₦airaland Forum

Martinez39:
Okay, I admit I don't know her. If she is indeed not independent they she must among the very very very very few naija girls that can call off such relationship.

No. Not Victorian. Victorian will gladly lick his ass.

UyaiIncomparabl:
I'm not a narcissist.

And no, we are not alike.

but you are unemotional.

Your word not mine.

Once you recognise red flags you leave.
It's not a question.
No one should stay in an abusive relationship and a relationship with a narcissist IS an abusive relationship.
They just take and take and take, break you into tiny little bits until there is nothing left of you.
The worst is if you regain your power and leave the relationship with the narcissist when he/she is not yet done draining you.


They will do their utmost best to ensure you go through hell on earth.
-They love to do little things to set you off,
(They either do it privately or if publicly they do it passive aggressively,) so you can blow up and look crazy and they can point and tell people, "see, we told you she was crazy," while they look like the innocent victim that you're harassing (the narcissist is a fool, and the people who believe his lies are fools. You shouldn't care about this) you can ignore the narcissist lies.
- trying their best to spoil your name to people. Making you look like a devil. (Speak your truth if you wish. Then Move on)
-stalking you. Following you about, keeping tabs on you.


But you leave anyway.
Leave any relationship with a narcissist.

funmisticqueen:
A narcissist will make it hard for you to leave them

Definitely.
But you have to. Cut them out of your life completely, block everywhere. Call, social media, block and block.
- Pretend they don't exist if you run into them and move away from them immediately.
These are the ones I know.

UyaiIncomparabl:
No. Not Victorian. Victorian will gladly lick his ass.

Okay.

johnkey:
but you are unemotional.

Your word not mine.

Yes, I am. But doesn't define me as a narcissist. I don't think highly of myself.

ubunja:
So in short you just described Women?
Check it out:



I see you have brought the dictionary definition of Narcissism that has veered from the original story of Narcissus. I will counter this your thread with a Miseducation on the same topic before sunset.


I will respond deeply also just now in your thread. Let me book space underneath this message.

Please mentioned me when you counter the thread.

UyaiIncomparabl:
Yes, I am. But doesn't define me as a narcissist. I don't think highly of myself.

it's not a bad thing to think highly of one's self, especially if you have what it takes.

It's about classing yourself and keeping your circle really small.

More like a no love lost-no love found situation

funmisticqueen:
Part 1- THE NARCISSIST.
Good day Nairalanders, I decided to start a series to help others in relationships to recognize red flags and seek help where necessary and also avoid placing themselves in such situations.

This series will be like an expose especially on some B personality types like narcissists, borderlines, sociopaths and psychopaths. The continuity of this series will be based on your feedback, so please share and comment, you may be helping someone.

Who is a narcissist? He/she is someone who has an excessive in or admiration of themselves simple. While everyone has some narcissistic Traits so that we have good self-esteem. It becomes pathological when you have narcissist qualities to high degrees and at the expense of others. These are the narcissists I am referring to. We’ll call tem Narcs for short.

Narcs are usually selfish, entitled (believe they are the best thing since sliced bread), grandiose (believe that they are bigger and greater than they are or someone they aren’t), arrogant, manipulative, shallow/superficial and most importantly lack empathy (do not consider other people's feelings). They constantly seek validation and have a need for continuous admiration by all to boost their self-esteem and ego because they can’t draw such from themselves. Any person, thing or environment that provides this ego boost in any form to the narcissist is termed “narcissist supply”. Status symbols like sports cars, wealth, beauty; a yes man or sidekick or arm candy, a beautiful lady in the midst of less pretty ones so that she stands out more and so on are prime examples of narc supply

Narcissism is a spectrum, but we will broadly classify them into two but keep in mind that they overlap. The overt narcissists and the covert narcissists. Overt narcissists are easier to spot. They are usually extroverts. Most CEOs and a certain president who called our country a shithole are prime examples. We all know that arrogant person who doesn’t care for other people’s feelings, or that high and mighty boss who doesn’t care or give you leave because your mother is ill. Or that bf/gf who always want to be the center of attraction, it has to be about them. When in a relationship with such a person they do anything to make themselves look good even belittling you and chipping away your self-esteem so that you want to be like them, it can go on for so long you don’t know what is real anymore. ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS ANYONE!
Covert narcissists are harder to spot, they have narcissist traits but hide it. They are experts of victim mentality, blame shifting, sabotaging and passive aggression. When in a relationship with such a person, you will always feel bad and not know why, everything seems perfect on the outside but something nags you and you can’t pinpoint the problem. If you feel such you might be in a relationship with a covert narc. They will make you feel bad on your birthday, or show fake concern if you are overweight. Some spiritual leaders, marriage counselors and therapists are prime examples, when you got to them they throw it back at you and tell you the problem is your fault. A covert narc may apologize for wrong doing, and promise to change but will go back to old habits soon after.

Narcs are not capable of sustaining deep intimate relationships where give and take is involved. They take and take until the giver is half of themselves. The relationship becomes 11/2 = 1/2 instead of 1=1 and sadly Nigerian upbringing is producing a lot of male covert narcissists.

So the question is should one stay or leave a relationship with a narc? That is entirely up to the person. Narcissists cannot be completely changed because it is a personality disorder. But something can be done which we will address in part 2. Please ask questions and feel free to share personal examples or your ordeals with a narc.
Cc

Nobody Cares, MUMU face your Responsibility and work

johnkey:
it's not a bad thing to think highly of one's self, especially if you have what it takes.

It's about classing yourself and keeping your circle really small.

More like a no love lost-no love found situation

Noted.

ubunja:
everytime I try to Google something I find myself typing "Thick Latina MILF"

LMAO, I can relate

If you can't cope with the red flag just walk away like Craig David.





I don't think twice when walking away. Good thing I have a good emotional off switch.

This one na women matter. let me bring my chair closer to read comments

Here to read comments lol.

Avedonn:
Please mentioned me when you counter the thread.

i wrote it last year but I'm now too lazy to find it on my computer.

sassysure:
Thumbs up girl

Lovely topic.


I dated one.
So hard to break up with such people. Guilty conscience will swallow u up.
So manipulative. When I finally decided it's over(after failing more than 10 times to call off the relationship)

The type that will want to see the justification for the extra 10kobo u spent while shopping to prepare his meal as a visitor from far.

His money don't ever go into a project he will Never be the major beneficiary.

I had my pound of flesh when I wanted to leave finally.
As spending his money is not an option unless it's a biz proposition, I brought one to him and he fall for it.
Taking his money was to tell him that I kept calm and cool for long not because I don't know what to do but I was hoping he can change a little.

Tracked me down after my marriage with treats but friends told him to respect himself.
Started stalking me endlessly. All my social media accounts.
This time around we can start from where we stopped but as married people.
The wife is feeling the heat.
He was mad that I can boldly reject him, I mean this guy is hawt and he knows it. He has the qualifications, status and background and babes flock around him.
So he sees himself as Elvis Presley.

So charismatic outside. Even my mum was charmed.

Your all post says only one thing - you left him because he wasn’t releasing money


Why are you lots this stingy and useless ?? You that is complaining what did you help him achieve with your own money?

A relationship isn’t a one sided walk

johnkey:
You're so right about this.

The [b]Scorpio [/b]in me tends to control the narcissist in me though.

I don't want your help simply because I don't want to be indebted to you or have you controlling me

And if I will help you it has to be for something, which mostly is the poosay for me cause I don't need help in the first place so if you've got no poosay to offer I'll simply help for humanity or ignore.

And we can also both walk away in opposite direction and forget we ever met.

I dont think living the scorpio way is being narcissistic.
A scorpio can really give their all without minding but what they hate most is anyone trying to take advantage of them, lie to them, play smart of them. They are true humanist when it comes to being human but can also be a cold blooded a**hole when crossed.

If you want to know zodiac signs that are likely (not all of them) to be narcissistic, then talk about Leos!

victorian:
My dear , I don't waste my time dating such type of human beings.

Immediately I notice on the first date ? Its over . I can't cope with any man , I hope to date having such mentality. I don japa!!

I dated one like that, he thought he is the only available God's gift to women . Fine . tall 6" 2" ft with a good job and perfect massive duplex home . Intact after the date, I regretted ever meeting up with him. And I told him point blank , sorry Im no longer interested in dating you. He was shocked and angry. But thats it . I just can't swallow such attitudes everyday .

bye bye to such terrible attitude . Give it to somoeonesle biko, I"ll pass!.

I can't !

it's like you have dated all species of men in Nigeria abi you also have gone international? Whenever i read your post, it's one story after another about your experiences with men. Na wa oooo

Eg justwise


quote author=thebosstrevor post=75790509]most nar are on NL.

because they got lot of likes on a comment or a post they believe they are speaking the gospel truth. Any opposition comment is like a personal attack on their self worth.

Some NL mod are in the same category.[/quote]

PIPnator:
I dont think living the scorpio way is being narcissistic.
A scorpio can really give their all without minding but what they hate most is anyone trying to take advantage of them, lie to them, play smart of them. They are true humanist when it comes to being human but can also be a cold blooded a**hole when crossed.

If you want to know zodiac signs that are likely (not all of them) to be narcissistic, then talk about Leos!

cancer can be narcissistic supply for leo

We all know the op is referring to her ex boyfriend that broke up with her anyways women are attracted to Alpha males and you cant be an Alpha without being Narcissistic.

LordKO:
Your submission is almost perfectly in order. However, you lump narcissistic, egoistic, conceited and egotistic traits together. There are thin lines/differences among them. One thing possessors of the traits have in common is penchant for subjugation (they're of the manipulative ethical leaning). They personify subjugation. Someone of the manipulative ethical leaning can possess either a calm or boisterous personality - the calm ones are more dangerous.

For example:

- Contrary to this erroneous assertion about narcissists "They take and take until the giver is half of themselves." Everything is transaction-business-like to narcissists and they don't pretend about it - they're givers, but not altruistic givers. Selfishness and sanctimony - to them they're good moral personification, instead of personification of hypocrisy they're - are their major hallmark.

Only egotists "take and take until the giver is half of themselves.". . . finished. Self-centeredness and contentiousness are their major hallmark.

In this same setting, egoists are the Greek gift givers, they give in the guise of kindness but with an intention to perpetually possess/own the beneficiary, unlike narcissists that don't pretend about their intention of giving, they do pretend about their own intention - sycophancy is their major hallmark. And conceited people, unlike narcissists that believe they are good moral personification, are after domineering/owning others intellectually - to a conceited person, s/he has monopoly of knowledge.

A developed/extreme egoist is an automatic psychopath. While a developed/extreme egotist is an automatic sociopath.

Altruistic and conscientious people are gold - people of the diplomatic ethical leaning.

But for one thing, I'd point to you two popular Nairalanders on the romance and family sections that are narcissists.

I'd like to know the ones on Romance, as for Family, say no more, one in particular starts with Elder

First of all I don’t label people and also I’ve learnt to come from a place of love we all have our personalities and what I focus on is how can we work together to make it work first things first is recognizing and also finding a way to let them know how their actions affect yours I wouldn’t even know a narcicist because I’m not there to be your psychiatrist I’m there to be a friend a lover and a wife I can talk with you and leave everything open for you to share your heart with me but I’m not into labels I just love.

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
If you can't cope with the red flag just walk away like Craig David.





I don't think twice when walking away. Good thing I have a good emotional off switch.

tell me more about this switch

solasoulmusic:
First of all I don’t label people and also I’ve learnt to come from a place of love we all have our personalities and what I focus on is how can we work together to make it work first things first is recognizing and also finding a way to let them know how their actions affect yours I wouldn’t even know a narcicist because I’m not there to be your psychiatrist I’m there to be a friend a lover and a wife I can talk with you and leave everything open for you to share your heart with me but I’m not into labels I just love.

pray not too be with one oo. You can't change them

solasoulmusic:
First of all I don’t label people and also I’ve learnt to come from a place of love we all have our personalities and what I focus on is how can we work together to make it work first things first is recognizing and also finding a way to let them know how their actions affect yours I wouldn’t even know a narcicist because I’m not there to be your psychiatrist I’m there to be a friend a lover and a wife I can talk with you and leave everything open for you to share your heart with me but I’m not into labels I just love.

yawn.

ubunja:
i wrote it last year but I'm now too lazy to find it on my computer.

OK Boss

always fascinated with your write-ups.

Here are 10 key relational red flags to look out for:
Lack of communication. ...
Irresponsible, immature, and unpredictable. ...
Lack of trust. ...
Significant family and friends don't like your partner. ...
Controlling behavior. ...
Feeling insecure in the relationship . ...
A dark or secretive past. ...
Non-resolution of past relationships .

Deicide:
We all know the op is referring to her ex boyfriend that broke up with her anyways women are attracted to Alpha males and you cant be an Alpha without being Narcissistic.

actually no. While that is true my ex is not the reason for this topic, besides that was a while ago. I left him in style. I had a spat with one of them on NL few days ago.

IdreamOfUnicorn:
Here are 10 key relational red flags to look out for:
Lack of communication. ...
Irresponsible, immature, and unpredictable. ...
Lack of trust. ...
Significant family and friends don't like your partner. ...
Controlling behavior. ...
Feeling insecure in the relationship . ...
A dark or secretive past. ...
Non-resolution of past relationships .

beautiful, you forgot to write addict.

coolestofall:
This one na ladies matter.

seriously na confirm ladies matter, u can see how they don come out fully.lolz

victorian:
My dear , I don't waste my time dating such type of human beings.

Immediately I notice on the first date ? Its over . I can't cope with any man , I hope to date having such mentality. I don japa!!

I dated one like that, he thought he is the only available God's gift to women . Fine . tall 6" 2" ft with a good job and perfect massive duplex home . Intact after the date, I regretted ever meeting up with him. And I told him point blank , sorry Im no longer interested in dating you. He was shocked and angry. But thats it . I just can't swallow such attitudes everyday .

bye bye to such terrible attitude . Give it to somoeonesle biko, I"ll pass!.

I can't !

hahahahaha
Date ur class,u ppl will nt listen.


Thy is nothing like narc here if u are not trying to reap wie u did not sou