₦airaland Forum

Lol. Seriously don't know what to say, except maybe wait it out?

And yet they say women are gold diggers! Mtcheeew

I see.

OMG! D Akpors n d Maid joke had me roflmao, kai!
How come i'm just discovering u, Vizboy? Wat a hilarious way to spend my evening.

His first act (treating d widow cruelly) was a representation of his true nature.
All acts therafter (this inclusive) is just Politics.
C'est tout!

No worries bin, your fans r on dir way 2 comment. I'm outta here

lil jboy: Akpos, uche and
ikpeba were lost in a
forest.
For weeks, they lived
there.
One day they find a
magic lamp.
They rub it, and sure
enough, out comes a
genie.
The genie says; Since I
can only give out 3
wishes, you may each
have one.
So uche goes first; I
have been stuck here
for too long, I miss my
family and my friends
and my life. I just want
to go home. POOF!!!, he is
gone.
Then ikpeba makes his
wish; I thought i was
going to die here. I am
tired of this place o!
Oga please, me too, I
want to go home. and
POOF!!! he is gone.
Then Akpos starts
crying uncontrollably;
Eeya. Mmmmm, chai oooooo
yekpa! ahhhh! I am
missing them already.
The genie asks, What
is the problem?
Akpos replies: I wish
my friends were here with me again.

Chei!!! I swear ds Akpos need deliverance 4rm stupidity o. Lwkmd.

Lolz. Great jokez.

Ewo, Nsogbu!!!

Absolutely beautiful and inspiring. It is so beautiful to see/hear of something like this.
With the way couples are hitting the divorce courts these days, its encouraging to know that there are those who made it work.
And it wasn't just perfect times - there were disagreements, arguments and fights. Yet they looked beyond all that and fixed their gaze on what mattered - their children. And then they made it work.
I think they simply realised that marriage is forever and not just a matter of till we discover our 'irreconcilable differences'. We couples of this generation have got to learn from these two beautiful people.
After this may they reunite in heaven to share a different kind of bliss.

Pipsland78: I've replied your mail dear, check your inbox.

Pipsland, who d heck r u? N wat d heck r u talking about?

lil jboy: Goodluck Jonathan,
David Mark, Obasanjo
and former miss world
Agbani Darego are
traveling in a train. The
train suddenly goes
through a tunnel and
it gets completely dark.
Suddenly
there is a kissing sound
and then a
slap! The train comes
out of the
tunnel. David Mark and
Obasanjo are sitting
there looking perplexed.
Goodluck Jonathan
is
bent over holding his
face, which is red
from an apparent slap.
All of
them remain diplomatic
and nobody says
anything. David Mark is
thinking:
"These men are all
crazy after
Agbani Darego".
Goodluck Jonathan
must
have tried to
kiss her in the tunnel.
Very proper
that she slapped him.
Agbani Darego is
thinking: "Goodluck
Jonathan must have
moved to kiss me, and
kissed Obasanjo
instead
and got slapped."
Goodluck Jonathan is
thinking:
"Damn it, Obasanjo
must have tried to kiss
Agbani Darego, she
thought it was me and
slapped me." Obasanjo
is thinking:
"If this train goes
through another
tunnel, I could make
another kissing sound
and slap Goodluck
Jonathan again".

hmm, i know d origin of that joke. But i gotta say i love your concept beta. Way to go, jboy.

lil jboy: Goodluck Jonathan,
David Mark, Obasanjo
and former miss world
Agbani Darego are
traveling in a train. The
train suddenly goes
through a tunnel and
it gets completely dark.
Suddenly
there is a kissing sound
and then a
slap! The train comes
out of the
tunnel. David Mark and
Obasanjo are sitting
there looking perplexed.
Goodluck Jonathan
is
bent over holding his
face, which is red
from an apparent slap.
All of
them remain diplomatic
and nobody says
anything. David Mark is
thinking:
"These men are all
crazy after
Agbani Darego".
Goodluck Jonathan
must
have tried to
kiss her in the tunnel.
Very proper
that she slapped him.
Agbani Darego is
thinking: "Goodluck
Jonathan must have
moved to kiss me, and
kissed Obasanjo
instead
and got slapped."
Goodluck Jonathan is
thinking:
"Damn it, Obasanjo
must have tried to kiss
Agbani Darego, she
thought it was me and
slapped me." Obasanjo
is thinking:
"If this train goes
through another
tunnel, I could make
another kissing sound
and slap Goodluck
Jonathan again".

hmm, i know d origin of that joke. But i gotta say i love d way u used it. Way to go, jboy.

lil jboy: Jonathan met with the
Queen of
England. He asked her,
"How do you
run such an efficient
government? Are there
any tips u can
give to me?
I want to help Nigeria."
"Well," said the Queen,
"the most important
thing
is to surround yourself
with intelligent
people." Jonathan
frowned, and then
asked,"But how do i
know the people
around me are really
intelligent?" The Queen
replied, "Oh, that's
easy, you just ask
them to answer an
intelligent riddle."
The Queen
pushed a button on her
intercom.
"Please send
David Cameron in here,
would you?" David
Cameron walked into
the room
and
said,"Yes, your
majesty?" The Queen
smiled and said,
"Answer this riddle.
David, your mother and
father have a
child, it is not your
brother and it is not
your
sister. Who is
it?" Without pausing for
a minute David
Cameron answered,
"that would be
me." "Yes, very good,"
said the Queen.
Jonathan went back
home to ask his Vice
President Sambo.
JONATHAN: Answer
this. Your mother and
your
father have a child, it's
not your brother
and it's
not your sister, who is
it? SAMBO: "I'm not
sure, let me get back
to you." He
asked all his staff in
the Office but none
could
give him an answer.
Finally, one day, VP
Sambo
ran into Dora Akunyili.
Sambo asked, Dora,
SAMBO: Your mother
and father
have a child and
it's not your brother or
sister, who is
it?" Dora answered
sharply, "That's
easy, its me!"
Sambo smiled,and said
"Thanks!" Then he
went back to speak
with President
Jonathan. Sambo: Sir, I
have the answer
to that riddle, It's
Dora Akunyili! Jonathan
got angry,he
said to Sambo. "No
wonder Nigeria isn't
moving forward, I am
surrounded by
Dummies! The answer
is
David
Cameron!" WHO IS
MORE INTELLIGENT?

Lmao. OMG! That is so true of the people at d top in Nigeria.

What the heck!
Is that look even possible?
Are you sure that woman isn't wearing something on d lower part of her body

As always lil jboy u know how to deliver.

LOL. I go submit my ans sheet n prepare to write JAMB again.

@Tolu,
really great jokes. U av me roflmao.
Keep it coming, man.

@AMTC
I kinda enjoyed ur jokes. But I gotta say I enjoyed ur attitude more
Way to go, girl.

@OP quite interesting stories. I have no doubt whatsoever about the existence of mermaids, witches and the likes.
But the one thing you failed to do was tell us the name of your village and state of origin.
Abi how i wan take ds tori do tatafo if i no fit tell dem wch village d tin hapen?
oya fill in d missing blanks jò

[quote author=Hon. SuQ Ma'DIQ]That woman entered the Chimes' family through the back
door. To those that know how it works, such women
always end up like this.
You really are not expecting evil to last forever.
Here is the thru scenario.
Scene 1.
Chime has a daughter, who also happen to have a runs
gal as bossom friend. In trust, she takes runs gal home.
Runs gal sees stupifying affluence. Her runs brain goes to
work. Granted, Sullivan is randy, thinks he has seen all
pants colors. This time he underestimated this particular
runs gal's greed and desperation.
Scene 2.
Plot thickens. Schemings here and there as runs gal
makes every evil move possible to break into Chime's
family by hook or crook. She goes to Babalawo,
Spiritualists etc.
Scene 3.
As the result of runs gal's evil plans takes effect, Chime's
daughter's BOSSOM FRIEND she once innocently took
home suddenly becomes her STEP MOTHER. Battle line
was drawn and Things were no longer at ease.
Scene 4.
Runs gal is from runs family. Her parents and brothers will
do anything for money, even if it means sacrificing their
runs sister. They were all drawn into the gold rush.
Chime's family went to God in prayers. Their prayer point
was: That God should make the scales fall off their
Daddy's eyes. Prayers answered.
Scene 5.
Its vendetta time as Sullivan realises he's been conned by
runs gal. First payback move was to pregnate runs gal's
sister to spite her and her family of wolves. This was also
to prove to her that her juju aint working no more.
Runs gal goes for Sullivans life. He fell ill but as God will
have it he survived.
Scene 6.
Runs gal's juju backfires. She becomes mad. And is finally
barnished and ejected from the position she once usurped,
Wails and tears is heard everywhere in runs gal's family all
THINGS FELL APART. While is thunderous jubilation in
Chime's family as they thank God for their liberation and
family reunion.
TRUE STORY[/quote]Choi! U r a brilliant storyteller. I troway salute o.

Hi Ibifemi, I am in need of the fertilaid pack for men and women. I don't know if I can call you and we can talk. I live in PH though, that wouldn't be a problem, would it?

Nice little teddy bear, I guess

Hmmm

Ha, Vanity upon Vanity, All is Vanity!

Here I am dissatisfied with my height. Here I am disturbed by the sudden appearance of acne on my face. Here I am worried about the unevenness of my skin complexion. Here I am fretting over the 'manly' hairs on my skin.
Here I am worrying, fretting, disturbed, dissatisfied....over absolutely nothing.
Dear Lord, why am I so ungrateful?

oluremi59: A teacher walks into d Classroom and says; If only Yesterday was Tomorrow, Today would have been a Saturday. Now on which Day did the Teacher make dis Statement..........pls hlp me out o

Is the answer not Saturday?

"Why do you love me?" Question was asked by Oga hubby while we were still dating.
Consider it the hardest question ever cos in trying to answer it, my reasons kind of belittled my love for him.

interesting!

Being an a$$hole