baby124:

Excuse me, even rich men have to propose? And who says yes or no? You think you are the only one interested in your girlfriend or even wife and promising her heaven or earth to be with her? There will always be someone richer, finer more intelligent than you interested in your woman. That she is with you, is because she chose you. Men truly have little control over that you know? Though they convince themselves for ego reasons that they do.

you are funny. I don't like your mentality. people choose each other but being a rich guy will give you so many options (gals ) to choose from. if you rich the probability of a lady choosing you is at minimum.

Gerrard59:


OK. I concede I was quite harsh but can you really blame me when I see these things almost on daily basis? The other day, a car almost hit a girl some what my sister's age as she was trying to sell pure water. Another one, by 8pm, came to the bus to sell gala, shame on her face made her retreat.

Do I sympathize with them? Yes. Will I be of assistance to them? No. Not after offering this free education and enlightenment I just did. It has been a burning issue for me. People not capable of taking care of themselves go ahead to procreate, thereby bringing more persons to suffer. And they say I should not talk? Is not the same society we're in? I fear for my society.

The man who sold the land (how he spent the money, I don't know) couldn't buy common malaria drugs for his child when she was sick, yet he plans to conceive with his wife to bring a "boy". Someone should tell me, why shouldn't he be sterilized for his and the society's good?

I don talk and will still talk, people should give birth to children they can ADEQUATELY take proper care of. If they cannot, don't procreate at all. About the intellect aspect, if Singapore can achieve it, I believe we can (if sentiments will allow).

what with you and Singapore.

Ngokafor:




.....You want to deny you have not been making disparaging remarks about women on Nairaland??..anyway i have no time to dig up peoples post like some do here..i do not owe you or anyone else an explanation what-so-ever...therefore drop your comment on threads if you have one and kindly get off my mentions.


...thanks in advance.

funny you. you act like feminist in one section then in others you are a tribal lord. I saw one of your post that you were wishing for the president 's death. really that way out of criticism.

change my friend before hate consume you.

baby124:
You don't choose the woman, the woman chooses to be with you. Though you will like to think otherwise. But it's true! Even the ugliest woman has multiple men wooing her, if you mess up, it's so easy to be dumped by a woman and she will move on very quickly.

If you are the kind of person you want to attract you shouldn't have a problem. I find it strange that some of your so called spec do not take you seriously. Maybe you play too much or do not have a record of serious and respectable relationships. Girls do gossip you know?

Forget the talk about girls not knowing what they want. They do. Especially the pretty ones because they have many proposals and are in the position to pick and choose who they want. They will usually go for a guy that has something they desire most. It could be money, looks or behavior.

When you meet a girl, don't rush into sex or making crazy sex advances so soon. Respect her space and ask questions that matter. Show maturity, self respect, seriousness, and never portray a fake life. Just be you and do not play games. Doing this will give you the opportunity to know whether she's looking for a long term thing or not.

Within at least a year, you should be able to tell if you can spend the rest of your life with someone. Encourage them to be themselves and study them carefully. Nothing attracts and keeps a woman more than a man that is confident, shows maturity even if rejected, respects himself and others, makes good decisions, rational or realistic, hardworking and is responsible.

A pretty, good girl with model looks is very achieveable. You just have to also have what she is looking for. Some girls are also looking for a good man. But you have to back up your claims through your actions. Girls are no fools my dear, we are more intuitive than men. We can usually tell if a man is no good. Though some like to pretend a terrible man is good, so they can create a man that does not exist out of an animal. Those set of women are delusional.

in as much as your post is awesome your opinion that women choose men is only applicable to low income earner because of obvious reasons.

Ngokafor:





......I guess your hate for the last Government has consummed you already ....in other sections you cry and complain about Nigerian women like they are the cause of your frustrations..

..clownish apc zombies like you love to deceive themselves about this failed Apc government but the truth is daily revealed by the reality on ground.

Lol. my hate for last government,that funny.lady use your brain when typing.
I complain about Nigerian women, that new. you just typing B's.

anyway why the hate?

Presidiotbuhari:

^^^
You simply lack the knowledge on the lay down rules of nairaland. Go and read the rules and point out just one my comment violet.....smh

I thought you will be bold enough to upload your dp. anyway I noticed many tribal lords don't always upload their dp. are you afraid? you that you insult the president cannot be afraid I think.

Ngokafor:




....mshewww!!!..bunch of failures and story for zombies.

Lol. your hatred for this government is getting to a point it will consume you. in other sections you cry about How nairaland men hates women but you are the one living in hate.

Emilly2016:
I am going through a very similar situation and am still struggling. My husband wants to do the right thing but doesn't know what that is... he says he wants to get to know her but does not know how often their contact will be or what their relationship will look like. I'm afraid of how our lives and marriage may change and I'm stuck feeling selfish and insecure. I don't like it and am trying to be a better person. I'd love to hear how you are dealing with it. Please feel free to email me- seek_elevation@yahoo.com

419 How many times you wanna post this?.

Lol. this thread is really funny. lot rubbish said in between making your original point,which I do not completely agree with you. I got confused trying to get your definition of poor. on one hand you opined those who can't cater for the need of their children and on the other you opined those who cant afford going to schools that their fee is half a million. the later I agree the other I disagree.

on a lighter note you said unintelligent women should not get married. do you want 70 percent of Nigerian women or 97% of nairaland women stay stay single. that not cool.
funny thread

op seriously Am tired of some parent over protectiveness of their gal child they won't just let us have a field day.calling them in class,lab,club, lounge etc.
abeg e Don do abi kilode

op seriously Am tired of some parent over protectiveness of their gal child they won't just let us have a field day.calling them in class,lab,club, lounge etc.
abeg e Don do

Catalin:
Op you can lie. first of all you don't look 35, you should be in your 20s. Lie lie pants on fire.

Lol..

aflyingbird:
op , where did u copy dis from ? pple shud try sourcing their posts na

why not comment based on the topic rather than looking for where I copy it from.

I am a 34 year old man. I have been with my wife for nine years - married for the last five. When I married her, she had very traditonal values. We had a lot in common - both somewhat shy, both non drinkers and non smokers - very respectful - spiritual rather than religious ,ethically proper and commited to one another. We've always been very honest with each other as well. Our physical intimate life started off rather pedestrian - very unadventurous but slowly grew as we did into something wilder and special - however we remained monogamous. One time my wife got very jealous when I told her I had visited a strip club with friends and was very hurt by it. I promised her I would not go to one again. This was about three years ago. My wife has since had some revelations and has changed. Long story short - she suggested to me that we consider an "open marriage". Apparently at work a fellow she was attracted to hit on her and she was flattered, so much so that it brought forth an idea she said she'd had on her mind for about a year now ... the idea that society puts too much emphasis on sex and that if we can have our needs met by someone else other than our partner that we should go ahead and do it. She said she would have no problem with me being with other women if I felt it was right. I CANNOT sleep or eat. I am in agony. I love her so much and respect what she has to say but this hit me like a ton of bricks. I have no interest in being with anyone other than my wife EVER. I told her I would consider it and try and be a litle more evolved in my thinking but I don't think i can. The thought of my wife being with another man makes me ill. My wife argues I am being possesive and territorial. She is being great about this , by the way, she is simply expressing her feelings and being honest with me - and given the situaltion I couldn't ask for more. My wife is prone to quite analytical and is a real thinker and we have considered this is just a phase she's going through. But what if it isn't? I want her to be happy and I don't want to supress her in any way. But I don't think I could deal with her being with other guys. Please help - thank you in advance.

TheArchangel:
It is part of plan B.

we are saying the same thing

LadyMercedes:


Nigerians NEVER cease to amaze me. Whether I choose to keep my last name, is not the topic of discussion o. I simply gave my opinion.

And no, I'm not keeping my last name because I'm planning to get divorced. I'm keeping it for personal reasons, which my husband to be and I would discuss before settling down.

lady I was only responding to your opinion.
the question you asked is very simple with straight forward answer which is you go back to using your father's name.

for the rest of your post you are Just contradicting yaself.

LadyMercedes:


I believe I said "if". English can't be that hard.

English can't be that hard. "if" in that your post means you already have the thought of your marital failure at heart so you are just been pro active in your actions by the time you get divorced.
please don't get married with this kinda of mindset even of you wanna use your father's name that a silly reason to justify your action.

so you are already planning you marital doom.well done

Joy1706:

They are definitely happier wives abroad. It's not all about the length of a marriage

can you prove your first sentence

Joy1706:

Where did I write about my parents marriage? You must be blind

you don't need to write it, you said Nigerian marriages is nothing to write home about and o guess your point of view is shaped and influenced by your immediate environment (your family )

iPrevail:
Rubbish!
I'd never demand all these from my wife.. She's not my slave or house girl.

oga who told you to demand? the op said want. try reading the title again

Joy1706:

Keep denying all you want. But the reality is that most nigerian marriages have never been and still are not anything to write home about.

I agree with you that your parents marriage is nothing to write home about,but they are in the minority so no problem.

wait How many Nigerian states have you visited? later you will say it's bad to generalize.

megareal:


People like you are reasons I prefer to read , not comment. I dnt have time to bandy words to and fro.

You are obviously too narrow minded to reason that you don't need personal experiences to draw conclusions. You only need to be apt and observant to notice the craziness going on around you. Since you are quick to jump to conclusions, na you sabi. I never said I have sisters, but its there in ur mention . Goes to show just how you interprete words.

Now if you are done being a nuisance, go concentrate on something else like I'm doing. And keep your myopic interpretations to yourselves.

Lol. why you angry?

megareal:


Deduce what you like, but the generality of older people I have met live this lie. They are the ones quick to advise young women to endure whatever their husbands do. To be quiet and submissive even when they are dying.

They are quick to remind you that it is a man's world and there is nothing you can do to change it except pray.

I grew up hating the concept of marriage because of their rubbish outlook on life. You find them in church, communities and families.

Incidentally, my mum and grandma were the ones I drew positive inspirations from.

Too busy. Im out.

older people in your family are miserable and they are advising you and your sisters to endure anything and be submissive enemy when they are dying. I think they want you to continue your family heritage.

incidentally ko accidentally ni.

megareal:
Nail on the head. The typical African man operates on double standard. He Sees the woman as inferior and weak while saddling her with major responsibilities that should mainly be executed by the stronger person (the man).

Now the women are waking up from their slumber after having seen their mothers and grandmothers live miserable lives and aged overnight while the men continued to flourish and procreate. They called them successful marriages but it was all a farce.

I like women who place value on themselves and take steps to be happy in their marriages. Who refuse the age long traditions of enduring and sighing till death. Call it feminism or what you like. A woman deserves to be happy and valued too..

magareal so your mother and grandmother lived a miserable lives and aged overnight. sorry dear it will be well,don't think about it the future will be better for you.once again sorry for what your family experienced.


@joy feminism should be encouraged but the pattern at which Nigerian women are going it is hypocritical in the sense that they only apply the concept of feminism to what suit them.

you're still a student right. that maybe your father trying to scare guys away from you or man has calculated the amount he spent on your education abroad so he needs a refund if you want to get married now.you can't invest and not expect profit.

I love your dad.he is my role model

Amelian:





My dear don't mind men.. They always want to knock heads of women against each other.. And the same men will also say women are resentful of each other.

God is my witness.. Some Women has been a great source of joy, help and assistance to me when am in need...likewise me to them... . And women will not ask her fellow woman for sex when she wants to help financially.. She will help , advice and go her way.. But men! God forbid... U must have sex with them or no help. As if God use se3x swear for them.
If not that am dating a wonderful guy and he is nice and supportive.. I will just say men are thorn in the flesh... But make I no talk too. Much..
Men face una front and leave women alone to sort themselves..

Lol funny you. so your boyfriend Is a women wonderful guy and men are thorn in the flesh... you Okay

Pidggin:
Women living in developed countries don't hate themselves, OP go figure

really. are you talking to uneducated people here. silly assertion

cococandy:

Yea it would be more truthful if the thread is about humans hating on each. I might not have commented.
I find it irritating that something both genders do is something that only women are judged for.

And some mor0n up there has a problem with me pointing that out.

Yeah you can point that out but the topic was based on op experience in his environment..why do women recent each other?can you now answer that, if you can answer it it's Okay .

cococandy:
I don't resent my fellow women. If anything I'm a champion for other women and their wellbeing.

What I resent are topic titles like yours that repeat what you've heard without accompanying research to prove it. You need to start knowing women outside of your usual circle.

you don't like the topic because it as to do with women alone. if the topic was about both gender you won't have problem with it.
as you said both gender engages in the act of resentment but women have taken this to a whole new level.

Amelian:



Did I call your name? Boys like you love it when women are fighting and antagonizing each other..
Who Call you?

same person who called you. girls like you love it when men are fighting each other. anyway fighting make the world more entertaining especially by women

Amelian:
Op the solution is this and it helps me in my everyday life.. Choose your friends wisely, that's one.. Then two , any woman who stylishly chips in sarcastic words to u? Just ignore and walk away.. Exchanging words with such troublesome woman is fruitless, cos she is ready and has prepared for a showdown.. But u walk away as if u didn't hear her.. She will be perplexed in a split second and short of words, by then u don go already.
If she's an inlaw? Pls keep away from her.. No need for greetings and all that.. Just bone and keep away.
And try as much as possible to avoid staying in face me, I slap you rooms.. Such living situation is very crucial on someone peace of mind..
I hope these tips helps

wait I don't get you..who is asking for tips