Birds are meant to fly, she is one and will definitely fly away.

When a woman begins to show rudeness, this is the final chapter of whatever you guys ever shared.

She is growing contempt and disdain for you. Let her go. Feel the hurt now. Because even if you overcome this, she is still leaving.

Take heart!

Chinanny:
Can a girl use a guy and dump his like guys do?

My Ex-boyfriend is crying back to me.

He said baby please forgive me, she deceived me and made me sleep with her. I never knew the call she called me was yo drunk me.

please forgive me.

Naturally in life, we all exploit and use ourselves. Those who cry are those who get little to nothing compared to there investment.

In other words, the girl was smarter than him. You may end up paying her "fee" to him.

Better stop this pity party. A lot of us saw ourselves through school, came out good with great jobs and skills.

We blame no one for out misfortune, instead we turn them around.

Better learn today that in this life, you are on your own. No one's cares and anything you can't get legally for yourself is not yours.

Wake up and smell the coffee. Channel your pain, that is your biggest strength now.

Bros, it is not your turn yet. She is still with the other landlord.

On a serious note...

The way people behave is a great pointer to their feeling. Does she miss work? Classes? Or squash her meetings with her friends?

As simple as it may sound, you are not important to her. Deal with it.

Why are yoh always confused especially after a definite action?

Just like your previous thread...

https://www.nairaland.com/2179141/need-experienced-advice-pls-should

The deed has been done, the best is to stay away, which I doubt you will heed to.

Enjoy.

Nowell08:
Hello Nairalanders!!!

It's with all pains, dignity, depression, frustration I write this. Being a new person here and having no hope in sight, I consider this forum as my last resort.

I am in dire need of a job. It's frustrating that I don't even have a dime to feed.
Even with my HSE (General and Level 3) and also a graduate, I don't blame those who take their lives because the frustrations are just so unbearable.

Please help me

Location, grade class and course. We start from there

bukatyne:


The husband supporting the girl would seem like he actually has an interest in her.

The apprentice can only keep sending people to plead her case.

I also agree with you.

It is not every help/favour/gift I accept.

See what free ride has cost this poor girl.

Or if there is a body she can appeal to plead her case before her madam.

I am just thinking, the man should be able to talk to the wife as an authority, Leader, partner or whatever their marriage is based upon.

I feel he is the only one the wife will listen to. He needs to prove her otherwise by calming her down and letting her know it was just false alarm and pleading that she let the girl be.

This is my opinion, but I think he should help out.

I don't get it. Can't the husband defend her? This is my problem with weak men tail between their legs all the time.

People should also note... Some favors are like traps and risky. If it was me I will not step into that car.

I actually make it a point not to accept or go friendly with my boss and his family neither do I receive favors.

I feel for her but I think the husband should speak out. His foot dragging is why this girl is suffering.

PS: If the woman is defiant, then she should bounce. She must have learnt all she needs to learn already with just 4 months left.

The last time I checked, you do not need "freedom" to practice as a caterer, own your restaurant, get a catering jib/gig or get clients.

She should move on.

Pictures?

bukatyne:


Your husband hurts you anytime you try to apologize to him.

Apologize for what exactly?



This is interesting especially the bolded



So your husband of 6yrs suddenly thinks you are not making your marriage work anymore.

Madam, tell us the full story if you genuinely want an holistic advice.

Smart woman, I already stated that this lady is hiding too many facts. How will someone hurt you for apologizing and waking them up.

I guess she is becoming an irritant and the husband is totally immature too.

Whichever the case, her info is incomplete!

AwkaetitiBabe:
Another miscarriage?? See you have to take your life and happiness into your own hands. Stop apologizing, simply lock up. The man is probably frustrated, so I'll advise you simply quit the jokes and plays that irritates him.. For ur baby's sake. Just know a baby will tie you down there but perhaps the baby will change him

You are one lady who has made sense so far. The man is frustrated already but something she is doing is aggravating him and turning him to a devil.

This does not absolve the man but like you said, she can lock or leave, but for her to be posting here, she is not ready to leave so she should take your opinion to the letter.

Eddygourdo:
madam why can't you respect yourself and stop rocking the boat in your marriage. Stop that play that annoys and irks him, stop those behaviors that don't foster peace in your home. Are you that immature to play with your marriage? What is wrong with some of us and victim mentality.
Comparing reactions to perceived hurt like little kids.

You both might be married, but you are still two different people who need understanding to cope and live. Understand now that you should behave in ways that foster peace and accord in your home and not otherwise under any guise of "play" or "romance"

Once you get mature and start behaving mature like someone who knows this marriage has to work, you will see things improve in your home and maybe then your immature husband will also take cue and behave himself.

This is exactly what I am saying. I don't know why men and women see things differently.

This woman is also a motivator to her husband actions, she will not say the truth.

This is why instead of her to leave the abusive marriage, she is trying to save it. Because, she knows the man is not like that previously.

ImaIma1:


No man has the right to treat his wife that way regardless of what he is going through. So it's ok to beat and mistreat his wife; especially a pregnant one because he is going through something?

Please don't promote nonsense. That is foolishness and selfishness. A man that acts that way is irresponsible and thoughtless and should not be indulged. Reach into his heart indeed! If he cannot reach into his heart himself and give himself sense, he should go back and stay with his mother because he's not worthy to be called a man.

Is it that you people don't read completely or your oestrogen rush makes you forget details and pick the one that suits you?

I started my post by condemning violence but my advise is based on one premise:

THIS WOMAN SAYS SHE WANTS TO SAVE HER MARRIAGE. IF SHE WANTS TO LEAVE DUE TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, WE ARE NOT THE ONES TO TELL HER TO.

She knows what she want and it is to get her husband to his best behavior and that is what my comment is about.

If someone wants to kill you, will you wait for faceless people online to tell you to run?

bdchange:
The first solution to marriage palava is to inform family members and loved ones so they can try to repair any damage found. If that option has been utilized then you can think of separation before divorce. She wants her marriage back to a happy home but most of you are already giving her the last option in which most won't used when face with the same issue. Hmmm

Is it not funny?

The woman says she want to save her marriage and spinsters everywhere are telling her to leave.

Is she a kid that does not know what she wants? Or is the marriage a toilet where you go take a dump and leave anytime you want?

The man is beating her up which is terrible but for every problem, there is an origin and series of solution.

lalasticlala, come and help this woman.

cococandy:
So people can just decide to physically abuse others because they are going through stuff?

Yes, people abuse others because they go through stuffs. Policemen, Sars, bully, serial killers, robbers, envious people... The lists goes on.

So stop acting like it is news.

Physical violence is bad and I do not support it.

But we are trying to find the cause of the issue in this woman's household.

This is why I say this woman has not completely and explicitly expressed the true situation in her post.

There is a way she Is acting or reacting to him that is making him beastly. She is the only on who can answer this. But I am certain on one thing, she is not being helpful to the man's plight and he is doing the only thing he knows, violence.

There is a reason for every actions. People don't just snap!

liberalchick:


Of course no one wants to leave their marriage even if sometimes that’s the best thing to do in a toxic marriage. Leaving or separating from a spouse is one of the most difficult things to do and most times, people don’t leave until they’ve gone through some sort of intervention.

What you’re doing is minimizing the physical abuse and trying to justify or look for reasons why he might’ve hit her. Barring self defense, there is NO reason or justification for a physical assault. While you’re telling her to talk to a man that has already told her he wants nothing to do with her, a man that hit her because she woke him up putting her at risk for another miscarriage. Is that what you would tell your daughter to do?

I would never justify or support violence on one's spouse on any scale. But this woman is just giving her side, the man Is not here to say anything.

But the most important thing I want you to note, she came here for advice on how to get his love back.

If the violence was her problem, we will not be here. She knows what to do. Just like you stated, she should leave.

People vent differently but the husband has chosen to be beating her continuously, which begs the question logically. And yet she is not thinking of leaving. This should tell you that she is not being sincere with the information she gave here.

Let me ask you, think this thing through. How will a human being beat you mercilessly just for waking them up. Does that even make any sense to you?

liberalchick:

I hear you, so because he is going through something, she should get hit enough to cause a miscarriage. What kind of marriage is that? Is that not the point of marriage, together as one. If you so much hate being vulnerable sharing your problems with your spouse enough to physically abuse them then you shouldn’t be in the union.

My first paragraph had a sentence where I spoke against the violence.

From the tone of her post, she is not ready to leave her marriage, she is here because she wants to fight and salvage the situation. If she wants to leave, she will not be here asking for solutions.

She wants her husband's love back and I am telling her something she needs to achieve as part of that step.

ALSO, nothing is in black and white. you will still brood over issues one day without telling your partner and still vilify him for not noticing. I am certain you have done it in the past too.

I saw your comment telling her to leave, you may as well, go to her house and pack up her bag for her.

Read her post again... She wants to fight and save her marriage even if it is not the best. She is not ready to leave. If not, she will on her own!

I am so sorry about what you are going through, especially the violence. Which is enough for you to leave but you have decided otherwise.

Since, you want to get his love back back, then the problem is about what you have refused see. You are still acting on the surface. Behave live a therapist.

But...

Your husband is going through something which you are unaware of. Something is bugging him and being egoistic, he doesn't want to talk but wants you to know and empathize. Weird right?

The reason why he is venting on you is because it is just you he has. But because he is yet to master his problem, this is the reason for his haphazard behavior.

When last did you sit him down and ask about his finance, career, goals, aspirations?

Your husband needs you to talk to him and all those talks about respect from him is just to summarize his defensiveness.

Your husband is going through something, reach into his heart. He loves you you and that other wife talk is a big bluff. He only wants you to step up. Reach out to him.

orjah:
Hello nairalanders, i discovered something about me recently. I feel always hot. i mean even inside ac,fan,i feel hot always then there is this light itching i get . when the sun is out and very hot,my body becomes hot,my eyes feel like they are dry and heavy. i dont feel weak,sick or have any symptoms. infct last time i visited hospital is about 10years ago. Could it be hiv i have or something. I feel so scared. i do not have any symptoms like i said. but i am a new smoker to marijuana abt 3yrs now. sometimes i feel my body is hot,but it doesnt feel hot when i touch it. i bought drugs for maybe fever,but i did not see any difference. infct i can do work from 12 to 4pm,still do exercise,drink water, when the sun is out i feel like dying when im indoors,but when i go out i dont feel the heat much. I also feel slight pain in my testes esp the left side. i had been following some vigorous youtube home exercises on how to loose belly fat but recently i noticed my testes feel somehow bigger or is it that my intestine is inside my testes. I am very worried and i feel so depressed because i dont feel sick,weak,or anything but i have slight itches and my body feels hot every now and then. help me

Your other symptoms are too haphazard, but I will talk on the testicular pain

The following may cause testicular pain.
Varicocele - enlarged vein - I suspect this.
Epididymitis - infection
Orchitis - infection
Hydrocele - fluid (not sperm) build up in scrotum.

You suspect that your intestine is falling into your testes, I suspect inguinal hernia.

To rule out HIV, for for test.

makydebbie:



You think she doesn't know that?

In this 21st century, who cares about people's opinion of me? I really don't, I don't know about you. Who the fvck cares about people tho.

I'm saying everyone should stop being hypocrites guys do this, now a female has and you all are complaining about people judging her, you'll see nlders have gone to Twitter to dm her after bashing her here.

Clear!

makydebbie:
You all are hypocrites.

I wish we could purge you out of the surface of this earth. A world without idiots.

You like bold woman, you don see am now she be ashawo. Stupid hypocritical sanctimonious lots.

Dzifa, you are wrong on this,

If she wants to go this route, Direct messaging is a great place to start.

People who know nothing about her will judge her with just this post!

Regards!

Mowoe:

I know right! Dunno what's with me and Redmi, i actually have a note 7 too and don't mind giving both up for the note 9

I think this is a great offer now. Both of them except you are on the losing end. Take them to Ikeja, you may get a vendor who is interested.

You should have bought your note 9 straight up. No one will agree to this deal. I use a note 7 pro so I know!

There are really cool people on here. Still in contact with some. While some are total show off. PM me if you want to connect though. It's fun!

The guy is tired of audio credit alert or did she propose to pay in "kind"?

The guy seem really angry. Sorry. Track the driver with the app.

Beard looks weird!

Oh boy, is she bathing with HYPO?

raymondele86:


What evidence? Have you seen a rapist who raped in public? I won't be surprised if you had raped someone before...

Like your father raped your mother right?

Yeah, don't stop but with EVIDENCE too!

Magnoliaa:



Ayam still finding the meaning for this too.

When you see it, please mention me too. I know about parallel line and it's void between them.

People use the idiom to escape facts most times though.

The sisters also know all the female shenanigans. Thus, they will let in him on some secrets especially when you misbehave!

nlPoster:


So dont give them, does it need the constant unending whining here?

Haha, She is a lady and she is also lampooning her fellow!