go stop this their grammar fight

Sam, why half?

@ gilgee , hahahahahahaha u are a very good hunter!!!! u set trap for the bush and now now u don dey catch Bushmeat

ok, somebody should fourth the motion too