₦airaland Forum

An old man and his wife have gone to bed. After laying there a few minutes the old man farts and says,"Seven Points." His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?" The old man replied, "It's fart football."

A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says, "Touchdown, tie score." After about five minutes the old man farts again and says, "Touchdown, I'm ahead 14 to 7."

Not to be out done the wife rips another one and say, "Touchdown, tie score." Five seconds go by and she lets out a squeaker and says,"Fieldgoal, I lead 17 to 14."

Now the pressure's on and the old man refuses to get beat by a woman so he strains really hard but to no avail. Realizing a defeat is totally unacceptable he gives it everything he has but instead of farting he soils the bed.

The wife looks and says, "What the heck was that?"

The old man replied, "Half-time, Switch sides".

Awwww. . . I'm so sorry sweety. Don't worry, come to mama. I'll cheer you up. Come lay your head on my bossom you poor thing.

RuuDie:
Guess we can safely say its curtains to the prem title. . . . in all candidness, i don't think we'll ever be able play catch-up all season long and still win this one, expecially with Chelski firing on all cylinders !

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Finally a sensible scummite!

Ruudie, you've always had my respect. I love you.

Nateevs, you know what makes me so happy?  Let me tell you -

It's the fact that Ronaldo would miss 3 matches(or more ).

Listen up, It was Ronaldo that helped them win the PREM last season and go far in the C/L. If Ronaldo has a bad day, manure if f'ucked!

Now imagine them without Ronaldo and Rooney. Who's supposed to fill the huge gap Ronaldo would leave? Nani?

And they're playing City next. City that's fired up after her first two victories. City with the new Coach(Erikson) who is trying to prove a point.

The future just looks too bleak for scum at the moment.

At the moment, the PREM looks blue, with Manchester City, Chelsea and Everton leading the table.

Keep the faith. The future is blue!

Somze, why don't you just come clean and confess to being a manure fan, and save us all your theatrics?

Is it you that's been licking Jackal's balls or is it Jackal that's been Licking your balls?

Damn!

This is the same Reading that manscum couldn't beat at Old Trafford even when they were playing with ten men!

Chelsea beat this same team without our two major Center backs and in horrendous weather conditions!

The era of manscum is definitely over!

You guys are F'ucked!

Wait a minute!

I'm just hearing that it was a headbutt that got Ronaldo sent off!

I hope the FA suspends him for two months!

Boy o boy!

The gods of manure have deserted them.

You guys should sack faggotson. He's getting too old and running out of ideas. See what Mourinho did today. He had just one centre back on the field and he made some brilliant changes that helped us win the game. That guy is a tactical genius.

You guys should beg us to borrow you Mourinho for a few games.

Oh ma dayzzzzzzzzzzz. . . What a day!

Wait a minute!

I'm just hearing that Ronaldo would miss 3 matches!

This just keeps getting better and better!

Ronaldo got a red card!!

Oh my God!!!

My day can't possibly get any better, can it?

That means Ronaldo boy would miss their next match!  What an icing on the cake!

Thank You God!

Bu haaaa haaa haaa haaa haaaa   

What happened?

I told you all I'm a winch!

As soon as I started watching the match, things started happening.

Well, don't blame me, it's God's power working.

So much for the fantastic four.

So much for Donkey(Tevez), Nani, Hargreaves and Anderson.

Who is manure playing next? You guys would lose your next match.

Let me see how you would win the PREM now.

Oh men. . . I'm so happy right now. Another day of unbelievable events.

Jose Mourinho should be given an award for manager of the century. See what his brilliant substitutions did.

That guy is just too much!

He is the best thing that ever happened to Chelsea!

God bless Chelsea!

Bleep manscum.

Congrats Muki.

I say amen to that.

Their game is almost over. It would stay like this in Jesus name.

So much for Tevez.

Congratulations Mukina on your goal. My prayers are working for you o.

Manure would draw or lose again today in Jesus name.

Amen!

Thank You Jesus!

Our enemies would be disgraced tonight in Jesus name!!

More more goals!!

Let me get back into my prayer room.

Haaaa God bless Lampard and Drogba!!

See class!

[size=16pt]Halleluyah!!!

God loves me too much sha!!

We don score again o!!!!

Haaa God please give us more and more goals in Jesus name![/size]


Let me get back on my knees.

Halleluyah!!!

God is answering my prayer!

We've scored!!!

Thank you Jesus!

Let me get back on my knees and pray for more goals!

Haaaaa finally some good news.

Portmouth has equalised. Who scored their goal?

Chineke! Mukina, I'm in a bad mood now o. Do you know we ain't watching the bloody match in Lagos. HITV isn't showing it and DSTV too isn't showing it.

I'm getting the commentaries from BBC and there's no good news there also.

I'm so pissed off right now!

Ferreira in Defence!

Mukina, you're funny sha. Are you serious? That small pikin, that just started crawling yesterday told gay to f*uck off?

@Muki

For how many hours would the flight last? I think it would be too late by the time I get there. Besides, I don't w'anna sleep in no damn hotel. I want to share your bed when I get there.

Mukina, when Ruudie starts beating you, I no go interfere o.   I no get power o.   You dey find wahala now.

Rio's own is small. What of Ronaldo that took a shot at goal but the shot hit Giggs in the groin, dislocating his ding dong?

@Muki

No problem. Just show me any flight that would land in Gambia in one and a half hours from now and I'll pack my bags asap.

I hope you're serious about the first class hotel treatment, c'os I'm in love with jacuzzis o.

No mind V.
As for the match. No problem, as long as you can ship your house from Gambia to Nigeria within the next two hours.

This DSTV nonsense d'ey annoy me o.    I've got plans sha.

Haaa. . . that one is small. The look on gay's face after tonight's defeat would crash your system.

mukina2:
Razorr i forgot to add that ferdinand wil lbe red carded and scummies wil lhave 6 yellow cards

Yea yea yea. . . I saw it too. That yeye Rio elbowed my darling Utaka out of frustration.

RuuDie:
@razorr,

no mind am jare. . . so when we dey go watch the ball na ?

I d'ey wait for you na.

mukina2:
Razorr come to my house you can watch the matches live

Mukina, I really wish I could come o. DSTV d'ey mess up big time.

mukina2:
i think Ronaldo, Tevez and Van der saar

Yea, those three boys would recieve long term injuries. Let me contact my fellow witches. I'll be right back.

mukina2:
this una love na die

What are you jealous?

Chei!

See this woman o. You've started seeing visions abi?

I have a good feeling that at least 3 of their best players would be injured tonight.   Triple calamity.

My prediction for tonight's game. Portsmouth 1 Manure 0

Anyone agree?

I also predict that Tevez would be injured. No call me winch o.