₦airaland Forum

[quote author=nna_bu_ike]Which arguments were you referring to? All those that I wrote are facts, not arguments. Why not do a little research for once, it pays.[/quote]Making unscientific statements like men are more intelligent than women is not fact dude

welcome bellong.. some time

yellowpawpaw: Mr Bellong, may u live long!
I am almost going insane here!
And even if u never liked their father, u hv no right whatesoever to change their name. U won't even win. Not in my culture.
I'm just hearing this for the first time here.
U ve been scarce? Hope all is well?

Mr BB, stop pulling my legs abegi.
NL argument dey wear me out honestly.

Interestingly I am not pulling your legs at all.. I am saying lets look at all possible angles
Its not an argument thing but really looking at the facts of the case

Lets consider your culture... if a man dies with a young widow and children.. what happens to the kids...
please tell...

did you read the links i posted on legal adoption

ok

yellowpawpaw: A guardian does that and more. A good husband don't hv to rob those kids of the most important thing that brings them close to their dad cos he want to take care of them. And how can they inherit what is rightfully theirs if they change their names? And u think the children will ever forgive u if they later learnt d truth? If he can't fit in role of a daddy without altering who they really r, he is not fit to be their daddy. Simple.

Jehova!
What has sentiment and culture gat to do with this?

Good points... you assume there is an inheritance to go to.. hahaha

The choice is ultimately the man's but only few people will take a woman with her child(ren) especially young ones
Moreso he may want them as his

Sentiment.. because a spade is a spade by any other name...
The children still need to grow up... will name feed them

If the man wants to make them his, it should be total and legal.. nothing like compound name sef

bellong: Your late husband has family and I believe that children do not only belong to the couple but also to the two families. That being said, I think you need not change the surname to preserve their father's heritage and also give the children their own parental identity. It doesn't mean that the new husband wouldn't act right towards them.

Except you never liked their father and looking for a way to erase his memory, you can change the name.

There, sir, you nailed it
Some families are wicked

yellowpawpaw: Wait a minute, so cos my mummy remarried when my dad died, I now hv to erase every single memory of my late dad abi u think that children don't remember? When they grow up r u ready for the xplanation?
If the marriage didn't work, what then happens to the children?
I wish those that practice this luck cos they might need it.

it depends also on the age of the kids... if the kids are old enough, it does not matter really
Adoption may not even be necessary

Most likely the kids here are toddlers or pre-sef

Per your requeste see the folowing inks

http://nigeriavillagesquare.com/articles/guest-articles/adoption-laws-of-lagos-state-practice-and-procedure.html

http://www.lagosstate.gov.ng/pagemenus.php?p=124&k=41

Ultimately we dont pray for untimely death but the truth is that we dont know what happens after we are gone - Ecclesiastes

Tgirl4real: Awww...dat movie? I knew it was gonna end in disaster from d beginning. I saw it at d cinemas and couldn't stay till the end. The guy was just too smooth, certainly too good to be true. She wanted some fun and she got it.

I have the much older version that was acted on stage.

I have that too and i enjoyed it more especially because of the old couple who acted as counsellors - comedy galore!!

Listen t others viewpoints once in a while

All you people are talking about is sentiments - husband's family et al and name etc

Will name provide the diapers for the babies
Will name provide the education for the babies
Will name provide the medcal care for the babies

Are we not here with our phoolish culture where a widowed woman with a biological child was abandoned by her fiance family because her marriage rites were not fully complete

This man wants to take responsibility for another man's child and he wants to change their names

whats the big deal about the name

This is my stance if the husband's family is not a responsible one
If they are, they will be involvd anyhow during the adoption process

yellowpawpaw: Mr BB, what r u saying?
So u mean the woman can't take her biological children along with her if she wanna cross over?
I'm yet to hear that from the main sources anyway cos for all I know, birth certificate is what is needed for her to take her children along with her to wherever. Her hubby is only but their guardian. They can only be adopted and depending on d culture if she had them out of wedlock and she want them to fit in. The only thing that remains of the dead man is d children and we wanna rob them of their rightful identity and inheritance bc of what?
Na waa for some reasoning.

And who said something about leaving the woman alone to cater for the kids?

Something I got online on Legal Adoption in Nigeria for those who want to file for US Visa

http://adopt.com/nigeria/index.html

4. Adopt the Child (or Gain Legal Custody) in Nigeria

The process for finalizing the adoption (or gaining legal custody) in Nigeria generally includes the following:
Role of The Adoption Authority: The social welfare office of the state where the child is located is considered the adoption authority. The application for adoption originates from the social welfare office of the state where the child is located. The Government office responsible for adoptions in Nigeria is the magistrate court of the state where the child is located.

Role of The Court: In most Nigerian states, the adoption process begins when an application for an adoption order is made in accordance with local requirements and submitted to the registrar of the competent court. The court then assigns a guardian ad litem for the child to represent him/her in the adoption proceedings. The guardian ad litem is the social welfare officer in charge of the area where the juvenile resides, or a probation officer or some other person suitably qualified in the opinion of the court of assignment. The guardian ad litem investigates the circumstances related to the proposed adoption and files a report to the court. The guardian ad litem represents the child’s interests until the magistrate questions the prospective adoptive parents and grants the adoption order giving legal custody to the adoptive parents.


The guardian ad litem investigates the circumstances relevant to the proposed adoption and reports in writing to the court. Prospective adoptive parents must inform the social welfare officer of their intention to adopt at least three months before the court order is made. For at least three consecutive months immediately preceding an adoption order, the child must have been in the physical care and legal custody of the applicant parents in Nigeria. An applicant cannot have the child reside with another family member in lieu of living with the applicant, even if a Power of Attorney is in effect.

The social welfare officer visits the home of the adoptive parents until the officer is satisfied that the juvenile is settled and the prospective adoptive parents are capable of looking after him or her. In such a case, the social welfare officer reports in writing a positive recommendation to the court. The magistrate will meet the adoptive parents in court to confirm their suitability and will issue or deny the adoption order.

After the adoption order has been issued, adoptive parents should obtain a new birth certificate for the child listing them as the child’s parents. In some states, after the adoption has been granted, the adoptive parents must obtain the court’s permission to remove the child from Nigerian jurisdiction, either temporarily or permanently. In addition, the social welfare officer might be required to submit a letter to the Nigerian immigration office, stating that the adoptive parents are now the legal parents of the child. This letter then permits the adopting parents to apply for a passport to take the child out of Nigeria.

vanitty: Nawa o. Why would you want to change their names? At least, if not for anything but as a sign of respect to the late husband. Thank heavens at least the husband knows that a compound name is better than wiping the poor late man's name entirely.

Let me clear this misconception - adoption does not mean they change their last name please. They can retain their last name and still be "full and legal"

Nice point but "in naija here" having same names clear so many issues.
There are incidents of people having issues at embassies due to different name.. remember mario "balotelli"...

Me i dont see anything wrong with the move except the husband's family are a honourable one

The elders you speak of - not all of them are honourable

nu sungo - spyrogyra

CFCfan: Oops. thank you

Up Ibra!!!

lertee: .....and I just saw the movie "temptation:confession of a marriage counselor"
I was feeling so cool about the movie initially until I got to the end and discovered the guy was a total beast. He ruined Juliet forever thanks to her that fell for his charm,thanks to her husband too who was non-challant..

sad film... but i blame juliet too
she got herself too exposed too fast
the husband was just trying to make a living for them but good girls like bad boys

Lightening: You keep echoing my mother, my mother. Do you have a father? The signs of a little girl raised by a single mother or a divorcee is apparent. Pls go and ask her questions about life and stop contributing to issues you know nothing about.

dont worry kanwulia will soon come and say naija fadas are pedos...
Our NL ladies respect their fathers but hate other men ...

CFCfan: Just heard that strippers in the US, on average, make around $74,000 a year.

-Strip clubs world wide rake in $75 billion in annual revenue; with the clubs in the US accounting for $3bn.
-The Gentlemens clubs in California rake in $1bn in revenue

Sex Sells...

CFCfan: So today's two intercontinental playoffs were virtually decided in the 1st leg: Uruguay thumping Jordan 5-0 in Amman, and Mexico's 5-1 demolition of New Zealand.

I guess it's safe to say the world is waiting for the remaining 5 qualifiers from Africa. The 2nd leg African playoffs will be concluded this weekend.

Youve forgotten the 4 guys from yuropa

yellowpawpaw: I don't know about others but from where I came from, its an off topic. Pray, why will she change their names? Is she the one getting married or her children?
And for travel purpose, she don't hv to change names to obtain their documents.
A marriage certificate to d deceased and birth certificate will do. The new hubby can be their guardian.
Why will he adopt them? Don't they hv lineage to continue? So d dead man's name has to be wiped out bc mummy is now married?
Is there no elder in that family?
Infact, which kain kweshion be this?

If you decide to migrate, they need adoption to be full n legal
If he wants to adopt them they r protected under the law rather than some whim...he cannot chase them away again

Elder?...please...

Where are the elders when the woman is left alone with twins to cater for

Pssst

[quote author=nna_bu_ike]That Men have higher IQ's than women has been known for a very long time. What is in dispute is what the IQ tests are measuring in general. In general differences are around 0.2-0.5 standard deviations in favor of Men. Also very large differences are found in favor of Men on tests that guage mathematical and abstract reasoning abilities.



First, Mens brains are larger than womens brains, even after accounting for the difference in body size. Then, as for your claims of women's brains being "more compact and complicated in setup", here is another interesting fact for you: Male brains contain on average 34% more synapses per cubic millimeter when compared to female brains. So much for your "more compact and complicated" claim.




Aggression is not equivalent to violence!!




Thus you agree that Men are physically stronger?[/quote]Dude your arguments are crappy...lets not be sexist here
Use sound logic

jumzzy448: Lolllllll......i'm sure most of the people advising the op to report her to her parents will never take that shit from their wives. it's so amazing how everyone comes to nairaland to either claim saint or iron lady or mr no nonsense. I just dey watch.

nice one.. everyone is a lion or a lamb here....no inbetween

Get a court certificate to mark the wedding

The newspaper will ask for it; even you will need certificate to get new intl passport

You can also try punch

[quote author=-Mr Cork-]..,only light skin women r beautiful...periood! [/quote]skincist

Donxavier: As far as i'm concerned,the dude isn't a man. there is some kind of aura that you exude nobody can dare contemplate to do that to you...talkless of your wife. He's probably skinny and frail looking

hahaha.. i think shes the big kahuna financially....

Teespice: Me

anoda ebony beauty

this jumzy keeps it real... i like her style....she says it as it is

YEP... no need for jordan to bother

congrats and happy married life,,...

It is but im not really a ronnie fan

He has no flair.. at least ibra does

CFCfan: Lol.. After next Tuesday, he may 'rest at home'.
But it's a shame that one of Ronaldo or Ibra, despite having great seasons, would miss out on the world cup.

No wahala.. ebony princess..

Nwanneamakah: Oh, my bad!!!
No vex abeg..na bush grl I be.
Thanks

Nwanneamakah:

I dont get you.. you have lovely dentition..

sorry if u dont like it

hahaha...interesting dynamic here..


Over to the ladies to get themselves of this conumdrum

Man slaps Woman once - Abuser, call the cops

Woman slaps man once - Why did you provoke her, put more lovin'

women.....

CFCfan: Up Ronaldo

naaaa/.... let him rest at home...