₦airaland Forum

Please help I had to create a new account for this.

When I was 15, a man in our neighbourhood had sex with me. I was too confused and embarrassed to tell anyone about it. I didn't get pregnant. While growing up, I still remembered the incident and kept away from dating through out my university days.

I met my fiancé in 2014. Somehow I told him I was still a virgin when we were still getting to know ourselves. He asked me to marry him soon after. It seemed as if the main reason he wanted marriage was because he felt I was a decent girl and I didn't want him to find out after our wedding. I did some stuffs to my vagina and we had sex. It was like the whole process of deflowering again. He seemed satisfied.

The issue is that I feel scared starting my marriage on a lie. Standing before the priest when there's a secret between us. We've done the necessary intro. I don't know what to think anymore. Should I let him continue believing he's the only man I've been with?

Tell him if it will gives u peace. If you think you might loose him if u do, then keep shut and live happily ever after. Afterall its not the type of lie that will damage anything.
90% of couples today marry as non virgins and countless lie before, during and after wedding oat.

To me its no biggie

You better look for a way to tell him yourself even if it will cost you the wedding.
If he should find out himself he might feel betrayed nd hate u.

If he really loves you, the truth wnt stop him from getting married to you and if tries to stp the wedding just know he doesnt worth it.

I wonder why people lie to their loved ones

Telling lies is like putting yourself in bondage and you need another lie to cover another lie, so the cycle continues and you remain in bondage perpetually. Lies deny you freedom.

Truth, on the other hand, gives peace, freedom and build relationship. In this case, for you to be free from your bondage, you need the truth so as to break free.

Goodluck.

brb

modified.

1st of all being a virgin is no big deal so I don't know why you lied but since you've Lied already just live with that lie


If you tell him you lied dude might never trust u again or might even leave u

Cedarseeds:
Please help I had to create a new account for this.
When I was 15, a man in our neighbourhood had sex with me. I was too confused and embarrassed to tell anyone about it. I didn't get pregnant. While growing up, I still remembered the incident and kept away from dating through out my university days. I met my fiancé in 2014. Somehow I told him I was still a virgin when we were still getting to know ourselves. He asked me to marry him soon after. It seemed as if the main reason he wanted marriage was because he felt I was a decent girl and I didn't want him to find out after our wedding. I did some stuffs to my vagina and we had sex. It was like the whole process of deflowering again. He seemed satisfied. The issue is that I feel scared starting my marriage on a lie. Standing before the priest when there's a secret between us. I don't know what to think anymore. Should I let him continue believing he's the only man I've been with?

Babe... When you say a man had sex with you... Are u trying to tell us u were raped, or because u were young u feel it doesn't qualify as sex
You've eaten ur cake or should I say ur cake has been eaten.. which ever way you want to still have the cake.
Uve made mistake by lieing, u now went further to cover up the lie by making ur inexperienced to husband to feel he got a tear rubber..... If the guilty conscience is too much for you.. Tell him.. But brace ur self... The storm that will follow will come in Serious batches...
But this is my advice... Bone the parole... There is a saying :let sleeping dogs lie..... Ur case is a perfect example of such a saying...

No use ur hand pour sand for ur garri ooo

sinaj:
You better look for a way to tell him yourself even if it will cost you the wedding.

If he should find out himself he might feel betrayed nd hate u.

I wonder why people lie to their loved ones

Her husband finding out is not one of the reasons to tell him because in this case.. He can never find out.... Some body they gave Nigerian used and he fell for it thinking it's tear rubber
.. Leave that thing, the Maga cannot find out anything.... He don enter one chance.. Let him enjoy the ride.... The way his mind has started it

Women and lies, must you be a virgin, what is the biggie making noise with it.

Is your husband to be a virgin too. Women are always the cause of there problem.

Your mouth.

He has tested it before marriage and he wishes to continue so why are you still blabbing.

Let sleeping dogs lie and allow water to keep flowing under the bridge... Enjoy your marriage.

You better keep shut and enjoy your husband.

Tell him. If he truly loves u, it shouldn't b a problem.

Why did you lie about your virginity? Did he ask you the question on gun point? Lets learn to be truthful in issues like this.

Most babes will want to know the stuffs you packaged that made the process looks like it's a real deflowering. Trust me .

Jokes apart.

Be a woman, be bold tell him the truth. But the man will be very disappointed. I hope the level of trust he had built in you will not be brought down

Your wedding is in Dec, and u r using a fake account, u think your fiance will not find out?


Well u made ur decision by telling him u were a virgin. Live with it

Keep quiet...leave past in the past.

sinaj:
You better look for a way to tell him yourself even if it will cost you the wedding.

If he should find out himself he might feel betrayed nd hate u.

I wonder why people lie to their loved ones

How can he possibly find out. She should not scatter her marriage before it starts. She needs to take this secret to her grave. #MyOpinion

PhilipGallagher:
How can he possibly find out. She should not scatter her marriage before it starts. She needs to take this secret to her grave. #MyOpinion

This is not even a secret to start with, had it been someone else wasnt involved I would just said let the sleeping dog lie.
But in her case someone out there knows the truth nd might have told another person so its not a secret and you know how small the world is huh?

Cedarseeds:
Please help I had to create a new account for this.
When I was 15, a man in our neighbourhood had sex with me. I was too confused and embarrassed to tell anyone about it. I didn't get pregnant. While growing up, I still remembered the incident and kept away from dating through out my university days. I met my fiancé in 2014. Somehow I told him I was still a virgin when we were still getting to know ourselves. He asked me to marry him soon after. It seemed as if the main reason he wanted marriage was because he felt I was a decent girl and I didn't want him to find out after our wedding. I did some stuffs to my vagina and we had sex. It was like the whole process of deflowering again. He seemed satisfied. The issue is that I feel scared starting my marriage on a lie. Standing before the priest when there's a secret between us. We've done the necessary intro. I don't know what to think anymore. Should I let him continue believing he's the only man I've been with?
cc. Lalasticlala

Oh pls!

What’s the big deal?? TELL HIM AND FREE YOUR SOUL. Put a stop to the needles lies before they get out of hand.

If he is worth his salt, he’ll stick with you, else good riddance.

You were 15 when it happened. A child. And it happened so many years ago. Is he (your fiancée) perfect??

At 15 a man had sex with you, or you had sex?
That's the tone of one who doesn't like to take responsibility for their actions. I understand that 15 is not legal, but that's just on paper. You knew what you were doing, no be this naija wey we dey so?

Please what did you do to your vagina?

sinaj:
This is not even a secret to start with, had it been someone else wasnt involved I would just said let the sleeping dog lie.
But in her case someone out there knows the truth nd might have told another person so its not a secret and you know how small the world is huh?

How will the person prove it. The husband would not believe sef, cause even him has confirmed that she was a V

PhilipGallagher:
How will the person prove it. The husband would not believe see, cause even him has confirmed that she was a V

True tho.

Oh sheet! Another wahala monger! Keep your dammmm mouth shot forever! Whew!

May God bless your marriage.

Smh. Just let the damn sleeping dogs lie. It's not as if you were the neighbourhood hoe, so what's the big deal?

Or were you the neighbourhood hoe??

You didn't have to lie about your virginity, but since you have made the mistake, just bury it and continue with your life.

You are bothered about taking vows before a priest with a secret hanging between you two, but aren't bothered that you have already fornicated with your fiance, and as such are not qualified to wear that white gown. White symbolises virginity, purity and chastity, and you are not any of the above. Most times we fool ourselves thinking we are fooling God and the world.

Don't create trouble for yourself, but If however you can't live with your conscience then confess and hope your husband-to-be forgives you and doesn't hold it against you in future.

PhilipGallagher:
How will the person prove it. The husband would not believe sef, cause even him has confirmed that she was a V

What if she’s got a birthmark at an intimate spot?

Say under her bòòbs or between her bùtt cheeks?

EfemenaXY:
What if she’s got a birthmark at an intimate spot?

Say under her bòòbs or between her bùtt cheeks?

what is this one saying..


must u talk.. smh

EfemenaXY:
What if she’s got a birthmark at an intimate spot?

Say under her bòòbs or between her bùtt cheeks?

what is this one saying..


must u talk.. smh

sister just keep quiet or anything u say now might be used against u in the court of law....
(Nigerian police)

your fiance might already go bragging to his friends or family that he married a V and bla bla bla

just imagine how he will feel hearing that it was all a script .

but if u ever do tell him worse he will do is cancel the wedding and u in turn will lose him but earn ur peace simple .


$100 dollars a piece ..u do the maths.. cla cla .... (first Sunday)

Tell him. Since your conscience is prompting you to, tell him and give yourself your much-needed peace of mind.

Gluhbirne:
Tell him. Since your conscience is prompting you to, him and give yourself your much-needed peace of mind.

Will peace of mind marry her after?

EfemenaXY:
What if she’s got a birthmark at an intimate spot?

Say under her bòòbs or between her bùtt cheeks?

Being a virgin doesn't mean nobody has seen me naked.

Don't be a slave to your conscience. Open up to him

The fear of him not marrying her shouldn't be a reason not to tell him her truth and walk in her peace. A man who's for her will forgive but if he leaves her over this then it means she dodged a bullet b/c he's definitely not for her. If she doesn't tell him now the guilt will continue into their marriage and if she ends up telling him then (one's truth always comes out one way or the other, especially where close-knit relationships are concerned) he will be more upset that she didn't tell him beforehand and there's no telling how that that will affect the dynamics of their marriage.

Vivly:
Lol. Will peace of mind marry her after?

Why o why do ladies lie about being virgins?

Tell him the truth, free your conscience, damn the consequence.