₦airaland Forum

But why were they having conversations with him on the tarmac??

He should have been escorted or even dragged off, because truly that was an accident waiting to happen. The pilot can't see the ground beside them at that point. Or did he think it was danfo that you can stand in front of and they won't move? They almost all got crushed to death, that's so dangerous.

Abroad, he would be banned from flying.

papyjaypaul:
Our mamas in the past, some of them married 2-3 times. Back then, unless they tell you, you don't know some women's kids were from different men
Today people are afraid of marriage and divorce but men and women back then walked out if it didn't work out. Today it is taboo. The older I get, the more I love African wisdom. It has more freedom than the foreigners could give us

Back then, a Man who married a woman with children KNEW that all her children were now his responsibility. He didn't insist that their biological father keeps them.

That ensured that children ALWAYS had a father present in their lives. Children need BOTH their fathers and mothers.

A lot of popular families will testify to this, MKO Abiola never refused a child. But it ended up causing problems because people are greedy.

Nowadays men treat single mothers like lepers, punishing them for being responsible and training their kids. Which is why women are now opting to send those kids to their dads (and a stepmother who will never love them). Causing even more problems.

And that is why Divorce is described as Violence in the Bible: it wrecks havoc on the family and that affects the society at large.

To quote an American commentator: "I ain't never seen a school shooter from a happy home, before".

Respect and love him, absolutely YES.

Fear him, nope.

Love is truly greater than Fear.

Men who want their wives to fear them are usually weak.

Only God is to feared and loved, any human being demanding that is telling his wife that he wants to take God's place in her life.

GloriousGbola:
also as a nigerian, knowing yourself and knowing what you want in a woman may not really mean that much

I know someone who told his pregnant wife that exact line "maybe I didn't know myself before I got married", before running off to greener pastures and FB babes. He swears he's happy now, living with another woman. Saw him recently and "hmmm" was all I could say.

A lot of people don't know what they truly want till they've lost it.

A lot of men in my family got married not younger than 39-mid 40's. It's been a mixed bag of results. That's why I don't think there's a set age for anything. I had my kids later (one pregnancy was a geriatric one ) and I think I'm a better Mum now, not really because I waited.

A lot depends on whom you marry, because the guy I would have married in my early 20's was actually my friend (he still is) compared to whom I ended up with.

richiemcgold:
We can't be cutting corners and still expect quality education. Of course we all know the root cause of this problem, but hypocrisy won't allow us to admit our faults. Wait till next year when full CBT will take effect. It is then you'll know the real meaning of mass failure.

See eh, CBT in WASSCE will make JAMB results look like a masterpiece. It's going to be bloody!

I've started asking parents to prepare their kids.

I'm not a fan of gadgets but it's not the gadgets causing the mass failure of Nigerian students. Finland, South Korea, America, China and Japan are all gadget-heavy users and the average 15 yr old there is better educated than even a 20 yr old Naija university student (go and verify, we're in deep soup).

Our society is so broken, it's ridiculous.

We have NO morals: parents will literally bribe schools to make sure their kids pass exams;

Our Educational curriculum is so backwards (honestly we should really stop graduating kids from at least 60% of STEM courses);

Private schools are too plentiful and are a BUSINESS (which means kids rarely get failed)

Then add on the distraction of gadgets= recipe for disaster.

The issues in WAEC and JAMB have been growing steadily for at least 2 decades and the brain drain has made it worse (I can't tell you how heartbreaking it was to see some of the best teachers and lecturers I knew leave Nigeria to be replaced by less competent persons).

And it's not going to get better.

So get your kids a smart device and do something even better: sit down with them and use that device for deep learning.

Because your kids aren't learning anything in school.

Whilst there are some good points to this write-up, there are problematic areas as well.

Nobody knows the right time to get married, because there is no right time. Lagos High Court is filled with divorce cases of people who got married in their 20's, 30's and 40's. And I live in an area where I'm surrounded by marriages from men who waited till later to get married and they're not happy either.

I thought I knew myself but the me I am right now, will be different from the me in 10 years' time. Why? Because people aren't static. Life will test you and push you. And in a weird way, the me I am now is similar to the me from my 20's. So as people change, they remain the same.

You're not going become a Responsible man because you hit 42, if that were true there would be no deadbeat dads 😉

You have to work on yourself if you want a good marriage. Especially if you're a man. And that has nothing to do with your age. You have to be honest and look at yourself and ask yourself:
"am I worthy of God giving me my helpmate to love, nurture and cherish or will I destroy her and myself?"

(Most times, almost all of us are not and most of us will forget this halfway through marriage due to anger, resentment and disappointment. A lot of men don't realize how much their part to play in a marriage is and how the success of it depends on them).

Finally, I'll say is this:

Everyone, please be careful of whom gives you advice. People speak from their own experiences, rather than what is biblically sound.

So test whatever you read and learn against God's unchanging Word.

And I'm saying that last line as someone who wasn't a Christian until recently. Even when I wasn't a Christian, I still read the Bible and it made sense from a logical standpoint. Which, compared to other philosophical books and even religious books, is quite hard to beat.

Focusmind:
This is not about prayer or waiting on God for some miracle - If science can solve your problem, please go for it. It was God that gave man the intelligence to deepen the scientific knowledge.

This is one of the reasons why I do not agree with my Church, the catholic church, on their stand regarding IVF.

You will see couples, looking for the fruit of the womb for years, with penitential observation and prayers, yet, no show.

But they will do IVF and the thing will click. Is it not God that created the children born through IVF?

A friend of mine waited for 13 years and no child. He eventually agreed to an IVF with the wife and they birthed triplets. All na God grace, biko.

I'm Catholic as well and IVF is tricky.

It is a miracle, because a lot of couples try IVF and it's still unsuccessful. So it is only by God's grace truly. You can ask Doctors and TTC couples about how the journey isn't smooth.

This instance is a blessing IMO because the embryo wasn't destroyed, a life was spared and a couple have a child.

However there is the angle that sometimes it is in God's plan for some of us to experience Life's deepest pains, for our good and His glory. What if that delay was predestined?

And some people are going to abuse IVF and surrogacy (a certain Chinese celebrity couple come to mind).

So I get both angles. It can feel like humanity is trying to play god and the Church can't approve of that.

But make no mistake, Science is from Our Creator.

SimpleGuy001:
He was telling me that we can all go together that he is not going to suffer at old age if that is what I think.


He will get his allowance from me, and I move ahead. Hopefully all will be well and my siblings are able to leave.

Hello. So, quick question please:

Why is your father getting an allowance? Especially as he is using the money to be irresponsible.

Why are you funding his irresponsibility yet at the same time, complaining about it?

Didn't it occur to you that if you stopped giving his extra money, he wouldn't have enough to lavish on side chics?

Because nothing makes a man faithful more than poverty and nothing gives a man wings more than extra cash burning in his pocket.

Your sisters are not getting enough, there's a chance they may end up making bad moral decisions to financially support themselves and you're funding the lifestyle of the person who's letting them down, instead of giving that money directly to them?

Why? Heck, he's even told you he don't need you all but kindly give him money to have sexx outside and you're agreeing, then coming to complain?

That's like me getting mad a drug addict took money off me to go buy more drugs. Why would I give him extra cash?

Your daddy wants to be a Baby Boy and have a Baby Boy lifestyle, let him fund it with his own sweat. Wish him well and keep your sweat and money in your own pockets.

If my 2 boys are hurting my grand babies with a foolish lifestyle, I'm not going to keep funding it, I'll cut his supply off and see how long those other women keep loving his dry pockets.

And before you "argufiy" with me (I just made up that word ), ask yourself "if my mama stops cooking and catering for my siblings and dad because a LG chairman has entered her eye and she's borrowing money to buy wig and lace and screaming she's done with us...would I require a thread on Nairaland to tell me what to do??"

Don't marry a man that the only person he listens to is his mother. Boys really, really need their fathers.

Treat your spouse like your child at age 7: loving, understanding and patient and enjoy their antics. Because divorce is more painful and more expensive than telling yourself "my wife or husband is a baby to be pampered".

Be very prayerful, ask God to work on you and change you, especially if you're a man. Why?

Because the Marriage Convenant is one of the most powerful covenants in the Spiritual world. Which is why the devil works so damn hard to bring it down and destroy it. Every broken marriage is a broken branch of a big tree, it affects a lot of people (not just kids).

Men are attacked more easily because they are the ones supposed to protect their marriage convenant, not women.

naijapikin2:
nope... Nope... The issue is almost beyond us already... She has signed the papers already. What is left is for the court to fix a date and make a final judgement... But.... There may still be a 1% chance... Though I very much doubt

Is it an Uncontested Divorce?

For it to be sorted out this fast (a year).

I'm sorry for what you went through.

You've mentioned Infidelity, Violence and Abandonment on her part and Violence on your part too.

Please what do you think were your faults in the marriage?

Get some of your family members to sit down with her and her mum. So you can all come to an Agreement (written down, with lawyers sef) on custody and care. How much you will send (no matter how little, still send), how regularly you will visit, how many times weekly you can call and speak to him, if he can come and spend weekends with you.

Don't leave him and then come and find him later. Because whomever she dates seriously will be that child's dad, you'll be his father (more like an Uncle mentally).

Anyone arguing that this story can't be real needs to go to Lagos High Court and listen to Divorce cases.

You'll never hear a lawyer tell you these kinds of stories are fake because they've seen worse.

Or go and join "Females In Nigeria" group on Facebook and hear women tell you that their husband moved his side chic into the house and relegated his wife and kids to one bedroom and even got them camping stove, because he and his side chic had taken over the Parlour, kitchen and other bedroom. And the side chic will be very comfortable doing it and looking the man's children in the eye.

Years ago, my uncle did something similar: his sister and his 1st wife were in business together. But since his money had finished after marrying a greedy woman as 2nd wife, he went to his sister to lie to her and ask her to borrow him some of the money out of his 1st wife's money. It was immediately after that his sister (my aunt) found out that the money was given to 2nd wife (their older sister was supporting 2nd wife against 1st wife, so revealed it).

My aunt made my uncle, her brother, vomit that money in under one month. And yes, I remember every single nasty insult she used to collect that money

And the stories always ends the same way: someone comes to claim the devil tempted him and he lost his mind, please forgive and forget.

It NEVER ends well for the man and that is why if my sons try it, I will strip stark nekkid for him and the side chic in their precense and use a cutlass to chase them. Better you're dead than to disgrace me committing the same mistake thousands of men have made before you, stupidly.

She needs to look for an agent servicing Lekki-Ikoyi-VI, as her qualifications can get her a salary of N60,000 upwards. Her age will make it hard for her so they will need 2 nannies in the house.

Another option will be to find a school as she has teaching experience and make sure her transport costs don't break her salary.

A third option is to offer her services to parents around her: people are looking for childcare and nurseries/daycare. Even if na N40,000 monthly per child, watch them from 6am-5pmn daily, like 5 kids no older than 6.

They added King's College and Whitesands to say "oya dun let it look like it's just lower income schools we found problem with".

Whitesands don't have time to cheat on WAEC, it's a Catholic-based school and more than half of it's students are writing SAT, IGGSCE and Co to study abroad. What will they use WAEC for, biiko?

internationalman:
Correction 2baba is 49, 50 by September and he has always been a friend of Igbinedion, so hooking up with his granddaughter is not surprising at all.

From the look of things, the girl is the one that thinks and acts like she actually struck a gold mine. You think it's all about money? Besides being a honorable member, which other influence does she have in Nigeria. How well known was she before 2baba. She needs 2baba influence and popularity more for her political career than 2baba needs her for money or whatever. She might well go into oblivion after the next election, but 2baba has been a household name in Nigeria for more than 2 decades...

Her political influence might help 2face, that's fact. But 2baba had already been frolicking with politicians like late Stella Obasanjo and OBJ, David Mark, George Akume, Rochas Okorocha, Akpabio (go and watch his traditional wedding with Annie), Ita Giwa and basically all the politicians that matters in the current Nigeria and past.

So my sister, money aside, she needs 2baba just as much and more than 2baba needs her.

Lastly, are Banky W and Desmond Elliot married to a politician, where they not able to delve into politics and became members of Lagos state house of assembly or so? Are they more influencial than 2baba in any grand scheme of affairs?

Go and verify, politicians have always been friends with 2baba to promote their chances of winning elections. The federal opposition parties then wanted him to organize a nationwide protest for them if you recall. He has always been involved in Benue State politics too. Let me stop here.

You make some good points (this has boosted her profile), but you cannot compare 2baba to Banky W (the Wellingtons are a good Lagos family) and Desmond Elliot. Even Mr Eazi comported himself after bagging an Otedola girl.

2face is a short hop to fame, but it's looking more like infamy for her (with all her antics), especially in a patriachial country like Nigeria, where female lawmakers are scrutinised even more. I mean, all her videos of her before, people were alluding to substance abuse.

internationalman:
That guy needs to be studied on how to live a modest life devoid of unnecessary display of wealth. He doesn't wear those expensive diamond chains even in his prime and younger age. Besides BlackfaceNaija he barely has issues with anyone in the industry, probably why he's loved among his numerous colleagues. I met him once, he was hollering at every random individual there as if he was just a commoner.

Talking about wealth, he has a lot of investments. He's farm in Benue is like an airport. He has clubs, hotels and he's big time into real estate owing numerous houses in Lekki. A lot of endorsement deals too; and still actively performs in shows.

That's why I get perplexed when people say 2baba is broke and he's hooking up with Natasha for her money. He may have his own reasons for marrying her, everyone does. But not because he's broke. 2baba is just as rich and wealthy as your A-list musicians.

Dear, Tuface isn't broke but he isn't on her level of wealth.

She's 3rd generation of political money (Igbinedion was who Wike prays to be like when he grows up ) and a HOR member. Her salary and allowance can pay his child support for 2 kids.

That's why this is baffling a bit: because if you know her family, they tend to arrange marriages for their kids (lest any nonsense enters their family). So the fact that they've left her alone means they have no control over their child plus she's probably the Black Sheep of the house.

Because why is a 31 year old politician who can afford to buy herself a good looking accountant bro who works in the Big 4 or a banker boy with clean looks ...collect a 51 year old with 7/8 children, an ex-wife and 2 baby mamas??

I don't know if you can get HIV from clippers (it's possible sha).

But I do -know that almost 20-30 years ago, when HIV awareness was just spreading in Nigeria, my sibling was one of 2w w Dr's that was part of the newly formed HIV 22 unit at LUTH.

And it was filled with widows and some infected children.

But mostly widows of unfaithful men. Their husbands had either developed full-blown AIDs or had passed away.

I will never understand Infidelity. It is stupid and pointless, expensive and frankly not worth it (Nigerians, male and female, are all bad at sexx. Y'all lack the freedom and creativity. Even other Africans are better than us. Y'all don't even have sexx appeal).

hayden2234:
Lately, I’ve been thinking about starting a family with my wife, and someone mentioned a medical option that could help. I looked into it a bit, but I realize now I might not fully understand how it works. I thought it would be simple, almost guaranteed. But the more I hear, the more questions I have. I'm reaching out to friends and others who’ve been through it, hoping to get honest advice before we take the step toward IVF.

Hello,

There's a thread in Health section, called "TTC Trying to Conceive".

There's also another thread "Anyone Trying IVF/IUI..." etc, that's actually more recent.

Lots of information and a strong supportive community there.

HTH.

(Best of luck and God's blessings on you and our wife ).

Lekki is one of the worst places to raise a child.

Even in estates, you have to live in flats to have a community. Everyone is too busy trying to "better pass their neighbour". Even in church, you'll struggle to make friends with other parents. Playdates and birthday parties then become a matter how much you can impress the other kids' parents.

No where to take your children to hang out affordably, everything is priced upto your eyeballs.

And there are drugs everywhere. You can buy them on Admiralty Way. Lekki secondary schools have a drug abuse problem, some have started mandatory testing. Every December, Narcan is always requested.

Plus it is ridiculously dirty, compared to Surulere or around Alausa. Ikoyi has now started cleaning up, making Lekki look worse.

He's doing great.

Infact, he's doing a little too great

Social development at age 2 is far more important than Academic development.

So put down the academic books and give him crayons and paper and find 2-3 year olds he can run around and play with, a lot.

Because at the end of the day, Nigerians push their kids hard but are outclassed by White and Asian kids easily in Primary school.

omooba969:
Your epistle shows you have the energy for writing, but it's unfortunate you're very incoherent. You're all over the place, therefore, use your energy wisely.

Secondly, you're very disrespectful making a comparison btw your examples and Yul's position, while ignoring the fact that all the active players in your examples have been in their marriages previously but Judy wasn't in a marriage.

Lastly, it's sad to see how you Nigerians, who don't know how to vote honest and credible leaders, want to determine how two consenting adults live their lives happily.

Yul and Judy are genuinely in love with each other, and that's all that matters!

#EOD

But, sorry to burst your buble...Judy Austin-Obasi was very much married and a mother to 2 children when she started her affair with Yul. Her husband literally put out a video begging her to let him collect his kids. Yul is her 3rd husband, her kids from her 1st marriage are teens (she probably married straight out of secondary school, common in her tribe), her kids from 2nd marriage are younger

I mean, their pictures are on the Internet...🤷🏽‍♀️

Greatmec:
Hahahaha my story is weird and fascinating if you are reading or listening to it. Just that it's better you don't experience it, because if you do, I assure you that it will seize to be fascinating and become life-threatening.

Anyway Lagos is too far for me. I need solutions that could be found here at Aba or in Abia state or it's environs. Thanks.

Bro, enter night bus to MFM o.

I don't attend that church but when I went there, solutions started coming into my life. Infact, if I give you my story, you'll be at Ekene DiliChukwu park tonight. As I walked in, the Lord convicted me of my sin. I sat on the floor and wept.

The person that told me to go there, her friend went there and found solution

Please note that it's not the church alone. When my problem had issue, I went to Our Lady of Perpetual Help's altar with my kids and lit candles. Reprieve was given to us in an hour.

God needs to sometimes take you to places where you can hear Him and He can talk to you with sense.

Oya, open YouVersion app. Prepare your heart first.

Greatmec,

This is just so weird and fascinating. I really need popcorn for your thread.

Anyhoo, please start reading your YouVersion bible app daily. And then go to MFM Headquarters in Lagos for prayers. Sha know you go confess all your sins, because your heart must be clean for the Lord to be invited in.

(And you've definitely been cheating so... )

Lots of people have done this successfully.

There are a lot of Asians moving here for odd reasons and I think it is because Nigeria has lax law enforcement so even if they're caught, they'll be released. In their countries, it's jail straight.

omooba969:
Guy-man just dey load this woman steady.

May don lose o.

Strong something!

May has lost nothing.

Yul has lost out.

My Uncle did the same thing, 51 years ago. Ahswwear.

He was married, had one son with his pretty wife. Then started cheating with a married woman who had a son for her husband. And was denying it upandan and swearing he was just giving her ride to work.

Until her belle begin to swell and nobody was sure who the father was, her husband or my Uncle.

My Uncle moved her into a house and she became 2nd wife. She born and after a while, it was clear that the child belonged to her 1st husband, so they returned him there.

That's how this woman started pregnancy competition with the 1st wife (like Judy Austin, who has gotten pregnant 3 times in 3-4 years, even Dr's will be warning her for her health, but she must match May's children number for number so that Yul doesn't leave her).

My Uncle's wife will born this year, 2nd wife will born next year. Before you know it, 9 children in total.

And then IBB hit, economically. All Oga's money dried up.

When a man's eyes clear, it is a terrible thing. He will never accept blame for his bad choices, he will look for someone to blame.

2nd wife was right there, to take the blame for his poverty. He dealt ruthlessly with her. He moved her and all her kids into a one bedroom BQ, begged his 1st wife to forgive him. Then disowned each child once they turned 18.

Infact, till this day, the repercussions of that madness is still being felt. Those other kids are not seen as his children. They hate, positively hate their father and are angry at their mother:

"What were you thinking, leaving your husband to chase a married father because of money?? Look what you did to us!".

There is no older person who looks at Yul, May and Judy and not shake their head. We have all seen this story play out several times:
My family friend's Mum was the 2nd wife, she wanted to kill herself to born son so she can be secure in the man's house, she ended up with 5 girls. The 2 sons from the 1st wife collected every piece of their Dad's properties when he died.

When you snatch another woman's husband, you will be sleeping with one eye open, doing everything to secure your position.

And you go still lose am, one day. God no dey bless tief. See King Charles and Camilla: till tomorrow, everyone is still calling her "Olosho" and Diana na "Princess of Our Hearts". Every day, people say Jeff Bezos traded down from his wife to Lauren Sanchez. Eventually, the comments will get to the man, he won't show it but imagine the whole world calling you a fool, constantly. It's galling.

The whole world is seeing the "lurve", they will not see the demise.

alizma:
I need the advice too cos this is not funny any more. For people like us, I hereby announce to others that the 23 time sex per money is not within our reach, make una help o

Please read my posts.

It's a challenge, not a problem.

OnyeAghaJesus:
Another unfortunate incident of plane crash is recorded yet again in USA. Certainly, this one too many.

Follow : https://bbc.in/43GmSeT

Hello,

Please could you mail nry258@hotmail.com. Thanks

Phabulous4:
I see why you’re called on this matter. Not only are you knowledgeable, you also have first-hand, raw experience and a passion for young marriages. May God continue to bless and keep your home. My love to the little one (the fresh certificate you just acquired), lools!. Those kids are rockets, quite restless!

As for me, I’m very well domesticated. I do a lot in the house. I started bathing our child at 3 months, and I still do so even now, I back him when he needs to sleep, help to feed him, we did the potty training together, and even now, I still wake him up at nights to pee! I cook sometimes too, and all of that. I was out of the country for the past two weeks, and they could hardly cope without me around. That’s how connected we are, a perfect triangle. My wife can’t drive, so I handle the driving and school runs whenever I’m working from home.

My wife just categorically told me that we were not married primarily to have sex, i.e., sex is a secondary need. I’m trying to adjust to that reality, though it’s hard! Some things I won’t say on record!!

I'm not optimistic about any change, but might take few learning from you advise and try them out. The problem is if I even want to try at all despite all that I am doing now! l just want to leave things the way they are!

Thanks once again. You should have a channel where you do this and earn something on the side. Lols!

I'm glad you shared more.

Please read my posts on this thread.

https://www.nairaland.com/8405652/why-want-separate-wife/7#135187294

I know it seems like I'm asking a lot but truly marriage takes work and you're willing to do it. And that work is not gendered.

If she's saying sexx is secondary in marriage, she's not really being truthful about what is going on. Whatever is wrong, she doesn't know how to communicate it yet.

I know for a fact that Married women actually love sexxx more than singles, so for your wife to be declaring that she no wan do, something is up.

I've seen someone say she was fasting and giving her life to Jesus rather than admit that she felt unsexy and unattractive, to her husband.

Another story I heard, she was refusing sexx to her husband. It later came to light that "Prophet" told her to abstain from all worldly desires and "reap spiritual rewards". The wife had to be gently reminded that Esther didn't just pray and stop there, she wore perfume, did makeup and a skintight mesh lycra dress, with chunky gold accessories and 22" bone straight, then twerked and sat on his lap and played with his bear-bear, to ask the King to save her people.

A lot of times, what comes out of our mouths isn't what is in our hearts. We are all so scared of being vulnerable.

Please be optimistic. Once you believe it and set out with conviction, change will happen. I'm living testament.

And it's only Nairaland I have sense, I don't have sense in real life

And that's it from me, Phabulous4 and apprentis and every other husband with young kids and a dwindling sexx life out there.

It's not really her job, because even when she's at work, if Junior runs a temperature, it's Mummy the school will call, not Daddy. So her mind is never really there (women take a career hit when they have kids, globally).

So with kids, then work and life, you, her husband, will get neglected.

I'm sorry it happens but that is Life and we can't be selfish and choose our happiness and then destroy our marriage over pleasure that was just there in your house, if only you could have safeguarded your marriage.

Phabulous4, you even admitted you're losing your libido small. That is so very common for men, same life and stresses are getting to you. Start planning where you will ditch those kids in August for 2 weeks and save up money for Netflix and Chill with your baddie wife. Get some "Me Time" with her and remind her you're still her boyfriend

I hope this helps and this is the start of a new, wonderful journey and season in your life.

Sorry for breaking my replies into several places. Not only were they long, the circumstances that led to the hot fok of 7-8 yrs ago with my spouse, were repeated (almost, he stepped up domestically) in August 2022 and now the Consequences Of My Actions is scribbling with red crayon on the floor, he just decided to start jumping onto the floor from a chair laughing hysterically and I'm hiding to type this. You don't wanna be me and be doing Primary School runs at age 50.

So my last advice to you is: Gold Circle, Kiss, Durex or Trojan. Very important.

Good luck, bros. You got this 👍🏽

Phabulous4 and apprentist,

Please don't let her quit her job with pressure from you.

In Life, once you have kids, your expenses balloon up until they're at least 18-21 (remember you were both young and students). Plus, Nigeria, inflation is always going up, not coming down.

So money is going to be tight and you don't want to be the sole provider because it is exhausting, you'll get resentful and the Enemy will play on you mentally and you'll hate her and find yourself looking at girls on Facebook (who will start looking like "Angels" and then blow up your marriage.

Even if your wives start a business, make sure you see her paying some bills (could be NEPA o, even if na Netflix subscription and buying gas monthly). My friend said something to me: "I like knowing that my wife can handle some things around the house, by herself".

Financial independence is important.

So why not ask her "what do you wanna do, do you need another job in the same field? Or you wanna quit and build something that will give you fulfillment and a source of income, because I do want you being an adult who is independent".

Again, can you see how that's you being a supportive husband?

And yes, once a week, do Date Night. Like I told someone on another thread, when your wife says "I want to eat grilled fish and sharwarm", what she's saying is "I want to get dressed, look pretty and go out". So do that.

Also know that her body is out of shape after childbirth, so many women lose themselves with kids. She's definitely not dressing like her hot self and she's not feeling like her hot baddie self. So you come in and rizz her from time to time.

Again, that's how a loving supportive husband do.

You gotta love her like you love yourself.