₦airaland Forum

Can you set it up in Imo state?

Sisib15:
Hello nairaland, So i met this man three years ago, we started talking and he told me that he's divorced, at first he doesn't want to disclose it to me that he has married before , i discovered through my search on Facebook and he said his wife packed out of his house and he has tried all means to beg her to come back but she insisted that she's not coming back even her pastor informed him to move on and he has moved on and they were married for 5 years without a child.
Then he asked me out and we started dating in which we have been together for two years now, my problem is what ever i do for this man he never appreciate it, he's always complaining to an extent that i feel that he's still much interested in his previous wife. I started staying in his house because his house is very close to my work place and i started seeing alot of things that i don't like especially he like measuring me up with his wife standard whatever I do to him i don't do it well like i don't know how to dress, i don't know how to eat, i don't know how to cook and he likes judging and always wanting to correct me. I love him so much but i don't know if i can continue with this. If i cook, i don't know how to cook, if people should hurt me outside and i told him he will judge me first before listening, at times he says some demeaning things to me and tell me that he's joking with me. At times, i feel that he's pretending, recently i told him that he needs to see a therapist.
My problem now is that he's asking me for marriage, i don't know if i should accept or i should stop the relationship, i am really confuse!
He's 40 years old and i'm 28 years old.

Run like crazy.

Would have left immediately I found he was married previously and lied about it.

Don't make the mistake of your life getting married to him.

Thedon22:
You can't give what you don't have. Someone that could not change Anambra to Lagos wants to change Nigeria to China and some people believe him. True definition of Zombiesm.

Please what's special about Lagos? Just a curious question.

I found it very difficult to live on the island for 6months. The traffic was terrible, paid 1.6m for a 2bedroom yet still had to buy water.

Maybe mainland is what this Lagos rave is about.

Registeredguest:
I'm a lady in my mid- twenties, I got married aged 22, (always
No insult please, I have cried enough.

You have an unforgiving spirit.
What he did is bad but isn't hat big of a deal. How can you hold grudge for this long?

What if he impregnated another woman you'll kill him

Kill that pride in you before it kills you.

Juliusdaughter:
I met a man through my long term friend and he has made his intentions about marriage known from the start. He loves me, is attracted to me and loves to do PDA when we are out together.

He has everything a woman would want in her husband, but I am not attracted to him neither do I have feelings for him. I love him as a friend tho because his physical attributes will not matter in that instance. I am slightly taller than him, even tho I'm not a tall person, I am dark skinned and he is darker than me. He has a really small stature and you wouldn't know he has money or works in good company.

He has told me his plans for us and it's a really good one, he works in top management role and he earns over 20 million naira per annum.

I have told him what I feel and he is really persistent, he says I should try and reciprocate his feelings and love towards me and the feelings will grow, that I shouldn't worry about the height of our kids
I can't lie, I don't feel proud this few times he's done PDA with me, I see the way that makes him happy, making me feel like a trophy wife.

There was this other guy I had feelings and attraction for, and it disappeared the first time I saw him and realized he isn't who he said he is. This confirms to me that feelings is flimsy and depends on circumstances.

To married people here, both long or short years in marriage; is attraction and feelings one of the major things holding down your marriage? Did you marry who you weren't really attracted to but you're happy now in the marriage? How will I deal with public perception of us especially when it's comes to flaunting him as my husband?
I have entered my late 20s and I don't wanna waste time, I don't wanna waste my time in vain waiting for the guy I'll feel all these for, what if he isn't worth it?

Had to log in to reply your post.

It's best to marry a man that loves you than a man you love as a woman.

A man that loves you wants to make you happy and it's natural for women to respond to attention, love, protection and provision from a man.

If you go after a man you love, you will be trying to make him happy which will not give you the satisfaction you need as a woman in that relationship.

And the man's gets upset with little thing but will be be more tolerant if he's the one in love.

I've been married to someone I love before and it ended badly.
I'm currently in a serious relationship with someone I had zero feelings for and he wasn't my type.

Took me months to consider this relationship and this makes him want to do more to prove he is the man for me.
Now I have feelings for him.

It is the order of things for men to chase women not the other way round.

Biodun556:
https://thenationonlineng.net/tension-over-alleged-murder-of-chimamandas-sister/?utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Facebook#Echobox=1659279805

What is wrong with you guys?

How can you guys be killing people and terrorising a state just to score cheap political points against PO.

Please ask Tinubu to call his gunmen to order.

EfonAlaaye2023:
all igbo are igbo are outside the country even those in Accra and Port Novo mumu people



you've been following my post but you didn't followed your hate filled tribe posts against Yoruba, North, Muslims and their candidates



sha don't carry your ugm mentality of slicing vagina to other countries you claimed you're before they go do that thing to you


dummy, wish your dumbness self good life

I know how frustrated you feel. I'm sorry that they've so much impoverished you that you now tie yourself with chains even when you have the keys to free yourself.

EfonAlaaye2023:
Tinubu will not get primary, dude got it, Tinubu will not be President, e concern you?



Nigeria is hard in your family house, I'm doing just fine, stop identifying me with your family abject lifestyle



I dont have any problem, you can't go out today in East despite you've your boy boy job because of idiiots you've as kinsmen yet you don't consider that as problem


you're just a cow with low IQ, a boy waiting for his father to feed, unserious specimen



if you think you can use me learn words, I go just rubbish you and put you to where you belong, Okpo like you, Ajadi

Lolss I've been following your post and pray your hatred for your fellow country man doesn't poison your soul.

It's so sad that the people in the most need for good governance are blinded by so much hate that they'll prefer to live in lack than be open minded about someone else that may have solution to their problems.

You were the same person asking for help to foot your wife's medical bill in a country where we are so rich that everyone should have free healthcare.

I'm in another man's country and if I fall sick irrespective of the illness I do not pay medical bills. Is that too much to ask of our leaders?

Unfortunately we are so blinded by hatred to give change a chance especially people that need it most.

The same igbos you hate so much voted enmasse for Obasanjo. Let me tell you the truth igbos are the least tribalistic group. We are too selfish to be tribalistic.

Ask yourself without hatred and without prejudice is the future of my child safe in the hands of Tinubu, Atiku or PO as a president?

Whatever your answer is, is perfect but do not have so much hate for a tribe your know nothing about in your heart.

I wish you all the best in life.

Ibironnie:
Hi guys, wrote my celpip on Saturday at Dragnet vi results came out yesterday lsrw 11,11,12,9. A nice alternative to the almighty ielts. You can buzz me for materials or tips.

Please can I have the materials.

Thanks

neonly:
You are a bad boy
How will feel if yur own child did d same to u
No respect
Karma is waiting
Am sure of you have channeled dat same energy to do some thing surprising for he would has still given u yur phone
But now u have allow phone to break d bridge between and yur father
The money was not d Issie u betray his trust
Goodluck

What makes him bad??

Because he took his property the dad had no right of taking in the first place.

Our problem is we see people standing for themselves as disrespect.

He's 27yrs old and not a kid.

@op you have to make a choice.
Stand your ground take your phone and leave that house.

That's the way you'll earn their respect. Your dad has no right to insult you for speaking up for yourself. That's abuse! Your kids will never do that to you to because you'll raise them better with mutual respect.

So much abuse going on here in the guise of parenting.

creepsyme:
I am sincerely speechless by this question, I wish I have an answer to it.
However, I am now feeling stupid.

No one is responsible for your predicament but YOU. The sooner you accept that and stop running to churches and strangers to fix your problem the sooner you'll also realise no one can fix it too but YOU.

creepsyme:
Hello moderators kindly move this topic to frontpage please and please.

I am a lady of 47 years.
I never knew my life would turn out this way, I never knew I would get to even 30 years without getting married not to talk of 47 years.
Well, for the benefits of doubts, I am super pretty and gorgeous, I am educated at least I have my first degree and one or two professional qualifications.
Nothing I did ever came out productive, I lived all my life struggling to make ends meet and attain the life I ever prayed and desired for, but to no avail.
I worked in the bank for several years and came out with absolutely nothing to show for it, worst of it is, my outlook never agree with my situation, people see me and beg me for money thinking I am okay not knowing I don't even know where my next meal will come from, I get cheated each time I buy stuff because I look rich to them sometimes I weep before the sellers when I discover I am being cheated until they become confused.

I have never in my life been choosy about a life partner Incase anyone may think I was been selective.
No man ever asked for my hand in marriage until I got to 39 years,I had good relationships that never resulted to anything, at the beginning of any relationship the men could literally lick my feet and move mountains for me, but eventually it ends in premium tears for me.
I have had opportunity to mingle with the low and high class, I only succeed in going around the circle of high class without even touching it myself.

I have tried my hands on so many things but it failed just to ensure I don't beg and to put food on my table.
I have prayed all the prayers I know, done all the deliverance I know and yet nothing.
I feel so depressed that that sometimes thoughts of suicide goes through my mind.
I feel sorry for myself and I always wonder if anything good can come out of my life again.
Sometimes I think about trying to have a child or two because my menstrual cycle is still very much on, but the thoughts of bringing a child into the world without any plan on ground make me to think twice, when feeding
myself is even a big challenge.
All my siblings are happily married with children and that I am grateful to God for, I only find myself going for omugo year in year out and now I have become big mummy with no career, no job, no child, no husband.
Sometimes I wish it could be a bad dream I should wake up from.

Iam just there getting beautifully old.
Now I understand why a lot of people commit suicide, especially when the light at the end of the tunnel takes too long and becomes bleak to reach.

I need someone out there to pray for me sincerely from their ❤️ I am loosing it already.
Nothing make sense to me anymore!

Can God still come through for me?
Can God still make me laugh the way he made Hannah and Serah to laugh?
Please someone should give me an answer.

Don't be hard on yourself sis.

Things can and will turn around for you if you believe. Try to have a deep relationship with the creator not religion.

You need to start think positively and stop saying all these negative things about yourself. See yourself as beautiful, intelligent, amazing, smart.

Every morning and night in sit a comfortable position and take in deep breaths concentrating on only your breaths and say below affirmation.
I am beautiful
I am smart
I am young
I am wanted
I am happily married to a spiritual, kind, loving and successful man.
I experience wealth as a key part of my life.
I have all the money I need.

Keep saying this every morning and at night before going to bed and your subconscious will believe it.

See yourself having a beautiful partner and the career of your dreams. Think about all the beautiful things you want in your life and how you'll feel when you have it every night before you go to bed.

The bible says whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

Harland Sanders was 65 when he started KFC. Vera was was never into fashion until she turned 40 and started her business. Ray Kroc started McDonald at 52 I could go on and on.

What you need now to be honest is not a husband and kids but to learn how to love yourself and be who God has created you to be. He didn't make mistakes creating anyone of us.

That you are too old is a from the devil as God doesn't see limits we humans limit ourselves.

Below will help you have a relationship with God and yourself and not see yourself through the lens of the physical.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L6v7us25uY8


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GihybX7JyG4

Karleb:
For your child to say you should stop shouting at him actually shows disrespect.

Correct that!

It depends on how they say it. If they say stop then it's disrespectful.

If they say mummy I don't like when you shout at me I don't think it's disrespectful.

rxmusa:
Abba Kyari bleeped up big time. He was supposed to that most honest and hardworking policeman Nigerians know. He disappointed the whole nation.
May we never be tempted or tested at the peak of our success

All of thiese are shenanigans to avoid repatriation to the US.

It's just dirty politics. See what our constitution says.

IghravweIG:
Please give us some examples of these kinda group. Maybe some of us can find one and join.

You can join your school groups,
Rotaract, Aisec, your community groups, your estate group, groups at church, football groups, there are so many just look around you'll find groups with people you share common interest with.

These are the people that will travel miles to your functions and even look out for you.

I know how many times we've contributed money, paid hospital bills for some of my old friends in secondary school and university from these groups.

There's a lot of benefit from socialising.

Most people commenting didn't watch the video. Read headline and ran with it. SmH

Ishilove:
Lesson learned. Me wey dey avoid mingling, I really gats to start mingling with people and not turn to an Island

It's not really about mingling like social butterfly. You need to join groups and be committed to them.

That's the best way to socialize.

jesusjnr2020:
Kindly state just one of facts he stated that proved that the wine Jesus turned water into was alcoholic.

If you are able to do so, it means he didn't state any facts that back that idea, but just facts that are irrelevant in this case

Moreover, what has the natural production of alcoholic back then got to do with the wine Jesus produced?

Did Jesus produce the wine through the same means used then?

The reason it sounds rhetorical to you is because you can't comprehend the sense in what I'm saying.

Jesus produced wine in a means that no one has ever done it before, so whatever kind of wine produced then is no basis to determine that which Jesus did. If you go back and look closely at the instance, you'd see that the reaction meant, it was a different kind of wine to what they were used to then, so shouldn't that alone suggest to you that it wasn't alcoholic as that which they often did?

If you have no qualms about taking alcohol, that doesn't mean you should drag Jesus into it.

The confidence you use to type thiings you are ignorant about is baffling.

jesusjnr2020:
Just imagine how shallow your reasoning is.

Not all wine were alcoholic, yet you believe that which Jesus turned water to, which was said to be 'good wine" was alcoholic.

Did Jesus brew the wine?

Have you ever heard of water being turned to wine before?

Have you ever seen or tasted water that was turned to wine before to conclude that it was alcoholic?

You obviously don't even believe that Jesus turned water to wine, but just chasing straws.

You are actually the ignorant person.

Wine is produced from fermentation of grapes. One of the byproduct is ethanol.

Some companies remove the ethanol and it becomes not alcohol wine.

Most of the non alcoholic wines e.g Eva and pure heaven are actually grape juice because they were not fermented. Because of how ignorant and self righteous Nigeria is they don't label correctly.

Cyntie55:
Well, I'm building a career to become a Journalist.

But I love listening to radio, sometimes I do turn to wazobia fm on our Gotv channel 303, and I would be listening to it while I'm sweeping and cleaning the house.

I enjoyed listening to Wazobia too and all radio stations in ph. But overtime life will set in and you'll get busy.

But I never called them.

swagficient:
Thank you. Do you think enrolling her in a Montessori school would be better?

I'll advise you enrol her in a play based centre. Don't know much about Montessori in Nigeria.

swagficient:
It's not about me, I'm only concerned about her welfare ( you know how things can be in school when you are not considered smart enough) I dont want her to go through that.
I couldn't read until I was eight. I graduated best of my class in primary n junior sec school.
So I know that that she isn't coping now doesn't mean she's daft. No.
I just want a means to make her at least average in class, to avoid being bullied. Frustrated teachers are the worst bullies.

OMG! Are you talking about a 3yrs old or 13??

The pressure is too much on that kid please let her play.

What exactly do they expect a 3year old to catch up on??

They just need to learn how to improve their motor skills with colouring, playing and different fun activities. Learning how to share, how to listen, how to take turns and no serious academic work.

My goodness!! Please withdraw her from school if you can and play with her, teach her using fun activities nothing serious.

This is why kids start school at age 5 abroad.

That child is perfectly okay. The teacher obviously isn't.

KulHeadedHuman:
I recently got an offer as dsa with a bank but I'm scared of the targets n all. I'm not so good with marketing and really doubting if it's the right job for me. I need advice pls

Note: It's an outsourced contract job, not full staff

I worked in a bank as a fullstaff and we had DSA's that are responsible for opening a certain number of accounts and getting certain amount of deposit each month.

To be honest that's the worst job ever. You are paid based on the deposit you get aside the little fixed pay. Not sure why people do it. Sleep will elude you and you'll lose your self confidence knowing you are contracted and treated as such by the full staff.

Please learn a skill and do business for yourself instead of roaming round the street for customers. Get the customers for your own business. Not worth it if you ask me.

There is Zero career progression on that job.

oldienavie:
I get y our point, like I said, she has most things I desire in a woman except she is older than I would want my wife to be.
I am trying to figure out if I should take the risk, let her go and expect to find another lady that has the same qualities but is younger.

Please let her go. She deserves better.

FERNANDEZISBACK:
Let her watch and observe..she is an innocent kid who has no idea whatsoever what you guys are doing..

Let her be comfortable around you guys when intimate... nothing wrong with it...

Please don't ever do this.

Even at 1year old. They can remember stuffs.

GenderMix:
Dear Esteemed Nairalanders of extreme wisdom, I have a 4+ year old daughter who is very curious and sleeps on the same bed with me and wife. Some days ago she almost caught me and wife having sex, so in the morning she asked my wife what I was doing to her…lol. Most times I hug and kiss my wife in front of her and do same to her (in her case, a peck and she reciprocates back). This is our normal lives. Sometimes, when I hug my wife before her, she gets jealous..lol

I think we made a mistake in not allowing her get used to her room from day one. We had tried to make her see reasons why she can’t continue to sleep on same bed with us but it’s all falling on deaf ears. At a point, we forced her to her room and when she woke up around 2am, all hell was let loose, I felt sympathy and told my wife to allow her into our room.


We can’t continue this way, so I need your advice (especially married couples with kids)

1. Did we make a mistake by letting her sleep on same bed with us considering she is just 4?

2. Is it too late to force her to her room?

3. How do we go about making sure she gets used to her room without disturbing us?

4. If she asks what we are doing at night, like the case where she almost caught us, what would be a good reply that would sound logical and educative for her own growth.

5. Is her jealousy normal?

Thank you

My daughter started sleeping in her room at age 4.

No argument, or fight but I was firm.

Before that I made her love her room by getting her very beautiful bed, princess bedsheet, nice skylight, princess tent and very beautiful princess painting in her room.

At night I put on her sky light so the room is not too dark and then play some nice bedtime instrumental.

That's how I got her out of my room.

Erums:
Assertive means... You are not hitting money making opportunity... Stop fucking around.. Get by he strap.... Get.money and be assertive

Only poor men think all there is to being a man is money.

What happens when you meet a woman that has more money than you do?

hearttoheart001:
I am trying to avoid flatmate or live inmate in the future. Hope she can really handle what she is asking for?

You don't know what she's asking.
Being a leader is different from being a ruler. Stop mistaking leadership for bossing people around she'll leave you and defy you. She's not your slave.

She wants you to be confident enough to lead and she can feel safe enough to submit. You may not get it right all the time but you are confident and know how to take responsibility as a man and be in charge.

Didn't know we grow these in Nigeria. Welldone.

advanceDNA:
Stop using the Bible wrongly....
Success is born out of hard work and favour from God

I can show u many men in the Bible that have wife and weren’t successful... Adam is an example...

Women don’t make successful men... u are just attributing people’s success to women they met later in their lives..that’s fallacy becos We have evidence of plenty men in this world that are not successful, yet they have a wife...

it’s hard work, taking risks at the right time, and Gods input that helps a man to be successful...

women only hide behind successful men because they like money....

Statement like yours is why young women of today chase and fight the mother ofbtheir husband.... saying they are the ones that made him....
You that he met in the streets after he has fought many battles ... the women that has been their since birth praying and benign there for him nko....??

Don't make it personal dear.


All women are not same. Some women make their husband's worse off because they lack wisdom.

A good wife makes her husband better off.

Shalom!

advanceDNA:
U see a hard working man that have come a long way.... u ddnt see his hard work, his sacrifice, his risks, etc..

To you, his success is from his wife... this is the most ridiculous statement of 2021

Loving his wife doesn’t mean he’s not a redpiller...redpillers love their wife.... their wives don’t control them and they don’t think with their wives and side chick’s pvssy

There's a reason God said he who finds a wive obtains favour from God.

If a man has a good wife, the sky is his limit.

For every successful man there's a woman supporting him and providing emotional stability for him to be successful.