₦airaland Forum

Omo, how fast can one steal?

From boarding to takeoff is less than 30 mins. Unless the thief targeted the guy from the lounge.

Na wa for some people. They see any opportunity and strike quickly.

Ishilove, you know that thing you said about your former boss? A married man tried it with me. He told me "let's get one thing straight: I'm a man of principle! And I respect my wife! So keep her out of it. Ehen, now that we've gotten that out of the way, oya plis date me, give me a chance you won't regret it".

Someone that I had only one conversation with and half the conversation was about his business. Facebook is a horrible place

But it's not new behaviour: someone I know (she's a Grandmother now but used to be a side chic in her heydeys) annoyed her sugar daddy. In anger that one seized everything he gave her: pots, fridge, clothes etc. Side Chic ran to meet his wife at her shop in Balogun, knelt down and begged the wife to please beg her husband for forgiveness. Apparently Wife had veto power (man had foolishly married his main side chic as wife no. 2 and was regretting it, so had decided to continue cheating but never marry any more side chics as wife no. 3)

Maeve7:
But you have refused to answer my question. Is it bad karma dealing with the wife who is asked to apologize to her husband’s mistress?

And was it karma that was dealing with your ex who had his girlfriend (you) cheat on him?

I did answer your question.

Karma is the wrong word, it's Hindu. Biblically it's justice. Scientifically it's how the universe works (Physics explains this better). Like throwing a ball at a wall.

Bad things will always happen to you and anyone.

However, there are things you do, that will always end up coming back to you.

If a tanker falls on you today on your way home, that's not karma.

If you stole all the money meant to fix roads in Apapa for years, bought land in your village, in Lekki, took nice holidays and sent your kids to school abroad and then one holiday they come home and a tanker falls on the car they're in, on one of the roads in Apapa that you should have fixed 15 years ago, what would you call that?

And most of us wouldn't remember you were once the Commissioner for Roads (or whatever they called Amaechi) 15 yrs ago. We won't even know the name of the people who died in that car. It would be a blip on our radar.

CS Lewis gave a very good example of God's justice in his book "The Horse And The Boy".

I grew up with old parents (in their 50s when I was in Primary school) and hung out with their relatives and their friends.

Which is why I laugh when I see men cheating. I have an Uncle who gives marital advise online, always talking about being faithful.

Notice how older men are very into preaching Fidelity. They've learned the hard way.

Side Chicks and 2nd wives will rarely love a man. They met you when you had money and will leave once the money is finished. There's no loyalty in their hearts, so why do you expect them to be by your side in your old age?

Which means that every man that is cheating is destroying the tree that he is supposed to rest under in his old age. That means rain will beat him wella.

If you like, do polygamy. My aunt is wife no 3, they married as a small girl to a middle aged man. She's busily building herself a house and a factory whilst the baba is in the village, alone in his old age. It's wife no 1 that cares for him.

And if you want an example of An Instant Dose of Karma Being Delivered To A Cheating Husband, please think of all the numerous men that slumped and died...in a hotel room with a side chick.

It is funny to hear about it. But that's how my relative died.

And I assure you, it is very ugly. Because most heart attacks don't die quickly, so better pray for a brain aneurysm or a cardiac arrest to kill you fast.

Most of them die in a lot of pain and alone, the side chic runs away and leaves them and the hotel staff panic and don't call for help until it is too late. They'll lock you in the room and be wondering how not to get into trouble. Some of those men may even still be alive but unconscious or conscious but slipping in and out, desperately wanting to live.

Is that how you men wanna go out of this life?

If you were home with your wife, she would at least scream for help and cry and pray over you.

Maeve7:
Is karma also the reason the wife was asked to apologize to the mistress? Maybe all the first wives replaced by second wives pay for their bad karma. Who knows?

Let me give a real life example (I'm going to get dragged )

In university, I dated someone for almost 4 yrs. We knew each other's parents, friends and at graduation we were supposed to relocate together and then marry.

Then a huge issue happened, it affected us badly and we didn't handle it well. Coupled with distance, we started having fights over the phone. And in my loneliness and sadness, I started hanging out with a friend of a friend (let's call him A) of my bf (uh oh). 2+2 led to 4 and I dramatically broke up (after one night of cheating) with my bf and swore I was in love with friend A.

Now, what I did followed the 80: 20 rule. And that rule is usually what a lot of people who dramatically end their marriages for another person or are cheating follow. And it will NEVER work out.

Did my "love" with A work out? 'Course not! He denied and rejected me so publicly (whilst privately hooking up) because he didn't want his reputation damaged. I went batshit crazy holding onto A who was emotionally unavailable, tanked my grades, my reputation took a nosedive, friends left. I kept making worse and worse decisions to dig myself out of the hole but only ended up deeper.

And it only ended 3/4 years later. Which is why they say "the Love no go last" when you look at all the couples doing this.

For my relatives who did this in their marriages, by Year 7 of being with the 2nd wife, you won't have guessed that they even liked that woman in Year 1 so much.

All the bad decisions I took whilst with A ended up derailing me for years. But you wouldn't have seen it if you weren't my friend, I was seemingly balling in the USA (I wish I could go into how bad things were but you'd all scream and almost all of you will quickly run to kneel down and pray for forgiveness and go and apologise to people you've wronged ).

And that's how karma works. You plant the bad seeds, you reap the bad harvest.

I've seen it happen too many times around me, to doubt it. But from the outside, they're balling.

God will always forgive you, but you must reap what you sow. Period. Like I said, it's in every religion and it's even scientific.

PS: 20 yrs later, my bf and I are still friends. And I regret breaking up with him. I haven't even talked to A once again.

bukatyne:
Considering our politicians are still doing fine, I don't put much stock in karma.

The side chic might at the point of marriage repent and marry well.

Here's the thing about karma:

Most of us on the outside will not see it.

That's why people don't believe in it. But it's real, even biblically, every religion states it, it's even scientific. You reap what you sow.

If you've ever screwed up and hurt someone, you paid for it somehow. And most likely how you paid wouldn't look related to what you did. And it won't show to the outside world either, when I got my karma for hurting my ex-bf, it was like a series of screwups that kept snowballing till I ended up in a bad place, 2-3 yrs later. But you won't have guessed from any picture I posted online during that period.

A lot of politicians have very messed up private lives or are battling something very bad personally. You're not going to see it unless you're in their private circles.

A lot of women I know who were secretaries to rich men and then 'upgraded" to 2nd wives, most didn't enjoy that marriage or there was an issue with their kids. I met these people when they had turned 45+, 55+, 65+ till death, you would have been surprised to hear that the husband beside them hated his 1st wife so much and chased her away for these 2nd wives. And at least one of their children had k-leg in their lives.

God has always promised to forgive you if you repent. But He never said that you won't face the consequences of your sins. The Lord said the sins of the father shall be visited unto the next 3 generations, just look at Chief Gabriel Igbinedion, his son and Natasha Osawaru.

So does karma exist, absolutely. Just don't expect it to show itself to you most times. And if it does, then your cup was realllyyyy overflowing.

Caaz:
It's the barren type....

Mine are not up to 2 months before they started producing,aldo i water them with constant cowdungs and chicken feaces

2 months is fast, I thought it would take longer for tomatoes to harvest

My kids are growing beans

Church is meant to be a place where everyone gathers and communes together for a good purpose.

I'm not quite a fan of most Nigerian churches. The community aspect is lacking.

I heard about this place in Lekki, for men, they gather every Sunday to worship and bible study. No frills attaches and apparently it attracts men from all financial classes, none is carrying shoulder. It's more like a fellowship.

I've seen Oyinbo churches and that's how they are: laid-back, Pastor doesn't wear suit. The mega churches are like Nigerian mega churches.

I'd love something like that, bible study and worship, no frills, no "dress to impress", bring your kids, like 100 people and we then do community stuff together after (clean the neighbourhood, build a school, offer medical outreach), make like-minded friends. Serve the Lord in truth.

nairalanda1:
I'm not blaming Nigerians. I'm blaming your government who made a wrong decision to remove toll gates and as a result remove a vital source of funding for road repairs and maintenance

See South Africa. Their roads are rolled. As a result they are far better than our roads. (Toll gate pic from there below). And before you start, corruption and stealing happen there live. Eskom and the railways are badly affected by corruption for example. Jacob Zuma and the Gupta's. And people there support their corrupt leaders. Yet they had the good sense to keep tolls.

You cannot have good roads on a budget that is half that of what the UK spends on its police force and expect good roads. MBA.

What you are asking for indirectly is for government to take more and more loans.

Check out the road leading into lekki and the airport road in Abuja. Good roads , both tolled.

Abusing me does not change facts. Nothing is free in this life

Airport road in Abuja is fine. But forget Lekki expressway.

And we used to have tolled Federal roads for all the states, they were still in bad condition.

In the North, their roads are amazing. It's the people in charge and whom they award contracts to, that are causing this in the South.

owobokiri:
Could be she had some sort of pre existing heart issues..
Sometimes the pressure related to such occasions can trigger things...
I lost a cousin like this. He had heart issues for long but was managing it.
Went home for December celebrations, then got invited to a marriage ceremony, he went there and had fun.., came back in the night, took his dinner and just started breathing heavily...
That was it.
Barely 25 as at then...
On the surface, you would blame "village people", but we all knew he had a serious heart issue..

My cousin slumped and died during a football match. He was a teenager.

My neighbour was weeding the front of his house, collapsed and died. Even my brother doing CPR on him couldn't help (because you can't do CPR for long, you need to shock the heart in an ambulance whilst rushing them to the Emergency Room. We don't have that readily available here).

Our ambulances are just to carry victims, nothing inside them and how many EMR staff do we have in Nigeria? How many states in Nigeria have ambulances sef that we can call?

When I was watching these K-drama shows "Heroes on Call", "Resident Playbook" and "Hospital Playlist" was when it really hit me that we don't have a medical industry in Nigeria.

Internal Diagnostic medicine doesn't exist here, millions can't afford even a basic annual checkup, every ailment must be "malaria or typhoid", an accident happens and it is between you and God.

You can be rich in Nigeria and die of causes that an average guy in Algeria, UK or China will survive from easily.

ajalawole:
F1 mostly have it special race course just like golf. If Lagos want to host such even they all need to spend to build a race course.

Lagos doesn't have the land for it. Ogun state or even Nassarawa would have been better (proximity to a major city and international airport). But Nigeria doesn't have the capacity to do this.

Slash all salaries and allowances for all Federal and State Civil Servants, starting from mine.

Announce public bids for supply of medical and school materials.

Increase salaries of Teachers in public schools by 200%.

Increase salaries of medical staff in govt hospitals by 150%.

Offer a lifetime payment in gold bars to the person that brings me 10 names of funders of Boko Haram and IPOB.

It'll sure be a busy week for me and Nigeria 😌

MsJackson:
yes it all started with the s-abuse of my 4 year old. They believed I would choose believing dem over my child. The marriage can go to hell and remain there, I don't care anymore.

I need you to please understand that your pain and anger, whilst thoroughly justifiable, is not helping you. Please forgive your ex and his family. Every day, start your day with prayer and then end it with "Lord, give me the strength to forgive that man, those people and move on".

You don't want to be bitter about things. Save your emotions for rebuilding your life, making your life beautiful in the eyes of the Lord. Work on yourself, smooth out kinks in your character, focus on peace.

It is expensive to file in court so saving up for that will take time.

You're not the one to return the bride price though, your family should be the one doing that.

As for your FiL not knowing about the new woman and child, it may be true: I know a case where the MiL hid the fact that another woman had moved into the son's house, for a good 8 months, from his own father, who was working towards reconciliation. She was constantly undermining his efforts towards reconciliation, letting issues get bad in secrecy, then bringing it to his dad when it had blown up.

It's why people always say that when marital issues start, the problem is usually the husband's mother.

Now that Papa knows what his son is up to, he should go and face the badly-behaved child he raised and all the enablers around him.

MsJackson:
no i haven't filed. He did the filing, though illegally. It's my story. His dad insists he still wants the union and reconciliation but his son is saying no. And I want to move on. I was just wondering what reasons could make the father reject the bride price. Anyways, I won't allow that deter me from moving on.

I think you can go and ahead and file in court, even if they reject the bride price. His father had plenty of time to keep talking to his own son, if he wanted a reconciliation. But I believe from your previous threads, most of his family seemed to be in support of their son's divorce from you and were attending church with his side piece (as Bigamy is not allowed, that's what she is until you guys legally end the marriage).

So ask your relatives to tell your ex-FiL that he should have insisted that he wanted a reconciliation to HIS SON since and he should accept his son's decision to end the marriage, you're just obeying that directive. Papa should also be aware that his son has a child with the new woman and that being in a polygamous setting is not acceptable to you.

A lot of times, this happens and the man's parent (usually the father, as the mother is too busy supporting her son) will do this. They're safeguarding their interests because they've seen plenty cases where a man is deeply infatuated and destroys his marriage, only to regret it later. So the trick is to keep the wife on ground until their son's eye hopefully clears.

And it will definitely clear o, but it doesn't mean he will come back to you. A lot of times, people prefer to accept the consequences of their actions due to pride and fear.

If they had truly not supported their son, he would have been rebellious but he won't have gone this far.

I understand why they're doing this. It is a cultural thing. 73 years means he's mentally active still. Is there someone close to your uncle's age that can be talking to him? Keep him company?

One thing I will always dislike about Nigeria:

We don't value trees or plants or open spaces.

Any small thing, bring cutlass and start cutting tree down. Increasing the heat and sweating like he-goat. Reducing Nature's beauty

Abeg, everyone go and plant trees and plants around your house. My home, we have lots of plants and trees, there's always birds and butterflies for my kids to admire and learn from. Lots of nice smelling flowers (White Jasmine), my son even planted beans that we're now harvesting (no more hunger )

COMPAQ:
We should bring them to Lagos to add a bit of colour to Lagos. The city is just so drab and lacking in colour.

Yup..that's why Lagos is so hot, we keep cutting down trees here.

A sensible city should do this: make themselves very residential and plant these trees all around it. A small city, like Surulere or Ibadan or Warri. Make your place somewhere families want to move to.

Not just "prophecy" alone, all the "life and relationships experts" who can suddenly diagnose a total stranger with Narcissism, based on the one-sided biased testimony of an angry, resentful spouse who is looking for any excuse to divorce their partner.

Because that's become very prominent. Every Ex-Husband and Ex-Wife is now a "Narcissist" and you, the completely innocent victim, must of course "grey rock/protect" yourself by brutally destroying them emotionally.

Something that even trained Psychiatrists and Psychologists need multiple sessions to diagnose, 1- 5 min videos and articles on Facebook and Instagram on "Narcissism" convinced you. Because you were looking for justification.

And social media is so evil: I saw a question on Quora, someone was worried she had accidentally accused her ex of being a Narcissist and the comments were like "it doesn't matter, as long as you FELT like it was, then it must be so! Destroy him!".

Same as Prophecy, once the seed is planted, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. It must happen because the spouse is looking to trigger it.

Even worse, when the couple finally gets to court, then everyone compares the behaviour of the "Narcissistic Abuser" versus the "Innocent Victim" and begin to smell the bullshi.t.

People should be able to sue for emotional distress and abuse.

You know what, I get this. In the Health section there's 2 giant threads for Pregnant and Newborn mums and then TTC mums. And it is a lovely community.

I wish we could do something like that for Married couples without it being flooded by people with other agendas derailing it.

Brendaniel:
Even if she lied to him and your sin doesn't know?

Do I have proof that she lied to him and my son doesn't know?

Right now, I know 4 marriages, either destroyed or on the brink of destruction, because of relatives. One person dislikes the wife and starts digging for dirt. When you hate someone, everything they do you'll turn it around and around until it looks wrong. That's how Nigerians work: "we hate this woman, so she must be lying somehow". Amassing curses from Hell on themselves.

So again, unless I am very sure of my instincts I will go with my son's decision.

If Mohbad's father is so sure Liam is not his grandson, give all the evidence to the Judge and the judge will order a DNA test. The fact that the judge hasn't ordered one but instead ordered silence means there's nothing he has to justify his accusations.

In addition to all the excellent advice already given, be gentle with him. He is very anxious and is trying to soothe himself. Find out what's going on, gently.

Brendaniel:
So if Mohbad accepted the child without a DNA, does it truly make him the father?

What if she lied to him?

If you were the mother of Mohbad, will you accept the child without A DNA test?

Yes.

Next question?

If my son has accepted that child, it is not my place to start trying to further destroy his memory.

SeniorGee:
How much from Lome to Seme... Stay there and be paying na. Your relative can send hotel money but they cannot send transport. You are obviously enjoying yourself

He's trying to create a case for asylum, which is why he's refusing to come back to Nigeria and saying that his life is in danger. When nobody is attacking any OPC person here. If his comrades can get him a govt position in Lagos state, he will come back sharply.

Brendaniel:
Why can't she just do DNA test and put her haters to shame?

Because it has absolutely nothing to do with a DNA test and everything to do with money.

The laws of Nigeria are clear: Mohbad accepted the child, so that child is his son, period. If she does the DNA test, his father will then take her back to court to try and prove she's an unfit mother (they'll demand her financial records and even pay a former nanny to "testify" that Wunmi leave the baby all night alone to party with men). And you men outside, will swallow it hook, line and sinker. Then harass her even more.

All for money. If that . musician's father was really for justice, he would be petitioning for a civil suit against Naira Marley who organised physical violence against his son (not a murder charge, but sue him). Instead, he's going after a cheap target (his widow). If the father truly had a case for paternity fraud, the judge would have ordered it (like in MKO Abiola's case).

The court isn't stupid, for them to have ordered a gag order on the father and his associates, it has been proven beyond doubt that the widow is being harassed. It wouldn't be the first time a Judge has seen this shenanigans from relatives hungry for money.

During a horrid time in my life. I saw B my friend and poured out my issues, same way she always told me stuff and I'd advise her. She gave some generic advise about prayers.

Then a month or 2 later, I got a random Friend Request on my Instagram account from a lady I didn't know. I DMed her and she said she was a friend of B. Even more confusing, I had no idea who she was and why she was adding me.

So I whatsapped B and asked her who this lady was. B told me the lady was "that my neighbor, her older sister nau!".

I became genuinely confused because I don't think I had met the neighbour and even if I had, I certainly had zero idea whom she was because that meeting would have been at most a greeting whilst passing in the doorway. So why on earth would a stranger's sister add me up?

B turned on the gas cylinder, full gaslighting:
"She knows you because I always gist her about you. She just wants to be friendly! Isn't that what social media is for!!"

That was when I realized that B had used my deeply personal issue as gist for her friends, those ones who had been mocking me as the "rich, spoilt girl" for years (B had a big chip on her shoulder about her and mine's social levels and I didn't help either) now wanted to gloat and spread my misery. So they were going through my social media, hoping to see me fall apart.

I kept it all in, politely greeted B's friend on IG. She ignored the greeting, busily looking for clues of my misery. Till tomorrow, she never replied that greeting. I unfriended her months later.

As for B, she pretended to check up on me months later, hoping for more gist about my issues. I was very polite and kept it short.

30 years of friendship, gone.

My mum had spent years warning me about B, I had randomly tweeted something B had done during my wedding and even strangers on the internet said "that girl isn't your friend". She used her hand to confirm it.

Uptheante:
In this context, is Natasha her son's enemy?

I don't know o. But as a wife, I'd be very concerned that a woman I saw fighting my husband's ex-wife for years and then decided to face me and announce to the whole world that her son was "missing" and "required prayers", a few months later is now smiling at me.

Nobody changes their minds that fast. Not one. Have you ever changed your mind that fast about anybody?

What tends to happen in these situations is that those 2 women are smiling at each other and hiding dagger in their brassiere, ready to fight at the first moment.

Badly behaved children bring out the most defensive, territorial mentality in parents. You feel like you messed up in their upbringing and that they need you more than your well-behaved children.

Na child wey get problem dey cause im mama to stay awake.

FarahAideed:
I always knew the electric GP will come to Lagos ..I will be there live

I emailed for tickets and they're yet to get back to me, hopefully I'll go.

Uptheante:
A good mother is after her son's happiness & aligns with whichever woman that makes her son happy & fulfilled.

That's not the definition of a Good Mother.

A good mother protects her child and sometimes that means protecting her child from his/her own worst enemies and impulses, despite what the child wants.

Or will you call your mum a good mother if your sibling brings home a drug dealer and is swearing that the drug dealer makes them happy and gives them "peace of mind"?

Human being are very imperfect and worse, wicked. Sometimes, that maternal love hides a heart of avarice, pridefulness and greed. Even criminals that scam and kill people, their mothers collect money happily from them. Are those good mothers?

Pregnancy and Giving birth.

It is insane to feel something move inside you, kicking and then slip out of your body, crying and breathing. And that something turns into a whole human being.

thanks4idias:
Please I need website where I can download kiddies educational videos for my son of 3 years

YouTube:

Ms Rachel
Numberblocks
Alphablocks
Blaze and the Monster Machines
Scibuddy
Nat Geo kids
Dr Binocs
Bluey


Back up these shows with educational toys (I have a list but @nefescorner on IG is an amazing educational consult who can curate for anyone, these tv shows are from her).

Mariangeles:
Come to think of it, I'd probably feel that way with cousin Ogechi, cos she's the way too forward type, and be all up your business.
Urgh! When are you leaving? 😩

I'm a lastborn and once a lastborn, always a lastborn (they will talk down to me till I'm 70 or they're dead, whichever comes first ). So I like being alone.

Since childhood, my fantasy has been to live in a medium-sized coastal town, far from my family. I can visit but everyone should be far.

The funniest thing is that my aunt-in-law is welcome more than one of my full sisters (case in point: I used to drive past my sister's house in Lekki to go to my aunt-in-law in Ikoyi and her friends used to wonder which of her daughters I was. Even my family used to look at me in awe, my sister would tell her friends and they'd be in disbelief.

My MiL and my mother are strongly advised to call me before coming )

Mariangeles:
As long as you're a relative/friend, you're always welcome.
I want to believe that is how most of us were raised.
[The question is even weird, in my opinion]

Now, whether you can stay without prior notice, that is a discussion for another day.

No o, levels dey. My eldest sister and my half-brother, my coconut head brother as well, are welcome any day, my Aunt-in-law too.

Everyone else, please call beforehand.

Certain people, "remind me again, who gave you my address "

None of the links are working so we don't know what courses they're great in.