₦airaland Forum

rubi96:
These are things I read or hear about that makes me reconsider marriage and my mum will just be wasting time kabashing on my head ��. I just think I'm afraid of this kind of story that touch. Op, I don't have any advice o.

Abeg park well. NK woman is scared of getting married. This is what women that have not bn fortunate to get a suitor in their lives will always say. They console themselves with that story of bn scared of getting married.

It's just like hearing a guy tell you that he is scared of having money or making money.

Funkybabee:
U have google

Irrational response.

Funkybabee:
E gbenu yin soun jor

Kini won un so, ki lan so

Oga, this is not a Yoruba forum naa.
Why not make comment in a language that all of us will understand.

We have a very big problem in this country.

Just look at how foolish our youths have become.

A young man was given an appointment that will challenge the youth to work hard in order to take over such positions and the so called youths are making noise here instead of applauding the feat.

So to those noise makers, the position should be reserved for old men.

Chaiiiii... Leaders of tomorrow... Shame.

MizJaY:
Sorry for the long message but this lockdown period might favour reading long msgs.

I'm the quiet type so I have never opened mouth to insult my husband during any misunderstanding. Just arguments and my voice may go up a bit trying to explain or clear myself but he will start saying im raising my voice and talking back at him and start saying all sorts of things.

Honestly sometimes I wished I could unleash the anger deep down and screammm but I always have self control. If u sit with him, he will give u a million reasons why I'm not a good wife and if u don't know me well, u will fall for it because he tells it so well. I will not say everything he says is false, but 80% is. Only those that really know me, will know he is d one that has problem. He's too difficult at times.

In an office, there's usually that one person that quarrels with everyone am I right? But I end up being d only person that dat person doesn't quarrel with cos I try as much as possible to avoid quarrels that's just d kind of person I am. Calm and quiet.

When I met my husband NYSC days, he was very close to God, organizing programs in church and handling them. That was the main reason I got close to him cos I wasnt so spiritual and needed someone to help me grow spiritually through life. He told me he was called to be a pastor and that excited me but I'm not seeing that now lol. He's spiritual life is almost zero. And back then, he had nothing, we would spend all my money even to reach his sick mother in the village I would buy all the foodstuff to send to her.

The way he talked he sounded promising that things will get better with him, but today, I still suffer, I have no savings, all my salary is on the house. He works too and earns but he's salary covers rent and the children's school fees finished. I do the rest but he doesn't appreciate the fact that I sacrifice everything I earn to feeding the house. We are family of 6. Everything provision, food, children school snack, fuel for car and gen, gas filing etc etc it's me. And that's how my whole salary will just go fiam.

if I ws getting a little appreciation I for no mind but rather I get insults o. It's my fault that
Money is finished, it's my fault that we have no savings, I don't know how to manage money, I'm hoarding my money etc etc those are d words that come out of his mouth o.

I used to be a beautiful woman but no more, I wear one shoe everyday to work, can't buy myself clothes shoes nothing I had to cut my hair to relieve myself from hair money lol. I'm stressed out thinking of where money will come for feeding when my salary gets finished before month end at times I have to beg my sister or my dad a pensioner or hussle one way or d other. I now developed high bp and today I'm living with hypertension taking drugs everyday. It was my parents that gave my husband d job he's doing today. He is not in talking terms with he's dad n siblings. Before he's mother died, things were not too good between them. My husband likes to always form man of d house and want me to apologise whenever there's a misunderstanding saying that I am d one wrong, I'm always wondering how am always the one wrong and he's not � every time.

Sometimes self I don't know what I did that mks him angry he will just start carrying face. Today makes it a week we are not talking cos he has been carrying face since 7days now, and went to post something on wassap yesterday that a woman that cannot apologise to her husband cannot stay in marriage.

My brothers and sisters if I know of anything I did that I have to apologise for yet I refused to apologise that is making him carry face, may God strike me. If u know I did anything wrong why not come to me and tell me u don't like what I did and tell me what i did rather than carry face up n down. He always does that. At times I do ask him and as usual am always d one at fault. Maybe it's cos I'm a quiet person he's taking me for mumu.

The national anthem now is that because he does not have money that's why I don't respect him the way I'm supposed to. I'm always careful with my word when gisting with him cos make I make mistake say Donald duke is d current governor of rivers state haaa problem don enter and it may spoil d sweet gisting we were having. He go almost insult me and become uninterested in gisting with me again cos i don talk mumu talk.

So how can I handle such man cos if no be say I be quiet person, I for don receive serious beating black and blue from this man cos he has done it earlier on in our marriage not serious beating sha but I had some bruises. If not that my parents are still alive and warned him. Tho he still attempts once in a blue moon I go jus arrange myself. But I'm kind of tired. I have no money cos trust me, if I had, Maybe i for don dey plan my move sef I no dey enjoy marriage life at all

Madam, I've to be very blunt to you.
You are part of the problem you're having in the house.

I'm married and I truly understand what family life means.
Your story may sound so beautiful to you but to me it does not. Reading between lines, I see that you don't respect your husband the way it should be. Bn a quiet type is not same as bn a respectful wife.

I can see that your contribution in running the family sometimes make you feel he should be submissive to you. Most women that turned breadwinners think that way.
Support the man, encourage him and also bring up suggestions that will improve him and you'll get the best from him. Don't puncture a man's ego, else his love for you will drop.

Your farther offering him the job he does should not make him a slave to your parents or to you. Don't report your husband to your parents. You may forgive him easily, but your parents may not.

You are quiet but stubborn deep inside. You noticed that your husband is carrying face up and down... according to you... and decide to ignore him waiting for him to come to you. For a whole week you and husband have not bn talking to each other under the same roof and you feel undisturbed.
If you think you are more matured than your husband, why not go to him and lovingly ask him why he's moody. I do such at all times. So long as it will bring peace to my home, I goes to my wife and apologize. I sees it as the responsibility that God has placed on me to make peace in my house. So I do it without thinking why should I be the one always apologizing weda I'm right or wrong.

Now you're complaining cos the whole thing is making u feel bad when you have the solution in your hands.
Do you think your husband is happy for not bn able to provide all his family needs. He'll be very volatile, hostile and easily pissed off. Your closeness and encouragement will be the only thing that will calm his nerves and make his love for you increase. Even that his calling by God will be restored.

Finally, I see that you're not even interested in your marriage. You're not even struggling to restore your marriage. Your last paragraph says much about this.
If you have money, you'll run away and abandon the marriage. To me, this shows that you're not working hard to restore your family, rather, you're finding peace externally. Your husband is sensing this and it's also making him mad about u.

Madam, I'll advice you to go back to your first love. Love your husband. Work hard to make him your friend and you'll see the finger of God in your home again.
Every relationship has its problem. Non is perfect, but the way you manage the imperfection is what makes you guys perfect.

JAMO84:
One cup of garri, this one cannot give people as palliative in this difficult time. All he does is to sit on Twitter insulting people from morning to night. A 55 year old who behave like a toddler.


I AM DONE TALKING

Everyone may not give money or food item as palliative.
He's doing his own by exposing wickedness of few to the entire humanity. We may not like him, but he may be right most times.

crestedaguiyi:
This is a battle between 2 under world powers.

While one is imported, the other is home grown.

Home grown will defeat the imported in this instance because indaboski can not travel out for fortification

In that case, he does not need any physical mode of traveling. He'll just enter his strong room, before you know it, he has gone and come back from India.

Kaymaxi2222:
Lol..... This is becoming interesting
I'm not sure this man is as educated as he claims.
He is just simply too power drunk to hold any leadership role not to talk of governing a state

Buhari is docile, quiet and inactive, ppl are complaining.

Wike is active and says it out as he wants and ppl are calling him a tyrant.

What do you ppl want?

You wanted to make call..
You used her phone.
You wanted to Google something..
You used her phone.

She provides airtime and data for you and you are still asking us the meaning of deleting her chats.

She does that to dat to free up space in her phone memory.

You wanted to make call..
You used her phone.
You wanted to Google something..
You used her phone.

She provides airtime and data for you and you are still asking us the meaning of deleting her chats.

She does that to dat to create space in her phone memory.

Darkerberry:
Will do asap bro, tnx

Nice guy.

Bull

Rasky

And this

More

setobaba:
Gist me on the method used to control them with the poo and pee stuff and how old were they when you start teaching them this ? Did you get a potty for them cos my place is all interlocked flooring and people say she’s too small to be beaten for the poo

Don't beat that dog now. What u need is patience and constant training. Beating her will create unnecessary fear in her and she may get aggressive.

Teach her "Stop", "Leave It" commands. She may not get it the first few days.

Don't use too many words to teach your dog a command. You may get her confused.

Watch when she wants to pee or poo. Tell her " Stop" and take her where you wants her to pee or poo.

After that, congratulate her by giving her a treat. Always buy a pack of dog treat to congratulate her whenever she behaves well.
If u do that, she will believe that peeing or pooing at that place will mean giving her a treat.

I did not buy potty for my dogs. I rather used blocks to make a circle, filled it with clean white sharp sand. That is where they pee and poo. And it's very easy to pack the poo.

See pic. (Just went to them now and commanded them to go and pee. You can see them doing it.)

They are so intelligent. Now they fully understand all my languages. They respond so accurately. They are 5 months old.

setobaba:
Good morning and thanks to you all
The good news I’ve gotten the Dog before these advices falls in. For now i only need tips on how maintain the dog and how to handle all the basic traning like sit, stand, where to poo and waterview.

Below is her recent picture

Use Google and YouTube. I learned a lot that way and I'm doing very well with my two dogs. Though I started reading a lot about owing a dog and training before I got mine.

My dogs can never poo or urinate anywhere outside the dedicated place even if you lock them up in the cage for many hours.
Dey can't eat food that is not in their plates. This is very important. If your dog starts eating food randomly, an enemy can poison a piece of meat, throw to your dog over the fence, and that will be the end

setobaba:
Wooooo! Thanks for the insight on this how do I detect a parvo virus on a dog ??

Vomit, Bloody stool.
The vomit must have one strong stench smell.
If there is no strong smell, it's not Parvo.
Once your dog gets in contact with Parvo, it will show within 3 to 5 days.
It can kill a dog within 10 days of contact.
Even after treating it. the virus can linger within the environment for over a year.
Not affected by either hot or cold weather.
Another dog can get it if it enters the compound even after your dog has recovered.

setobaba:
The question now is why can’t I have a dog with 75k salary as a single guy. I’m not planning to have a gf who will add to my expenses though

My brother, it's fine to own a dog, but u must be ready before making taking that decision.
There are many things involved.
Know it that your dog need medicals. Weda u have money or not, you must get its medicals or u may get into big trouble if the dog happens to bite anyone. You MUST give the 3 vaccinations and the Anti-Rabies vaccine which be from a total of N15,000 and above. This is exclusive of other medical issues that may crop up from time to time.

Your dog must eat. I said MUST. You may manage to go hungry yourself, but that should not be applied to the dog if you really want ur dog to look fine and be under ur control.

Have it in mind you are packing into ur new apartment of Self-Content. That is still a commercial building, not ur private house. Have u consider how other tenants will view u having dog around the compound. The first few weeks of you bringing the dog home will be hell. The dog will experience separation anxiety. It will cry shout, back and make all sorts of noise that ur co tenants will have issues with as they will lose sleep by the nuisance that dog will create for the first few weeks.
Also bear in mind that as the dog keep growing, it may start destroying ppl items like shoes, clothes and with lots of poo in the compound if you fail to train her very well.

Also know that once you get this dog, your movements will be limited. Ur dog will be like a little baby in the house. Are you sure you can cope with your job, coming home to feed her in the day time. Your puppy may need to be fed like 4 times per day.
Also know that you can no longer travel as u used to. U can't travel and leave her behind. Are you ready to make provision for who will take care of her wen u travel? Do you have enough money to pay for accommodation if you wish to leave her under the care of your vet doc. They charge like N1,000/night.

Your dog will need different types of food at different growing period. Can you conveniently afford it? Will ur job give you time to exercise your dog and socialize her for healthy growth. Do u have a good space in that compound to build the dog's house. Will the owner of the house allow that?

Bros, there are other things you need to consider before bringing in a dog to ur house.

Darkerberry:
Name is Barry.. 8 Months too playful

Please get a good collar belt for that dog. Don't use that chain around her neck like dat. It's not good.

The boy has a very strong spirit.
He will do exploit when grown.
I love his spirit.
If you can't do it for me....damn you...I will do it for myself.

......and nobody is asking why did they stripped those that were caught.
Have u seen that the system is almost universal?

Oga Sa-Gay, you are very correct.
Know it that it will be rare for an irresponsible, foolish and careless father to begat a whole lot of cool headed and responsible children.

Our stubbornness was transferred to us through you our leaders.
Are u surprised?

You're still a staff on probation. Your appointment has not bn fully confirmed.

Your right in the company is limited.
Don't expect that full salary.

Move on bro

noakchukibadan:
Hello,

Please no ethnic banters. One of us is from Ekiti, and the other is from Benue. I am married for 8 years with 2 kids. It has been one problem to another.

I must be very frank, before marriage, my wife had many very questionable characters, but unfortunately we did the marriage counseling in a church were the pastor happened to be her family member. Many of the issues would have been resolved, but when I raised those issues about her character the pastor promised me that everything will be fine after the marriage.
Although this is not an excuse, but looking back now I would have been more patient and taken my decision myself instead of rushing into the marriage. For this I HOLD MYSELF ACCOUNTABLE

There is hardly nothing we do not quarrel about, I have always been the one to initiate settlement. The only way I ensure that there is peace in the house is for me not to complain about anything. Even at that, there is always trouble. If the children do anything wrong, she always says those characters the children are exhibiting are not from her and that she is not surprised that they inherited such characters from me.

She can go for months without talking to me, even if I tried to, I have done all I could do, I have begged, cried prayed. I just feel tired and exhausted from trying to make the marriage work or have peace in the home, the sad part is that she often reminds me every time there is misunderstanding that I should remember that she can stay on her own without talking to any body. Just to add, she is very prayerful.

OTHER INFORMATION.
1. I can say conveniently that there is no money problem at home. Finance is okay.
2. I went to see her father 2 years ago, the man said unfortunately he can not do anything. This is true because she was raised away from her Father, she has no contact with any of her fathers family and her father has a zero say in her life.
3. she has 5 elders ones, non of them is in communication with her because of many unresolved issues. Of her 3 younger ones she only maintains a relationship with the last boy who is just 14 years. .
4. Her mum can not talk to her because she simply dares not. However, behind, her mother use to beg me and she kept saying she understands her daughter's character and that she is doing her best by praying and doing deliverance for her.
5. She is not in contact with her maternal uncles and aunt because she said they supported her elder ones when she had problem with them.

So I am stuck with no one to help call the both of us and resolve the issue.

Every year for 5 straight years, she always forgets my birthday, last year, she forgot also, three days later, she bought me a present and I refused to collect the present and I asked her why does she keep forgetting my birthday, year after year for 5 years. She just said sorry, but I left the present in the room, she never bothered to bring the present to me. Another birthday was gone yesterday 2nd May, and as I write, no happy birthday yet.

I literally cook for myself, and all domestic things I do for myself.

I will end this by saying that in fairness to her, her character was not too different before the marriage and courtship, sincerely only once, that was like one year before the marriage I broke up with her, she came to apologize and promised that she will change. Her mother also came to apologize to me also.

This woman has refused to change or allow peace to hold sway, she is right every time, while everybody around is wrong. Sincerely, I do not know what to do anymore.

I am tired and exhausted. I do not know what to do anymore. I am 42, I was diagnosed of high blood pressure 2 years ago.

Very simple situation with a very simple solution.

There's one thing your wife is holding you down with and she's capitalizing on that to deal with you.

Your dear wife knows that you love her so much and you can do anything to maintain peace in the house (I said house cos that's what u have now and not home). So this has made her not to struggle to build her love for u. She believes come rain, come shine, you're there for her.

What do you have to do?
You need to apply psychological torture.
Don't stop loving her. Don't beat her. I said, NEVER BEAT HER.
All you need to do is start behaving as if she doesn't exist. Do your things. Respond to her but without giving in much interest. If possible respond with few words or just Yes or No. No detail. Leaving her wondering and her heart wandering.

When she gets into ur nerves, never show her you're angry. It may not be so easy, but you need to beat her on her own game.

If at any time she tries to explain to you why she did dat which u don't like, tell.. "Oh... Honey, don't worry, I'm fine." Never allow her to say out what she wants to say. Let the anger of you not giving her ears torture her. Don't shout at her

As you're handling her this way, she'll start getting stupidly jealous. She'll believe that you've found someone outside that is making u happy. She'll start getting scared of losing you to that person. This will trigger her love for you. She'll start dropping some of her bad characters just to win your love and affection back.

Note: as you're doing this, please don't cheat on her, cos if she gets to know, she'll have more ground to become even worst.

The above solution may not be all that easy for you, but if you've bn able to discipline your heart well, you may not find it too hard.
I called this method Psychological Torture.

paulGrundy:
your scenario is false because the bank would not want to do anything that works against her interest of which one of them is to retain as much deposit as possible.

cases like these is usually the case of lone wolf e.g

1 An unscrupulous bank official conniving with fraudsters.
2 A hacker that has access to sensitive details of customers.

usually when perpetuators are caught, the bank wastes no time in dealing with them.

Oga your scenario is in an ideal state where bank will be very careful not to do anything that will jeopardize is trust and reputation. Here in this country, most banks don't give a damn so long as they have the big boys in the government behind them.

You said that most banks support their staff in openings fraudulent accounts to all those fraudsters with big money but will only advice you to be very "smart" in handling such risky and fraudulent transactions as the bank will deny the staff if regulatory bodies find out.

You also sited another scenario where the bank had to hire good lawyers to defend a woman staff of the bank involved in such shady deal that got revealed. You said that after the judgment that the woman was promoted.

Now can you tell me how a single bank that does this will not be comfortable to connive with Criminals to defraud her customers?

I still maintain my stand that you bankers (if you're not among them, fine) and your managements do connive with bad boys to defraud your customers. That's why most time customers meet stringent conditions with banks in trying to get details of who defrauded them.
Banks give unresearched POS to criminals which they use to rob ppl.

paulGrundy:
a fraudstar once approached me with a deak to help him open an account and manipulate the system for him in order to evade surveillance of monitoring agencies e.g EFCC. I would gain about 5 million for every 50 million he wired successful plus I would hit and surpass my target. It was very tempting as an ET fighting hard to be promoted to an ABO, but my conscience would not let me. after having sleepless night, I called him and politely turned down the offer.

Your conscience or the fear of bn caught by the regulatory bodies?

paulGrundy:
am not sure it is. just as exam malpractice is prevalent in secondary schools. so it is also prevalent in banking. many of my colleagues do it. its like an open secret. management implicitly indirectly encourages it because it helps them meet their liquidity drive.

one of my line managers used to say this:

bring any type of money to the bank from any source, we will accept it, but do it smartly and don't allow the regulatory authorities catch you, or we deny you!

To let you know how prevalent it is in banking, a colleague of mine was implicated in a fraud scheme busted by the FBI all the way from USA that made headlines last year. her crime was that she did not do due diligence when opening the fraudsters account. the bank hired the best lawyers and fought her case, indirectly protecting the interest of the fraudster. after the whole ordeal she was promoted instantly to a branch manager.

The same way back after connive with Criminals and fraudsters to defraud a customer and the bank will protect the identity of the fraudsters (internal and external)

Your can't give accurate answer to this cos the picture failed to provide the necessary information needed to answer the question.

1. Are all the vehicles trying to overtake at the same time.

2. Which of them was at the front and which one was trying to overtake.

Op how do you expect us to answer this without telling us the ones overtaking and the ones bn overtaken.

Your question would've make more sense if the picture was shown as a motion pic/video.

Every assumption made without providing the above information may be wrong.

crownwealth:
Wickedness

How's it wickedness. If you're a company owner, will you keep paying your staff salaries when they are at home for months and there's no income generation.

I'm a civil servant too. I've received memo to proceed on annual leave without pay. It's a better option than sack. I've another line of business which I was also running while working. This will also give me opportunity to give more attention to it.

I don't want to agree with you that the decision of the firm is an act of wickedness.

GOVERNOR NYESOM EZENWO WIKE LIVE BROADCAST ON COVID-19 UPDATE

(1). I can't go to Cross River state to carry rice for the people of Rivers state, you can't reduce my state to that level.

(2). For us in Rivers state, we are not hungry to the level of going to Cross River to get 1,800 bags of rice for Rivers people.

(3). And the rice the FG is talking about has expired, maybe the FG wants to kill Rivers people.

(4). We have set our own taskforce since FG has withdrawn their securities.

(5). Rice and garri contains carbohydrates, FG would have asked us what we need, and not telling me to go to Cross River to get just 1,800 bags of expired rice.

(6). Nigeria is a country where we have different rules for different persons and states.

(7). People who can't win election are the ones giving FG fake confidence. "I'm the only person who can fight that governor"

(. People in Rivers state should remove politics from the fight against COVID-19.

(9). Don't bring garri from somewhere and tell Rivers people to buy, because I will send you back to wherever you come from.

(10). How can the FG deduct money from my state without my concern. We are not in military regime. I'm not fighting the govt, but the right thing should be done.
You can't manipulate my state account to support Nigerian Police without my concern.

(11). In Nigeria, no one is ready to say anything because they are afraid that they will deny you of state support. I will challenge the FG in court. Whether I lose or not, but let it be known that I'm not one of those their good boys who are afraid to speak.
Like my friend Dino Melaye would always said, "If you speak the truth you die, if you don't speak the truth you die" I will rather prefer to face one judgment when I die not face judgment from any man now that I'm still alive.

(12). Cross River state Governor is their boy, but if I said so it will be interpreted that I'm challenging the FG.

(13). Cross river Governor is one of their good boys, so they won't see anything bad from the statement he said that NCDC will be quarantine.

(14). Because I requested that FG should give us our share, they now said I'm fighting the govt. Treat B the way you have treated A it becomes an offense. But we would continue to ask. Because my father said when you are sick and you refused to tell him, if anything happens, you should blame yourself because you didn't tell him.

*Compiled by ©Weetalknaija Blog*
*Jake Clifford*
— Wike on AIT today

Nelso2:
Saw a contact on her phone late last year, saved as aa1 and each time he wassup her it's either he calls her my friend or my love.

Confronted her but she denied, saying it's her customer that is owing her money. Been searching for the contact but couldn't find it again after then.

Recently, I searched on her phone while she was sleeping, went through her wassup again, saw a number saved as 3, had to checked on it, behold the profile picture is the same man. Funny part of it, each time she chat wit him, she deletes the chat at the end of it. Been mad since and about to confront.

The man in question is almost 54 and I am in late 30s.

Do you want to be seeing all she does with her WhatsApp and Facebook chats at all time and on realtime too without even touching her phone and you can access this remotely? If you want, you can screenshot her chats before she deletes them without touching her phone.

Contact me.