₦airaland Forum

I don't know him but someone uses the username

I think El-Dee is here

It seems the man has agreed to a nice settlement. Why is the woman even wasting another second of her life trying to drag the ho to court. She needs to face reality.

The poor child was obviously murdered. May his soul rest in peace

johndoe200:
Wow, such strong words. You are wrong though.

Just wanted to make sure that you are aware of what you are. You are not better than her in anyway. She is a human being and you are not.

Seun. Your head no dey house. Why is R-A-P-I-S-T now despoiler. You can't even call a r-a-pi-st a ra-pis-t because Seun thinks that ra-pis-ts should be applauded and not called what they are.

Rapist. You are a dog

It is possible. Some men were just raised not to aggressive to women. So I can believe that a man who knows he could knock a women out cold can just choose to deflect punches than hit back. So can a foolish woman cause physical injury to her husband who does not hit back? Absolutely and it is not usually because the man is weak. He knows he could whoop her ass but he might just be a gentleman

Nothing will happen to that girl. Sometimes I don't understand why women don't take control of their homes. You are beating about the bush knowing that your husband might even be endangering you and your children. I still don't understand why she brought up the issue of having a third child. Is she insinuating that it was part of some ritual? If that is even remotely the case why is she writing someone about it instead of facing her husband

Is this in Nigeria?

This is really sad. I can't believe that the man is walking free. I am wondering though how her intestines could possibly be hanging out of her vagina. If the doctor told them that then I think that child needs to be moved a real hospital quickly.
May God help children in that Nigeria

hackney:
^^^^ and before you know it, in 2 decades time living with a woman will feel like living with another man.

So if by chance you stop earning enough money to run the household your wife should be free to turn you into a houseboy abi? You people sha

I have read over and over again how Toni Payne was constantly being disrespected. I always wonder how she handles it. She is a strong woman. I know she made a poor choice with that 9ice guy. I personally think he has no respect for women especially since he contributed to the crap the mother of his child was being put through. As always Ms Onwenu impresses me with her wisdom and maturity. She's my shero

I am not sure why she gets offended. Tell her that you are having a hard time eating the food. Haba. Tell her you love her and appreciate her but that you really are just having a hard time eating the damn food. How in the world can someone's cooking get worse over time.

It's usually bad parenting

The poster said it was a small argument and there were also guests in the house so I am not sure how this can be justified. I know for sure though that I would never judge a mother in law that slapped a son in law that hits her child. Though it does not seem like the case here.

Easy come, easy go

My husband will even donate himself

High chief you responded exactly like I thought you would. I will respond because you actually are trying to help me see where you are coming from. Let's take the first highlighted part of your quote

You probably should not be married to someone who hates all your friends. All is the key word here. I understand you not liking one or two of your spouses friends but the idea of giving up every single one of your friends is ridiculous especially when these were friends before the marriage. If this friend is truly a problem for the marriage then any good spouse will give up a friendship that is actively destroying their marriage. This is not the case here. The writer is simply saying that those friendships should still matter because you are still an individual even though you are married. Your example of a prostitute as a friend is stretching it because you know and I know that the writer did not in anyway mean that it is okay to have those kinds of friends. If you need to get out without your husband and just hang out with the girls you shouldn't feel guilty about it. You can hang out without dragging your husband with you


Walking away.
Frankly I am surprised that you have an issue with this because you even see the examples the writer gave. These are serious issues. He did not say just quit your job for the heck of it even though you know that it will cripple the family. The writer did not say walk away from a good and thriving relationship. So why do you imply that the writer is not talking about serious issues.

Personal Style[i]
Personal style is just that; personal because pertains to the individual. A woman should be able to wear what she wants without anyone telling her that the style is not good enough. While there are dress codefor example what to wear to work or an event, if you feel comfortable in it and believe it looks good on you then you’re entitled to wear it and be happy without someone else telling you otherwise[/i]

You cannot wear something meant for prostitution and expect your man to clap hands for you. My woman cannot follow me to certain places without dressing in the right way. e.g. going for a meeting with business partners/colleagues, remember that saying "You are addressed the way you are dressed". Secondly, I cannot have friends in the house and my woman runs around the house with her transparent pyjamas, i will ask her to go change it.

The writers quote is in italics and yours in bold.
Is it is obvious that the writer did not say "if he does not like your style" but that he might feel "the style is not good enough". That is an issue. Your spouse should always be good enough. My husband is a very technical guy and he will wear a shirt from walmart and tuck it into a pair of "untailored" pants and wear that to a formal wedding if I close my eyes. If he insists on wearing that I don't have a choice but it is not a crime. If he was sagging those pants or unbuttons his shirt to his belly button when we are maybe going to church and insist on being indecent then there might be trouble. I don't think the writer was saying go and dress like a prostitute. It was more like your style is good enough.

Basically I am sure you get the idea now. Sorry I responded so late. I just got caught up with work. To be honest I don't think you are irrational by the way you analyzed it but I know that a lot of Nigerian men will immediately jump on it as a women empowerment thing and that actually scares some men off

[quote author=High_Chief link=topic=538888.msg7019417#msg7019417 date=1288113860]You are getting the whole thing wrong, nobody is saying its wrong for his woman to earn more than he does, but its surely a big problem when she does things without givin a damnnn about how he feels, just the way a woman would want her husband to respect her own views. IMHO love conquers all and each partner should always put the other person into consideration when taking decisions, even down to little things. I got a particular Jacket one time and very expensive too but my gal never liked it on me and I stopped wearing it.[/quote]Did you read the same thing I read. No where in that article did it say that the man should be treated badly. It simply says treat yourself well and with respect and while doing that remove guilt from the equation. Here is what you can do. Pick out anyone of those things pointed out and tell me the one that you feel just does not sit right with you and why. Then maybe I can begin to see what the problem is.
My husband is free to do anyone of those things and when he shines I am happy for him. You know why I will not have bad belle over his success? Because I make a point to do those things that are important to me and he has come to understand and respect that about me. Had he decided to have the attitude that I cannot because I am a wife he would have been a very very unhappy man. That bitterness usually comes from people who have not achieved what they are fully capable off or are simply lazy and go through life blaming everybody else for their lack of achievement when in reality you own your own power. This is simply what this person is trying to get across.

Was is not on this same Nairaland that people were cursing him because someone had been charged with attempted murder for accidentally running into GEJ's security detail. Did you guys not throw a fit that he had not even acknowledged that it was wrong. Also did a small plane that was attached to his security not cause commotion in a school in Lagos last week that even led to serious injuries to students in the school? I don't like the way he said it because he came off as a helpless person not the President of Nigeria. He could have done it differently. He certainly was right in addressing their over zealousness though

The grade of men we have in Nigeria is really scary sometimes. To say the least. Look at men getting offended because a woman is being encouraged to be hmmm let me see A FREAKING HUMAN BEING. The most insecure under achieving men I have ever seen. If you are intimidated by a woman's success then maybe you should not get married. Maybe you just not even have a girlfriend. Just sentence yourself to a life time of jacking off and mediocrity. What woman wants a man that is not confident in himself. Unfortunately many women in Nigeria feel like they are not complete until they drag a man home. Please guys stop embarrassing yourselves. Work hard and make yourself worthy of a woman who is turned on by a great man

deekseen:
I think the mom sounded a bit too greedy. There are other ways to reap from your child what you sowed, not by parting your legs and getting pregnant for him.

Oh please. It is this mentality that got this woman here in the first place. Reap wetin? What kind of love is that. This is a young woman (just 40). It's greed and madness that is driving her. You do not love your children hoping to benefit from it financially. What da heck

This is serious These delusional women that think that because they struggle to raise their sons they somehow now own them. I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later. The stupid son sef joined the madness. I wonder what he was telling himself while he was climbing his freaking mother.

Isn't it kind of strange that Mercy Aigbe thinks she just married another married man whose wife is also based overseas. Is it like a secret society or what?? Is there now a shortage of men

Osama10:
You are wrong.

Why do you say he is wrong. He has already pointed out that she has a history of miscarriage. If this is a high risk pregnancy depending on the nature of the risk sex can be completely out of the question. Some women are not even allowed to stand upright at a point in their marriage.

I always knew mutter was an idiot. Her statement about "handicapped" children proves it to me. I am so disgusted by her comments that half the time I cannot even respond directly.

chaircover:
OK back to simple secondary school Biology

The spermatozoa cell determines the sex of an individual. If a spermatozoa cell containing an X chromosome fertilizes an egg, the resulting zygote will be XX or female. If the spermatozoa cell contains a Y chromosome, then the resulting zygote will be XY or male.

So my next question is what will the in-laws say if the woman decides to get pregnant out side because her home-husband cant give her a male child? 

I think the Government should do more to further teach these educated- illiterates & the plain normal illiterates on how babies are actually made.

Do you really think education will help? I think for 90% of the people that go with this they will not care. We are not only talking about the men and the in laws here but even the silly women. I mean how many times have you heard a woman say that she knows without a doubt that it is her husband that has the problem but she would never voice it in public even when he beats her and abuses her for not giving him a son. How many times has the man stopped having sex with her and picks a woman outside that then has a son with that other woman then everybody shouts glory halleluyah we finally have a son.
You cannot educate these kinds of people. To me this kind of ignorance is demonic LOL. Seriously. It makes no sense to be as ignorant as some people "choose" to be. You can come in there and tell him, sperm, zygote, x and y etc and expect them to take you seriously. When people are this ignorant there is simply nothing anyone can do but leave with it or move on
We saw the sad case that just happened in Florida where the man murdered his wife. I really hate to bring it up again but it turns out that the only child in the family was not even his son. Which means when everybody was shouting that no marriage until she gets pregnant the woman realizing that the man was not capable went outside and did it. 16 years later she tells the man and then this tragedy follows. That is what I mean by silly women. You know the man cannot have kids but you go out and get pregnant and the man blissfully ignorant raises another mans child.

bawolomo is right abeg. The guys are little too sweet for my taste

[quote author=Aloy+Emeka link=topic=319961.msg6989821#msg6989821 date=1287713134]Its like you've been out of naija for a while. Dem go scatter that your door with 5 thugs and 3 kidnappers and show you pepper. There is no 911 or 999 in Nigeria.[/quote]They have rights in the US so it will even be better for them here. In Nigeria they don't have rights. You break down my door then you will really pay the consequences. I don't care where you are in this world. The most abusive people are usually the biggest wussies. In laws are no exception. I might have been gone from Nigeria for a while but I still know what's up. A teacher hit me once and he paid for it and yes it was in Nigeria. How much more when my family knows where they live. My home is my sanctuary and my children and I will live in peace. If you come to cause trouble I will not rest until you burn.

Can you even call these ones men? I mean a man who enters into these kinds of competitions might have issues