₦airaland Forum

She's white and middle class.

She was a widow previously married to a man, with young kids. Some Right wingers are trying to use that against her, not realizing all the world will see is a white, blond mum who had toys and plushies in her car.

She was in a LGBTQ partnership. Which means omo she got Gen Z on her side.

She was apparently protesting the harsh immigration removal policies.

She then tried to comply and let the officers go and they shot her as she was driving away.

The ICE agents then refused a Doctor that saw it all, help her with medical assistance.

Even some Right supporters are worried this will be the catalyst to stop their movement. There's not enough "but what about Charlie Kirk!!" that will save this from blowing up.

Trump now made it worse by defending the ICE agents and lying that they were in hospital receiving treatment from her "attack", when there's video of her trying to drive away and not touching them.

The Democrats just won the midterms with this.

Both sides are now getting worried that reprisal killings will escalate more.

Do you know why Obasanjo is such a superior Nigerian mentally, compared to other Nigerians and Africans?

Because he chose not to be greedy and crawl on his belly, but to look to the sky.

In 10 years' time and more, we will talk about visits to Obasanjo library. Just like the White man does.

In 5 years' time, nobody will remember this Senator outside of his village.

OlujobaSamuel:
15k??
Outside the sch or the sch bookshop??
What's the publisher name
Longman, Macmillan, UP, Tonab, etc should not be that expensive na

Foreign textbooks cost more.

Now please, before you ask why I (in my professional field) don't use Nigerian textbooks, I will explain below:

Quality and Content

From print quality to content, Nigerian textbooks (for primary school) are of lower quality than foreign.

And I'm saying that as someone who loves buying Nigerian products.

We simply don't have the machinery, paper quality and inks to match foreign printed stuff. When we go outside to print, we go to India and ask for cheap printing.

And when you see a decently printed Nigerian textbook, its' price can't be covered by even schools catering to the lower middle class. E.g a decent Social Studies book by Farafina is only used in schools paying N350,000/2nd term (that's the cheaper term o). I didn't see it used in cheaper schools (like Church schools or govt schools or private schools in low income areas).

Iconic (the Math textbook line) won't sell to schools that don't have a large student body (they're looking at their profits). So those schools use Showers or other affordable textbooks.

Content

I teach STEM. Forget the content of any Nigerian textbook, they're not challenging if you want your kids to compete globally.

I thoroughly dislike most Nigerian Quantitative Reasoning textbooks because they don't seem to realise what they're meant to teach. So the questions will be set anyhow, using values that me as a parent, I have to bring out calculator to punch.

I use British books and Singapore curriculum (throw in a touch of China here and there 🙂). Nigeria doesn't have a Science textbook for primary that I will use (I throw them away) and when you see the curriculum for even Junior Secondary...head scratching 🫣😑😱 (e.g ask your kids what a Simple Machine is, then compare their answers to Google).

So that's why my textbooks are expensive, na only Social Studies books I dey use from here.

I develop curriculum and train new methods for Science and Math primary teachers and I'm tired of Nigeria and Nigerians' un-seriousness.

YoshihideSuga:
Sorry for being pedantic, but it's lend not borrow.

Thanks for the correction 🙂

I'll edit it now

Publishers and Schools are gonna be madddddd😭😅🤬😡

OlujobaSamuel:
Pls they should adjust the textbook policy a little more.
Schools should give list of books, and they should stop issuing books with not for sale in book shops.
Student should sort their stationery, they should stop insisting that they buy note books and text from the school.

Some top 1% schools already run Textbook Reuse system: they buy textbooks and then lend them to the students for each term. You can't write in it and if you lose it or tear it, you must replace it.

It works for textbooks where one book for a single subject is N15,000 or N20,000 (I had to buy some and that's how much it cost for a Primary school book).

Stephen0mozzy:
Mehn.... Shey we will not flip the switch to have women take the burden of wedding, just maybe they would be more intentional to say yes nor no.

Men do it too:

My mum attended a wedding and the groom never showed up. Bride came out and told everyone to start eating and went back inside. Band tried to play small music.

It used to be very common 20 years ago and brides would send a relative to sleep in the groom's house, to give advance warning if they decided not to show up.

Stephen0mozzy:
Make una try dey marry person wey dey happy to marry una o.
Before they start assuming whether family hide am or not.... what were the circumstance surrounding this surprise MIA. The guy maltreat am? The babe don first dey show sign of say she go run? Like subtle threats, of I'm not doing again?

Probably not much warning.

She and her family have most likely taken a lot of money from the guy over the period of courtship.

And instead of her to break it off when she realized she didn't like the guy, she or her continued or increased their greed (in the hopes that he will take the hint and break it off). I'm sure there would have been pressure not to let a "good man" aka a man with deep pockets, go, from her family.

He didn't take the hint, sadly.

And now she's at the final line and can't do anything else save to run in a cowardly manner whilst her family feign ignorance and shock.

There are times you'll hear of brides crying on their wedding day, then find out later that she wanted to abscond but her family was the one pushing the marriage. A certain society wedding comes to mind, it happened 2 decades ago: 6 months after a lavish wedding, marriage was over, groom was calling her a golddigger and telling the world all the demands her family had placed on him, to gossip mags and she had absconded to the USA.

To quote Pastor Jerry Eze:

"the devil is a bad devil"

When a couple is in divorce or separation, there is a lot of hurt and pain and neither party will be making good decisions and will certainly not be thinking calmly or putting the kids first. Even worse, the devil will be sending
bad advisers to each spouse, to further make fear poison their minds

"He will try and kidnap the children! She will turn the kids against you! He won't pay schoolfees! He will ignore the kids for new wife/gf! She will carry the kids and move/relocate away, you'll never see them again!"

And this battle lines are drawn, war will start, spouses begin to anticipate bad behaviour and read evil into everything the other person says and does and react based on imaginary actions that haven't happened.

Trust me, I've seen and experienced it.

There's this nice Medium article by Dr Becky Whetsone who laid out a blueprint for amicable separation and divorce. I've found it helpful and even send it to lawyers.

Remain Calm

Until the worst happens, REMAIN CALM!

"He said he will take the children away!"

Oya, pack their bags and give them to him, he will use his hand and return them (do you think his new babe wants to be a stepmother? Infact if you want their relationship to scatter, send your kids over. Her real character will be revealed faster sef and his eye will clear and then he can decide if his pride is worth more than his common sense.

"She will turn the kids against me!"

Not if you're constantly present in their lives. I know a man whose separated with 2 kids. Instead of living in his house, lonely and replacing them with a babe, he rented it out. Then got an apartment close to his ex-wife. He picks the kids from school daily; schoolruns is his responsibility, every weekend they go out together for walks, outings etc; PTA meetings, he attends it; he knows the boy his teen daughter is crushing on.

What lie can his ex-wife possibly lie, that will turn those children against him, when they see him almost 5 times a week? Don't you know absence is what makes lying easier?

"He won't pay schoolfees!"

No problem, you pay it. Infact, make sure he gets their term results as well, forward it to him.

See, I love the Bible: BEST BOOK OF PHILOSOPHY EVER!! Beats Aristotle, Plato etc hands down. Proverbs 25:22 and Romans 12:22 tells you to overwhelm your enemies with kindness and my Father in Heaven, IT WORKS!

When someone is looking to rile you up and fight you, don't give them ammunition.

It is hard but I've coaches people in it and one spent New Year's Day dancing in her in-laws' house, eating whilst her husband was alone in his house.

"He will kidnap the kids!"

Have a plan for how to retrieve them and for that, you will need your in-laws' support (see why you should act in kindness?). Because they're the ones he will hide the kids with when he takes them from you. Also go and find out the Ministry of Women and Children's Affairs in your state.

But most times, he's only threatening to take the kids away because he's hurting and he wants to hurt you. I once gave a gift to remind someone of his kids, because I knew he was hurting from missing them and that was the only reason he was shouting about taking them away.


"She will inflate the money for the kids!"

Let her. As long as she's not starving and money is getting to your kids, let her. She's the Mother of Your Lineage, you want her to be in a good place so that your lineage doesn't suffer and blame and hate you. All the rich men that give their ex-wives a lot of money, they're not stvpid, they know that she's the main person with the kids and her well-being means their kids are safe.

"She won't let me see or speak to them!"

Document every message. Buy phone, send it to her, make sure you give her advance notice that you're coming to visit and when. Even in Nigeria and in the USA, anyhow behaviour like that gets custody removed from the offending spouse. Trust me on this, go and check online, American women are losing custody of their kids anyhow nowadays.

Make sure every communication with your spouse, you're polite like it's going to land on Otedola's desk.

Give no room for war. Put the wellbeing of your kids first before your pain, your pride, your ego and your need to revenge.

Don't let the devil win.

I

Mariangeles:
Dolphins are like the dogs of the ocean.
Humans best friends.

Nah, this one was Divine Intervention.

Because if you watch Nat Geo Wild, dolphins are actually really shitty animals

https://sussexwildlifetrust.org.uk/news/dolphins-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly

If they're dogs, they're like Alsatians-Doberman mix or Rottweilers: in general, you don't want to mess with them, other marine animals flee from them.

They and Orcas (whose actual name is Whale Killer).

So this was God saving that man and his daughter.

ope2711:
When my family called her this afternoon, she said she's leaving me forever that she's traveling abroad by next week. I've called her family and explained everything to them, but til now I've not seen any reply.

Stay calm and focus on the kids.

She's making a terrible decision but right now, you may not be able to stop her.

So much must have happened in your marriage to make her check out emotionally, go through the stress of making concrete moves to relocate and abandon her kids.

I'm not blaming you or exonerating her; I'm saying both of you messed up but she's handling it in the worst way.

Ask her family and friends if they knew (someone probably knew about her plans), because it's shocking that they would support her. But in cases like this, they really can't speak sense into a person determined to blow their lives up, plus they're likely feeling shame about her behaviour and will be defensive.

Let's submit this to prayer, the best people to speak to her are her kids, her family and friends. So put them on the phone with her, she needs to face the consequences of what she's planning on doing.

It may not work (because the Bible is right that Divorce requires a spouse with a hardened heart) but let's try everything until she leaves. At least you tried.

Pele, please keep your friends and family close during this trying time.

ope2711:
Please house I need your help, the wife that I've married for over 14 years now just left me today with 4 children. We didn't have any issue before until 31st of December, 2025 when I discovered a photocopy of Nigeria passport in her bag and fighting started when I asked her what was going on. We've been dragging this since that day but today she confessed that she's already done with me and I should not worry about her anymore. She left my house this morning o. Today is the most saddest day of my life. Pls pray for me and my children.

Where is she right now? Like, who is she staying with?

Reach out to her family members and tell them what's up. Share your concern with them and assure them that what you're worried about now is her welfare and safety.

That fight and the passport isn't a good sign, but let's keep a cool head.

Focus on the kids for now.

Give it some days and let her family speak to her and find out what's up, if she was planning on leaving her marriage and starting afresh elsewhere, why, etc.

Try not to get defensive in the next few weeks and months (you're going to be accused of a lot, some will be true, others will be rewriting of history and some will be lies). Keep a cool head and get your family around you.

And for the love of the Lord, do NOT go running to another woman. If you need help with the kids, go and call your family members. Don't jump from frying pan to fire.

Igbophobia:
In the 1800s, native Americans would have called this guy, "The Big White Daddy."

What a sweet president he is.

Trump, when will it be the turn of Nigeria's troubles?

Please calm down.

Trump didn't just wake up and order this attack.

Obama was the first to say they would go after Maduro, as he was linked to the Drug Trade.

Biden then put a bounty of $25million on Maduro's head.

Trump finished the job by sending boots on ground. There have been build up of US troops around Venezuela for some months now, the CIA was probably looking for which of Maduro's contacts would be willing to sell him out and help the USA get him.

This is what governance looks like: you follow through on policy that helps your country, even if the policy was started by your political opponent.

Not like how GEJ was building schools to curb Almajiri in the North but Buhari came in and cancelled Almajiri schools, due to cultural differences.

Or how every Governor in Nigeria kills the programs his predecessor started, unless he can chop from it.

US troops will only enter Nigeria because France and other Western countries have been chased out by West Africa. Russia and China are increasing their power over here (Russia is going around Africa recruiting young men to fight for them). Right now, our only value is that the US can use our airspace freely to target Chad and Niger.

brain54:
It's not a real story bro...

Stories like these are fabricated to bash women, instigate gender wars and discourage and create doubts about marriage institution.


Don't fall for it!

This is so common nowadays, I wonder why it happens.

Then I remembered that they get paid for engagement on every post and these people are really no different from people on Onlyfans: selling a commodity, either fake sexxual intimacy or fake outrage.

The problem is that so many people are gullible and susceptible to peer-pressure.

YES, EVEN YOU READING THIS POST. EVEN ME SEF, WE ARE ALL SUSCEPTIBLE TO PEER PRESSURE.

So people are unconsciously believing these stories and acting on them in real life.

It's why you hear some marital issues couples have and are baffled as to why it led to Divorce. Not knowing that the Human Mind and Heart are very suggestible organ and needs to be carefully guarded what enters it.

Brothers, please don't use this to relate to yourselves, this is not your tax bracket 😭

Some of y'all are about to see red and go fight Iya Chukwudi over the N60k upkeep you send every 3 months and expect her to use it to feed 5 children.

Some of y'all are about to be incensed about how much Rupert Murdoch gave his wife and go fight Mummy Idowu, Taiwo and Kenny over the N10k you gave her (with a sprinkle of insult) to do Xmas for your kids.

Abeg don't use Bill Gates and Jeff Bezos, who know what their wives contributed to their lives positivy, and live in countries where women are valued, as your rallying cry over "Women are evil!!"

🤣🤣🤣

bukatyne:
Happy new year to you and yours.

Happy New Year to you, my sister

LibertyRep:
Omo!
This looks like conscription sha.

Chai!

It is and more of them will run into Nigeria to flee from it. Making us even more unstable

Hugose, do you have documentation as proof that you tried for reconciliation in the last 3 years?

Do you have documentation that you are paying upkeep for your daughter? E no matter if she doesn't let you see her, are you paying? And are you making effort to see the child frequently? Like, did she block you everywhere and you even contacted your in-laws to ask them to intervene and all this is documented?

Have you tried taking this to the Lord in prayer? (I know you haven't 😠)

You have a case, since it's 3 years. You can notify your wife that you intend to file and see what her reaction please.

And let that notification be so polite, respectful and calm that even her family reading it will wonder why she's divorcing you. And it should be written. Not verbal.

If she writes back "go ahead!", then go ahead. It may be uncontested and that's the best possible scenario. She may have moved on and wants it too. If uncontested and both of sit down with a lawyer to draft a Child Support agreement, everything can be sorted in 1 year.

But be prepared that she may suddenly decide to start fighting you again, people are weird, I've seen men living with another woman get mad that their wives filed (because they were using that wife as excuse not to marry their side chics and "how dare you divorce me, you dey crase?!" (Ego sturves).

If she replies in any manner that gives you even 20% chance that she doesn't want that divorce, please give Reconciliation a final chance.

Far too many divorces were foolish mistakes from both parties: pride, anger, resentment and ego getting in the way.

But the most important thing is to make sure you have access to your child, who NEEDS her 2 parents.

Hugose:
WTF HAAAAA. Is it that stressful? We have been separated for 3 years plus. I did not want it but she wants it, I have even pleaded for her to return as a family she has refused. She is in a better position to take care of my daughter so she doesnt let me see her. My life is halted no girlfirend, side chic or new wife because I am respecting the institution of marriage while I dont know where she has been or who she has been with.

I have seen a new lady who is willing to stay with me and grow again but I need to dissolve this first. Now this looks like big wahala.

Yesso. And I didn't even add all the "fun" parts like the Judge can decide that you people didn't try hard enough to reconcile and send you to Mediation and Counselling, see you in 3 months' time.

Or that Court can be adjourned forever and ever, including strikes by legal clerks.

Or that her lawyer can decide to file in Ebonyi state, just to piss you off and be making you pay transport money for every court sitting. Lagos is the most understanding court but also the crowded one, Ogun state used to be faster but too many people started going there.

And una go still have to accuse each other publicly, because Nigeria doesn't have No-Fault Divorce, so your gist, we go hear am. Complete with pictures and screenshots (all admissible in Court).

So...

Tell Big Auntie ...when was the last time you saw your daughter and how much are you paying for her monthly upkeep?

Because it is your RIGHTS as a PARENT to have access to your child. But you must also carry out your RESPONSIBILITY towards that child.

Or have you washed your hands off and are saying "She will look for me as an adult"?

Because bro...have you met this Gen Z and Gen Alpha kids of nowadays?!!!!

😭😮‍💨🤐😱

Estello:
Basically, if there has not been any increase in taxes or price of aviation fuel, why did the price of airplane ticket increase during the holidays? Greed.

The same reason the prices of bus fares too increase in december despite the fact that the price of petrol did not increase

Heavier demand is understandable but 200% increase, na wa o.

Price gouging and greed was happening

Hugose, please take a deep breathe.

Hugose:
Please how can I get a divorce lawyer within Ikorodu axis

Courts aren't open until January 2026.

I'm sure a Family Lawyer can reach out here for briefing, also check on X.

Have you been separated for a minimum of 2 years? Because there's no filing prior to that.

The ones I know are good, their fee is like N1.5 to N6 million, they'll file and do a good job, no delays. Most lawyers won't take a kobo below N500,000 and that will be for a straightforward, uncontested case and the court will send legal officers to make sure she knows she's being divorced, you'll pay their expenses.

Any extra expenses like printing and transport, you'll also pay the lawyer.

Be prepared to spend at least 2 years filing in court (High court is backed up). If your wife fights back, expect more like 3-5 years.

Divorce is Federal High Court, Custody is Magistrate Court and Traditional Marriage dissolution is Customary Court.

Your case will be heard with several other cases and they'll call your wife to testify as well. So both of you will wash your dirty linen in public for the entertainment of everyone. Please note that bloggers will be there in court and if your case is interesting, they are free to cary it on their blogs with your full government names. Unless your lawyer can do something about that.

Do you want custody of your child or will you share custody? The Magistrate court will have to send a Child Welfare officer to inspect your home and everything and you will pay extra money for their transportation and lodging.

Oh, some schools don't like Separated and Divorced parents due to the legal implications of them getting dragged into a messy custody battle.

Oh, you'll need to be able to pay for a house for your children. You're required by Law to provide accomodation and upkeep for them. So you'll be getting even more expenses.

Now, the reality is much worse than the little I've described (I left out more).

Would you like to go ahead or...

Will you be willing to take a deep breath, calm down for a short while and vent here, I'm sure there are reasonable people who will tell you one or two things that can help get you away from the dangerous ledge you're dangling on?

Please? 🙂

Bukatyne, the way Nigerian Men are terrified of Court Wedding is hilarious. The "Logical" gender has been so peer-and-social media influenced by Western media that they are scared that in Nigeria (a country where even Armed Robbery takes upto 10 years awaiting trial and you can even bribe to have some hapless innocent be switched for you), somehow there are Courts, Magistrates and Judges awarding half of a man's money to his wife, in Obodo Nigeria.

The Alimony settlement cases I've heard in Nigeria were literally out of court settlement and were all very wealthy educated men, the 1%.

They are surrounded by men who are balling and not pay shi shi for child upkeep and nobody can do anything about it, yet scream endlessly about "Don't Do Court Wedding, It Will Not Favour You!".

bukatyne:
Since your wife is not a serious Christian, willing to convert to Islam and you are not a Muslim, then do court wedding + Islamic rites with a neutral reception. That way, all sides are satisfied.

You have bigger issues though; if you are agnostic and your wife-to-be doesn't know, I wonder what else she doesn't know about you.

Then your fear of court wedding; what exactly are you afraid of? You think in the event of a divorce, the woman you chose and fought Jackie chan for is not worth 50% of the wealth in marriage? Isn't she going to contribute greatly by holding down the forth domestically so you have the chance to fly?

Besides, except you are planning to japa (and I don't know if Nigerian laws are upheld in the West , I don't know any Nigerian court awarding a wife 50% of her husband’s wealth).

I hope the wife is also planning for herself financially in the event of a divorce.

Olayinkabank, this is pretty solid advice up here.

I will add this: as your fiancee is willing to compromise and convert to Islam for your sake, you meet up with her family, yours and Alfa and sign a legal document that you will take no other wife except for her (even though Islam allows it, it is not mandatory). Each family should have a signed verified copy of that document.

Compromise goes both ways.

Share a room with your wife.

Whilst some couple swear it works for them (especially Western couples) and says it makes them "happier", I'm nowadays very suspicious of Modern Western Philosophy. You see, it's very changeable.

In the past, their elites had McMansions and married for business purposes. They considered "Love" to be something lower classes did and liked Separate Lives always, including Separate Bedrooms. Then Queen Victoria loved her husband and it became fashionable to love your spouse. Now, they're back to being selfish and self-indulgent, so we're back to separate bedrooms.

Your African ancestors did the same thing because they married for multiple farm workers...I mean, wives to bear children

But nowadays, you don't marry for multiple farm workers, you marry for companionship.

My cousin literally has 2 beds in his room, one for him and his wife. But still in the same room.

And I've heard of men who died silently at night, alone. Why should a wife leave her room to be checking on you when you're sleeping, if you wanted her to do so, you should have shared a room.

If my husband asks me to sleep in a separate room because he thinks I'm crowding him, that's fine.

But he better know how to save himself if he has a Cardiac Arrest or a Heart Attack.

He also better keep his phone charged and pray MTN and Airtel always have service and my phone isn't on DND or Silent, so he can call me if he needs help, since he wants to live a separate life.

Grace to all.

ebukal67x:
I have always said that the airport taxi system is a scam. Overhaul it and make it better.

Airport anything is usually a scam globally, fares are always higher. You pay for cart in Nigeria and America. The unions around them give kickback to the city in charge of the airport.

cupcup:
Maam, I am still saying again, somethings we do in this part of our world is not required,


Bible nd Quran it’s self is a book of story… sorry to say…. I have grown pass that level of manipulations , I prefer to serve humanity.

Our ancestors didn’t die in vein… we Africans are spiritual naturally … I don’t want us to talk about religion isn such conversations…


I didn’t disrespect her parent oooo.. I just went to read the message again …. There are boundaries in marriage …. If I go out on the field for 3-4 days her parent who doesn’t. Come to my house takes that chance to come to the house ❌ Remember I said I am Yoruba and she’s cross riverian

Culture different….

One final question..

How can wife’s younger sister challenge my authority?? Over my daugter ?? I stood my ground nd told them all what I do not want … On my wedding day… all of them were so energetic nd wanting to fight .. Right from father , to sister to brother, thank God I had 8 soldiers friends who came to my wedding on uniforms nd they mounted for me… there are a lots I didn’t talk about… but I orientate my own family not to fight before wedding day including wife… after wedding she kneel down to beg me… This is where I say it’s thier Gene, they disrespected me not me disrespecting them …

Anyway.. she had begged me this morning nd said she will change….

I read somewhere that one of the things you must watch for in a spouse is the soil they were raised in, for it will influence her growth.

When you speak to her in love, ask her if she likes how her family dynamic is. That should make her pause, because whilst we love our families, we don't usually want to emulate all the ugly parts of it. You too, tell her the same thing: "these are some things I don't like in my family, that I want to correct in my own family with you".

Her family only coming to the house when you're not there has nothing to do with her culture. My aunt doesn't enter her daughter's house when the husband is present because the husband was rude to her and her husband (forget rude, the man should have been slapped for what he did, even his parents were ashamed), she only goes when he's not home. And the man is Esan (Edo state).

I've seen a Kogi man accidentally forward the messages he was sending to his side chic insulting his wife and her family (who were paying every single bill in that man's life!).

I've certainly seen Yoruba people who were brought up without manners, I can't call them out because they're my family

So maybe the fights that broke out during the wedding (as una don dey use soldier battle during reception, you should have been way more careful because that's a rocky start) made your in-laws be cautious not to be visiting when you're around.

Please focus on the future and stop letting the devil give you "evidence" (example: her family's disrespect is in their genes, it will poison your mind slowly against your wife and every little quarrel, your mind will run to that. Speaking from experience. And it is very hard to control your mind).

Senator Natasha certainly understands Nigerians and Nigerian politics. She knows Akpabio will not forget what was done to him and there will be revenge in the future. So she's openly buying the support of her constituents and the masses (2000 bags of rice, a newly built house, flaunting her husband to pepper his ex-wife).

Once the heat is off her and there is no more threat of recall or sponsoring her opponent ro unseat her and she has sent emissaries to privately smooth things over with Akpabio, all these shows will end.

She has experience in fighting powerful men (she fought Yahaya Bello when he was Governor, to win her seat over his candidate) plus Uduaghan's (besotted) deep pockets.

Her mistake will come from putting her support for the PDP Presidential candidate openly. If Tinubu decides he wants to Kogi to fall, she's a goner

3seriez:
E be like say these delta guys roll different when it comes to polygamy.

Don't try us mehnnnn

Any small ting: Polygamy!

Your wife burn soup? Polygamy!

Your wife no kneel down greet your mama "migwo"? Polygamy!

Your farm is failing? Polygamy!

Army don go creek gather your boiz for illegal bunkering? Where Ejiro, make she use her bumbum console you...Polygamy!

Your anus is scratching you? What are your waiting for... Polygamy!!

Our men fit just enter house with our new wife, hear sound coming from the kitchen and be panicking that armed robbers have broken in. Only for them to calm down and remember they have married 3 other woman and they live with them.

cupcup:
Thanks a lot,

I appreciate you…. This your last words eat deeper…. I am calmed nd I learnt not to get angry more reason why I kept lowkey…. With respect, Your words are valid…. She just called me to apologize for her mistakes this morning!

I'm glad about that.

Please keep staying calm

And I know that we humans have desecrated the Word of the Lord, but don't look at that: go and find out who God is, all by yourself. Start with reading the Bible.

I have urges to do stup*d stuff all the time, but just wanting to love God and delight His Heart makes me tell myself "okay don't send your bikini pix to another man or post them on WhatsApp status😑".

I'm praying for you, that this is the beginning of a new season in your life.

In all my years, I've seen only 5 divorces that made sense

2 were so much domestic violence, the man's family was showing up to beat his wife up violently, another the husband beat her till she lost a pregnancy.

3rd one, we found out his criminal record when the police showed up to arrest him...again

4th one, his wife and kids showed up to scatter everything and he then admitted that he was trying to surprise the new wife with polygamy.

5th one, even down to his school documents everything was forged. Thank God for American embassy for checking these things.

So why are the rest of us allowing anger and resentment clouding our judgement? Why are we letting the devil do this bad thing, ehn??

Hi

cupcup:
I know in my message you have missed some point …

Bros, I'm not missing your point at alllllll

You said bills are high on you, you feel she's not doing enough, you don't respect her family and believe they're interfering too much, you're stressed because country get wahala and maybe other things going on...all those are leading to ANGER and RESENTMENT.

Is that not what I said already? That you must deal with those and don't let anyone add kerosene to the flame.

Trust me, nobody who is getting a divorce started by wanting it, they were just angry and resentful.

You think you're the first? If I send you to Oyinbo Twitter, you'll find men and women saying the same things you're complaining about. Down to the "Mental Health" complaint sef.

Everything can be solved by love and communication.

Don't let the devil give you "evidence" that you made a "mistake" by marrying her.

When older folks tell couples their issues are little quarrels, the couple don't believe them and burn their marriage down. Then in 5-7 years' time, the tree of regret will be sufficiently big enough for them to be eating its fruit daily.

How is her family's religious ideas your concern? Her religious beliefs are the only thing to concern you and it's your job to lead her in that. Again, that's communication and wisdom.

Your mental health issues...bro, leave Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. So many people have been swayed during their craziests, most emotional moments to destroy their marriages from those places. Peer Influence from Social Media is real.

Your wife is not the cause of your deteriorating mental health. I know if I talk to her, she'll have a fulscap sheet of complaints about you and they'll all be valid.

She's not contributing enough, okay that means trying a different way of speaking to her and asking the One Being who can help you in this matter

See, if you want me to tell you she's a terrible person, burn your marriage down, I can't help you. But there are plenty people who will validate your anger and resentment for you and help you do so.

I just really understand and have seen Divorce, Separation so closely and so much, I don't want to see anyone go through it (unless necessary).

Maybe you should go to Igbosere High Court and listen to Divorce cases for a week.

If that is too far, come and spend Christmas in my family house and listen to all the male friends and relatives who walked down the same path you're on and it's 5-30 years later, regret is very plentiful, like party pack. None of them will allow their kids make the same mistakes they made.

Or talk to matured older lawyers who handle Family Law and ask for honest advice: they'll tell you to go home to your wife, if you leave her you'll jump from frying pan to fire.

If you had mentioned enough red flags, I won't be sounding like this. Your issues are so fixable but you need to calm down so much and you can't do it by yourself.

And I'm a woman 🙂 no, I'm not supporting my gender. If you were female, I'd say the same thing.

Petrzoom:
What's the part of the marriage she's doing from his explanation except making him to come here to complain bitterly. Share of marital communal funds that he said she's not contributing a dime to despite forcing him to work from home?

Did everyone miss the fact that he admitted she drops N90k and it is not enough?

Here:

cupcup:
Contribution of 90k monthly. Nd to what benefit is it to the home ?? Zero! She wrote a list of how she spends her salary I screened, Tithe is even there But I mute

So she's at least contributing something but right now he's too resentful and emotional to value it and if we encourage him, he will soon begin to see signs of "Narcissism, Bipolar, Toxic Abuse, Liability" etc in her. He's even mad she's tithing. She's even sharing how she spends her salary yet he's still angry.

He's so blinded by anger, resentment and more that he can't see it and he cannot communicate properly. Which is why I urged prayer and bible study: break the negative emotions and be calm. She's done some things wrong (taking money from the child's account and nor trusting him), but he's on the warpath and this is not the best thing for both of them.

I'm not trying to defend her, just that I've seen this story before and seen how it plays out. In 5 years' time, after the dust has settled, all he'll be able to say is "we had our differences, we were incompatible". He won't be able to be truthful and admit that it was his fault and her fault their marriage fell apart, goaded on by peer and societal pressure.

I keep shouting that the devil doesn't like the Covenant of Marriage, y'all keep underestimating him. Go and read Reddit, Douyin and social media apps from other countries, you'll see the same pattern constantly being repeated to the point that you'll be dumbfounded. Tunde, Li Chen and Bradley are all divorcing the same woman. Adanma, Ekaterina and Consuelo are all fighting the same man.

Don't that make you go 🤔

You think this world is merely physical?

You think there's a benevolent good somewhere but no malevolent evil to balance it out?