ngwababe:



Guy, you bad. You know surely, how to get us.

Do you want to be my friend?

OP, get over it. I think both of you led yourself on foolishly. She was really expectant, but you goofed. She is dealing with the pseudo-rejection the best way she can, also, she is not happy to see your happy pictures. So move on.

---

The Parable of the goat and the yam in the same pen!

It has been proven countless time, that there is no sanity and clarity when a man and a women with the right amount of hormonal rush think that they can stay friends. Especially when nothing ties them together, maybe business or they are investment partners.

You can speak all the English you want to speak, but do not ever forget these...

You cannot tell your body when to and not to produce oetrogen, testosterone, dopamine and oxytocin. Nature must proceed.

This is also why you should beware of girls who claim all their friends are the opposite sex. You are been fooled!

Guys, the best way to get any girl is to be her friend but once in a while, chip in romantic talks and dirty chats but do not forget to also touch her "mistakenly" sometimes, this qualifies you as a potential romantic partner.

Do this systematically and You have already laid the ground for your impending kill.

Thank you.

- Surprise me with pineapple once in a while, I am not joking here.

- Respect yourself. Because if you do, you will behave proper.

- Know what I dislike as I know yours too.

- When you want to leave, tell me. Let's close things like a church service.

TheArchangel:
Parental pressure 90% of the time. Especially if the parents are wealthy like in her case. You don't go against daddy and mommy or they will cut you off kinda situation. OP was born with a silver spoon so it is not about the man's money.

Parental pressure? Like she is some kind of robot. If they were poor I will understand but have you ever seen where a rich parent push their kids to marriage?

All the rich parents I know are more interested in having their children making their choices and getting the best education.

So, I do not agree with your reason. She should leave the man for good.

pweetiedee:


Everything isn't about money. What's ur problem?

Brightgem:
Just want to know, why exactly do some of you think everything in life is for a woman is centered around wealth or money.

Untill men stop thinking all they have to offer that makes them useful is money and women stop thinking their bodies can get them what they want, then divorce rates are still a joke then.

Can both of you please tell me what was her reason for marrying him in the first place, seeing that she never loved him.

Please tell me? If you don't love a man, what other reason will push you to get married to him? Answer me!

tegrianonigltd:


That’s why nigeria won’t grow, we don’t grow our passion, all we need is Business, start a business. Allow the young man do the adventure. Life is a risk, out there in the other world it’s different, been in England change my perception about life out there in Nigeria, in Nigeria, it all about how to survive not how to improvise.. I may not sound all good to you but this is the basic truth, we didn’t grow up to go after what we passionate about but how to survive

I did not advise him. I said "if I was in his shoes". If it was me.

I did not say "he should" instead I said "I will".

He is not me. Read between the lines always and understand all context before quoting.

When you are dead I suppose!

But on a serious note... If she says continue, then she is not obviously.

Do you do pre-intimacy or you just jump into the jungle?

You married the brother who was ready to take care of your bills right? Because the one you wanted was not serious, ready and wealthy. Hahahahah. I assume things are not too well with that man again so you are ready to bounce.

I hope that brother bursting your head now is really interested in you and will take your child too.

You never loved that man, it did not just start today. You knew but because of comfort and money. You decided to try your luck and see if the love will grow.

You are making no effort so why not just divorce, separate...just leave and seek your happiness.

To my fellow guys, don't ever get swindled in the name of love. Nothing is real!

Like they say. Girls don't marry who they love, they only follow who is ready to shoulder their responsibility and expense, that is you! She is still in love and loyal to the ex.

Imagine after you marry her and the only thing he never had, money becomes a thing of the past?

Unlike the blind fools, I will advice you check your partners phone every three month, so you can always see their life path.

What you do not know will kill you or how do people die from poisoning, sniper shot and letter bombs.

You have to downgrade that girls level to a Bleep buddy or let her go completely. Do not ever marry her.

ALSO, the past really matter, we deceive ourselves tooo much. Try to know alot about your partner or do you start a business with limited info?

PS: I see relationships as a business, damn love!

Seems the "hustle" paid off big time. Do not forget, they do thorough check at the American embassy.

But to be sincere, if I was in your shoes. I will stay back and start a business. I don't know the business but I must find one.

On second thought, that kind of money means you have grown bigger than asking for life changing decisions from strangers.

So let's not deceive ourselves, if you travel with your limited education, you will be dumping your money in a soak away.

20 Million at 25 in Nigeria, what is the name of your start up in Nigeria, your stage name, political office, yahoo format or you sold your family land?

MODIFIED


I did not advise him. I said "if I was in his shoes". If it was me.

I did not say "he should" instead I said "I will".

He is not me. Read between the lines always and understand all context before quoting.

The only way is based on how they perceive you, polite or impolite.

Just tell them that you are not interested.

Everyman to his own head pan.

Lazy opposition.

Op80:
Hello fellow forumites, help me make a decision.
I have been selected for N-tech software program of the federal government, waiting for verification and training. Being that i am working in one of the food companies in Lagos but underpaid when my qualification is put into consideration, and that I am working in a very toxic environment, I am considering resignation to take on the software training. I believe it is a necessary skill I need to boost my career and enable me diversify. Few friends I have told about it have diverse opinions, while some are skeptical about leaving the job due to scarcity of jobs in Nigeria, some are encouraging me to go on.

Now, I am confused on what to do, I need your sincere advice on what to do.

Thank you in advance

Did you later go for the n-tech or you stuck to the job? What happened?

Regards

I was a unionist in UNIBEN before 2015.

- We did DSS clearance too.

- 100 level were not allowed to vote.

- The school does not need your printout to know those who have paid school fees.

- Remove your name and mat number, you don't want the fire you are stoking. Those professors have nothing to lose.

- During my time, total voters were shy of 4,000. UNIBEN students don't like the stress, unless they make it online.

- BMS always have the lowest voters output including dentistry.

I had my run in the the VC and Dean of students too, but my cause was just so I could not be tied down.

Do not fight a losing battle.

You can PM me if you want me to advise you based on a person who have seen it all and done it all.

Mad people. After two years, they could not deliver from UNIBEN. Yet no refund. Stay away from ETX people.

Do not ever trust, you don't even need any reason to convince you.

Humans change because they have free will, how will you base importance on an entity that adapt differently to external factors?

Just try to be you. If she misbehave too much, bounce.

Romance is usually tied to happiness and comfort. You may not be able to afford happiness but how about comfort?

Don't settle for any type of woman. Just accept the one you wish and have it at the back of your mind that her natural default is to misbehave.

Inshort, be expectant of the impending doom. Except you get luck to find one who has discovered herself fully.

Find red sand and create your own!

Guys these days lack the Daniel spirit. With all the writing on the wall, you still cannot read.

You are probably blind, ignorant or have a wish for self inflicted pain.

What is wrong with you guys!

1.Stop being invested in relationships with women.
2. Stop expecting too much from them.
3. You cannot control how another person treats you.
4. You also cannot control their life, you own no one.
5. Relationships are transactional, forget love.

Stop placing your happiness in another. It turns you to a shadow of yourself. Because humans behave irrationally.

Anyways, she is not your woman. You are setting yourself up for a lifetime of tears, heartache and confusion.

Pull away now, emotionally for starters.

Home tutor my man. Female she should be or an Eunuch. Just to avert the chance of drama in another kind happening.

Me and my fellow Nigerians are seeing meat oh!

AFONJACOW:
I wish I can, but to be honest this girl has become part of me , 3yrs is not 3days , if I go on with the marriage I will always suspect her and I cut it short I will feel guilty of betraying her , I fought so hard in this 3yrs to steady the relationship , I wish she can just tell me the honest truth once in her life if she have ever cheated, maybe I will forgive or walk away. But she keep denying and lying despite uncountable evidence I have against her

My man you are not serious. Sunk cost fallacy Is what is worrying. Are you a goat?

You know something will end in pains and yet you are headstrong. I wish you what you want!

AFONJACOW:
wish I can solve it

You can. She did not change, she is only pretending and bidding her time. That woman will hurt you big time especially when you become vulnerable.

She is going to really hurt you. Run away now. Blank her.

AFONJACOW:
Here is mine... Nearly a year it happened still dating same girl but when ever i remember the whole flashback it hit me like hurricane... I called her with different number on WhatsApp prentend to be another guy, I asked her if she had a boyfriend she said yes but out of the country, lol but I dey just few kilometers from, to cut the short, this particular girl gave all her attention has , gave all her information out, even her home town how many they are in the village, I told her coming to see her on weekend that a friend of mine is wedding therefore I will stay over night in a hotel and will like us to meet their, she didn't object , but this is a girl I have took to hotel or slept in my house for the first time, I asked her what I will bring for her , she said anything and I asked her she will bring for me, she told me I should mention one, I said OK. I want a kiss and some hugging she said that's not a problem, she was very friendly , open minded more than she was to me, we spent hours talking on WhatsApp, we have never talk so long like that before, I asked her of she will come she said yes but after market, am 100% convinced if I didn't blow my cover when I couldn't take it anyone she would have come,I blow it when i couldn't take it any longer this is girl I date for 4yrs and my intention is marriage, I have never dated any girl so long , i proposed to her on December last year and planing to talk her to alter middle this year, but each time I remember the incidents it hurt my feelings, I cant walk away because I love her so much and I cant forgive her because I have long memory of forgetting and highly emotional due to my Orthodox style of, one man one woman

You better run when you can. I just pity your life. There is nothing like love. Better count your Loss and move on with your life.

I don't understand how a man will trust a woman, even trust anyone.

No woman is truly your's, she only made a conscious decision to stick with you. So don't let it get into your head. She can as well decide to stick with anyone.

Look out for yourself, be selfish. If for nothing but to safeguard your sanity and well being.

hkidola00:
this is awesome, thanks pal...will relay tins to u as it moving

I want to add to his advice. Don't call her and break up, this will give her chance to start begging and shit. She doesn't even deserve that stress.

Just switch off totally. If you see her talk, if she calls respond. You need to remove all emotional attachment and you will be surprised how fast you moved on.

Don't waste any effort telling her it is over, she will beg oh and you will gin in again. I repeat switch off!

chimimi:
you re right,he knows that very well! I ve asked him several times if he feels he's tired, he should let me and I never disturb or hold anything against him instead of this silent treatment but he hasn't responded! I just don't want a situation where wen I move ,he ll come back and accuse me of cheating! I will keep trying to speak wit him and if at the end of this month of January he's still d same! I will take a walk too.

Actually, he is tired but not 9f your entirely. He is fighting some logically and emotional battle.

It could be one of the following.

1. Wondering if you are the best or if he can do better.
2. He thinks he is way above your standard.
3. One new girl is worrying his head
4. You are simply annoying and difficult to handle.

Don't wait, go to his house or call with a different number or send him text. If you blank him like this, he will still come begging.

I don't think he is really serious about you though. My opinion.