₦airaland Forum

TayoD:
Classical Divide and Rule. I can see you've learned well from Lord Lugard.

Indeed. Nothing could best describe his ''advice''. Anyway, the problem persists - No end in sight. Let OBJ find a solution to it.

You guys are creating a ''favourable'' environment for con-men and robbers to start kidnapping and attacking oil workers. If you continue like this, all oil men in Warri and Portharcourt and beyond will be prime targets for hired assasins and killers. Make una leave oil people alone o!

Who does not know that the average oil man in this country goes home with ''armed-robber salary'' per month.

The One:
CChild

Those figures are for entry level. Trust me henn, I KNOW!!

You see the thing is that most people in the oil industry would not actually tell you what they earn because of the NIGERIAN SITUATION. The moment you reveal it, then all your immediate and extended family, people from your village and stuff tend to think you should start solving their financial problems and if you don't, they become your enemies. So folks just generally say, hmm, around 150K a month.

What I've quoted for you are entry level stuff OK.

Interesting.

Some so-called christian stars face such ''challenges''  too. I just finished reading some stuff about the separation and divorce of popular gospel artiste and star, Amy Grant.  A bit of insight into why she evetually broke up with her then husband, Gary Chapman, after more than 16 years of marriage reveals such things as intolerance, infidelity, lust, and above all pride.

Her divorce sent a once beautiful and respected family reputation down the drain.

TV01:
Not really, adultery and forgiveness appear to be the the two crux issues.

I don't deny spousal abuse is real, but the truth is, it is not essential to an understanding of the scriptures, is it? For a start, like you mentioned it's "extreme", and again like you mentioned, the foundation should be right. If it is, abuse should be very rare. And where it does occur, the "shared values" (and proper Christian intervention) should convict and help the errant partner revert to that foundation (which is Christ).

Again, on a basis of marriage being a lifelong bond, the suffering party may have to seperate, but it is always with a view towards healing and reconciliation (on that same basis). I think the error is to see seperation/divorce as a pre-cursor to re-marriage. No, no, no. 

I think most points have been covered and well articulated. I'd be interested to see if anyone can bring additional insight or nuance to the discussion.

God bless.

True. All the juicy points have been covered by the likes of goodguy, lafile and others. Similar attempts at dissuading the minds of some divorced folks from living in unholy unions in the past fell on deaf ears and blind eyes. These indeed are the last days.

boladonas:
In all of these religious sanctimonies, where is God's purpose for marriage?
Can there ever be God's purpose in Divorce?
Which one is supreme: The plan to bring you to an expected end or an expected spouse?
Until u know the purpose of a thing abuse is inevitable.
Until you know the value of your patner, divorce is an option
What you don't value, you will eventually abuse
PRIDE and abuse is the root cause of all divorce.
This is my layman's understanding.

Note the points highlighted.

1. There's a wide gap between God bringing you to an expected end and His leading you to an expected spouse. Although, the type of woman/man you marry will, to a large extent, determine where you will spend eternity. But let it be known to you that God will not choose your spouse for you. You've got to go out there and look for one that is compatible with you. And there's no room for mistakes. Once you get one and you went all the way to the altar with that man/woman, in the presence of all concerned parties and with their consent, then you stick with him/her through thick and thin.

2. I agree with you that Pride and abuse (Selfishness) are at the root of almost all divorce cases.

Now, I've got questions for goodguy et al. Some people get boxed into unwanted marriages by family, peers etc. And they go into such marriages with their eyes wide open. Then after a some time they come complaining to all that they're regretting ever going into such a union and want out. What do you advice such one to do? 


I see this is my 1000th post. I think I need a break.

GNature:
We have about $41 billion in reserves and an average nigerian can't boast of 7 hours
of electricity a day. Is that pitiful or what ?

You know what, I suggest that whoever is keeping a tab on the billions that we have as ''reserves'' somewhere will have to keep both eyes open 24/7 days until the present administration leaves Aso Villa; otherwise those billions will find their way to the backyards of various ''farms'' scattered across the country after April 29, 2007.

babyosisi:
and if the cow loses,free suya for all

davidylan:
if a cow can be part of the census then it should be able to stand in the presidential elections!

LOL!!

I signed on to this board in December 2005. Owo and I were often neck deep into defending the Niger Delta cause. I know I've done a bit of chatting with Snazzy, Wes, Owo and Davidylan. Now I'm an addict of Nairaland.

It just dawned on me that I've done one full year cycle on this board and I'm doing another one again!

Bop, I have read, and believe me, my head and eyes are aching badly. I don't think there would be an end to this. Until Jesus comes and put all things in their right perspective.

I hope Muslims believe in the second coming of Jesus.

okobo:
magun is in existance oooo my names are funke bolaji i recide in jos plateau state. my husband is not good in bed at all, and been a girl that ive tested several guys before i needed some one to help me out about three guys that ive met with have all have the same experience so please believe it. because it real i mean it it real am a victim of it how i wish i can come out and give u my address so that u can meet me one on one we could have prove it by u sleeping with me and c wot the result will be like. please be careful with wot u do and believe in it

Weird! This is a joke, rite?

Radiant:
Tiffy, I tell u eh, some people just talk as if they've just fallen from a mountain top. You're not confused.

You know what, I suggest you girls should just wait until you're ripe enough for marriage. Then lets hear your story, as in how you ''manage'' your marriage. Or are you both planning to remain singles all through your life?

Well, I was really surprise when she talked about cheating. I thot I'll hear something like  '''the day I raise my finger at her and beat her, or yelled at her and call her terrible names, thinks like that. Honestly, the impression I got after her reply was that she thinks I have the ''tendency'' of cheating on her and I felt pretty bad. So I told myself, I will not do it. I was a virging for 29 years before we got married. Could that be the reason for her fears? That because she's the only woman in my life, I might be tempted to look out of our home and go after other women?

Well, I've made up my mind, and I'm not going back. It will be difficult, I've come this far and have many ladies as friends, but I don't think the friendship will degenerate to the level of adultery.

PapaD is just being realistic - in his own way and from his own experience. Every marriage is unique in its own way. I know it will be difficult for some to agree with PapaD. What worked for him may not work for others. You just have to find that man/woman with whom you're compatible with. It can be difficult and you may not get what you went out to get.

I know that mutual trust keeps marriage going for a long while. But the ability to forgive, tolerate and forbear each other in a union when things go wrong is probably the key to a lifelong marriage, filled with happiness and fulfilment.

That said, I have never cheated on my wife. And God help me, I will not do it. I asked her yesterday night what it is that I will do to make her leave me. And she said she will tolerate any of my shortcomings, but if I cheat on her (as in adultery, infidelity), I will destroy her emotionally and she will leave me, and not come home again. So, I will not cheat on her.

But this is my wife. Some women might tolerate cheating from their husbands (at whatever levels) but detest other misgivings from their husbands. But that's why we are different.

saintchux:
One thing with us is that we talk with alot of sentiment

A governor left ANPP and decamped to PDP nothing happend
Some senator left AD decamped to PDP nothing happend

because Atiku decamped to A/C PDP remember joint ticket. But when other where decamping joining them, they did not tell them to resign b/4 joining them.

I don't believe in cheating. since PDP accepted others without them resigning from their party they should accept Atiku's decamping to A/c in good faith.

Good point.

Na wa o!

Jakumo:
Besides, Goodlucks wife probably sold 1.5 million DOLLARS worth of eggs from her backyard poultry, so who is to blame her from trying to spirit the funds to a safer economic environment ?

Funny!

A paradigm shift in how we look at issues generally is desired. We cannot continue to look at the way the country is governed with some kind of ''satisfaction''. Anyway, the satisfied lot among us in this country are pretty few; and we need not bother about them.

Our tertiary institutions are in a pariah state. Only 10% (or less) of all the qualified candidates gain admission to the university of their choice. Often times, there's no space to accommodate qualified candidates. Yet, some people are using public money to build Bells University meant for the rich. Health and public utility systems are in the worst state of disrepair ever, as a matter of fact, our hospitals are actually morgues in disguise. Emergency response unit only responds to gather dead bodies of victims of disasters across the country.

It's only during the lifetime of this administration that a serving Inspector General of Police will come out to publicly state that his Police Force is incapable of handling the crime wave rocking major towns and cities across the country. Despite the huge billions of public money sunk into the force. Our FG has acknowledged this much. They claimed the police force is ''underfunded'' and needs help. I wonder where all that huge billions moved to. It should be in some private pockets e.g. Tafa Balogun and company.

Now, I want to ask every reasonable person on this forum if it's right thinking for a government that cannot guarantee public safety of its citizens across the cities and towns in the country, to initiate plans of linking the same towns and cities by rail networks? Is it right thinking for a government that cannot handle the repairs of the existing road networks linking towns and cities to award contracts to link the cities by rail networks?

I have this feeling that when I get on board one of those trains (if it ever see the light of the day), I will be travelling with my heart in my mouth, knowing that hoodlums will be at the other end waiting for me to alight and part with my valuables.

Loverbwoy,
I guess the Canadian firm knows we're richly blessed with abundant Natural Gas reserves and that must have informed their thinking of building LNG-powered goods and passenger trains for Nigeria. The thinking here is that we'll be provided with very cheaply powered, efficient and clean locomotives. It's a well known fact that LNG (Liquified Natural Gas) is one of the cleanest fuel source around in the world today. I don't see anything wrong with that. And if their reputation, as stated by Jaybaba is that sound, then I think they've got nothing to loose, and no harm to us, by coming to Naija to build such rail networks and trains.

Our problem in this country, as everyone has acknowledge so far, is stinking leadership. And I must state that the OBJ years are probably the most directionless, disoriented and wasteful of all the administrations we've had as a country.

Davidylan,
Could you please tell us the meaning of  ''FLAG OFF'' in Nigerian context? I'm eager to know it, I'm not sure I have the right meaning of the phrase.

Jakumo:
On a sartorial note, if Goodluck does become Nigeria's next Vice President, he has got to lose that Clint Eastwood cowboy hat, or at least put it away when indoors. And he shouldn't smile all the time. Lot of folks find it hard to trust a man who is always smiling, not that it makes any difference in the Nigerian context.

Jakumo, that's the way we do our thing down here in the Delta. That hat separate us from other ethnic groupings in the country. And no one can change that. No, not at this point in time in our history. And I would be surprised if Jonathan heed your advice.

stanech:
All those asking him to choose another platform should know that there is no way PDP will loose to any other party even if all Nigerians voted for that party.

Could you please shed more light on this?

Afam:
So, is IBB going to support Yaradua or Gasau since he claimed to have promised the 2 his support?

Or, am I missing something here, promising 2 people of his support even on the same target seems improper or cunning to me.

It's all part of the game plan. Throw in the spanners when it matters most and spoil the works, while you sit and watch as events unfolds. Then you strike when it's obvious that your detractors are confused!

One thing I'm very sure of is that she's not a Christian, talk less of being born again. Besides, I think you're on your own.

No one goes to bed with[b] burning coal[/b] on his lap and sleeps easy.

Much as I agree that this guy is stealing us blind, I have been in Portharcourt for a while now, and I want to believe that his independent electric power project for Rivers State is for real. I have seen hight tension cables stretching throught Portharcourt and other areas in the state, and although power supply isn't steady yet, I bet it would in no distant future.

This guy should be investigated without any delay.

Jakumo,

Ok. It seems you're all out to paint Nigeria black. Could you please say something positive? Just look around you. There's Obudu Ranch, Gurara falls, Yankari Springs and games reserves. The beautiful Jos weather etc etc.  Surely, there are quite a lot of goodies out there on Nigeria that you can talk about and let people like Coco29 feel at ease about this country.

On this Rat thing, I think you've done enough to convince us about the delicacy. I'm sure you've had a very good opportunity to give a ''fried rat'' a bite somewhere out there.

Maybe he's been banned. I get this feeling that he's reading your entries but cannot reply.

But things dey happen for this we country o.

mamaput:
I was married for 10 years.

was married?! Ok. What's your status now? Divorced?

I'll wait for married peeps to contribute. And when I say married peeps, I mean folks who's been married for 10 (ten) years- at least.

Not that I agree to wife-beating hugo hubby o.