₦airaland Forum

Na so our minister go carry rocket fuel go sell, replace am with kerosene.

Governors go dey fight for who go collect nomination enter space from their geo-political zone.

The "ASTRONAUTS" go reach space, dem go dey protest say dem no wan come back until they pay their salaries.

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

#falls on the floor#

These clowns should focus on improving the state of Physics and Engineering programs in the universities we have before thinking of killing whoever the volunteer would be for that space junk they plan to build in conjunction with Innosson.

People fail to realize that the "Office of the President's Mother" gets constituency allowances that no one knows about. It's in the constitution.Besides, given all the investments she made during her years in the corporate world, she has the ability to donate acres of land to any cause even if her son were not President. I even hear she plans to donate a lot more once her son secures the seat in 2015. #tongue in cheek# Nairalanders, please don't be jealous......If I be president, my mama go donate one street plus all the property wey dey there.


WE ALL KNOW WHO IS REALLY DONATING IT. DON'T BE DECEIVED!!!!!!!!!!!!

Forgive his inability to spell "wrapping".The educational system caused all this.


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Aizebioje: RAPING YOUR WEED? How exactly does 1 do that

I am just trying to imagine GEJ pulling that off in a Lagos Taxi. His ADC would wear fake beards and sit in the front seat. About 100 SSS Agents dressed as tomato sellers,agbero etc filling up about 20 vehicles both in front and at the back of the 'Presidential Taxi'.The conversation goes thus in the taxi:

GEJ: Oga, where?

PASSENGER: Allen Avenue

GEJ: #whispers into ADC's ear to ask how much the fare could be# #ADC looks puzzled#

PASSENGER: How much na?

GEJ: I have set up a committee to look into it

PASSENGER:

Esosaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa............................

EsosaDiva: Do u work for kpmg?

Thank you for the clarification.

joboy834: @phonon and all, congrats. In kpmg, u will start as an SA(staff assistant). After a year you get promoted to ESA(experienced staff assistant), then another year or 2 u get promoted to an Associate, then a semi-snr(SS) then to a snr associate which has 3 levels(S1,S2,S3). At S3, u are an asst mgr. After S3 is Manager.

Mind you, it is almost the same with PwC. It is just the title that is different.


Years. KPMG. PwC
entry. SA. A3
level

One. ESA. A1

Two. Associate. Snr Associate 1

Three. S1. S2/S3(depending)

You fit call the baby,'Holy Bible' sef.Mtscheww...,

Is it right to name your child Lucifer McDevil?There are questions that you don't just ask.You know the right thing,DO IT.

One would think that given the number of eminent Nigerians Anambra has produced,one credible person would emerge to turn the fortunes of that state around.

Nnamdi Azikiwe
Chinua Achebe
Emeka Anyaoku
Alexander Animalu
Chike Obi etc

Every one that has turned up has just further wrecked that state.

Do you think if all these 'pastors' sought to know the source of each offering that they would be able to buy airplanes?They know that mega-thieves are in their churches but they don't care.Their sins would be forgiven once they give their 'HOLY LOOT'.SEE NO EVIL,HEAR NO EVIL.

Are there not enough threads on KPMG already where all the information you need is more than abundant?

In a little while,you will be there.Best of luck.;-)

sleekch1c: Wow guys...been following this thread and I thank God for all of u who got offers. I wrote the exam in june and was successful. I was sent a mail and asked to submit my documents which I did. After waiting for abt 2 months to hear from them, I had to call them and they they said dat the reason why I'm yet to be called for the interview is my nysc status. Would finish my service by February next yr and was asked to call them 2-3 months b4 end of service so they cld schedule my interview. My good people, never lose hope and always put your trust in God, he never disappoints. Cheers!

When one listens to the individual who is supposed to be our Minister of Education speak,does that sound like one whose mind will bring forth productive policies?I write this with all due respect.

Not hard to fathom that those dogs would transform into meat inside a pot of pepper soup.

To be honest,I would say I don't know.When I wrote my test in November 2012 and did two interviews within two weeks,I actually thought I would be called at most by January 2013.Here we are in August after all the wait.There is a possibility that you might finish everything before training starts in September but I would advice you just keep your mind off and explore other options while you wait for their response.It could go anyway but just keep your fingers crossed.Thanks for the congratulatory message.ALL THE BEST.

eliz003: * congrates Phonon, u finally made it. thanks for ur comments/contributions have been realy helpful*thanks a lot* for someone that just wrote the test ,last month,how long will the wait be? Jux wondering ohh

I actually don't care;just wondering.What we do is more important than the title.#whistling and frying his chicken# Hee!

EsosaDiva: I also saw d staff assistant stuff on mine too. Im still cool joor . For me, its a gud start

Number 8 made me laugh.
SUMMARY:If you shock them,dem go shock you.

Just Staff Assistant.6 months probation.....

Wonderful news EsosaDiva. I thought you were going to receive the letter yesterday. By the way, is the job title on your letter "Staff Assistant"? I always thought the entry-level position was Associate.

EsosaDiva: @armani, yea beta. Congratz Bro happy for ya. Aw far wif Pwc? @phonon,yes ooooooo. 9th-27th. Went today and coincidentaly boarded same bus wif one of our own sanity27

September 9 - September 27........

Letter received. Here we go................

Well, just hang in there. They would eventually get back to everyone,

jaymedd: Aii, thanks... They said I was endin service too late, oct 17th nd dat my recruitment processs wud b slower, its why they aint invited me yet 4 d assessment centre....

I was standing in between a mob inside the bus. Not a single breathing space. The man beside me was selling some kind of soap and any time he opened his mouth, some kind of thick cloud of staleness pervaded the air. I couldn't get off because we were in traffic on one bridge in Apapa and I didn't know my way from there. When I finally 'escaped', I could feel the 'cloud' following me.

In one case I vividly remember at Iponri in the late 90s, a market woman was about to get off the bus after her tomato basket was dropped off. The molue was still moving but slowly and the woman jumped out the bus with both legs.She rolled over and injured herself. I laughed(I was young and naive) because I just did not understand why the woman did not put one foot down before the other to give herself balance

What was the first question again? I don't have the letter so that question would have to wait

jaymedd: I've got one more question.. Nd please I need an answer... Hw much?

I found this excerpt and many others like it very interesting and made me think deeply about marriage. Need to find this book.


"One of the consequences of basing marriage on the considerations stated with cold abhorrence by Saint Paul in the seventh chapter of his epistle to the Corinthians, as being made necessary by the unlikeness of most men to himself, is that the sex slavery involved has become complicated by economic slavery; so that whilst the man defends marriage because he is really defending his pleasures, the woman is even more vehement on the same side because she is defending her only means of livelihood. To a woman without property or marketable talent a husband is more necessary than a master to a dog. There is nothing more wounding to our sense of human dignity than the husband hunting that begins in every family when the daughters become marriageable; but it is inevitable under existing circumstances; and the parents who refuse to engage in it are bad parents, though they may be superior individuals. The cubs of a humane tigress would starve; and the daughters of women who cannot bring themselves to devote several years of their lives to the pursuit of sons-in-law often have to expatiate their mother’s squeamishness by life-long celibacy and indigence. To ask a young man his intentions when you know he has no intentions, but is unable to deny that he has paid attentions; to threaten an action for breach of promise of marriage; to pretend that your daughter is a musician when she has with the greatest difficulty been coached into playing three piano-forte pieces which she loathes; to use your own mature charms to attract men to the house when your daughters have no aptitude for that department of sport; to coach them, when they have, in the arts by which men can be led to compromise themselves; and to keep all the skeletons carefully locked up in the family cupboard until the prey is duly hunted down and bagged: all this is a mother’s duty today; and a very revolting duty it is: one that disposes of the conventional assumption that it is in the faithful discharge of her home duties that a woman finds her self-respect. The truth is that family life will never be decent, much less ennobling, until this central horror of the dependence of women on men is done away with. At present it reduces the difference between marriage and prostitution to the difference between Trade Unionism and unorganized casual labor: a huge difference, no doubt, as to order and comfort, but not a difference in kind."

Find more at http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2013/07/26/george-bernard-shaw-on-marriage/?utm_medium=referral&utm_source=pulsenews

It's not his fault.If say na dem Moses time,lightning for don eliminate am for where im dey.These days any clown that can buy a Bible suddenly thinks he is a "PASTOR".Nonsense.

Even our intelligence agencies are selling out?NO NIGERIAN WAS PRESENT DURING THE INTERROGATION?Are they trying to get a huge discount on Israeli military gear by doing this?Trying to imagine the Israelis returning the favour if they had a BH operative in their custody.

Moderators, do something about this.

kennygee: If you chek well, she wasn't brot up in this corrupt and perversive country of ours. Kudos to her parents,they brought up a fine woman.

Congratulations lady. Everyone on this thread has done a great job of providing information critical to the journey. NO LET BREEZE CARRY YOUR LETTER AFTER YOU COLLECT AM O.


[quote author=Mona_Mildred]And the journey of KPMG experience begins for me tommorrow. Was told to come and pick my letter. My happiness knows no bounds. I'm very grateful to all who has contributed to this thread. The help I got here is immeasurable. Tensions heightened, doubts settled, etc. I'm especially thankful that mc_stan started this thread. Thx y'all- phonon, maximus, et al. We'll all meet there in training school. Pls let's all continue to contribute and help those coming after us. Cos we know first hand what its like to go through KPMG test and interview stages and what the wait is like. One luv!! [/quote]