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I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by Nobody: 10:02pm On Jun 04, 2018 |
For a start, I’m not a gold digger nor am mine looking for someone to take care of my bills. A little bit about myself. I’m 32 and I’m from a humble background and by the grace of God, my hustle don begins to pay. I'm a graduate and works in a popular oil and gas firm with a monthly take-home of seven-digit. But base on the fact that I'm from a humble background and God don give me breakthrough, I'm supporting my families (siblings) and sometimes friends who are still hustling to establish themselves. So I am a bit careful to date a lady who is the supporting member of her family as well, otherwise, support responsibilities may fall back on me as the man if one marries such lady. And no matter how much one think he earns, too many dependents can weary one progress and a tree can't make a forest. This engineer my desire to marry a girl from a well-to-do family, even if she doesn't earn much, but her family shouldn't be a liability. I have a reservation of being the ‘look-up-to’ person in my family and as well the ‘look-up-to’ person in a wife family as well. While one may be grateful to God for being able to be looked up to, the pressure of demand/expectation may be overwhelming and could slow one’s progress and one runs the risk of not having who to run to when his own need arises because everyone around has always looked up to you. But the challenge is to see and get a girl from a well-to-do family is hard. Is either I can't find any or the few I meet always an attitude issue and are hardly submissive. Meanwhile, I have seen decent ladies from a humble background who are equally making some progress in their own right, but i lost interest when I get to know of their family background because of my biased to marry from a well-to-do family. Besides the benefit of not having many dependents by marrying from a well-to-do family, I covert the benefit of been related to in-laws who may have some sort of relevance and influence. I have this feeling I am settling for less than I originally desired when I see decent ladies but they are from a humble background that I do not advance things with them. Please, I want to know if this my obsession of marrying from a well-to-do family is reasonable or I am taking it overboard. I just want to hear people opinions about my line of thought and be sure I am still in touch with reality and not just be idealism. 64 Likes 7 Shares |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by Dfavouredone: 11:04pm On Oct 05, 2018 |
hmmm I dey come back 10 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by Nobody: 1:52pm On Dec 02, 2018 |
Drop your comments pls. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by tejiri4(m): 1:58pm On Dec 02, 2018 |
It's a good one but you can accept a girl that is working and able to take care of herself even though her family is not too okay, you can support her with little if need exist. 36 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by Nobody: 2:09pm On Dec 02, 2018 |
tejiri4: Thanks for your comment. 5 Likes |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by Dfavouredone: 5:15pm On Dec 02, 2018 |
Marriage is all about happiness and peace. Wherever you find that whether from a well-to-do family or not, embrace it. More importantly seek God's will, as a well-to-do family today may not be so well-to-do tomorrow and vice versa. So more importantly follow God's will as only God knows tomorrow and knows what is best for you. But whosoever you do, do not marry an over demanding girl from an over demanding family (Well-to-do or not) because tomorrow na dem go ask u who u help. 146 Likes 5 Shares |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by Nobody: 5:40pm On Dec 02, 2018 |
I also have that mindset but you limit it to marrying a wife that is last born in their family ... to avoid much responsibility 65 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by Nobody: 5:44pm On Dec 02, 2018 |
Go and look for last born in the family to marry and kindly desist from Igbo ladies. 125 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by longrunner(m): 5:56pm On Dec 02, 2018 |
I understand you brother. It certainly helps to marry a girl like that. I live in Sweden, and have 3 gfs here. One is from a very wealthy family, ans the other two arr from upper middle class, and that helps a lot. It's good for me to send money to my family back in nigeria. Sometimes depending on your situation you have to pay attention to these things. Some women will just drag you down. You can't put your family at risk. But of course that you have to do what is best in your environment. If you are not wealthy, it's hard that a wealthy girl in Nigeria will want to marry you, unlike in Sweden. So don't get too choosy also. Life goes by quickly. 77 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by Nobody: 8:54pm On Dec 02, 2018 |
longrunner: Thanks for your honest thoughts. Glad to know I am not just been all idealistic. 6 Likes |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by Nobody: 8:55pm On Dec 02, 2018 |
Guys don't just read, drop your thoughts/comments as well, thanks. 2 Likes |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by madampresident(f): 10:56pm On Dec 02, 2018 |
sorry to say this... I already feel sorry for you. Marry a girl because she is decent not because she or her family is well to do. It is easier to build wealth with a decent lady than to retain wealth with one who the only thing she has to offer is coming from a well to do home. 105 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by Nobody: 11:15pm On Dec 02, 2018 |
madampresident: No, I didn't say all she has to offer should be just coming from a well-to-do home. Thanks for sharing your thoughts but you don't need to be sorry, I need comments that is why post it. 17 Likes |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by Nobody: 11:23pm On Dec 02, 2018 |
Lalasticlala, can kindly move this to front page. Thanks. |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by franchasng: 11:26pm On Dec 02, 2018 |
I support you op! My advice to Nigerian single guys now is: if u were broke and had no reliable/faithful girlfriend all along who stood by you and u finally made it financially successful, please don't marry any lady or girl that is not working and earning big income like you. 106 Likes 13 Shares |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by franchasng: 11:37pm On Dec 02, 2018 |
madampresident:Story story! As if that's how you ladies marry too Nigerian ladies are very cunning and wicked to Nigerian guys. When a Nigerian lady from a rich home wants to date or marry, she considers the financial capability of the guy first before considering his handsomeness. A broke guy dare not say hello to her because to her it's a taboo. What about a Nigerian Lady that is working and earning good salary like 250k and above, she will never date or marry a guy earning below 300k monthly, that will be a big taboo for her. She considers men only based on how much money they have and not how handsome they look. Go to US, UK. Canada, etc, Nigerian guys living there will abandon all the sweet looking chicks there and go back to Nigeria to find a broke, poor girl to marry and spend on her to become slay queen and then take her to abroad to become a modern chick, but Nigerian ladies living abroad will rather remain single till death than come back to Nigeria to look for a guy to marry and when they eventually try to come to Nigeria to find husband, they only target rich guys and guys from rich family to date and possibly marry. They dare not date or accept to date or marry a Nigerian guy living in Nigeria and struggling to stand financially, it is a taboo. Also a Nigerian guy earning over 500k monthly will just meet one fine broke girl from poor family and start to date her and shower her with love and gifts, and even assist her family and the next thing, he marries her and turn her life around for good without considering that she was a poor girl, but our ladies will never do same if they are the ones that have the money, so Nigerian guys must wake up. What is good for Paul is good for Peter. Guys marry your class only! Stop stooping too low to marry broke girls when you have made it financially. Apply Nigerian ladies wisdom of going after rich and successful ladies of your class too, guys wake up Me I have made it a priority now never to date or marry below my class. I cannot date any broke girl, never! I cannot marry any lady that earns less than 250,000naira monthly. Marry like Royal families; they marry to keep their royal dynasty stronger and richer not just for love based on physical beauty. Before u marry her, please check her real financial value and worth. Will she help u grow financially or help u diminish The world is becoming more and more capitalist by the day, so to survive and to build a good future for your kids, think like a capitalist; consider financial worth of your would be wife or fiancé first before u say I do Guys go for your class, we need to learn from our ladies to avoid regrets 219 Likes 39 Shares |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by lastclaire4(f): 11:43pm On Dec 02, 2018 |
GodisGood4321: How do u people get to know she is from a rich home? Especially if she doesn't live with her parents? My advice is if u see anyone you like and she has something doing then go ahead. If you carry this attitude, sometimes ladies are able to deduce that you want to use them to hold home front. Nobody likes that. 12 Likes |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by lastclaire4(f): 11:49pm On Dec 02, 2018 |
franchasng: You are very funny. How will you get to find out her salary? You think a lady will tell you what she earns. I have friends who divide their salary by 4 or 5 when you want to pry into what shouldn't be your business at that stage. At best you get to know later that they don't earn that low. 6 Likes |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by ZIMDRILL(m): 11:51pm On Dec 02, 2018 |
GodisGood4321: you are too blind to see that, you are the person that you are trying to avoid to marry one day. you said you are supporting your siblings and friends so its ok for you to support your family and friends but the woman you wish to marry shouldnt have family thats needs support from her if she can? think of it this way right now you are looking after your siblings so its ok if a girl dumps you if she uses your line of thinking ? 75 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by Nobody: 11:53pm On Dec 02, 2018 |
franchasng:What you said may seem logically the right thing to do, but since it's not realistic; I term it that you're just ranting. This people are mostly guided by emotion and don't give fùcks about class. Only the creme de la creme of the society marry within the confines of their class to secure financial security. 17 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by Nobody: 11:55pm On Dec 02, 2018 |
ZIMDRILL:You deserve a medal. 27 Likes |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by franchasng: 12:00am On Dec 03, 2018 |
kimbraa:My dear, Nigerian guys are waking up gradually. Didn't you read the Op's post I have friends who are high earners but have also swore never to marry below their class, and because they are still searching discretely to find their class of lady, they have refused to marry. Some work with IOCs, some own their own successful businesses while some are young startup company owners Guys are waking up gradually, only the deluded & perpetually foolish guys still marry below their class nowadays. If you are honest, u hardly see situations of one rich or legally successful guy getting married to one fine broke chick like we do witness in the past, the trend is reducing. Only money miss roads and illegal money jam boys like yahoo boys, drug guys and thieves still marry ladies based on their physical beauty alone. Educated and successful Nigerian guys are now marrying according to their class. The girl must be earning high by working in a top company or she owns a successful business, or from a well to do family for her to get an educated successful young man nowadays. Or haven't u observed the trend of Naija guys marrying white ladies and foreign based ladies that are legal citizens of European, American, etc countries Guys are learning fast from the ladies but of course there must be the fools in every gathering so there must be foolish guys too who will marry based on she is very fine 78 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by Nobody: 12:04am On Dec 03, 2018 |
I have the urge to call you a gold digger but I will resist. 18 Likes |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by MarianaTrench: 12:05am On Dec 03, 2018 |
OP, I think your fears are in order . Don't marry a girl from a hungry family otherwise she will overload you with financial responsibilities! 27 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by BatmanIsWatching(m): 12:05am On Dec 03, 2018 |
This thread is an eye opener. When you look at it, Nigerian girls prefer going for successfully guys, So why should I pursue a broke lady who isn't earning up-to 100k per month unless she is still in school with the potential of becoming great. Seriously one needs to have a rethink. 50 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by franchasng: 12:05am On Dec 03, 2018 |
lastclaire4:from the company she works with, you will know. From how she lives and how her family lives, u will know unless the guy na ode I know successful people when I see one. Its not about living abroad oh, majority of Nigerians living abroad are not successful, they are struggling, just that the advantage of inflation and high exchange rate makes it seem like they are financially successful when they come back and change the hard currency they returned with. So if u are a guy who is financially successful legally, u should be able to know a Lady that is successful when u meet one. Believe me, this reason of guys looking for their class to marry is one reason many financially buoyant guys are still single and u will be wondering why they don't want to marry, I speak with authority on this 64 Likes 7 Shares |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by BatmanIsWatching(m): 12:07am On Dec 03, 2018 |
He's not a gold digger. Many girls these days are from broke homes. All they do is put financial obligations on you when it seems you have money. Better to go for successful ladies as well. No to broke girls. Colourich: 33 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by Nobody: 12:08am On Dec 03, 2018 |
franchasng:He's as delusional as you initially suggested. My apologies in advance if you find that abusive. What's the ratio of ladies from well to do families worldwide going down their social strata to marry a man from a poor family? Very insignificant figure if compared to men from the rich homes who would marry from any class. I think it's ok to dream. He may wake up one day in one rich man's house, married to his daughter and being controlled like a puppet. That's how it mostly ends. 21 Likes |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by Nobody: 12:09am On Dec 03, 2018 |
BatmanIsWatching:He is looking to marry dangote daughter. 7 Likes |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by Nobody: 12:10am On Dec 03, 2018 |
Whether u marry a rich girl or "humbled background" lady, u will still have to extend ur hand to the extended family because by marriage her family becomes urs.... Just marry a Good girl, who loves and fear the lord. Some rich or well to do background chick comes with a price. Because u might end up being the wife and she the husband, after all....Her father has money. In life u explore all options and by the way, you compromise at each point in time, if its not for the wrong thing. You could marry a girl from an humble background and u wont carry as much responsiblity as u think, or God could provide more for you, you both could have a savings for the extended family....joint funds to send home 50/50 or so.... The wife in question will have a job. You could also marry a rich girl and her family demands alot from u as inlaw.... Or the wife might want to live extravagant when u are trying to meticulous in your spending and save for tomorrow. She came from a rich home and lived extravagantly. That wouldnt change in her husband house. So my dear, be open...the most important thing to consider is ....The lady, is she a christian??... A good girl and is the family a christian as well.... He be like say u never see inlaw with money, wey go frustrate u with their money join na?? . Just slap their daughter and u will build a house in prison....*That was on a little note* 39 Likes |
Re: I desire to Marry A girl from a well-to-do family But... by franchasng: 12:13am On Dec 03, 2018 |
kimbraa:I will advice him not to focus only on marrying a girl from rich family. He should also consider ladies that are working in top companies and earning big income too. Or ladies that own their own successful businesses or trade. Or ladies living abroad legally and working legally too not the ones living illegally abroad. If he broadens his search with these criteria I gave above, he will definitely find a match but then, he must forget about marrying girls below 25yrs cos they are usually financial disaster that he is avoiding 18 Likes |
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