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Every problem has a root cause and in other to solve it, you must tackle it from the root. The major issue hear is money. And it's a common problem among families. Besides from your write-up, did you actually contribute anything towards renting the shop?

Wayforward
I can't easily tell from your post if your wife is a good or bad person but what I can say is that instead of sending her packing now, try to show first by action you are not happy with her or talk things through. If she values you, she will do anything she can to rekindle the love.
And lastly do whatever you can to cater for her needs since the two of you are now one.


For more advice, I have a counseling platform group so you can message me on WhatsApp +2348027024393 (Ortintin is my name)


igwebest23

Link to original post
https://www.nairaland.com/6574885/want-send-wife-packing

AishaYesufu:
You are either a woman or a simp.

What a silly advice

My respect for you just drop a point. Can't you correct someone without insult?
I know mentioning Hausa strikes a chord. And since all your friends married at age 11 you should know better.

Since you said your wife is just 22 years, am not surprised since at that stage people have tendency to mingle and don't want to get bored.

Way forward
Don't try to cut her off from calling her bestie But try to spice things up in your own way. Do everything you can to make sure the marriage isn't boring like taking her to dinner, cinemas etc.
Besides she will also need more mentoring from her parents and you on how wife should behave. Am sure if she were to be hausa, she would know all this.

So teach her, treat her well, talk to her and advice her gently.

Besides does she have a job or what keeps her busy?

For more advice, I have a counseling platform group so you can message me on WhatsApp +2348027024393 (Ortintin is my name)


Nacoss25

Link to post
https://www.nairaland.com/6569679/cutting-connection-wife-male-besty

lilvicky68:
Nairaland special adviser.. welldone

Lolz thank u

It's obvious you are still in a mourning stage and you love your wife dearly. Therefore you are not ready for relationships. Ofcourse when you spend such amount of years with someone, it's obvious you won't forget them easily.

Wayforward
Ofcourse the quickest solution is to tell the new woman to leave with her kids. But just before you do that, we have to be sure of her intentions. To do this you have to test her to know what she really want from you or if she is a good woman.

You never can tell if your wife wishes you move on or if you can get someone better.
So a simple test like feigning you are in trouble or in debt or you need money (or one of your child is sick) and watch how she trys to solve or profer solution goes a long way in showing she has you and your kids in mind.

After this, you have another hurdle to scale cause when you show love to your kids more than her own she will feel bad. So you have to take the role of a strict father to balance the scale.

For more advice, I have an advice running group so you can message me on WhatsApp +2348027024393 (Ortintin is my name)


Link to the post
https://www.nairaland.com/6545569/family-problems-remarrying


@family6644

This is what happens when you marry a very boring man.

Way forward
You have to speak up and don't keep things to yourself. Let him know you are not happy staying at home doing same things all over again. Ask him how he intends to spice things up and you can even make your own suggestions.

And please marriage is not a burden.

For more advice, I have an advice running group so you can message me on WhatsApp +2348027024393 (Ortintin is my name)

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HarunaWest:
Well you are right. Same happened to me. Learnt it's a system challenge that they have been battling....It started after they declared 230B PAT....Be like say some personnel dey disgruntled

Oh oh... Bt wat do u mean by 230b pat abeg

For the past two months now have been having series of network issue with Zenith Bank.

Infact a case worthy of mention was when a customer transferred around 4pm and I received alert around 11pm. To make matter worst he sent an uber and i was expecting this alert so i can give the package to the uber driver. He waited for hours and I even went to ATM to confirm but nothing. Ofcourse he later collected it the next day.

Just yesterday I transfered from my Gt bank to Zenith around 9:45am and I didn't recieve the money until around 3pm.

This is just to mention a few.

Please is it only me or is anyone experiencing this Zenith bank issue?

First I will say this is a very sensitive issue and since it's a matter of misconception, the harder you try to convince the woman the more she will think you and your brother are trying to play her.

Way forward
Yes you are right to want to confront her. Try pay them a visit. Sit the two of them down and sincerely tell her about how you paid your money put every small and minute details like how you paid, where you met the person you paid to what he said and so on. Since a true story will always carry more water than a cooked lie.

Tell her that you could have kept quiet and let her accuse her husband wrongly but you just have to say something to save their marriage.
Besides let her know it pains you that she doesn't trust her husband

Lastly tell her if she doesn't believe, she is free to do whatever she can to find out the truth. You have spoken your mind.
Note: Do not quarrel or show any form of anger while talking to her.
- This issue goes a long way in showing your brother can't control his home infact the wife seems to be the head and i if he doesn't man up his wife will wrap him around her fingers. But don't tell your brother this as he might take it in the negative sense.


For more advice on any matters, I have an advice running group so you can message me on WhatsApp +2348027024393 (Ortintin is my name)

Truth be told I see no fault of hers in your write up; infact she should be praised for continously helping you to stay clear of bad decisions.

Though a man is free to make any decision he seems fit even if it will lead to his end. And from your story you want to be in control.

If i may ask - how did she know most of these decisions you are about to take or why do you keep telling her about it?

Wayforward
Try to analyse and study the woman that you marry because i deduce you don't know her much. Take your time to study her.
That is:
- Does she pray?
- What is that thing she likes most or spend time on
- Does she seek any advice from you or she is the independent type
- how does she relate with people
-Does she have a secret or hide anything from you?
And so on.
Get results of these to determine if she is a good or bad person.


For more advice on any matters, I have an advice running group so you can message me on WhatsApp +2348027024393 (Ortintin is my name)

You have to give an instance or one or two examples of her anger in action to enable us determine what she is like.

We all get angry at a point in our everyday dealings and its a normal human flaw.

So give one or two examples so we can know how deep she is before I can come up with a reasonable soluion.

For more advice on any matters, I have an advice running group so you can message me on WhatsApp +2348027024393 (Ortintin is my name)

A man who sacrificed his two eyes for someone else to see is not considered nice but gullible.

By vacating your bed, you relinquished your authority to her.

And it is obvious you don't know how power play work. Or how to instill discipline on people or make people give you your own respect.

Please don't misquote my advice as telling you not to be nice or good.

Way forward
Do not run away from your room because of anyone. Go back there and reclaim your bed and everything.

Do not allow her to sleep with you even for a night (strict warning there is a reason for this)
Don't try to save the friendship or work things out with her let her find time to pack her things.

Do yourself a favor and read few pages on 48 laws of power to quickly realise where you made mistake and limit of sacrifice you can offer anyone.

For more advice on any matters, I have an advice running group so you can message me on WhatsApp +2348027024393 (Ortintin is my name)

Yes your father wants the best for you, but he fails to realise he doesn't have the means. Don't try to stop him from sponsoring you. You just go ahead with whatever he says while you keep doing your own thing in one corner.
One thing will happen either he realises he doesn't have the means or he has been saving up to give you that education.

The truth is that nothing in life is certain - your father's way might be the way to your success. But experience has shown that following one's passion and not parent's is his only true path to becoming great.

Lastly note that if your plan fails am sure your father will have only you to blame for wasting your life.

So find a way to merge the two together.

For more advice on any matters, I have an advice running group so you can message me on WhatsApp +2348027024393 (Ortintin is my name)

From your write-up i noticed you don't want to go back to lagos. This has a lot of meaning in which first is that your business is atleast paying bills and you have confidence in it even though it might not generate you enough income as you expect.

Is there a way you can merge the two together, that is can you be doing your business here in lagos and still learn from your friend?

Also apart from your business in kaduna, is there any other thing you are planning to do to better your earnings.

These questions you have to answer it in all honesty in order to decide what is best for you. Because you only know that.

Another thing is to create a table and write all the advantages and disadvantages you can gain by taking your friend's offer and not taking it. Tbis helps you to weigh everything and follow the best course.

Lastly, the effect of prayer can never be under estimated. A short prayer to God can show you what to do or not do.

For more advice on any matters, I have an advice running group so you can message me on WhatsApp +2348027024393 (Ortintin is my name)

I can guess the girl is not using phone that can whatsapp, facebook, tweet, chat, instagram...
Because this is common among them.

Just keep giving her the cold shoulder. Eventually she will tire.

For more advice on any matters, I have an advice running group so you can message me on WhatsApp +2348027024393 (Ortintin is my name)

lilvicky68:
Can you advise buhari for me?

Do u have his number?

They say pain is less felt when inflicted on others.
Likewise people pity you when you go through pain.
Help your parents and family in any way you can.

But you can throw a bit of tactics by sending a message to the village you are not feeling fine too or you are going through a rough challenge (may be work is not running smoothly). This makes those who hate or jealous of you to stem down their jealousy or better still pity you.

For more advice on any matters, I have an advice running group so you can message me on WhatsApp +2348027024393 (Ortintin is my name)

Well you have options here, either to let go of the money or collect your money back.

If you chose the latter, you also have two options either to collect your money in full or part of it.

In other to do this, you must do away with emotion by removing your girl from the equation and deal only with the father. Tell her to give you her father's contact and find time to see and discuss one on one. Explain to him the money is meant for a certain business and it pains you to stress him for it. Go further by telling him you are short of cash now and you will still see him specially when the work is done and he shouldn't be offended.

Nb: Never let anyone to be there except the two of you not even your girlfriend
Secondly never intend to collect all the 100k. 70-80k is decent enough.
Lastly thank him as if he is the one borrowing you the money or doing you a favor. This helps to cement your friendship and even build strong relationship with her daughter.

This advice won't be complete without mentioning the fact that you also made a grievous mistake of not carefully looking account you wish to receive money or atleast save your girlfriend acct number on your phone.


For more advice on any matters, I have an advice running group so you can message us on WhatsApp +2348027024393 (Ortintin is my name)

Anything that controls your thoughts controls your brain. If you can't be firm as a man to make a decision then you are bound to fail.

I see this as a case of where there is no fire but yet both of you are pouring petrol.

When you let dreams and human prophecy meddles with your brain, then you become a slave to it.

All am trying to say is that remove all forms of doubts. If you want to marry her, go all in and if you don't want to back out.
One other practical is to write all the reasons you shouldn't get married and reasons you should get married. Compare and weigh the two to make final decision.

My perspective: I don't see anything alarming for you not to marry her. Except if there is something you are not telling us or your in law to be is not saying.

Other things you can do
- visit your own pastor
- try to spend time with the mother or buy her gifts. Hopefully she might dream good dreams.
- Convince your woman that there will be storm but both of you will sail through it.
- Pray


Nb: if all hardships encountered in marriages or life was revealed by dreams or prophecy, then we will have a perfect earth.


For more advice on any matters, I have an advice running group so you can message us on WhatsApp +2348027024393 (Ortintin is my name)

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Have you heard of the proverb that "Pain is less felt when inflicted on others".

Since people find it hard to admit mistakes,
She is just looking for who to blame and you are the scape goat.

Since the security job pays 20k, I wont consider that as a good job. So I will advice you stick to the supervision job while you can continue to look for something better and hope that the woman fulfills her promise to you.

These are issues you have to discuss with her but in a semi joking way. For example lets assume she doesn't even clean the house, or she has one form of bad habit, you tell her jokingly and am sure the next day she will adjust. Don't press the matter too much. Just talk it lightly. For example you can say " Babe you know you are not nice o, you knew I have little paste and you can't give me from yours" Am sure she will be the one to even apologise to you.
In nutshell that issue is not too serious after all it is not as if you asked and she didn't give you.

For more advice on any matters, I have an advice running group so you can message us on WhatsApp +2348027024393 (Ortintin is my name)

Well for matters like this that involves spiritual undertones, the best thing is to pray and seek the guidance of Pastors or Alfas base on your religion.

For more advice on any matters, I have an advice running group so you can message us on WhatsApp +2348027024393 (Ortintin is my name)

Yes we all at a point develop butterflies and uncontrollable feelings when we are in love. I know the feelings is strong now and you dont want to mess things up. I have only one advice for you:

Think straight and use more of your BRAIN than emotion.

Use this trick when ever you are with him never let emotion (eg fear, anxiety, shyness) cloud your brain. At every minute refresh your brain to think straight. Laugh or smile when you wish to then reset back to thinking straight.


For more advice on any matters, I have an advice running group so you can message us on WhatsApp +2348027024393 (Ortintin is my name)

Yes we all at a point develop butterflies and uncontrollable feelings when we are in love. I know the feelings is strong now and you dont want to mess things up. I have only one advice for you:

Think straight and use more of your BRAIN than emotion.

Use this trick when ever you are with him never let emotion (eg fear, anxiety, shyness) cloud your brain. At every minute refresh your brain to think straight. Laugh or smile when you wish to then reset back to thinking straight.


For more advice on any matters, I have an advice running group so you can message us on WhatsApp +2348027024393 (Ortintin is my name)

Advice Concerning : My Wife Has Been Wearing My Shirts

In as much this is considered romantic, but I believe this is a case of things getting too much. And we all know too much of anything even food is bad.
You have various ways to solve this issue:
1. Start locking your wardrobes
2. Sit her down, look into her eyes and tell her you are not comfortable with she wearing your dress everyday.
3. After telling her and she persist, don't talk to her or eat her food again.

But please never use any form of violence.


For more advice on any matters, I have an advice running group so you can message us on WhatsApp +2348027024393 (Ortintin is my name)

In as much this is considered romantic, but I believe this is a case of things getting too much. And we all know too much of anything even food is bad.
You have various ways to solve this issue:
1. Start locking your wardrobes
2. Sit her down, look into her eyes and tell her you are not comfortable with she wearing your dress everyday.
3. After telling her and she persist, don't talk to her or eat her food again.

But please never use any form of violence.


For more advice on any matters, I have an advice running group so you can message us on WhatsApp +2348027024393 (Ortintin is my name)

A whole lot has been said concerning this situation and the fact that she carried out the test 7 times to ascertain is suspicious.
Its obvious she might have been having incoherent test results thats why she had to do multiple times to confirm her genotype.

Well this can't be undone since the child has been born already, so my advice for the parents is to know what's good and what's not good for SS. In general they just have to give her extra care. And a little bit of research on their part to help their child will also help.


I have an advice running group so you can message me on WhatsApp +2348027024393 (Ortintin is my name)