₦airaland Forum

“As an advocate of an aggressive microcredit strategy for job creation, I would rather want to see 370,000 small businesses get 100k interest free loan within 12 months rather than have 1 edifice swallow that sum within the same period,” ....Makes sense.

Mrbabay:
I've always blamed the white man for all our problems... But recently it dawned on me that The Black man is his own problem..

Our problems are self-inflicted.

happybrother:
Please no plums in Abia. Plums don't grow in this climate.

Even grafted ones?

From what was written, the man has a rich history of violence.

dominique:
@bolded, most times people do and use the wife's experience as testimony. I remember reading one on Facebook where a lady shared how her uncle's wife endured all sorts of physical abuse and cheating to the point of the man fathering two illegitimate children during their marriage. Now the man has come back to her and she's now enjoying her marriage. At what age? All her decades of fasting and prayers finally yielded results when they grew old and that's what we should emulate? Tufiakwa!

Enjoying what marriage? You mean his leftover self that is looking for a nanny as his worn out self is no longer attractive to women outside.

ednut1:
3rd to 7th was removed by fashola. We still dey experience traffic

So much pressure on Lagos roads as population keeps increasing.

Huge.

Alooone:
I got married to my husband in 2013, we are blessed with 2kids (a boy and a girl), in 2017...barely 2 weeks after giving birth to our son I was diagnosed with puepurium psychosis...a kind of mental illness that afflicts women that have just given birth and since it has been from one medication to another...now since after my diagnosis my husband has been a source of emotional, verbal and physical abuse... He blames my parents for everything as he feels "cheated " feeling that they knew all about my "sickness " before we got married and kept it from him..... He felt I was a liability and feels he is too young to shoulder such... There was nothing my husband didn't do to frustrate me... So around June this year I left my home to my father's house and have been there since, ...now since I have been there my husband hardly calls when he does he wants to speak with his children...he doesn't call my parents to ask about my well-being or that of his kids...sometimes I feel abandoned...now the issue is that the love I have for him is beginning to reduce sometimes I feel like letting him go and starting all over...other times I want to stay cos I think of my children's future.
....as for the psychosis ALL the symptoms have gone as am typing this now I have a job with a small private school and planning to either proceed with my masters or start a nursing programme
so please I need your advice should I let him go

Mental health issues are really very sensitive as it tends to affect the dynamics of the family and since you said you have already been cleared and probably no longer on psychotropic medication, there is need to rebuild your life, work on your self-esteem. Focus on self actualization as you already thinking of postgraduate studies and nursing, time would influence the direction your relationship with your husband would go, don't force anything.

luluosas:
Don't leave your marriage. The devil is the one motivating him to maltreat you in order for you to sin against God by becoming a divorced woman.
Please, find your way to Jesus Christ Temple Ministry, Warri, second Wednesday of January, 2020, and be delivered. You will surely come and share your testimony.
Cheers.

Wilful ignorance is motivating him and stop bringing the devil into the situation. She does not need any deliverance, it is not spiritual. It is no sin in leaving a marriage that is toxic and nurtures loss of human dignity.

DaniellaDokubo:
Leaving him is stage 2 of the plan. Don't allow stage 3, 4 and 5 happen which are;

3. Make her to abandon him,

4. "Orange seller" moves in next and then

5. Finally make her and her kids to suffer and probably end his life and inherit all you both worked to build.

Look ahead of you in this battle and fight with wisdom!

What is there to inherit? Why should the woman love the life of the husband more than the man love his own life when he should be leading his family in the path of safety as the Chief Priest of his home? The thought of a wife not going to leave the marriage despite the promiscuity of her husband is an enabler to many men as our women are being socialized to direct their anger towards the women their husbands get tangled with but not the husband because if they do, the woman outside would "move in"! What crap!

Infidelity creates cracks for "reptiles" to crawl into families.

OP, the bitter truth is that you are just running helter-skelter while your husband is very comfortable with his promiscuity which you confirmed he was into way back into your first pregnancy and now you have three kids. There is nothing spiritual about his failing finances but a clear consequence of mismanagement of funds which he has used to finance his promiscuity.

"My Husband Slept With The Wrong Girl" is an indication that you have unconsciously normalized his infidelity but your concern is just that he slept with one that is "destroying" your home. No lady out there is destroying your home but your husband who is the one who is self-sabotaging his family. Your husband is a full blown adult who is fully aware of his choices and the nightmares you are having, is the mind trying to rationalize why your husband is finding it difficult to be intimate with you and now you are blaming an "evil side chick", you see the deflection?

Until your husband comes to the point of mea culpa (through my fault, taking responsibility for the mess), your running to your pastor is just like running a marathon without a finishing line.

Nice one, just feeling for those in there with them.

Dem no well at all!

A commendable effort by the man.

See mockery at its peak!

"Poverty in the South West is 20%, in the North, it is 80%, Lagos is 8 per cent and Zamfara, it is 91%".....Scary!

sunnymighty:
a million dollar question sir lol!

Get the electricity distribution company in charge of your area involved, get an official from the company involved in recovering your wires and reconnection.

Disconnected and went away with the wire, are they "NEPA" officials?

Pregnancy is not a guarantee that it will be carried to term.

This guy has become a fixture in our national consciousness.

selemempe:
Nsukka village

Nsukka is not a village!

Why bring in the Yorubas into the conversation? If the thread is about posting your village pictures then let it be and stop dragging another tribe into it!

Painful.

Another tales by moonlight.

Sad.

As if both infrastructural and human capital development of the North is tied to their females being married off before the age of 18!

Sad and not just only Nigeria as it is also an issue in some other African countries where some use it to hasten the cooking of beans and maize.

It is disheartening that your mum passed on when you weren't even up to the age of 7 and your father never bothered to check up on you nor make provisions through your grandma as a continuation of denial of your paternity (unless it was lies fed to you)

Do you want to get his "own side" of the story, how he made efforts to be there for you but was rebuffed by your late mum and later your grandmother who took over your care when your mum died?

Expectedly your father has his other family, will he be comfortable acknowledging you and integrating you to the family?


If you feel the need to confront that repressed part of your life for you to achieve healing and closure, I will encourage you to seek him out and look him in the eye and ask those hard questions.

Fear catch dem!

Merry Christmas to us all.

Freedom is precious.

Imagining the chaos!

Nothing.