₦airaland Forum

Africa is not a place a woman can tell her husband that she cheated because he is cheating otherwise her load will be in her fathers house the next minute. Even her relatives will side the husband and treat her as a leper. That being said, she may want to reconsider her rights et al.

That's why I advocate that the man will have to confess his own wakabout first, if not she'd better not say a thang.

DeepZone:
What's this about "painful" sex with her husband? Why can't she talk it over with him and look for a solution as a couple?

Na that one me I wan know.
How come the husband"pains her" and the lover pleasures her
Is he XXXL ?

sistawoman:
No they should stop cheating but how fair is it to transfer your guilt and cause pain to someone you love just because you don't want to feel your guilt anymore?

In this particular case , however, the man is a more guilty party in the cheating game.
He'd better know how to handle the so called pain she may supposedly cause him.

KarmaMod:
You sound like a demented psycho/ Are all men the same? So because your cold father didnt cry about the death of his parents, everyone should look up to him as the standard of being a "man"

Abeg go and sleep

It's these so called "men" that can kill people in their sleep and sing "trust and obey" 20 mins later

ROFL
Trust and obey
for there's no other way

whoever said marriage was 50/50 is either a bloody liar or unmarried

sistawoman:
I once cheated on my first husband and paid the price for that with my ex-boyfriend whom i loved with all my heart. i can tell you thou that when my ex-boyfriend confessed to me altou i finally took him back something died in me for him after that we were never the same.

I guess you're suggesting they should then keep on sleeping with all manner of partners and keep mute so that that something doesn't die.
HIV may kill them before anything else dies

debo has sunken lower than mohadana

Hannibal:
I disagree with u.

Sexual compatibility is hinged on various factors. . . .
It's the same as seeing a total stranger and liking/disliking him. . . .You cannot control such chemistry.
There are some people u see and u just don't like the look of em.
What work am i supposed to put into a woman that won't enjoy SEX with me. . . . .ask her to pretend or what??

hannibal,everything get school nowadays.
There must be a school of sexual compatibility where they can learn skills and tools to help them

my sister na wa.
maybe she should have been wearing a burqua in the video
people sef

Orimili:
The whole sexual compatibility thing is just an excuse to lay with someone outside of marriage. I think any couple can be compatible as long as both parties involved are willing to put some work into it.

Word!

As though those who did, did and redid before marriage don't go outside?

rampant:
osisi d fact that she lost her virginity does not mean it happened just that once did it? except there is another definition of premarital sex,

osisi its obvious they were doing it,don't tell me d man just disvirgined her and never touched her again?

Who knows.
Afterall he's getting it somewhere else
didn't you read the fire brigade she called down after the act.
If you were the man will you attempt it again?

He did apologise though and even though i tried to stop the wedding he begged me and made the whole world beg me i was no longer interested but it was too late.

Hannibal:
Ohhhhh, so they had SEX just once before marriage?? What an effort??

I am talking about a dozen trials before wedding not just a scrappy and painful kizzack.
Sexual compatibility is a must otherwise i am going to me in-laws for a refund.
I won't be happy with a faulty commodity.   So either they replace or they refund me in CASH.

Idot!
you no well

jenny I don't think you can count her losing her virginity as similar to what Hannibal is saying.
It's not particularly an enjoyable act to most women.

Orimili:
@poster

Everyone here is giving you bad advice for something as big as that. You can try to take it to your grave, but it's not going to work. One way or another, both of you are going to know about the affair. It is going to be extremely disastrous for you if you allow him to find out about it from some other means than yourself. You have to tell him what happened.

Will he be angry? Yes, he will be, but not nearly as angry as he will be if he found out from his friends, or anyone else, including the guy that you had an affair with (yes, I have seen this happen). At least if you tell him, there is a chance that the both of you can work things out. If not, and he finds out, your marriage is over, as you didn't respect him enough to tell him. Not saying anything is equally as damaging to your marriage, as the both of you are going to grow very distant from each other as the guilt builds up.

You have a choice of either taking your hits now, or taking even harder hits later. There is no easy way out of this, and I suggest that you take the responsibilities or your actions. You made a mistake, and your marriage is on the line. You have to fix it.

Hannibal:
This is why i think pre-marital sex is very necessary!!
Whats the point in keeping a wife that ain't sex compatible after spending millions on a grand wedding.

If they had subjected themselves to various trials, these problem would have been exposed before marriage. . . . .
Now, a well-brought up girl has been reduced to a cheating tart all because she didn't do the right thing at the right time.
Ladies. . . . . . .Food for THUNK!!!!

The man obviously must have had tons of premarital sex and now is unto extramarital sex.
Sure say that your theory dey correct so

The Sly:
Pray for me abeg!

2 white goats
a red fowl
3 bottles of fanta
12 candles
Plus a cash offering of $50,000 only

meet me at Okija

Hannibal:
Whats the point in confessing something as HUGE as this??
Telling/not telling her husband will not stop the cheating IF their bedroom activities don't improve.
So they should just accept their fate as intimate strangers!!!

Unless they want to sentence themselves to a life with "other bed fellows" otherwise they ought to give the marriage a chance at healing and it starts with honesty.
If not, they should just go their separate ways.

onyiidon:
My hubby calls me "Babygirl" while i Call him " The Don" because his name is Donatus

Tufiakwa!
are parents still giving their kids that name?

_{polycarp and hygienus nko?}

Siena:
So, Rampant's not Ms Kadry?

says who?

KarmaMod:
This is why Nigeria is the way it is.

Things you people should "copy" you wont copy. When it comes to idiotic things of the west, that's when you will all jump on the wagon

Pitiful

Like saying wann'a gonn'a and calling water wora.

_{had to use the apostrophe because of the stupid filter}

The Sly:
You would never catch me dead spewin' some sorta advises in threads like this no more. . . . . .
Do what u gotta do. . . . . . . . . .and Good luck.

after giving people advice that turned catastrophic,now you're no longer talking.
They'll soon come after you _{in the spirit realm}

Hannibal:
What if the husband denies the accusation??
Are u sure the voice message hasn't been deleted?

She has to have concrete, solid  proof beyond a voicemail message that may no longer be there.
If he doesn't admit it,I won't be saying mine but before I get him to talk about it,I'll have an air tight proof.

Okija_juju:
I have, and I wouldnt want to ever know.
Dont tell me.
Some thing are better left untold.

If that woman doesn't come clean, she's more likely to do it again and again and again.
Afterall she's already used to keeping secrets.
And we'retalking of a woman who claims her husband doesn't particularly rock her world in the bedroom.
Obviously they both are missing something.
There's no spark sexually between them.
It's just a matter of time and she'll be looking for her  sexy Dauda again.
They ought to come clean and seek ways to enjoy each other.
The man still thinks his affair is a secret so he's happily tangoing with a LovePeddler on the side thinking the wife doesn't know.

KarmaMod:
If the husband can keep such a secret, why can't she osisi?

Men?
Don't mind them
The wife here has a powerful weapon which she needs to use.
She knows he's cheating too so they both need to tell each other the truth.

rampant:
my own opinion too,how can she live wt d man when she's harbourung this kind of secret,let her talk abeg and free herself,if not her conscience will judge her till she finally lands in her grave

Most people on nairaland are unmarried so they look at this and similar topic with the eyes of a cheating boyfriend or girlfriend and think it's as simple as that when a life long commitment is at stake.
What kind of wife will I be if I harbour this type of debilitating secret when a marriage is supposed to be built on a foundation of trust.
They both ought to come clean and she needs him to also confront the demons of his womanizing ways.
This type of deep secrets can precipitate High blood presssure if care is not taken.
She'll also be a very unhappy woman

Okija_juju:
@ Poster

Take this little secret with you to your grave.
Maybe you can tell him when both of you are prolly 90.
Shit happens.

That marriage will be filled with secrets after secrets.
Put yourself in that man's shoes.
He also cheats and she cheated once.
They ought to come clean to each other and then start afresh to build a loving relationship if not,this act could haunt her forever and the other man may not be keeping it a secret and she and her husband may hear of it someday.

na wa o
all these cheating people on nairaland and their advisers.

Well my advise will be to confront him about that voice mail from his mistress and gather all evidence needed to prove your point and after he admits it, you release your own bomb shell so you can both start the healing process.
I believe in honesty,without that,the marriage is just a sham.

_{my opinion}

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1Vvk4P4CtY&feature=related

I actually spent time watching the "onwu ike abughi my portion" song where fresh B alleges the man almost grabbed the wife's boobs.
I didn't see anything that even comes close.
I saw him touch her face, unless she has her breasts on her face

fresh-B:
Please do compare and contrast how lovely her "My Redeemer Liveth" in Nkwa praise part 1D in you-tube when she used to sing alone from the inside of her belly and the following ones where she picked her man; as captioned in you-tube " Idi Ebube Jehovah" (where there was serious smooches), "Onwu Ike Abughi My Portion" (where they husband nearly grabbed her boobs) and "Egwu Chukwu N'atu m"

Remember we arent talkin about Christina Aguilera. And we arent talkin about sin but about what mood youre helping worshippers create in God's Presence

My dear no now?
haba
where did you see these smoochings and grabbings.
I have that VCD in my home and we watch it very often and all I see is a man who adores his wife.
Are we watching the same video?

Freewilly:
I just ordered the book on Amazon, it better be worth it or the poster of this thread will answer to my temper

Wow freewilly this na your eyes?

Chineke forbid bad thing.
Oh jenny bu zi Rampant?
This boy nwe this place di iberibe
o di ka obu onye gay

prince_onx:
If you send a so call "THANK YOU" message, text, mail after a job interview, what will you send if you ever get the job? I guess a GOAT! pleeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

If you want to or feel like you have to, do it right there right then after the interview before you leave! simply say " thank you very much for giving me the opportunity to interview with you or your company and I look forward to contributing to the growth or progress of this company" shikina! _{don't even look back when you walk not to talk of sending a thank you shit!}
If the interviewer believe you don't have shit to offer the company, a box of thank you card won't do crap not to talk of sending a text msg! send your phone sef if u want! nothing for you!

This is hilarious.
I no go die!