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Rhesusmonkey's Posts

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Jobs/Vacancies / Re: What One Employee Taught Me About Hiring by Rhesusmonkey(m): 9:40am On Jun 05, 2021
Ask our presido about hiring, he prefers stupidity over competence, he is the type tgat will hire a taxi driver to fly a jet so far as he is loyal, and you all can see how wonderful the country is..

27 Likes 1 Share

Politics / Re: Nigerian Army Debunks Report On Distribution Of Ramadan Packages By Boko Haram by Rhesusmonkey(m): 5:25pm On May 13, 2021
KingZaddy:
...


Boko Haram distributed package?
Abeg whoever cast that news no sabi lie...

Everyone fears Boko and they know it, except they shared the package amongst themselves...


By the way, the government is deliberately living Boko Haram alive because all it takes to end Boko Haram is just one or two air strikes in their base...

Go and watch the video clip when boko boys released some dapchi girls and see how the indigenes were cheering and hailing them, then come back and edit your comment about everyone fearing Bokoharam.
NA are the ones lying here, but one day, water go pass garri and these boko guys might have conquered more territories than we can imagine and even bringing the fight to our door steps

5 Likes

Politics / Re: Satire: 7200 Joysticks Found In Ship From Nigeria, Seized In China - Fact Check by Rhesusmonkey(m): 9:41pm On Apr 15, 2021
Tolexander:
FFK is so foolish thathe could score a brace of Bianca Onoh and Precious Chikwendu

Oga I expected you to be way smarter than this..
The fool you quoted is one of the agents of division in this nation. I dont want to go tribal but if you had checked well, you would have known that he is a fulani guy.

Family / Re: “I Can Never Support My Husband With House Rent, It’s His Responsibility” – Lady by Rhesusmonkey(m): 6:11am On Apr 10, 2021
Romanoff:
Imagine being asked to pack out of a house whose rent you're contributing to.

Wisdom Wisdom Wisdom.

Which stupid wisdom, why is it that ladies of this generation always planning the end before even starting the marriage, see the kind thing you dey imagine, kwantinu
If you are marrying to a guy and be hoping to be chased out somebody, then why not remain in your Father's house or become a baby mama. Some of you dont just know what marriage is all about
Politics / Re: SERAP Sues Buhari Over "Missing ₦3.8 Billion Health Funds" by Rhesusmonkey(m): 11:28am On Apr 04, 2021
Who else noticed that this SERAP is as useless as the P in the word "psychology" always suing and issuing ultimatums all the time yet nothing to show for it........

2 Likes

Sports / Re: Rashford Is Now The World's Most Valuable Footballer At £149 Million by Rhesusmonkey(m): 2:28pm On Jan 06, 2021
English media and their way of overhyping English footballers. If Son Heung min was an English guy doing all these exploits, we for never hear word till now. I remember some time in a world cup qualifier where Theo Walcot scored hatrick against croatia or so, we no hear word till they use hyping kill the young lad career.

83 Likes 4 Shares

Politics / Re: Osinbajo Briefs Buhari On Economic Sustainability Plan (Photos) by Rhesusmonkey(m): 3:21pm On Jan 05, 2021
Thank you our darling Zaddy for always giving listening ears to every one despite his ear problems, and for striving hard to make one naira to $1 despite how far the national enemies have gone in making $1 dollar to 470 naira.
We will keep trusting you till we are tired of being senseless.

4 Likes

Politics / Re: NERC: No Approval Has Been Given For 50% Electricity Tariff Increase by Rhesusmonkey(m): 3:03pm On Jan 05, 2021
Thank you Mr President, our precious darling daddy for being considerate and always being there for we the masses, So passionate about the masses just like his cows. I now enjoy 20 hours light daily for far lesser amount. I just cant imagine how this country would have been without you.
Even if the tariff is increased by 100%, I will still vote you again and again unless i chose to have sense.

6 Likes 1 Share

Romance / Re: I Told My Wife That The Dna Result Of Our Kids Will Be Ready Tomorrow. See What by Rhesusmonkey(m): 2:50pm On Jan 05, 2021
kingeze88:
I'm married with 2 kids, a boy, and a girl but I trust my wife that is why I have never thought of anything like a DNA test, I didn't do the blood group of my kids to know if they carried my blood group because I know my wife will never bring another man's kids for me. My wife do tell me what's happening at her office, how some of her colleagues are dating their bosses in the office.





When I saw DNA trending on Twitter, I clicked on it where I read the sad news of Mr. Tunde Thomas who died after he discovered that the two kids he thought he was their biological father belong to his Wife's boss, Mr. Adam Nuru of FCMB Bank.

I couldn't sleep that night, I concluded that the next for me is to do the DNA test for my two kids to confirm that I'm their biological father.

Immediately my wife left Home today, thank God schools have closed till further notice, I took my kids to our family hospital to run a DNA test, and the Doctor told me the results will be ready tomorrow.



When my wife arrived this evening, I told her that, the DNA results of our kids will be ready tomorrow.




My wife told me that immediately I bring the results home tomorrow and the results confirmed that I'm their biological father, she will leave my house immediately.

Please, Should I tell her I'm just joking or wait for the DNA result





Linus Mba Mohamed. You did the test this morning and your wife already returned home this evening by 2pm. Some niggas are too daft to be smart.

236 Likes 9 Shares

Religion / Re: A Fulani Christian Shares His Challenges After Accepting Christ by Rhesusmonkey(m): 10:04pm On Jan 03, 2021
Those of you applauding the OP, if it were to be the other way round, would you have believed the story?? Just asking though, but one thing is sure.. Religion in Nigeria makes people keep their brains in sleeping mode.

2 Likes

Politics / Re: Victor Mbarika, A Lecturer Of ICIT Carolina University Forged Letter For Ganduje by Rhesusmonkey(m): 7:24am On Dec 05, 2020
Funny

Food / Re: See The Bush Meat I Killed In My Compound by Rhesusmonkey(m): 4:56pm On Nov 21, 2020
Nawa ooo, all this onions on to this small rat, bros onions no cost reach your end?
Education / Re: Only First Class & 2:1 Graduates Will Be Employed As Teachers - FG by Rhesusmonkey(m): 9:07am On Nov 15, 2020
excel101:
My bro, the renumeration would determine that.

Remuneration, not renumeration.
No offence, just thank me later.
Events / Re: Please Help!! Can 500K Be Enough To Plan A Wedding? by Rhesusmonkey(m): 4:44pm On Aug 23, 2020
Horlarosebikan:

if you're in Lagos go to trade faire, ask for GL you will see ring there but not original gold, God will bless your union
What of in a place like Alaba international??
Politics / Re: Ngige: Monarch Armed With Pistol Intervened When I Was Kidnapped As A Governor by Rhesusmonkey(m): 2:36pm On Aug 17, 2020
Short man Chris Uba trying to kidnap another short man Chris Ngige.
The Igwe Mbaukwu, my type of niggar, and a one time Julius Berger board member.
No wonder Ngige built the road from Awka through Mbaukwu.

28 Likes 2 Shares

Politics / Re: Asari Dokubo: ₦81 Billion Theft At NDDC Is Mere Pickpocketing by Rhesusmonkey(m): 6:55am On Jul 27, 2020
Confused overfed pig, so we should applaud pick pockets and pat them on the back because they are from southern Nigeria. How will Nigeria ever get it right with this mindset, encouraging and exonerating a thief cos he is from your region.

1 Like

Celebrities / Re: Actress Angela Okorie Gets Engaged (Photos) by Rhesusmonkey(m): 9:24pm On Jul 25, 2020
Last pix looks like phyno for face, tho head looks like that of young6

6 Likes

Politics / Re: What Ize-Iyamu Said About Oshiomhole In 2016 Will Shock You (Video) by Rhesusmonkey(m): 1:46pm On Jul 25, 2020
Erudite202:
Another billboard top movie this week...��

In this era of digitalisation, one ought to be careful of what he/she says or does. Oshiomole and Ize Iyamu are now caught in their own web.
Even with all these, dont be surprised if he wins, cos politics in Nigeria is mostly upside down
Politics / Re: Mai Mala Buni: Dogara’s Return To APC Excites Buhari by Rhesusmonkey(m): 7:48am On Jul 25, 2020
Lol, he was so shocked that he got excited.
For the idiots killing themselves for pdp and apc, I pray for mighty sense to fall on you guys speedily before its too late.
Romance / Re: A Friend Lost 1M To Sport Betting And He Has Been Acting Strange Since Then(pics by Rhesusmonkey(m): 7:40am On Jul 25, 2020
candyguyofficia:
Because of #270, 000 gain he lost #1, 000,000. If only he had used the money for business or if he was that lazy he would have just deposited the money as fixed deposit in the bank atleast the money will appreciate in value before he think what to use the money for.

Common sense is not common.
Or even invesr with MBA forex,
TV/Movies / Re: BBNaija: Lai Mohammed Orders NBC To Stop BBN Over COVID-19 – The Cable by Rhesusmonkey(m): 5:12am On Jul 25, 2020
If true, then its the best thing Lai Mohamed has done since his life time, and a commendable one I must say.

18 Likes

Politics / Re: Tribute To Tolulope Arotile, By Goodluck Jonathan by Rhesusmonkey(m): 10:21am On Jul 24, 2020
Lalasticlala, snakes are going into extinction

1 Like

Politics / Tribute To Tolulope Arotile, By Goodluck Jonathan by Rhesusmonkey(m): 9:44am On Jul 24, 2020
My heart goes out to the family and colleagues of late flying officer, Tolulope Arotile.

She was a brave patriot who pushed her self beyond limits to demonstrate her uncommon love for our dear nation. In the process, she made us all proud.

In 2011 when my administration introduced females into the Nigeria Defence Academy to train as combatants, for the first time, it was to give equal opportunities to all men and women of the armed forces and encourage highly driven female officers like Tolulope to excel in her chosen career, irrespective of their gender.

I feel sad that such a young gallant officer would die at the prime of her life. I am however encouraged by the fact that she stood out as a pleasing fulfilment of our dream of an all-embracing Nigeria armed forces devoid of discrimination.

By dedicating her young life to protect and defend Nigeria's strength, honour and unity, her memory and legacy will continue to serve as a great inspiration to our youth especially our girls.

May God grant her soul eternal rest.

Signed
Goodluck Ebele Jonathan
Former President of Federal Republic of Nigeria


https://www.facebook.com/105479482835768/posts/3338412159542468/

56 Likes 3 Shares

Travel / Re: Sanwo-olu Approves Bus Fare Increase By 46 Per Cent by Rhesusmonkey(m): 2:04pm On Jul 21, 2020
Slawormir:
Damnnnnn niggarrr
Isoright




Ogbeni must government subsidies every fuckkking areas of our life

We nor just want pay for anything for this country
Story, the ones that have been paying, what did they get.
I once worked in a firm where my tax was above 60k( which is more than 8 Level10 tax deductions in civil service), so lets assume i have been paying for 8 persons out there who aint paying tax to govt, yet we provide ourselves light, road, water, security by paying vigilante groups, etc and still being opprressed by the same govt

2 Likes

Career / Re: Babs Omotowa: The Public School Teacher Who Became CEO Of NLNG by Rhesusmonkey(m): 4:02pm On Jul 20, 2020
EmekaBlue:
It is not all these ones u r saying.

If God have appointed u will be the CEO
if you like be a gateman man b4

One of the highest fallacies so far.
Go and fold your legs and be sleeping from morning till night as an already appointed CEO from God.
Nairaland / General / Re: Z-600, Buried Dreams: Engr Dr. Ezekiel Izuogu Is Dead. by Rhesusmonkey(m): 9:47pm On Jul 18, 2020
Lalasticlala, do i need to add snake to make it front page worthy??

Of a truth, the country Nigeria has killed many dreams
Nairaland / General / Z-600, Buried Dreams: Engr Dr. Ezekiel Izuogu Is Dead. by Rhesusmonkey(m): 9:43pm On Jul 18, 2020
Z-600: Buried Dreams: Engr Ezekiel Izuogu is dead

A very known, respected and renowned Scientist and Inventor, Engr.Dr.Ezekiel Izuogu, from Ideato North LGA of Imo State is dead.

According to family sources, African foremost Car inventor and manufacturer died early today, July 18th, 2020.

In 1997, a brilliant Igbo Electrical Engineer and Lecturer at the Federal polytechnic Nekede, Dr. Ezekiel Izuogu designed and developed the Izuogu Z-600, the first African indigenous manufactured car.

The car was described by the BBC as ‘ the African dream machine as 90% of its parts were sourced locally. At a projected sales cost of 2000 dollars, it would have taken the world by storm and become the cheapest and most affordable car on earth. With mass production planned under Izogu Motors plant in Naze owerri, the prospects of an industrial revolution in Igbo land and Nigeria, was in the making.

The car was equipped with a self made 1.8L four cylinder engine that got 18mpg and allowed the car to achieve a top speed of 140 km/h. Front Wheel Drive (FWD) was chosen over Rear Wheel Drive (RWD) because a transmission tunnel, which RWD would require, would be more expensive to fabricate.

So 90% of the car’s components were made locally. General Sani Abacha set up a 12 man panel of inquiry made up of professionals to ascertain the road worthiness and authenticity of the car and after several days of probing, the committee gave Dr. Izuogu’s car a clean bill of health, recommending that some of the bumps on the body of the car be smoothened. It is worthy to note that this was five years before India built their first car known as the Indi.

At a well organized unveiling ceremony which had General Abacha represented by Oladipo Diya, over 20 foreign ambassadors and thousands of people in attendance, the federal government promised a grant of 235 million naira to Dr. Izuogu.

An excited Dr. Izuogu is still waiting for that grant till today. No dime was released to him. In 2006, the government of South Africa invited Dr. Izuogu to do a presentation about the car in the presence of several world class engineers. Being impressed with his presentation, they invited him to come and set up a plant in South Africa and begin the production of the car.

Dr. Izuogu reluctantly agreed, though he wasn’t happy that the benefits of employment generation will be lost on the locals of Naze and the Nigerian human resources environment. On Saturday, the 11th of March 2006, at about 2.00 a.m, a total of about 12 heavily armed men broke into Dr. Izogu’s factory in Naze and carted away various machines and tools including the design history notebook of Z-600, the design file Z-MASS, containing the design history for mass production of Z-600 car, and the moulds for various parts of the car.

According to Dr. Izuogu:

“It seems that the target of this robbery is to stop the efforts we are making to mass-produce the first ever locally made car in Africa. Other items stolen included locally produced timing wheel, locally produced camshaft, locally produced crankshaft, locally produced engine tappets, all 20 pieces each

Also stolen were ten pieces of locally produced Z-600 engine blocks, ten pieces of locally produced pistons, four pieces of engine block mounds, four pieces of top engine block moulds, ten pieces of engine fly wheel and two pieces each of rear car and front mudguard moulds.”The inventor regretted that not only did they lose over one N1 billion in monetary terms, but also time (about 10 years) and the energy it took to design and produce the moulds. “To worsen the matter, our design notebook was also stolen,” he stated.

He regarded the incident as a national economic disaster because the nation had lost a technological and intellectual property. This Press was quiet about this story. The set back and governments attitude frustrated Izuogu and his dream died.

Crime / Re: Man Beheads Colleague After Seeing His N13m Account Balance by Rhesusmonkey(m): 9:09pm On Jul 17, 2020
Factshunter:


Alright. cool
I know the angle you are going which i cant go so low with you but my question is..
Does it mean all these tribal warlords on nairaland don't read, are you guys this daft that you can't just read a simple write up??
Check all their comments and you will know that none of them even read more than a line of the write up,
Leaders of tomorrow with empty dusty brains.

I give up!!!!

2 Likes

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