₦airaland Forum

The girl secretly likes you as in likes you but you no observe her green light hence the attitude

You forgot to include Mr P of former psquare.That dude owes so many chains of business,just name it,Real Estate,Autos,Wines, lottery company and much more,Mr P is a real hustler,I doff my hat for him

Me I love women in lowcut.

Wow.God bless him

spiceadole:
Nigerian Police is useless.. if not, the husband should be thoroughly investigated.. he is a prime suspect.
This looks like a planned act.. The case of a man getting rid of his wife and children for whatever reasons.

Let the wife's family go underground to make findings... I won't be surprised to read "Man who lost wife and children in Jos fire incident marries late wife's best friend(with pregnancy sef)" in few months.

Exactly my point.i smell foulplay

I smell foulplay here in the fire but what do I know?We hardly investigate anything in nigeria.in other climes that fire would be throughly investigated to know if someone set up that fire.

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Am interested in this

You made a very big error by showing them your Resident card from Netherlands.They saw you as a big fish,don't ever make that kind of mistake again whenever you are in Nigeria.They could have seized the card from you o thereby leaving you stranded in Nigeria,be careful next time

I would really love a high class working lady.That intelligence turns me on

FAKE NEWS

Hello Everyone.This topic interests me a lot because it's related to my NGO project the boy child.A lot of boys went through different kinds of abuses while in boarding school.
I started the boy child project 2 years ago and we spread awareness of the challenges concerning the boy child. Project.
We are currently based in Europe but I am looking for like minded individuals in Nigeria who share the same passion about the boychild to work with.
Contact me on 0034698722581

Where is the Nigeria army "anger" when boko haram kills a soldier? Or is this so-called anger only reserved for civilians? Where is this their famous anger when the nation really needs it. Why don't the Nigeria military rise up and wipe out the boko haram members for killing soldiers. Nigeria military only seems to flex muscles when they face civilians.Who do us like this for Nigeria!!

If I may ask, why does the Judical committee have to have a retired police officer? Why? It's very wrong and negates the purpose of the panels. How can you put a representative of the very same organization (Nigeria police ) that you are investigating? Who does that??

I am not understanding o. The pictures of police officers i see on Instagram are always looking so neat and smiling. Young officers slaying on Instagram looking so neat police work go dey hungry you sef. Officers stepping out of clean cars etc. It's like there are two worlds inside the Nigeria police. Dem frank MBA, Abba kyari and other officers like that must be in a different police force then.

JERIZO:
Your first Mistake was having pre-marital sex. Pre-marital sex often leads to unwanted outcomes such as the one u are in right now and I hope most young people will learn from your experience.

Your 2nd Mistake was allowing yourself to be coerced into marrying someone you don't love all becos she is pregnant for u. Getting a lady pregnant out of wedlock is a mistake, marrying her is a bigger mistake especially, if both of u are not ready for marriage or don't love each other that much. I see people making this mistake all the time. U would have tried to correct the 1st mistake by taking full responsility for the child, but not marrying the lady. U can be involved in the child's life, u don't have to marry the mum to do that. The young lady can get married to another man while u take the child and do the same. There are cases like this and things go smoothly for everyone. When the child is grown, he/she would be made to understand what happened.

Note, Divorce is not an option in this situation. That would be making the 3rd mistake. When people get hit with challenges, the first thing that come to mind is; What's the easy way out? and once they find it, they use it not knowing they have only succeeded in compounding the problem.
Face ur challenges for once and work on it, don't chicken out. Think on how u can get the problem solved not how to runaway from it. Running away from it will only complicate ur life.
Get the divorce notion out of ur head completely and work on ur marriage. There are millions of unhappy divorce couples who took the "easy way out" and are still not happy today in another marriage.

How Do U fix this:
* To Find Love in ur marriage u both must first surrender ur life and marriage to Jesus. He alone can handle circumstances that are beyond us and do what may seem impossible to us. He would bring transformation into ur life and marriage, that would amaze u, if only u give Him the chance.

* U have to deliberately cultivate Love for ur Wife, She might not be the perfect one, but who is even perfect in the first place. Perfect couples are divorcing everyday. A marriage that works is one in which both parties understand that they are imperfect and forgive easily. Love her unconditionally. She might not be ur taste, just love her, with time ur love for her will begin to grow. Love is a seed that grows when planted. It doesn't matter the soil.

* Settle ur differences by self evaluation & communication.

Ask urself these questions:

What are the qualities I desire in a lady, that she does not possess?
Are these qualities realistic?(try to be reasonable)
If there are, How do I help her become what I want her to be?
What qualities does she possess that I adore ?( there's definately one)

Have Her answer the same questions about U, and help each other into grow into what u both desire.
If it is lack of education, She can go to school. If she has a character that irritates u, u both can talk it over and hope for a change. work on her!
Marriages are built into what u want it to be. U have to work it out.

* Get a good Counsellor to counsel both of u and read books that would help u build ur desired Marriage.

* I believe even the romantic aspect of ur relationship will develop, if u put all this into practice.

We could talk more if u wish.
I rest my case, but remember, u are not in an impossible situation.

Thank you so much for these suggestions. I will try them

etrange:
<deviation>
I also know the talk of "skin-to-skin dey sweet pass", "condom is for boys", "real man go raw and withdraw", etc. Maybe those are what you shouldn't have listened to. If, when looking back, the major mistake you see and regret is getting married to her, then you need to think some more because getting married to her (though avoidable) was a only a consequence of a bigger mistake. The deed has been done, selective regretting can gain you Nairaland sympathy but that won't change a thing in your life. So don't just say you regret getting married to her (that makes it look like she is the protagonist), regret going in raw (a mistake you both made).
</deviation>

Sorry for that deviation, I had to let it out.

Now, I'm not an advocate of sticking to marriage if both parties are not happy, it makes zero sense and it could turn violent easily. Having separated parents is much better for the kids than a violent home. If you guys aren't happy together, I'll advise you go your ways to avoid stories. You have to understand this could result to you not participating actively in your baby's upbringing; a price you pay for your freedom. We just can't have it all.

If she's happy and contented in the marriage, it gets more complicated. Kicking out a woman who is happily married to you with your kid is not an option. True you can't easily cultivate love and you can't find what was never there but if what you don't like is her classlessness and not that she's always nagging, overspending and/or any such vices, then you could still make a friend of her. The so-called passionate love burns out after some years, friendship is what keeps couples going afterwards. If you make her your friend, at least, and she begins to understand you want her well-being, it will be easier to communicate the changes you want to see. Communication is key.

I know my take might not mean much cause it's a very difficult situation but the summary of what I'm saying is, don't be selfish in whatever decision you take, consider the other two parties involved.

Best of luck!

Wow. I read this thrice. Very blunt and helpful to me I must say.

Biglittlelois:
Get a divorce, marriage is not a do or die affair.

hmmmm

judedwriter:
Naturally, we fall in love with people we spend quality time with. It's natural, that's why friends are for life, we want to spend eternity together. It's the same with your wife, spend more time with her and love will grow.

But God is love. His love is far superior and He fills our hearts with His love when we fellowship with Him in Bible study, prayers and praises. When we are filled with God's love, it is easy to love unlovable people.

Hmmmm. Thank you

UndauntedYOCA:
Lol, sometimes we have got to fave the consequences that arise from not being able to control our urge. Anyways, it's either you learn to love her or you let go but you have got to cater for that child.

The child is the main reason we are still together. While growing up I had vowed to bring up my own kid in my house and not another man bringing up my child.

gudvibz:
Try and get to know her, try understanding her and get all to her. Both of u need to sit down and talk about you (both) and ur likes and dislikes, virtually about everything, if nothing changes well separation or u bear it till the end.

You know love is grown

judedwriter:
No one is totally unlovable. It just takes a lot of time to truly love someone... I mean a lot of time to communicate and try to understand your partner. Be best friends for a long stretch of time... Love will eventually come in.

But if you have a deeper love for God, it won't be difficult to really appreciate your partner, even you aren't linked romantically.

How? Can you explain this to me in depth please ?

Let me cut the story short. Had a fling with this girl, along the line she got pregnant. You know all that talk of "if you could sleep with her, then you must marry her" "if you got her pregnant then you must marry her", Iooking back now, I wished I hadn't listened to all those voices.

I knew in my heart that I didn't love her, even she knew but the pressure from the family was too much, I had to marry her. On my marriage day I was practically crying within me.

Her character is just opposite of all I wanted in a woman, she's barely educated, loud and loquacious.

That's my cross I am carrying today, stuck in a loveless marriage.

The warmth and Romance is absent from our home, we have not had intimacy since beginning of the year till now, we just have no interest anymore in each other. We are just living together for the sake of our child.

My question now is how does one cope�? Is this how I am going to live the rest of my life?

Look for and apply to the military, police, customs or any of the federal paramilitary organizations, We have them many now in the Country. As a Fresh Graduate you start as a cadet officer in these organizations. Sometimes they are looking for specialists, I remember advising my cousin then to join the police immediately he finished nysc, at first he refused but thank God he later saw reasons with me, today he is a superiendent of police SP. The thing about these armed forces jobs are that they are fixed jobs for life, no fear of sack like the banks etc.

Fake news. Fake news. The moderators should be vigilant the way this site has been carrying fake news of recent. Completely fake news

Hello all, am Collins by name and I have lived here in Spain for over 15 years, through my years of living here legally I have benefited a lot from the Spanish society. I now want to help my fellow Nigerians in settling down here as students, tourists and footballers. Contact me and I will advise and put you through the whole visa process.

The truth is that we have overbloated personnel in our military, so this is what you get, won't the Government pay salaries and allowances, let's get real. The solution to this is try to reduce the number of personnel and spend more on equipments, for instance does NDA have to produce graduate cadets every single year?

cooltola:
If you going to cheat, then do not get married. It is just simple.

That's if you ladies will allow him stay, I have a cousin who told a girl that he doesn't want to marry cause he can't stay with one woman, guess what? The lady said she didn't mind, you ladies always think you are smart, then later after hoodwinking guys into marriage, u women start crying foul like u didn't know he was player. God save men

Story!!! I would do exactly the same when I know what's at stake, 60 million naira!!! , God punish that toto. Besides I go behave more when I know am on camera 24 hours, come on guys

cerpvad:
MY OBSERVATIONS :Her birthday message doesn't sound like from mother to son, rather it sounds like that coming from a woman to her lover. Definitely she has replaced emotions for anyman with her son. The vacuum a man left in her heart , she has got a son to fill it in.

Happy birthday to the toddler.

And that is very dangerous, I pity her future daughter inlaw

Life is a bitch but we just try to make the best of it, let me tell you some irrovacable truths. 1. your wife will never love you again the same, if you like, beg her from now till eternity, most women heart are deep like that and some men are like that too.
2.Start to focus much of your love on your kids because they are the only ones that can have unconditional love for you.

I love Marly but this song hmmmmm, I am very uncomfortable with the title, here in Spain that word puta is an offensive word, the word puta means prostitute but its mainly used as a degrading word.

One odd thing I notice about some entrepreneurs in Nigeria especially the so called celebrities is their high overhead cost in running a new business, what is iyabo ojo doing with over 20 staffs? It amazes serious businessmen, how much is your turn over that you are employing over 20 staffs?