mightlove: hey guys, am loving the level of activity i see on this thread. I can see we are all doing great.
Welcome to all the newbies.
@ronky how you dey? Hope the morning sickness has eased. Come out and say hi to us oh. Oluite is aking of you already.
@all: i am taking it one day at a time oh. It has not been easy for me,compared with my first pregnancy and so i have put off exercise for a while but hooing to resume very very soon, maybe next week. My baby is a very good kickboxer oh jab, punches, hooks, round horse, upper cuts....., name them, she does them all. Hmmmmn, the sad part is that i have added quite some weight as against what i thought and planned to gain. I am now 97 and am only about 24 weeks oh. That is one of the reasons i must resume workouts quickly so that i dont over gain the weight oh. Around the time i got pegnant, my weight fluctuated between 89 and 91.

Wow that is nice and explains it.Thanks Mightlove and don't worry too much about weight for now so far mum and baby are doing well there is plenty of time to drop it.Wishing you and Ronky a happy and healthy 40 weeks.

Hello everyone,i hope you are doing good.I have been silent for a while.Please how is Ronke doing?I haven't seen her logs in a while now.
Hope she is okay?
@all
Well done and thank you for all the infos.God bless.

Happy Belated Birthday Uncle Seru,Wishing a very happy and fulfilling year ahead.

@Edakedkey
It is well with you.We all irrespective of our age,tribe or what have you go through one thing or the other in Life.Its what i refer to as the mystery of life.Everybody goes through these things.This thread is all about that.God will continually watch over you and your family.You will share your beautiful future here so please look forward to that.

Number 1-Adjusting to Life as a widower
Thread is just great with such depht,had so much impact on me,so many lessons learnt.True life Journey of Serubawon,you can just feel the lows and highs,the turns and twist.The happy future not ending.Thread is devoid of the usual NL hurling of insults and I guess its because one justs connects and even becomes protective of the thread and Uncle Seru.

Busy_body:


I was around when you posted your story, I even still have bits of it that you haven't mentioned on this thread floating somewhere in my head. You know this CABAL thing is meaningless and it was something Richvkunt started to scatter this section. How many times have you seen Chaircover advocate divorce? NOT ONCE, so if she was appointed by Richvkunt as the head of the so called pro-divorce Cabal group who alledgedly only preaches divorce, doesn't this tell you that Richvkunt is just pulling people's legs to catch fun, expensive fun at that.

Asides from his puerile rant as an anti-cabalite, Guitarlife was asking those questions which you politely and respectfully answered to see if he could find out why you went through such, and when he couldn't decode the reason, he threw in the towel saying your ex is demon possessed. And I saw your post where you rightly told him off. Then he responded, and some wires got crossed leading to you thinking he called you slow, I am not 100% sure here but their was a lot of speculative hypothesis from him, which you thought he was saying to put you down, and he came back to reply that you had "read" him wrongly.


With regards to the "signs" in your relationship, your ex's Dad from your account was a feckless philanderer, a womaniser, etc, which is not obviously a good role model for anyone let alone a child. As children, our parents are supposed to love us unconditionally and protect us, but your ex's Dad wasn't a permanent fixture in his life, he had a very traumatic childhood, watching not only his Dad mess up his own life but also put his Mum through hell for 40 years. They might have been rich, they might have provided for him materially, but there was no emotional and psychological support from anyone. As a child expecting unconditional love from his parent, and not getting it, he would have undergone a vast range of rollercoaster of emotion ranging from feeling abandoned, discarded, bereft, lonely, marginalised, disorientated, etc. And although Mum too would have tried with the little she could, the role of Dad is irreplaceable. But one cannot imagine the searingly painful awful feeling of betrayal he must have felt towards his Dad. With this kind of fraught and messy childhood, there would have been a time his self-esteem hit rock bottom too several times.


And then he met you, an angel sent from above, he felt secure and safe with you, and found you trustworthy enough to confide his vulnerabilities and past to you. You never judged him, accepted him and got your Dad to take him on as his son. And he vowed to you never to turn out like his Dad. Although he would still have been nursing a reconcilliation with his own Dad where everything would be fine and Dad would be a good Dad again.


You got married, settled down into a routine, and then the babies that are naturally supposed to start popping out are nowhere to be found. Now your Hubby could have picked up one of his Dad's vices, but he didn't, instead hoping that when he gets married he will be the best Dad to his kid and never let them face what his own Dad put him through. So imagine these babies that he had such grand dreams for not coming, imagine the whirlwind of emotion he would have had to endure all over again, imagine the thoughts that if my Father a wicked man can have kids yet I love kids and can't have mine, imagine the renewed profound sense of loss and bewilderment. . .and then he unfairly and cruelly turns on you . . .


Now in the midst of this, his Daddy reaches out to him because he is now rich, but as far as your ex is concerned, this is a chance for him to burn bridges with his Dad and reconcile, no matter the cost, to fill the void in his heart. He starts hanging out with Dad to feel like one of the boys again, cos at least this way his manhood can't be questioned. And when you started kicking a fuss, he probably tells you to leave him alone as you have nothing to offer him as a barren. In trying to suck up to his Dad to let Daddy see that he has arrived, he tells Daddy you are bugging him, and Daddy naturally tells him to "man up" and not let debrief walk all over you. You turn to your friends, families and parents, but you are told to endure that weeping may come for a night blah, blah, blah, in the end, your Dad came to rescue his little baby girl when he couldn't bear it anymore. . .


And because God knows His own, He was there and saw all the tears that you shed. . . He granted you the man of your dreams, God sent you your own angel - your Husband. God gave you a man who refused to take no for an answer and saw you as the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with and pursued you relentlessly. You must have told him during dating that you couldn't get pregnant yet this did not put him off and he still loved you to take the risk with you, and miraculously you had no problem getting pregnant for rightaway.


Your case was heavily influenced by the parents. And the advent of his unstable Dad into his life again distabilised your family. Your staunch Christian Mum who still doesn't talk to you because you got divorced and remarried, too didn't help matter. Then you had all those extended members of your family who told you to stay and bear it. Left to you, you would have walked, but the decision was out of your hands due to the judgemental Nigerian Society you live in. But thank God again, for your Daddy, for your ex's Mum. She has been through the same path you have been and walked the walk too, hence became your kindred spirit.


So it wasn't you, you are not to blame for anything, it was your ex, and he was the victim of his upbringing which had had too much hold on him. And it can't be easy for him too. You are indeed a rare gem for reaching out to him and not pushing him away when he needed you the most. But most importantly, cherish your Husband cos he is a very very very good person too, how many man can do what he has done/is doing? Please take very good care of your Husband, your crown jewel and I wish you eternal marital bliss.

Please why couldn't the others infer this?Was it easier to keep asking consistently what debrief did on her part to cause the abuse?!
Please Uncle Seru come and post your take.I would love to hear it as would others as well.

Ihedinobi: I'm yet to find a woman that can challenge me and is conscious of the fact that her own opinion counts like mine. When I do, I'm gettin my a.ss married so fast we'll be in a swoon ever after

It seems to me that women tend to feel that marriage is the pinnacle of their existence so as long as they do nothing to rock the boat, it's all good. Of course, being that docile while you're still dating means that your partner will never know what matters to you and what doesn't, and the i.diots among men will think it's a good thing - after all, they won't have to deal with having to keep improving themselves and proving their worthiness to be your man. As for the women, when they eventually cinch the "deal", they start to unfold and get surprised at their man's reaction to who they really are. It's not nice.

Marriage is not a meal ticket or, as is popular among men, a new achievement. It's an alliance between capable partners to build a good life together. As such, nobody should accept an attack on their capability. Know your worth and defend it.

I actually do not believe that people change (at least, not unless God does the changing), I believe that they manifest. I was always described as "that nice kid", "that very quiet boy" and indeed I was those things . . . on the surface. I actually was a raging volcano underneath and I always knew that, my "quiet" facade was actually me fighting to keep the volcano from erupting. I'm glad I didn't get married before defusing. My kind of person would have astounded my wife when something eventually happened to break the "nice guy" veneer. The same thing goes for the "submissive" girl I've loved for half a decade. I've recently found myself coming into the realization that she hasn't come to terms with herself yet. If I stubbornly marry her, maybe in a few years, I'll be looking for a way out of our "frustriage". So, I'm taking some time off and giving her time to find herself and be absolutely sure what her life is all about and whether we fit together or not. Obviously the risk I run is losing her entirely, which is a very bitter taste in my mouth.

My point is: marriage is grossly misunderstood, at least in our days. There seems to be a tendency to deal in it as a matter of convenience and expediency. That's a real pity. Marriage is too serious an affair for anyone to endure. In fact, as far as I'm concerned, there are no good or bad marriages, just marriages and cohabitations. Two people sharing a name and maybe some kids and living space are not necessarily married for all that. Are they sharing their lives as well? If they can define themselves independent of each other or exclusively in terms of each other, they are not married. Simples. There are no reasons for remaining in such a state, just excuses. Either the couple should really get married to each other or they accept their unmarried state and move away from each other to prevent strangulation.

My dream is for a woman with whom I can share everything. One that can call me on every failure even while strengthening me to do right. One who can handle and carry my own criticism. I want a strong woman. And yeah, I believe the last two words can follow each other in that order. She has to be both strong and a woman or we'll destroy each other. I have a very big job to do and am growing stronger every day for it, a weak woman can't handle it or me.

Finally, abuse is impossible if there aren't both an abuser and an "abusee". There must be a perpetrator and a consenter. If one withdraws their compliance, abuse will cease. There is really no "abused" until abuse has ceased. Ladies, take charge of your life. The man you're with will take a cue or slink off. You're neither a mere "work of art in his gallery" nor just a piece of equipment for fighting (emotional, psychological or physical) practice. If you have been abused, pick yourself up off the floor, dust off and build a new life. If there is a judge, he is not a man so you need not justify yourself to men/women.

Sorry for the long story o. Hadn't planned it

EPIC

I love that analysis by Uncle Analytical,deep. Leave it!
Spot on the mel vulnerability thing.
Goes to show why this is my favorite thread on NL.

@OP
I can very well relate to this because I am still work in progress myself.These people don't know how you feel or pretend not to,you have to let them know.People that take advantage of people hardly ever stop on their own,you have to make them stop.When you are hurting this much,its no more helping.These are some of the things,I say to myself. The excuse of they will be leaving soon I have used it myself but you will miserable for the duration.don't be suprised to see them again because for them your place is fun and they will back if you don't deal with this.I am all for helping out but boundaries are very important.

Its just an idea,maybe there should be a support thread.It will be very helpful to encourage and share ideas et al.There are other successful support threads here for TTC(trying to conceive),losing weight,pregnancy,ivf treatments and it really does help.

I am happy you are stronger than yesterday and i am so sure you will pull through
You are so strong and you have inspired many including me
Sometimes i look at your thread say to myself see her strength
Why cant i be strong
Grieve,rant,cry all you want
You are in my prayers
Stay Strong

pslm23: Thank you all for your kind words and encouragement. This is indeed a road i never thought i'd walk! When i said "I Do" to him, i fully intended to stay married forever. What this has taught me though is that we as humans might have our own pre-conceived ideas on how we want our lives to turn out but in the long run,God has the ultimate say so!

I will not entirely lay the blame on him because yes, this IVF thing really took its toll on me but that does not warrant what he did, how he did it, putting me, my health and everything i have ever worked for at such great risk. Not knowing if i was going to be told i had contracted some horrible disease that will kill me and to cap it all, he was unapologetic. The ultimate betrayal is telling your wife, that you intentionally took that male birth control measure because you never really wanted any more children cos you have grown children from your first marriage! All these years of IUI, IVF and trying to be a mommy, and it took catching him with a street walker for the truth to come out! I thought i had a happy fulfilled marriage that was only lacking one thing, a child!
This is why i asked, how do i learn to breathe again in a normal way? how can i remove this heaviness from my heart? How will i ever trust anybody again, man or woman!
I am still in therapy, i have travelled to be with my sister and her kids, but the pain is still there. I loved that man with all my heart! I really did! One day, i will stand strong again but i doubt if i ever will love again like i did!
God bless you all for your responses!

All those surgeries!!!

Like armyofone i love medical stuffs
I have admired your Strength and prayed for you as i followed all through your Journey.
You are an epitome of Strength.
I don't know what to say except a prayer for you.

Ify and Efemena have raised a very important point
I recently had to do some research on this,it brought me many tears and painfully these molesters go free maybe after cooling off for a few weeks in custody(i.e if it gets that far).Unfortunately they walk to the next child.
So much perceived secrecy,shame and stigma so some parents seem think its best to leave it,do nothing so as not to shame the child!!
The shame,stigma should be on the abuser!
We need understand that doing nothing simply means consenting to another child being molested

Hello Everyone,i see you are all doing good.Well done with all the portion control and exercise.Weight shall surely drop o.
I haven't been posting my logs for a while,my phone mysteriously walka from my bag Lagos style.
I have some good news,i was able to weigh after months on friday,i weighed 75kg i couldn't believe it,weighed again 75kg,then went to ask if the scale was working.Don't mind me,prior to this time most of my cloths don't fit,i even had to resize a few but i didn't know i had reached 75kg,height is 5'8 so BMI is 25.1.(overweight )I still need to drop more,hopefully get to 70kg or compromise at 72kg..Waiting to hear better success stories than mine from everyone.Stay blessed.

^Please Kindly post more lessons on how to curb an abusive man baby

@ OP

See this Psalm 109 by the Psalmist especially verse 6

1Hold not thy peace, O God of my praise;

2For the mouth of the wicked and the mouth of the deceitful are opened against me: they have spoken against me with a lying tongue.

3They compassed me about also with words of hatred; and fought against me without a cause.

4For my love they are my adversaries: but I give myself unto prayer.

5And they have rewarded me evil for good, and hatred for my love.

6[b]Set thou a wicked man over him: and let Satan stand at his right hand.
[/b]
7When he shall be judged, let him be condemned: and let his prayer become sin.

8Let his days be few; and let another take his office.

9Let his children be fatherless, and his wife a widow.

10Let his children be continually vagabonds, and beg: let them seek their bread also out of their desolate places.

11Let the extortioner catch all that he hath; and let the strangers spoil his labour.

12Let there be none to extend mercy unto him: neither let there be any to favour his fatherless children.

13Let his posterity be cut off; and in the generation following let their name be blotted out.

14Let the iniquity of his fathers be remembered with the LORD; and let not the sin of his mother be blotted out.

15Let them be before the LORD continually, that he may cut off the memory of them from the earth.

16Because that he remembered not to shew mercy, but persecuted the poor and needy man, that he might even slay the broken in heart.

17As he loved cursing, so let it come unto him: as he delighted not in blessing, so let it be far from him.

18As he clothed himself with cursing like as with his garment, so let it come into his bowels like water, and like oil into his bones.

19Let it be unto him as the garment which covereth him, and for a girdle wherewith he is girded continually.

20Let this be the reward of mine adversaries from the LORD, and of them that speak evil against my soul.

21But do thou for me, O GOD the Lord, for thy name's sake: because thy mercy is good, deliver thou me.

22For I am poor and needy, and my heart is wounded within me.

23I am gone like the shadow when it declineth: I am tossed up and down as the locust.

24My knees are weak through fasting; and my flesh faileth of fatness.

25I became also a reproach unto them: when they looked upon me they shaked their heads.

26Help me, O LORD my God: O save me according to thy mercy:

27That they may know that this is thy hand; that thou, LORD, hast done it.

28Let them curse, but bless thou: when they arise, let them be ashamed; but let thy servant rejoice.

29Let mine adversaries be clothed with shame, and let them cover themselves with their own confusion, as with a mantle.

30I will greatly praise the LORD with my mouth; yea, I will praise him among the multitude.

31For he shall stand at the right hand of the poor, to save him from those that condemn his soul.

Even Psalm 69 especially verses 27-28

What is your take on these prayers by the psalmist?

Gombs: There's a serious dyslexic case here...
1. Who told u he erected d board himself?why wud u tink he did?
2. There's a caption that reads..."If he ώɑ̣̣̝̇̇ƨ̣̣̣̇̇̇ one of those profession pictured,where would U̶̲̥̅̊ be?"...refering τ̅☺ those he's touched their lives.is it ∂α̇̇̇†̥ difficult τ̅☺ comprehend?
3. Why e D̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥ vex una?for T.D. Jakes churches..Йą your face D̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥ there?
U knw wot I lov abt him?..no matter wot dirt u guys throw at him,he only gets better and better...Pastor Chris, worth hearing.

PS...make una get a life,little minds talk about people,great minds talk about ideas,business,innovation...cheers

1.Why would he encourage this?
2.He did touch lives through JESUS CHRIST,i don't see Jesus celebrated

Seems more like ''imagine if he(pastor) were all these professions"where will you be today? meaning If he were all these professions,you will be nowhere ni?

No emphasis on GOD?Who is using him?God or himself?
@Topic
I kinda of lost the surprise thing with the video on youtube where ma..st..urba..tion was said to be an unclean habit and not a sin against God.
Today's believers must read the word of God,read the word of God and read the word of God.

^^
You can say that again.I laughed till i had tears,in between had to double check gender.Chei!!

Congrats on your son's fantastic result,he will continually bring you Joy.Amen.

^^
Entertaining you meant?

Did you celebrate any Birthday say during courtship?

knotty: Materialism ko, raw material ni.
You aint seen nothing yet.
Better be ready to spend your kidney and liver to maintain a relationship in the days ahead.
The fight to live it up is intense and will not abate anytime soon. So, please, spare us all that sermonizing.
Girls of today are in a league of their own and we men propped them up to that position.
By we men, i mean we fathers, boyfs, wannabe lovers and lovers.
Of all of these mothers are the worst culprits because no one is closer to a daughter than the mother.
So, like mothers like daughters.
Like fathers like sons.
Who wants to drive a 505 now when you can do an AudiA8?
We all are materialistic in this new age and time.
Values? That died with Noah and was washed away by the flood of his time.

We can have our values back,it starts from me and you...all of us

obowunmi: Yes I believe Nigerians have lost their moral standards. But I strongly believe that it is a MYTH promoted by Nollywood and such and many of you have come to believe it as real.

1. Nigeria has more women than men

2. Most men are jobless, unemployed, or underemployed

3. Most men seem to be getting married, if women are so materialistic as you have stated, who is marrying these men?

4. Has to be the same women you call materialistic. Yes, there are Aristos, yes - women enjoy polygamus marriages, relationships , and flings with wealthy men (no matter how they have gotten their money).

You the few is not applicable to all because Poor, jobless, underemployed, and unemployed men are marrying someone.



Happiness in these marriages is another topic, but don't let messages conveyed in Nollywood be applicable to all.

I actually didn't state materialistic,Topic was actually where did our daughters learn this? This attitude and behavior which i further described

"Recently i was so embarrassed when some guys in my office where complaining about todays chics, a guy travelled with his girlfriend for a wedding,he paid all expenses.Suddenly the girlfriend sister and friend appeared in the airport expecting the guy to foot their travel expenses as they claimed to be stranded.These are all working class ladies.Of course no plan to pay back and his girl friend didn't see anything wrong in this arrangement.Another time,a young working class girl ended a relationship majorly because the guy couldn't give her a specific amount for her monthly upkeep. Please she knew exactly what he was earning as well and it wasn't so fantastic?!

I heard and seen many of such from young working women,only to come across a thread here with something similar...."

I do know that these women can afford these things but some reason maybe a wrong value system,greed or some misconception that the man(you are not married to) in a relationship must foot all your bills and those of friends and family.Nowhere did i implied that every young unmarried woman is materialistic.
My reply to warrior
@Warrior,
Many women still marry for love and they are everywhere.Just keep looking.

Basically we are saying the same thing only i want to emphasis on what can be done to correct this mindset of those who believe and feel this attitude is right.This trend is practically the in thing now,almost everywhere you go you see it,it is in our homes,family's,offices...

debrief08:
Thank You For your recommendations especially the one about SCOAN , However we prefer to Go to Doctors and pray God uses them and skills they have learnt to treat him.
Thank You all for the positive prayers, even though this is not my thread, I am happy to report that He is Much Much better, Gradually recovering, has started taking walks, postive reports everyday, Surgery very successful, We expect them back at the end of August.

God is so kind,gracious and merciful.Thank God for this wonderful testimony.
God will continually bless you and your husband

@Krest,
Its more of a problem with our value system,a system where morals and values rank at the very bottom and money at the very top.

debrief08[b:
]Shameful to say the least, it hit me that we have a huge problem when a neighbor I respected as a Christain Mother in Church asked if they could park her daughters car at our place because they didn't want the father who was coming in to know she had a car.
This girl was in school oh, when I asked the Mom who bought the car for her she said "a friend", when I asked what kind of friend, the woman eyed me and left my house as if to say "enemy of progress". My sister I don't know where we learnt this oh.[/b]
My parents always hammered into us to grow and build a life with any man we settle with. Once I remember my Mum Nagged me for days because I accepted a gift from a guy I wasn't interested in dating, she was upset and couldn't understand why I will receieve his gift when I wasn't planning to have him around, even after I returned the gift the nagging didn't end, this was @ 24 when I had a second degree and was working oh.
So I am really saddened by this trend, greed greed every where grab grab, like death the bilbe says a greedy man or woman never has enough, he takes everybodys share without a conscience.
Money shouldn't define or make us, money is a means to an end not the end, for me the benefits of money is to be able to share, give people who have no access to education an opportunity to be educated, give people who can't afford medical care some help.
Churches don't make it easier, I was suprised when the same University girl with the car came and invited me to church for her car dedication, I asked her if the Pastor didn't ask where she got the car, she said her pastor only asked that she bring a fat offering for dedication. Everywhere you turn, its money money money, people who define themselves by clothes, and other materialistic items.
We should also teach our kids the benefit of hard work not cheap money. My son already knows that the worst way he can ask for anything is to tell me he wants it because so and so has it. I have taught him that he doesn't need to have everything others have, he needs to be content and appreciative, and also learn to share and not just demand

Abi how else can one explain this?

@Efemena,

Aristo is an older,wealthier,married man friend more like a sugar daddy.

andromida:

True.You can tell a woman living above her means why must you be with such a woman and then turn round and complain.

True

@Efemena,
Thats an insightful thread,trust CC,am still going through it.
@Seasoned mum,
I don't even want to think of the aristo business,its almost normal today to have one aristo and a boyfriend by the side !

Tgirl4real: What you mentioned is now the order of the day. In the real sense of it, they are not our daughters. They are our colleagues, neighbors, and sometimes friends.

We mothers should endeavour to train our daughters up in a manner that will not bring disgrace to us in the future.

So right..

@Warrior,
Many women still marry for love and they are everywhere.Just keep looking.

Growing up as a young girl,it was unheard of to live beyond your pocket money,questions will be asked if your hairdo was too expensive or you have what my mum calls 'unusuals' in your wardrobe or amongst your stuff.Accepting gifts from guys,wahala!!!There must be an acceptable explanation.Talk less of actually asking a guy for money.It was drummed into our ears you must have values,be contented,work hard,be independent et al.

Recently i was so embarrassed when some guys in my office where complaining about todays chics, a guy travelled with his girlfriend for a wedding,he paid all expenses.Suddenly the girlfriend sister and friend appeared in the airport expecting the guy to foot their travel expenses as they claimed to be stranded.These are all working class ladies.Of course no plan to pay back and his girl friend didn't see anything wrong in this arrangement.Another time,a young working class girl ended a relationship majorly because the guy couldn't give her a specific amount for her monthly upkeep. Please she knew exactly what he was earning as well and it wasn't so fantastic?!

I heard and seen many of such from young working women,only to come across a thread here with something similar.Mothers can we discuss this? How did this become the in thing today,where many working single women expect the men in their lives to foot all their bills? Maybe some women are not aware that this is not a good attitude and there should always be balance,boundaries....

Sisi_Kill: I swear I am fearing this marriage thingy oh!! I've not put much thought into so many thing, okay scratch that, it is not like I haven't given much thought to them, I've always had the impression that there are some things that are a given.

You go to the grocery store today and buy whatever is needed and if he goes tomorrow and brings something home. . .fine. No fuss, no muss!!

Even with Bills, whoever gets there first pays it off. It's not my turn, your turn or you did this and I will do that in the matter

Of course, all of that depends on the kinda relationship you have to begin with. Be rest assured, we won't be going to far if the guy is stingy with his money. Look, I am not saying spend on me like there is no tomorrow, just don't make a big deal. . .franking your face all over the place because you think somebody wants your money.

Am I being Naive?

Can't say i blame you?With the real life marriage tales here on family section!I have the shivers myself

@witty and adetoks

When i read both your post,i was like are you guys for real?This issue seemed pretty trivial to me!Unnecessary even
But from your past post and topics witty, it seems you have been carrying a grudge for a while?
This also reeks of major communication issues.
You said your wife is sanguine and you are melancholic,Sanguine's are generally friendly, enjoy talking and being the center of attention.
A Melancholic are generally perfectionist,emotional and words get to them and they are constantly analyzing things.
I believe who you are is dependent on you despite these temperament thing,God helping you.
You both need to talk this out before it escalates any further...
I go with dare2think you owe your wife an apology,you actually implied she might have a medical history?Haba!This is your better half we are talking about
Sometimes I wish I could share those issues with someone but I never did because I feel they are so insignificant but you always read so much meaning to my remarks or actions.
Your wife from her post feels you over-analyse things

You feel she doesn't know how to talk and is full of herself

Communicate please and come to an understanding
Why are your both hurting yourself?and over what? Is it that important?
What will you gain?Cant you work this out?

What is the whole point of this? the glass?the book? Come on guys?

Your testimony is so amazing left me speechless and emotional.Its a miracle and God truly honors faith in his word.Thanking God for giving you the grace to hold on.Congrats on this wonderful miracle.God bless you,your precious gift from God and your entire family.Please kindly share this link on TTC thread

debrief08:
We are preparing for surgery for my Ex, pray it goes well, its our last string of hope, all our head dey there now.

chaircover:

wow! so that thread was by your Ex. A few people sussed it out but I wasnt sure. You and your husband are good people and I pray that your love and hardwork wont be in vain over your ex and he will recover in full from his illness.

I especially commend your husband. There are very few men are like him and I am sure that God will always show His mercy on him. Many many would have laughed in your Ex's face but you both didnt and that takes a lot of strength to do. May your days be long and filled with laughter and may your children eat out of the blessings that you have both incurred for this selfless act of forgiveness.

This life sha.

That thread was deep and so emotional for me,i couldn't sleep well.Debrief,I don't know the word that can qualify and describe you and your husband.This is more than forgiveness.God bless you.Life is indeed a deep mystery.