₦airaland Forum

^ chilli

i respect you for standing by your principles

Unfortunately we will never know since you are already settled.. you are not in the shoes of the parties involved

Some have died waiting for Mr PERFECT

[quote author=Night$hift]That's exactly my question to her and I still didn't get any response. The greatest mistake she has made in all of this now is to have called some elders in my family and some of my uncles saying she wanted a divorce. Even though she has retraced her steps saying she no longer wants the divorce less than 24hrs after calling them, those elders have now taken it upon themselves to ensure her request is granted unless "they are convinced beyond all resonable doubts that it was an empty threat". That is the dilemma I am in now.[/quote]oh oh... she is really being pushed...calling your own family was a big mistake
is there any counsellor you guys can involve

[quote author=fresh_dude]Only yesterday, Titi was stabbed to death. Divorce was no option for her before or after then. Given the options of divorce and death which would you choose? And then, what's the appropriate time to begin divorce proceedings?
At any rate, what makes you think Night$hift wouldn't snap one day and strangle his lovely wife to death in response to years of accumulated frustration?[/quote]Titi's case was unfortunate I agree though the abuse has become physical
Once abuse is physical. i do not hesitate in advocating seperation for a period to preserve life

For me divorce will be appropriate after 1. counselling and then 2. Seperation

I agree with you that the guy can snap hence the exhortation for him to be calm...

Chillisauce: It very possible, when the quality of s perm becomes watery due to frequent expulsion.


Don't ask me how I know this.

interesting .... so the more partners one has, one runs the risk of fertility challenges.... strange

Not sure it has the same potential impact as multiple abortions though

Chillisauce: So what about the men wey dey blow blank ...is it not same as TTC.
Some ladies abort 20 and still bear kids, while some...virgin till marriage and still TTC.
The ones blowing blank, would you say they were "runs" men?

hahaja... that is congenital... nothing wey u fit do

A woman who has congenital issues having babies is different from one whose womb is mutilated from multiple abortions

I have not yet heard of men having blanks due to too many shots fired

jumzzy448: Wow......I think you both should separate for a while. I feel you are giving in your best to see this marriage working out while your wife isn't. If she feels she's tired, let just say it instead of all these headaches and troubles she's making you go through.
Na wa oo.

I also feel seperation is a bit too hasty... these things assume a life of their own becoming monsters...counselling is a start

The woman is now a big earner and that status change has not been manaaged well within the family hence the issue.....

@chilli

I dont see any need to lie..

na wa ...trouble finder

fresh dude,, divorce should always be the last option

bukatyne: Anyhow, as you like it

Everyone makes their choices and live with it

It is well

Thanks.. phew...

[quote author=Night$hift]She apologized initially, became agressive and apologized again. We agreed on the steps to rebuild the broken trust in the marriage and she agreed but half-way along the line, she backed out opting to divorce instead. Now she's begging again that she doesn't want divorce. So, I really know what her plans are.[/quote]hmm.. i think she is being manipulated... you say u care a lot about her
So be patient and pray
Dont get involved in abuse of any sort

Seek some form of counselling... it helps (a neutral party to help with the issues)

..

Chillisauce: At the end all, it's a cycle..the experience the guys get are all gotten by doing it with the girls.

The only difference is that the guys hail themselves while the ladies just keep mute.

Not sure i get you... the guy moves on and starts his family with a 'good ground' but the damaged girl is TTC or left alone like the guy who went to canada leaving her in the lurch,,,

Some will have a second family if they dont want to divorce

Lol.. robbing at bible point

hmmm... ok..


You dont know its not a joint decision neither will we know if it was joint

I can only speak for myself

Every man or woman for hisself

[quote author=fresh_dude]If he had been the abusive partner, headbutting wifey during every disagreement would you still say I was hasty?
Maybe you've never been emotionally, verbally, mentally, psychologically abused before. It is no joke mahn.
Me, I wonder how he even walks around in his neighbourhood or if he even still does.[/quote]Divorce is always the last option as there will be a lot of bad blood spilled

I will advocate a period of seperation prior to irrevocability.. this is the mother of your kids

Single parenting is no breeze

[quote author=Night$hift]Sounds ridiculous really but it is the plain truth. I actually decided to open this thread with a different moniker so as to get unbiased advices. Now that I have gotten what you guys really feel about her actions so far, I think it will be okay to let you know that this is the same woman that was aided by a Priest to build without her husband's knowledge.
https://www.nairaland.com/1496529/priest-aids-wife-build-without/20[/quote]I know that thread and i assumed you mentioned she had apologised that she was misled by her friends and that the MIL is possibly involved with the priest
Is there any new development since then

Happy Birthday firestar-chan

Nice one..

Gomenasa i missed it yesterday

panaroma: Recent chapters haven't been exciting

more like drab and droll

[quote author=fresh_dude]My brother, I would advise you get a divorce. This is house HBP starts, that's if you don't already have it. If you die prematurely this woman will live her own life. A word should be enough.[/quote]Dont be too hasty to be calling divorce

haba....

@OP calling a strange person to your house at night..!
You guys may need to go to counselling
Ur wife may have anger issues and spontaneous..

Is she a housewife or working class woman

I feel you and where you have always missed it is where you assume this choice is foisted on the woman with no input from her

I have friends whose wives left their career to focus on the family and it is a joint decision

In the case here, even the daughter is not privy to all the discussions between her parents
Her intent was to appreciate her mum's sacrifice.. dazall

Making fun of her going abroad imo is over the top..

You wey dey talk sef ... by the time pikin come, you may decide to leave work for a while
Dioes it make u a failure

Na wa

bukatyne: Pickabeau1,

The truth is that most of us do not treat others how we want to be treated.

The lady said 'her father did not allow her mother celebrate birthdays'

This is different from 'we do not celebrate birthdays' or whatever

So I dreamt of being a banker and it was thwarted, going abroad twice and a big 50th birthday is enough to make up for it?

For once, put yourself in the shoes of these women.

Men and women have the same mind, what hurts you men hurts women too

nice story ify but the reality is that the damage is mostly always more on the woman

a man with 12 ex-babes is not as damaged as a babe with 12 ex-boy friends

You may call it hypocrisy or whatever but Thats life...

Stil your inference.. a man is saved by his belief in the blood and confession that Jesus is Lord and died for his or her sins

All inferences

highyo: i dont know why you people are just reading the word of God like a book written by wole soyinka? Do you even understand what the book of timothy is saying at all?
If you are not fit to be an elder, deacon or overseer, you are not fit to enter the kingdom of God, because we all are ambassador of Christ, and whosoever can not be a deacon,elder etc then can not also preach. Because what will he/she preach, and whosoever fail to preach is not fit for the kingdom of God (Mrk 16:15) because if you fail to be productive, the lord will cut you away and cast you into fire. Faith without work is dead, and you are not faithful if you fail to meet up the standard of a elder, deacon etc
Jesus said except your holiness superseed that of the pharisee and scribe, you cannot enter the kingdom of God. A man with two wife, what will he teach? Of course he will tell you there is nothing wrong to divorce and marry a new wife, you can sleep around with little children, put on trouser and do jerry coil as a man, drink beer and even bring it to church, of course that is what he will teach
tell me, can bad tree produce good fruit?

henrimoto: Olodo bantu! 'screen writer' ko 'television writer' ni ....hohohohohoho. it's called Script writer!

ehya,,, see product of our educational system... hasty to jump and quick to embarass hisself

No worry even TOEFL don ban naija people....

A screenwriter or scriptwriter or scenarist is a writer who practices the craft of screenwriting, writing screenplays on which mass media such as films, television programs, comics or video games are based.

[quote author=fresh_dude]u sabi wetin be kickback so?[/quote]im not sure you do...
So you support the bribe...

..

[quote author=Night$hift]Now, I have stopped most people from coming to interfere in our discussions by refusing to open the door whenever they come, but my mother-in-law is still a pain in the neck as she still keeps calling. The last time this happened, I refused to take her calls and hell was let loose in my home as I was accused by my wife and in-laws of disrespcting their mother by not taking her calls.[/quote]More of this and stand your ground...
Just practice calmness in your spirit

She will grow up with time

[quote author=Night$hift]God bless you my brother. I just issued those threats a few days ago out of frustration and I pray she doesn't give me room to carry them out.[/quote]As they have said, no threats of bodily harm or damage as the issue could escalate
I will have said talk but seems the woman is not mature enough,,

i dont understand the focus on the birthdays part but some people dont believe in celebrating it..

The woman may have made a sacrifice for her family as many did..

Now to show his appreciation to his wife, he is making it up..

I dont see why you have to snicker at the gesture from the man

na wa

rathe than using accusations to intimidate, can you use scripture to exhort

careytommy: such brilliance!

The guy na screen writer i swearr

@Ukuts gp

Ok...

He is the best,, but the stress of the last few years is telling on EL Pulga The Lion King...

He will still get more ballons...

Ukuts gp: d divorce issue came on board because of the hardness their heart, it wasn't so from the beginning. D timothy verse is applicable not only for leaders but for all christians as well.

good you agree it was divorce Jesus spoke explicitly about

Well 1 Timothy is explicit on bishops and lays good practices for christians granted but did not equate it to sin

Ukuts using accusatory words will not pass your point across ....

Humbled is making some points

The scripture you guys are quoting refer to divorce n Moses allowing divorce,,, I see inferences n mathematical postulations wth the monogamy argument

The timothy verse refers to those who wanted to be leaders in the church...correct me if im wrong