₦airaland Forum

MATTERS CONCERNING MARRIAGE (NIKAH)
by Abul Rashid Geloo

As Muslims, we have no choice but to conduct all our affairs and lives according to the teachings of Islam based on the Al-Qur'aan and Sunnah (Hadith). If we do not, then we are guilty and questionable to Allah and His beloved Prophet Muhammad (Salallahu Alayhi Wassalam). In fact, our total success in this world and the hereafter depends in following the teachings of our beloved Prophet (Salallahu Alyhi Wassalam). It is therefore very important that we acquaint ourselves with the necessary knowledge regarding all affairs including Nikah, which is one of the most important institutions in Islam.

The following are just a few extracts from the Qur'aan and Hadith which prove the importance of Nikah and the dangers of delaying or abandoning it.

QUR'ANIC VERSES & HADITH REGARDING MARRIAGE

Our beloved Prophet Muhammad (Salallahu Alyhi Wassalam) has said, "O youthful people, if any of you have the means to, he should get married, as it lowers the eyesight and protects the private parts. Those who have not the ability to do so should fast, as it will be a shield for him." (Bukhari and Muslim).

The prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) has also said, "When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied, asks to marry your daughter, comply with his request. If you do not do so, there will be corruption and great evil on earth." (Tirmidhi)

Allah's Apostle Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) said, "O followers of Muhammad! There is none, who has a greater sense of Ghira (self-respect) than Allah, so He has forbidden that His slave commits illegal sexual intercourse or His slave girl commits illegal sexual intercourse. O followers of Muhammad! If you but knew what I know, you would laugh less and weep more!" (Volume 7, Book 62, Number 148: Narrated 'Aisha)

The Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) said, "Everyone of you is a guardian and everyone of you is responsible (for his wards). A ruler is a guardian and is responsible (for his subjects); a man is a guardian of his family and responsible (for them); a wife is a guardian of her husband's house and she is responsible (for it), a slave is a guardian of his master's property and is responsible (for that). Beware! All of you are guardians and are responsible (for your wards)." (Volume 7, Book 62, Number 116: Narrated 'Abdullah bin 'Umar)

The Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) decreed that one should not try to cancel a bargain already agreed upon between some other persons (by offering a bigger price). And a man should not ask for the hand of a girl who is already engaged to his Muslim brother, unless the first suitor gives her up, or allows him to ask for her hand. (Volume 7, Book 62, Number 73: Narrated Ibn 'Umar)

The Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) said, "Beware of suspicion (about others), as suspicion is the falsest talk, and do not spy upon each other, and do not listen to the evil talk of the people about others' affairs, and do not have enmity with one another, but be brothers. And none should ask for the hand of a girl who is already engaged to his (Muslim) brother, but one should wait till the first suitor marries her or leaves her." (Volume 7, Book 62, Number 74: Narrated Abu Huraira)

We were with the Prophet while we were young and had no wealth whatever. So Allah's Apostle (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) said, "O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power." (Volume 7, Book 62, Number 4: Narrated 'Abdullah)

Abu Huraira (Radhiyallahu Anhu) has reported Allah's Messenger (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) as saying: A woman may be married for four reasons: for her property, her status. her beauty and her religion, so try to get one who is religious, may your hand be besmeared with dust. (Book 8, Number 3457)

The Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) said, "A matron should not be given in marriage except after consulting her; and a virgin should not be given in marriage except after her permission." The people asked, "O Allah's Apostle! How can we know her permission?" He said, "Her silence (indicates her permission)." (Volume 7, Book 62, Number 67: Narrated Abu Huraira)

"It is He who created you from a single person, and made his mate of like nature, in order that he might dwell with her (in love)" (Surah 7, Al A’raf, The Heights: 189)

"It is He who created man from water: then has He established relationships of lineage through marriage:
for Thy Lord has power (over all things)." (Surah 25, Al Furqan, The Criterion: 54)

"And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are signs for those who reflect." (Surah 30, Al Rum, The Romans: 21)

The Marriage Process in Islam

Before Marrying

Selecting a Spouse

The first thing we should look for when marrying is how committed the person is to Islam. Our beloved Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) said, "A woman is normally sought as a wife for her wealth, beauty, nobility, or religiousness (adherence to Islam), so choose a religious woman and you will prosper." (Muslim) "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a loser."(Bukhari) "The whole world is a provision, and the best object of benefit of the world is the pious woman. (Muslim)

The same holds true when looking for a husband, as our beloved Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) said, "When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied, asks to marry your daughter, comply with his request. If you do not do so, there will be corruption and great evil on earth." (Tirmidhi)

Of course, both parties have to agree to marry one another and they can not be forced to marry one another. Our Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) said, "A woman whom has been previously married has more right concerning herself than her guardian, and a virgin’s consent must be asked about herself…" (Bukhari and Muslim)

Rules of Al-Khutbah (Request to marry a woman and the acceptance of the proposal)

The man has permission to see her face before agreeing to marry as the Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) said, "Go and look at her (the woman you are considering marrying) because this will help your time together to be strengthened." (Ahmad)

After a man and woman have agreed to marry, they have to remember that the man is still not her mahram (men including her father, brothers, sons, maternal and paternal uncles, and nephews). This means they can not still deal with one another as partners in anyway (such as shaking hands, gazing at one another, being alone together, going out together, etc.), or go out with one another as we see people in the west doing. The Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) said, "Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him not have a private audience with a woman without her mahram." (Ahmad)

The Wedding Ceremony (Nikah)

Components

1 – Consent: ‘Aishah (R) asked the Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) if women must be asked for their permission of marriage. The Prophet (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) replied, "Yes". She said, ‘The virgin is asked for her permission but she gets shy. Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) said, "Her silence is her permission." (Bukhari and Muslim)

2 – The Wallee (Woman’s Guardian): The Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) said, "There is no nikah except with a wallee." (Ahmad, Abu Dawood, Tirmidhi)

3 – Two Witnesses:The Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) said, "There is no marriage except with a wallee and trustworthy witnesses." (Sahih - Bayhaqee) Also, "There is no marriage except with a wallee and two witnesses." (Sahih Al-Jaami’)

4 – The Mahr (Dowry): Allah says (what means): "And give to the women their dowry with a good heart, but if they out of their own good pleasure remit any part of it to you, take it and enjoy it without fear of any harm." (Al-Nisa 4:4) The mahr can be of any amount, The Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) said, "Look for one even if it was an iron ring." (Bukhari and Muslim)

The woman is not obliged to give the man anything at the time of the wedding, as is done in some cultures.

Acts to be avoided

We should be careful to not act as the disbelievers do regarding their mixing of men and women, wearing tuxedos and white wedding gowns, exchanging rings, kissing in public, etc. The Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) said, "Whoever resembles a people is one of them." (Abu Dawood)

After the Wedding

Supporting One’s Wife

The man is responsible for providing for his wife, as Allah says (what means), "Let the wealthy man spend according to his means; and let the man whose provisions are restricted spend according to what Allah has given him. Allah does not burden a soul beyond what He has given it, and Allah will grant ease after a hardship." (Al-Talaq 65:7)

Islam even gives women the right to take secretly money from their husbands if they are not providing for them. Hind, the wife of Abu Sufyan, came to the Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) and said, "O Messenger of Allah, Abu Sufyan is a stingy man and does not give me and my children enough provisions except when I take something from him with out his knowledge." The Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) said, "Take what is reasonably sufficient for you and your children." (Bukhari and Muslim)

Educating One’s Family

Since the man has put in the position of providing for his family, he must also provide them with the proper Islamic education to keep them from the hellfire. Allah says (what means), ‘O you who believe! Save yourselves and your families from a fire whose fuel is men and stones (that were worshipped), over it are appointed angels stern and severe, who disobey not the Commands they receive from Allah, but do that which they are commanded." (Al-Tahrim 66:6)

Both the husband and wife should make sure their home is a place where Allah is remembered and His Commandments are reflected and acted upon. The Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) said, "The similitude of a home in which Allah is remembered and a home in which He is not is like the living and the dead." (Muslim)

The Wife Obeying Her Husband

A woman must obey her husband as long as he does not tell her to perform any haraam (unlawful) acts. Allah says (what means), "…the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in absence what Allah would have them guard." (Al-Nisa 4:34)

Kind Treatment To One’s Wife

Just because Allah has given men a position of authority does not give them the right to abuse it. They have to treat their wives in the best manner. Allah says (what means), "Live with them honorably." (Al-Nisa 4:19) The Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) said, "The believer with the most complete faith is the one with the best character, and the best of them are those whom treat their women the best. (Tirmidhi)

We can see from the seerah (biography) of the Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) that he would help his wives with housework and would engage in games with them as well.

This article did not cover all aspects of marriage, but it is hoped that it will be beneficial. May Allah forgive us for any mistakes we may have made in quoting the above verses and hadith. Ameen

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FURTHER ASPECTS OF MARRIAGE

A common custom among the people nowadays is for a girl or her parents to refuse a boy's proposal for reasons that the girl may first finish her high school education, college or some other studies. In light of the above Ayah and Hadith, what is the Islamic ruling regarding this attitude? What is the advice for those concerned?

Response: It is clear beyond the shadow of doubt that the importance of everything else is next to the importance of getting married. Getting married is and should be the first priority for everyone of marriageable age. Therefore, our advice to all young men and young women is to get married quickly without unnecessary delay. Do not be too fussy about petty matters. Put your trust in Allah and make your decision about the boy or girl you wish to marry. You will be guided to the correct decision, Insha-Allah.

This is because the Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) has said, "O youthful people, if any of you have the means to, he should get married, as it lowers the eyesight and protects the private parts. Those who have not the ability to do so should fast, as it will be a shield for him."

The prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) has also said, "When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied, asks to marry your daughter, comply with his request. If you do not do so, there will be corruption and great evil on earth." (Tirmidhi)

The Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) also said, "Marry the child-bearing, loving woman for I shall outnumber the peoples by you on the Day of Resurrection." This was recorded by Ahmad and graded sahih by ibn Hibban.

Therefore, there are many benefits to marriage which the Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) alluded to, including lowering the gaze, protecting the private parts, increasing the numbers of the Muslim Nation and being saved from great evil and misfortune.

May Allah grant to all what is best for their religion and worldly lives. He is All-Hearing, Close.

It is an important duty and responsibility for the parents to be concerned about finding suitable matches for their children. Allah knows Best.

The Ifa man will be poor in this life and hereafter! His cloth will be " pon bi Aparo ni", and in the day of Judgement will be thrown into the fire. I guess he will make his ifa work for him, in the fire of Hell.

« on: Today at 12:30:01 AM »

Saudi court tells girl aged EIGHT she cannot divorce husband who is 50 years her senior
by Daily Mail

First there should not be anyone forced to marry anyone. Islam as a religion is more important than marriage. Yet there is no compulsion in religion. With this there is no compulsion (by force) in marriage, too.

Reposted from:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1099447/Saudi-court-tells-girl-aged-EIGHT-divorce-husband-50-years-senior.html

A Saudi court has rejected a plea to divorce an eight-year-old girl married off by her father to a man who is 58, saying the case should wait until the girl reaches puberty.

The girl has not reached "puberty", hence this is a sham of marriage. Islam calls for marriage to be a thing that woman willing agrees to a man of her choice. So is the man agreeing to woman of his choice. Who makes the proposal or first move is not as important as freewill and mutual desire and acceptance, as long as the man is Muslim. Hopefully the woman is muslim, too. My Islam is from Qur'aan and Sunnah. Not from Arabian culture.

The divorce plea was filed in August by the girl's divorced mother with a court at Unayzah, 135 miles north of Riyadh just after the marriage contract was signed by the father and the groom.

The father is a lout. It is not his right to contract away the "right" (marriage) of his daughter; young or old. Thats her choice and it shows the ignorant of the father, and all the participants and the people in the know who did not refer them to the Book of Allah and the Sunnah of His Messenger (AS)!

Lawyer Abdullar Jtili said:"The judge has dismissed the plea, filed by the mother, because she does not have the right to file such a case, and ordered that the plea should be filed by the girl herself when she reaches puberty."

The ignorant Saudia Judge should have used his brain that the father, too, has no right to contract a marriage on behalf of the young woman, who has not reached Puberty! You see how the arab mentality, outside Islam is? If its not for Islam, they will still be worshipping Idols and still be killing each other on minor issues. Just like every society though, I must add, before the women pundits grab on to my speech, while forgetting the deficiencies in Christian societies and cultures and that of African cultures.

"She doesn't know yet that she has been married," Jtili said then of the girl who was about to begin her fourth year at primary school.

Allah's Messenger (AS), said that the pen is lifted on four: a youth who has not reached puberty is one of them. He or she is not being recorded especially for any evil deeds, yet. How come she could be taking for a person who could be married?

Relatives who did not wish to be named said that the marriage had not yet been consummated, and that the girl continued to live with her mother.

They said that the father had set a verbal condition by which the marriage is not consummated for another 10 years, when the girl turns 18.

Stupid and evil people, that includes the father who could not make things work according to Qur'aan and Sunnah.

The father had agreed to marry off his daughter for an advance dowry of £5,000, as he was apparently facing financial problems, they said.

Poor people with poverty way of thinking. This is a form of selling or slavery. Samething exist within any and all poor community around the world. Nigeria and or African christian community is not excluded.

The father was in court and he remained adamant in favour of the marriage, they added.

Mr Jtili said he was going to appeal the verdict at the court of cassation, the supreme court in the ultra-conservative kingdom which applies Islamic Sharia law in its courts.

Which part of Sharia is this? Sharia is gotten from Qur'aan in the way Sunnah and Hadith of Muhammad (as) explains it. Anything different is not Islamic.

Arranged marriages involving pre-adolescents are occasionally reported in the
Arabian Peninsula, including in Saudi Arabia where the strict conservative Wahabi version of Sunni Islam holds sway and polygamy is common.

Islam should not have what is called Wahabi, Sunni, Shi'a, etc in it.

In Yemen in April, another girl aged eight was granted a divorce after her unemployed father forced her to marry a man of 28.

Sick culture that those people who professed to be the flagbearer of islam should have discarded long time. Yet they still cling to the culture from the time of Ignorance.

Not Islamic value, but Arabic cultural value, passing for "Islamic value."

You show me an example of that as "Islamic value", I will show you my "Islamic value" that is just to women.
What I will want in return is your declaration of faith into Islam. I will do that sometimes today, Allah willing.

The Arabs, like the Jews and others, including the Europeans have their weird cultural values. Just like the africans, too.

Huxley knows about weird values. Maybe you don't know, but it does exist in every culture. Its 2.05 am my time, and I am busy for few hours. After that I will get my "Islamic Value" for you, separate and different for the "Ignorant value pf Arabia" which Islam erradicated from their mist. But this people go back to it when their blood thirsty and evil leaning tradition bleed through to the surface.

When a christian European or African or South American does some weird stuff, do we say its "Christian Value?" Think man.

We see that Monicaa did not say please holy ghost or please Jesus come down. It shows that when it really comes down to it, God is never internally equated to be Jesus or holy ghost. But of course, I know that. I am a muslim!

Its Allah Who performed the Miracle, through the hands of Muhammad (AS). Just like each of the Miracles performed by the Prophets, Messengers, of Old. Muhammads condition was not different.

So the makkans asked for amiracle; split this full moon, shining on this clear evening. So Muhammad, said Bismillahir Rahmanir Rahim, while he raised his fingers of the two hands. And separate them. The moon cracked and follow his fingers, as he directed the two pieces to opposite directios of two mountains.

The people in Arabia; makkans, and outside makka, and othr far away places saw the pieces of moon separate and apart from each other. People in Idia saw the pieces. And a King and his people in far away India became muslims because of what they witnessed.

Just like the way Al Nagashi of Ethiopia death was reported to the Prophet (AS), immediately that he did on the way in his journey to Makka, so that the first Salatul Ghaib (instead of Janazah) was made. The same way that the people in India who saw it, were previleged and became Muslims.

There is a Youtube piece about this.

funmilayo; iro iwo omode yi popu. lol.

You this disbelieving guy. Do you even wash up? Can you tell us your hygienic routine? I know africans know how to clean up. But your Oyinbo (lol) lifestyle may have taken all you were taught as african away from you. lol. I love playing with your atheist mind. I just throw monkey wrenches in it.

My main man Huxley. The Oyinbo african man.

You remind me of Aromolowo in his lying gimmick. Some day, I will debate the fake-like-you Ojoro Pastor.

Surah Baqarah ayah 45; Ogbeni pastor, if you are wrong, you become muslim, or when I come to Nigeria, I will use "koboko" to whip your keferi butts and back. Agreed? LOL.


I will use e padi ore da, Ijebu ki ku boro (Ibadan people statement about us, Ijebus), on you.

Terrible Pastor!

@Pastorgee: « #5 on: Today at 01:11:55 PM »

@ Ola,
You still don"t believe?
It shows the kind of spirit you have,
For he that curses shall be cursed!!
I want to believe you have hand in the terrorism
You believe in terrorism!
Because u need a change of heart!

The same way you falsely believe Jesus to be what he is not. The way the jews falsely accused Jesus. Go sedon man.

All i wanted u to know is that
wherever there are good people u"ll also get the bad ones!

You are the "bad" one here. LOL. If I have my way, I may just sue you for every penny your church has. You and your conregation will be working for me, as long as you and them shall live. haha.
okay

By+Pastorgee=11!

Man. If you are a real pastor, and just fakes like many of your "Pastor title bearers", tell me your congregation.
And then watch how many 1+1 congregants remain to listen to your lies from the pew, after i told them that you need medications! LOL. Madness at its core.

This is a madman. Verse 11 of Surah Taubah (9), does not say anything like that. This man belongs in Aro, alla Abeokuta. No civilized Hospital should take you in.

Olaadegbu: Answer the question. Unless you are denying that you do not have a god who is the father. And he is different from a god who is the son. yet he is different from the god who is the ghost! lol.

Am a muslim and I am a radical momotheist. There is a singular God in my life; Allah! Whats the name of your God?

And what does Qur'aan say about acceptance or rejection of other religions, apart from Islam in the day of Judgement? What does it say about the dialogue between Allah and Jesus in the day of Judgement? Who is the King of the day of judgement? Kola, I can ask you tons of questions. You will not find Jesus as more than a human messenger!

@Kola Oloye: If it is true that you understood Islam, now tell me how you chose three gods instead of One? Are you really better than a hindu, with your three god heads? lol.

Conclusion: you knew nothing about Islam. Jesus can't save anybody. Proof; he couldn't save himself. Evidence of his weakness: he begged and cried many times to a Lord greater and in complete Control of affairs of things. That included the affairs of your Jesus. Did you forget that Jesus cried out to a God, asking why he was abandoned and not help; Why has thou forsaken me?

Kola, please help me here. Or Christianity allows you what Islam forbade you, was your simple reason for leaving islam? Thank God, you are a simple and direct witness against Olaadegbu who proposes that all apostates are killed. Kola, Kola, kola (lol), you are still alive? Right? The muslims in your family have not killed you, yet.

And are your parents out of Islam, too, with you Uncle the Arabic school teacher?

@EarTHMama.

God bless you Olaadegbu.

Which God; father or son or ghost? Your chice is one and must be clear. It will render the other two as non-god! Iron fist and whip in hand lady. lol.

Am having fun with you. At least I can do that.

ask the people of Iraq, David. don't be so emotional. i know that azar is a correct name, compared to your ghost inspired entry. aburo, ma so wipe daddy nso, blah, blah, blah. lol.

I guess that Davidylan forgot that Ibrahim was not a Jew (a recent name for the children of israel), nor an israelite (the original collective name for the nations of people of the children of israel; jacob). Ibrahim was not a hebrew (if thats what the people of Jerusalem's of the land of palestines where during the period that he lived there), but a mesopotamian; a cultured people of the city of Ur from the modern day Iraq.

We should note that the Hebrew, the Israelite or the the Jew, none can lay claim on the truth about the name of the father of Ibrahim. His father was an idol worshipper. He did not emigrate with him, so everyone, Jews and christians are wrong about the name, but Allah by His Book, the AlQur'aan is correct. Note that Islam says Allah dictates Qur'an to Muhammad (AS) through malaika Jibril. And it was written down and memorized by the community, while Muhammad was alive.

But the Bible, OT and NT was claimed by the Jews or is it the claim of the Christians alone, that it the holy ghost that inspired the writers, to write them down, after many period of after the fact. And we see that the holy ghost have done a poor job of inspiring the writers to many different writings of the same Book.