₦airaland Forum

Neither, both are stressful 😓

People focus on preventing the girl child from getting pregnant or sleeping around (purity culture). But are perfectly okay with their sons being sexually active ("Sha don't impregnate anybody !" is all boys are told).

We ignore the fact that boys tend to pick up addictions at a higher rate than girls and Addictions (sexual, gambling, drug, alcohol) are life-destroying.

Honestly parenting a child is really hard and most of us are just winging it. Do you know how many times I have to remind myself "wo, I'm somebody's Mother" when I want to do anything? 😓

This was before she gave birth, so maybe 2 months ago. Hopefully they can focus on their daughter now.

Henrimoto and SatoshiX

Please, apart from Lagos state, what other states would you recommend to look to for land investment?

Surely other places may be coming up

pocohantas:
I am proud of Rudeboy. Some of them hide behind their keypads to type any nonsense that comes to mind.

I read on IG, she is forming sickness. Meaning she learned well from Nigerian politicians. Only that she doesn't have their money and connections. So she would learn the hard way. Let her go defend herself.
😂😂😂😂😂😂

Gossip is rubbish sha.

I was told a piece of personal gossip about a popular elite family (it was very true, my sister moves in their circles).

On IG one day, a random account posted their wedding story from decades ago, it was a salacious one. Someone made a comment and I replied that "if you know how the marriage turned out, 'twas expected".

Their adult child immediately replied me sharply.

Now, I could have gone "girlllll, let's not start this..." . But I realized my comment was tasteless (her parents' marriage isn't something to make snide comments about publicly).

So I apologized, deleted my comment and thanked God for the lesson. And a week later, her father passed away. Now imagine if the last comment I ever spoke about that man was concerning his marital issues and it upset his daughter, the guilt I would have felt.

Truly, I thank God for the lesson to let my words be seasoned with salt.

I don't even know if this story is true about Rudeboy (I have heard it before on X), but no need to join your mouth in any unproductive talk.

Leave that to Stella Dimokorkus, who makes a living out of it and triple-fact checks, so nobody can touch her.

Savvy19:
I think you are right about her heart being tied to her kids. Cos there was a day I ask her to come spend the night with me at my place, but she refused to come because of the kids

She's being a good mother by putting her kids first. Which is admirable

I have seen a Single Mum lock herself in a room with a tall, muscular Yoruba Area Fada Bodybuilder and ignore her work and her toddler 😁😁 and when she came out in a wrapper, she was looking at him like he was suya wrapped in newspaper😍😍. Yes, he dumped her after the project.

And my friend locked himself in a bathroom with a single mum of 2 and her last child was banging on the door. Guy wanted to die on top her matter, was paying for her bills and even took a 2nd job. Yes, she cheated and dumped him 😔

And we all saw Yul Edochie happily declare the year his teenage son died suddenly was the best year of his life, because Judy Austin was rushing to tie him down with her 2nd pregnancy

So I know men and women who will happily ditch kids for knacks.

OP, just give her a year and a half.

Smart girl indeed.

That Grammy won't be won by living in Nigeria, and remaining a foreigner in the USA, she has to appeal to the American voters like Tyla or to the Brits like Burna. It's why BTS when they got serious, started doing the Late Night US Talk shows until they got nominations and other Music awards wins, sadly no Grammy

Savvy19, my advice has NOTHING to do with her Single motherhood.

There are a lot of Single Mum's who make great 2nd wives (one comes to my mind )

But she's rushing into a relationship for all the wrong reasons.

She has casual friends and acquaintances telling her to "move on! That man has moved on with other women! Don't dull yasef!" (We all underestimate how much BAD ADVICE recently divorcees and separated people are given).

Her family and people who truly love her will be telling her to focus on herself and her kids for now (which is correct).

She's lonely, Hot and emotionally broken and here you show up, like Sir Galahad, giving her attention that her ex hasn't given her in over a year.

Of course she will respond like an Angel.

But it can't last and that's where reality will hit and you'll find yourself wondering how you slept in Bourdillon and woke up in Agege.

Then you'll start to shout "Omo never date a Single Mum o!"

Same thing with Single Dad's: go and ask the women who rushed and dated him before he had healed. Someone that just wanted to bleep but was confusedly asking you to step into his wife's role without recovering himself, his family and kids will hate you (but nobody will say anything. Then one day, small fight and "I never asked you to move in with me! You're the reason I couldn't reconcile with my wife!" just know that the cane that they used for the 1st wife has been brought out of the cupboard to use on you. Na your turn to cry

Savvy19,

Please end it with her.

Don't even fool yourself by saying "oh let us be friends and I'll be hanging out, move in with you and loving you (but we won't define the relationship) whilst you heal". It's a stupid, manipulative tactic and her family and kids will see through it and hate you even more.

End it. Turn her into a friend from afar.

She's not ready to date anyone. She just left a 15-17 year marriage. You are such a REBOUND you may as well be a UEFA cup football hitting the goalpost.

She's wonderful to you right now because you're in the Honeymoon stage: her ego is bruised, she's broken emotionally, she hasn't recovered from her ex, she's trying to prove to the world that her ex was the problem (so trust me, you're getting the Ikoyi version of her, reality will be Aguda when it hits or Mushin when both of you realize it was a Rebound Relationship and you're in the Wow-This-Was-A-Bad-Idea era).

She needs to sit by herself and heal and focus on herself for a while, get herself together before dating.

Men do what she's doing: rush from Marriage into a Long-term Relationship and Another Marriage. They look happier than Yul Edochie and 2face and swear loudly about finally finding "peace".

In 5 years' time, they will quietly stop posting happy piz online and start sounding philosophical on their WhatsApp status (eye don clear and they've started to regret). It's why 2nd marriages fail higher than 1st marriages.

For your sake, protect your heart and give her space and distance. In 2-3 years' time if she's still available, go for her.

God has come through for me, but more importantly He has made me come through for people, especially women in distress (not financial need, but when they need comfort, mental strength and guidance). For some reason, they come around me (be they strangers or old friends) and I'm able to provide comfort and strength during their tough moments.

And I'm glad He gave me this mission

Emma513:
We live in cool and quite place, so recently a group of boys that are into cultist relocate to our place, I was brought up in a godly family, and don't follow or join cult, the have been disturbing my life with, boy find us 1k, even when I no get, boy you dey Bleep up, U be juu man, etc, I am really tired of there bully I am a calm and quiet person and I don't like rough life, this guys will smoke and shout till night, I am afraid of reporting this to security agency, because I thought they might come after me if they discover I reported them, so what can I do in this situation

Whose house are they living in, who is the Landlord, does he know that he rented his place to such men?

Can you approach any older neighbors to meet with the landlord and warn him that people will soon go and report his tenants to police and he will enter wahala once police has to come and raid the place.

You know Nigerians are fearful, so this should work on getting them evicted

Hashtagged, Let me also add this:

The way we teach and study Math in Nigeria is horrendous. We're very bad at Math.

And I'm saying this as someone who not only studied a STEM course but now teaches Science and Math.

We teach to cram, we don't understand the steps or why we take the steps we do to solve the equations. We don't understand the logic and we don't see the patterns.

Math is all about Logic and Patterns.

When I changed the method I used to learn Math by following the CPA method, my general thinking changed. I became aware of patterns being repeated in people's personal lives and was able to spot them easily (it's eerie). I was able to predict what was going on with them from afar (this has caused problems as one of them thinks I'm a witch and is also cutting off his beloved family member assuming she's the one feeding me information).

I teach my kids CPA methods, I use a lot of Math tools and make them understand WHY they carry out the steps that have to, to SEE the LOGIC behind it all.

So they're not just saying "okay here's the question, these are the steps to solve it", they're thinking of creative ways to solve (my son solves Addition in Base 10 and I teach my students that, I teach Long Division via Flower Power 😁, Fractions I explain the why, LCM I explain what it really is, BODMAS will help you understand the Distributive Properties of Algebraic Equations etc).

Nigeria needs better thinkers and Math, Art, Philosophy, Literature and Science is the way forward

In

SpencerForbes:
I’ve done some teaching before (mostly junior sections) and one tactic that never failed me is the ‘teach yourself first’ method. Before entering any class, I spend 30 minutes to an hour studying the topic until I fully grasp it, often watching YouTube tutorials for clarity.

My approach is to teach like I’m an SS3 student explaining to juniors—break it down simply. Use few examples but focus on interaction and let them do the work. You’ll be surprised at how smart these kids are; you might even learn from them.with time I grew confident and could enter any class with my tactics and the students loved it. By the way, how many years have you been teaching?

This is good advice, OP. Please follow it.

And it would be nice to anonymously name the school online. Math is a foundational course and this kind of lackadaisical attitude by the school proprietor is why so many Nigerian kids are very bad at Math and struggle in STEM and basic logical reasoning later.

Let parents know they're not getting value for their money with the school.

This is where they need Gbadebo Rhode-Vivour, Osita Chidoka, Femi Hamzat and the clever-speaking, Western-packaged politicians to help do the backdoor negotiations.

But alas, we Nigerians don't like clever people. We love cunning, low-minded folks.

Besides, why is Tinubu and his govt worried?

This is the same playbook they used on GEJ nau.

Has he forgotten the Yoruba adage "the cane that is used on the first wife, is waiting in the cupboard for the 2nd wife"?

He should go and beg all the Northerners he's stepped on their toes, to allow him do 2nd term in peace. I hear they're all mad at him and want a regime change.

And a fractured Nigeria helps Russia, weakens Europe considerably and messes with China badly. So what's in it for the USA?🤔

It isn't necessary (though I love seeing them done during Mass).

Tell your wife pockets are dry now, so can you meet the Revd Fr/ Pastor to go to his office and bless the child, maybe accompanied by Grandparents or Godparents or a few relatives. Then have a simple meal at home later.

I didn't dedicate any of my kids, just baptised them.

Whilst we know the Average Nigerian Male is frothing at the lips wanting this law...

...let us put aside emotional immaturity and face reality squarely.

We live in NIGERIA, ladies and gentlemen.

We live in a society where angry, emotional men drag nursing babies and toddlers away from their mothers, to punish her for daring to leave them

We live in a society where your cousin will abandon his pregnant GF and even when the baby is your cousin's literal vomit (no DNA test required), he will cruelly refuse to visit or send money for diapers. And all of you will invite him to your homes and laugh happily with him. Because we don't care about Right And Wrong, will shrug and say "we told him, what else do you want us to do?"

(Here's a hint: don't support nonsense!)

We live in a society where even with a Court Judgment awarding Child Support, the Father can decide not to pay one kobo and be driving upandan Lagos carrying babes, whilst his kids enter keke to school. And nothing will happen.

Why are you so worried about Paternity Fraud, when you can simply walk out on your proven biological children and not a damn thing will happen?

Shouldn't we first pass a Law mandating that men MUST take care of their children (even if we have to freeze his bank accounts and debit it directly), then we can wail about Paternity Fraud?

All the American and British celebrities of Nigerian descent couldn't be used to be the face of this?

Uzo Aduba, Chiwetal Ejiofor, Cynthia Erivo, John Boyega, Damson Idris, etc

The people behind this, pushing this, couldn't be bothered to get that one detail right, for the optics?

Na wa o.

I have been supporting their agenda since but they should dot their i's and cross their t's nau

😤

Mrchippychappy:
Blackmail? Unless video dey wey dem dey involved in terrorism, dey smash other men or do human sacrifice then no problem. Wetin u want use blackmail me? Side chick?

Business deals and business secrets. That's what is being ransomed.

People would pay to get that information, so they can know what business moves those men are planning in private.

Myself2:
You guys overrate the power of those dirty places you call shrines

😂😂😂

I can confidently assure you that as there are things in this world that cannot be explained and there is the physical and the spiritual.

Omo see my old thread o

dierich:
Hmmmm
All I can say is, I appreciate this a lot
For that name that sound immature. Check out when I created it.
But to be honest, I appreciate your response

This thing na spiritual matter!

And it is a global issue (read oyinbo social media and see the destruction the devil has caused. Office Affairs are the No.1 Marriage Destroyer. It's because you're seeing the person everyday, they'll be looking like Idris Elba meanwhile they're Akpororo).

Even Pastor Jerry Eze of NSPPD prayed about it last week or so: "there's a man who had a dream about his wife and daughter, now he hates them, he has met another woman and can't stop thinking about her".

The devil has no new tricks but he does have power. However the Lord has given you AUTHORITY over him! Claim that authority and protect your family.

Stand in the gap for your wife and lift her in repentance to Jesus.

Because nothing, nothing in this world will stop anybody from cheating...save themselves making a decision NOT TO CHEAT

So your prodigal wife must find her way back to the Lord and to you.

And one day, her eye will clear, it always does. She can either lose it all or still have something to hold onto.

All the best brother, and I'm sorry for your pain.

Dierich (even your name is immature )

You need to mature and mature very quickly.

Your marriage has hit the 7 Year Itch. That's the period in any relationship where the love has faded and both of you have forgotten why you liked each other in the first place and suddenly the grass looks very green outside. 7-10 years period.

Now, if we are to believe you, your wife has admitted to an emotional affair. Yes it hurts, but you caught it on time.

What your wife seems to be suffering from is Limerence (please look it up). Limerence lasts from 3-18 months and has no rhyme or reason (she won't be able to give you concrete answers why she likes the guy so don't bother. Her brain is playing tricks on her, it's why she blames the devil).

Now, locking up emotionally and threats will only make her feel lonelier, crazier and make that guy look like Banky W (fine and elegant) mixed with Bovi (good sense of humour) and Nathaniel Bassey (upright Christian).

Meanwhile the guy is a mix of Yul Edochie, 2face and Emeka Ike in real life.

It's the 80:20 rule: what she liked about him is 20, what is rubbish is 80, but she can only see the 20 and her math skills and logic have failed her.

By the way, this happens to men as well

So what you really need right now is COMMUNICATION! Open phones, open laptops, shine torchlight everywia (because the devil thrives in secrecy). Talking frequently and not about the man (she will want to stylishly bring him up, remember it's not love shes just om crazy brain chemicals).

The type of love she needs is stable love not you competing with the man (God forbid!) or you throwing ultimatums in hurt and pain.

Then she needs ACCOUNTABILITY! Now is the time to look for an older Mama in church or somewhere who will start guiding her and screaming into her ears about Consequences. And the best consequences will be losing access to her child via shared custody after Divorce. No Mother wants that.

Finally, you need FORGIVENESS. She's not ready for remorse (she's lying if she apologizes now). So you need to forgive her now for breaking your trust. And only God can give you that strength, now is the time to delve into the bible deeply. She will join you.

Eventually, once you bring her close, she will tell you the 20% that attracted her to that man. I assure you, it is something that she's lacking in herself, that she went to look outside for, rather than look inwards and fix up.

Human Beings struggle mightily with reflecting inwardly.

If you weather this storm, your marriage will be stronger because you would have matured, lead her and protected your family. She will be eternally grateful that when she lost her mind, you were there to pick up the pieces.

Eventually, she'll want to leave her job, when she's recovered and you've fixed your marriage. Shame will not want her facing that man on a daily basis. Let her do so.

Dierich

You've gotten some excellent advice here from several men, that will lead to your divorce

No seriously, with their advise and that contract you sent her, may as well just go and file. Don't waste anymore time.

Send her packing, send her into separation and her eye will clear, forreal?

The last dumbo I know who took that advise, it's been over 2 yrs of separation, he's living with another woman (whom he dislikes), he's fighting his family and his in-laws all dislike him now, people have condemned his behaviour, his kids don't see him anymore, his wife is asking to reconcile (he's doing shakara but doesn't realize that another man is seriously wooing her daily, morning prayers on her phone before 7am!).

And the worst thing is, his case wasn't even as bad as yours (certainly no infidelity).

So yeah, send her packing, her eye will clear .

It will definitely make her not sleep with the man ,

you definitely won't feel lonely

and then hook with a random babe and then God forbid knock that babe up and have an additional complication and 5 years down the line, wake up confused, angry and sad as to why you're a Single Dad or Divorcee and how you got there.

Or you can try reading my next post. 👍

Shall we?

I

Makamatic:
Abeg I get one question wey I want ask concerning this topic , Mature folks abeg answer .

What if man come get GF wey good wella , like she they give am advice , encourage him hustle, give am food and understanding but situations no come fit allow them marry and the man understands that the girl is a good girl . But now she's married to another man , the man in question now is now in a place where he can assist the girl and wants to start repaying the girl for the good time / good deeds they shared and he they send her money and them talk once in a while .. abeg na bad thing .

Cc. Pocohantas , onegai , gloriousgbola etc . You matured advice is needed here

It could cause problems depending on the husband and their state of affairs.

Perhaps do it carefully:

Communicate not too frequently and only during work hours.

Find out if her husband is territorial, if he isn't, send her something occasionally. NOT LIFE-CHANGING MONEY AT ONCE, little assistance from time to time.

Your communication should always be respectful of her husband. Write like he's sitting at her shoulder reading your messages.

Better yet, if there is a woman in your life, let her get involved and be the face of the gifting. So it is one couple helping another.

And if all else fails, ask if you can gift their children via their bank accounts.

So...based on past behaviours of the NCAA, that would mean Aviation Ambassadorship for the 2 of them, right?

Right?

Double post, kindly ignore thanks

yemre:
Honestly, this life is too short for a man to stay with a nagging wife.

Some women are actually very lucky to marry good men but the luck gets into their heads and they end up riding the good man like a horse and treating him like trash just because they feel he's not going anywhere. I have witnessed this from some families, so I know what I'm saying.

The fact that you're lucky to marry a good man is not a license to treat him anyhow.

I'm sure Tuface would have stayed with Annie if he had the PEACE OF MIND he desired in his marriage. That PEACE is the biggest gift a man can ever get in a marriage, and the moment it's lacking, the couples are as good as flatmates.

Just look at how he abandoned everyone and everything just to be with whom he considered a friend and partner.

I'm not a fan of people snatching other people's husbands but ladies, pls treat your man like a king and behave well if you know you truly value your marriage.

This Africa is a men's world and very easy for a man to change spouse but never vice versa. So pls quit competing with him.

A word, they say, is enough.......

The fact that you wrote this about Innocent 2face Idibia and not some celebrity like Banky W, is wild.

You could have picked any other man to defend and your writeup would have made even more sense.

Heck, the Pastor that married and raised 2face's kids by his 2nd baby mama quietly and respectfully, deserves this. Not 2face Idibia.

And it is a truth universally and biblically acknowledged that the sign of a truly bad decision is abandoning everything and everyone you know JUST for something or someone else. Literally, that is the basis of the story of the ENTIRE Old Testament of the Bible, the Prodigal Son, Samson and Delilah etc.

I sincerely hope you don't give advise outside sha.

Please may I ask why people are calling this an illegal convention?

I thought there was a court judgement recently given that it could hold.

ednut1:
show us a picture of you in a museum in Nigeria. I’m Nigerian duh. They should keep them or make replicas and pay us a commission. Its better that way

OYASAF (Yemisi Shyllon Museum)

JKK Randle Museum of Yoruba History

National Museum (though the paintings there aren't well cared for)

There's one at Fela's house I believe. Please look it up.

I saw these as a private collection and now it's all in a museum in Lagos. These things work better in Lagos due to the type of people there and they're mostly in Lagos Island, VI, Ajah.

Benin City (which I spent formative years in) has lost its way societally, becoming morally corrupt and shallow (yahoo boys are the loudest spenders there, with no shame), so that type of museum won't work there and only keep attracting this kind of behaviour (some local kingpin thinking he hasn't been settled and sent boys).

Oba must mover very swiftly to curb this or they'll embarrass all the hard work he put in to get the Bini Brasses back.


Kushites

Tyla is their American darling o, e go hard to beat am

Davido needs to pump money into competing for this Grammy, he should chase Angelique Kidjo and the African acts who have their ears, let he and Omah Lay win it. My boy Omah Lay is too talented to keep going unrecognized

muyico:
but why so fast??

Truly, that's the worrying part. Why the speed?

I saw a post a while back about global powers positioning themselves:

Russia wants to keep a chokehold on Europe so they will forment trouble in Africa so that Europe can't get raw materials easily and rely on them

USA is in a cold war with China and would want to restrain their influence, so maybe that's why they're going after Africa starting with Nigeria (China's biggest African customer).

China wants Taiwan and Asia and will do what they can to push back and eventually dominate countries that owe them money, including USA (they can't beat the US but they can make the USA back away).

Otherwise, none of this makes sense. Trump's America doesn't care about Africans, so this mad sudden moves are hiding something

LagosOrigin:
Nlfpmod please come and move this sweet news to the front page

😂😂😂

The US is threatening visa bans and asset freezing.

Which means half of your politicians are about to make their relatives in the US rich via transferring assets to them to hide it (it's how some of your influencers and "suddenly wealthy" people became rich out of nowhere, the money laundering they all do for a fee).

It also means that the Nigerian Govt, politicians and elites are about to be galvanized into action and this Christmas is going to be very safe for the Middle Belt.

Nigerian Catholic Seminarians will finally be safe for a while (because the US Evangelicals and Catholic Dioceses are marching lockstep under the new USA).

Do Court wedding for now, it's the cheapest and you're legally married.

Everything else na party. Speak to the family ask that the traditional can be done next year but Court marriage this year.