₦airaland Forum

Opanka44:
Let me go straight to the Point.

I'm dating my Boss's younger sister who happens to be the last born from a polygamous Background. We've known for almost two years. She claims to love me so deeply and she knows I also love her in return.
In December last year, I saw a chat on her WhatsApp. A chat with her acclaimed ex-Boyfriend. Before I saw the chat, I had been complaining about the constant communication between her and same ex because each time I checked her call log, I would see same guys calls everyday. So when I saw dis chat, I told her that I had broken up with her. I made it clear to her that, it would be an act akin & tantamount to stupidity if she's multi-Dating while I'm loyal to her and her alone. I can't share u with anyone. She begged, cried , knelt down and apologized. I was so scared that day because she almost died in my apartment. She has a health condition (A Hole in the Heart) and whenever her mood is affected, it triggers a negative response. It's a very sad medical condition. And doctors have told her that she can die at any time. But I've always encouraged her that there's nothing God cannot change and there was no point getting worried about the situation. I went further to tell her that, in Life everybody is a walking corpse. We'll all die at some point in our lives, it is only the date of our death that we don't know. I forgave her that day and we reconciled.
The main issue now is that, I have introduced this same girl to almost everybody cos I'm so proud of her even though she still behaves like the last child that she is. My neighbors, friends & few family members. This girl said we can get married and build our lives together and even if it's garri, we'll drink and keep pushing. However, her attitude and actions seems to be in direct contrast to her words. She has never introduced me to anyone as her guy. She also works in her elder sister school. We both work in same sch. Our colleagues are aware of our relationship. So I told her that we are adults and whatever we are doing should be made know to her elder sister who she is currently living with. I asked that she tells her sister about our relationship since her sister is the one to approve or disprove it. I have a very good working relationship with her elder sister who is my Boss and the elder sister had jokingly told me last year to hurry up and pay her sister's Bride Price and that "Any devil that will stop me from paying her sister's bride price is a Bastard". We just laughed over it.
This girl has refused to inform her sister about us, she has never introduced me to anybody. When she comes to see me at my house, I can't walk her to the road cos she said she doesn't want her sister's Husband to accidentally drive pass and see that she visits me.
She hasn't allowed me to have sex with her. She claimed to be a virgin and that I must wait till our wedding night. I make her happy in bed, I give her head, suck her pussy, suck her breasts so well but she can't do same to me. At the end of the whole thing I won't be able to cum and my scrotum will start paining me due to excessive accumulation of Semen. What she does is to tighten her both legs & ask me to climb her and use my dick to rub her clitt so I can release. But I don't release at all. I also doubt if she's a virgin cos she can't allow me to penetrate and verify her claim. She is 28 and I'm 33yrs. I noticed she masturbates a lot cos any time she comes, she always want me to use my fingers on her clitoris and ensure she cums. I do everything she wants but she can't reciprocate. I'm fed up with everything. I cannot boldly beat my chest and say she's my girlfriend and she hasn't ever told any of her friends about me. I'm handsome and well-educated, neat, honest and have almost all the attributes she wants in her man. So why is she not Proud of me??
I have decided to break up with her and I've warned her never to come beg me or go to my friend's to tell them to mediate between us pls. I'm too good to be in such terrible state.
The psychological impact alone is really very Terrible. She makes me feel less of a man.

First off - that was a lot . A lot to unburden.

There are many signs here which indicate that your relation isn’t healthy and that she is selfish.

For someone not to introduce you as her boyfriend means she is ashamed of you and likely holding out for somebody else. YOU ARE NOT THE MAIN GUY. No matter what comes out of her mouth - her actions betray her words.

At this stage even if you go to the elder Sister and explain “ your relationship “ and she forces her sister be on board - that other person will always be in the shadow.

Her behaviour is what used to happen in one’s teens when you are testing the water not at a matured age of 25+ .

She also appears to be seeking a bad boy type . Someone who will take charge and rough her up a bit - which is not you ! You are decent , kind and long suffering .

My verdict - Toss her away, do not pass go , do not collect N2000. Friendzone her. And move on. I have no crystal ball but you are NOT THE RIGHT FIT.

garriAndsugar:
Things dey really happen for this nairaland

Lol 😂. You mean in peoples life. At least there’s a forum for people to unburden

Reminderz:
that's what turns her on.. why are you sounding like a novice?? If you don't like it, tell her na.. I don't know how you're built but if you are well built with all the chest muscles and biceps, they love pressing and nibbling them..

Don’t mind him joor… he’s either a novice or selfish

goodness4ever:
Hello everyone. I'll go straight to the point. I just hit it off with this lady a couple of months ago.

Things have been great, but I observed that during intimate times together, she's fond of teasing and sucking my nipples.

I am a guy and that's what I like to do to babes. How come she likes to do the same thing? Could she be a lesbian or bisexual?

I need honest opinions. Thanks.

Okay - as a person who’s experienced this many times . This is my summation.

It’s meant to help you to cum quickly. Same as when she is rubbing your balls. It is also pleasant I find. Warm mouth on my nipples … in the heat of the moment … I will just explode in her.

Get your mind out of the gutter and just enjoy the experience.

Ayodeoba:
Hello Nairaland, pls I seek for your opinions about this isssue affecting our marriage life.
We re young couple, we just got married.
My wife had always been shouting of pain whenever we re having sex, I believe sex is meant to be enjoyed btw two party.
Any one with remedies or medication to use. Kindly help

lol
1. You never mentioned if she enjoyed sex prior to marriage. So I’ll assume she did .
2. If she’s complaining of pain then it’s likely two things
A . Vagina tear - if she’s not properly lubricated and you penetrate it will hurt. This can be resolved by both of you using cocoa butter or going to chemist and getting lubricant.

Also avoid jamming your rod start , where are you rushing to .? …..start with a slow rhythm and then faster. Also let her know in advance that you’d be expecting some action so she can prepare herself mentally for later.

B . If she’s complaining all the time - you have what I call “ the marriage effect “ issue which affects most couples.

Wizpa:
Obasanjo ruled 8 years Nigeria was moving well

Yaradua ruled, Nigeria was growing steadily.

Jonathan ruled six and half years Nigeria was faring well.

Buhari came, Nigeria went into coma. The useless cow herder destroyed the country to the ground for 8 years.

Then came emilokon the drug sniffing vagabond who spent just three months and the nation Nigeria was buried.

When I open my mouth people say otherwise.
It’s a regression . Other nations progress we are going backwards.
From 1984 when dolllar was 1:1.
All through IBB to Abacha. Civilians come and everything gone awry.
Things will not get better history shows black man does not have the foresight to lead. They can do many things but lead.

Danegun777:




How did Adam populate your fantasy Isreal story garden of Eden to populate the world

Isreali Jews are very weird people, with their ridiculous tales of lies

They claim to migrate from Egypt to Palestinian land for 40years , 365 * 40 = 14,600 days to travel 600 killometers, they moved like snail covering 1km per month , 33 meters in one day



.

The bible gives reason for that.
1. A generation had to die - those who saw the miracle in Egypt yet still did not believe. Only 2 people Joshua and Celeb were leaders from the original pilgrim.


2. How you walk with cattle and young children is different than now. Plus they did no work on Sabbath ( Friday evening to Sunday morning) . When someone gave birth they all camped or when they had arguments amongst each other . Or when they gathered food ( manna) .

3. Terrain was different now than back then so 600 miles now would feel like double or triple . Plus you know where you are going. Those people were led and had to fight some battles along the way.

jesusjnr2020:
How I Lost My Brand New Shoes At A Gospel Crusade Ground

It was the first time I attended a Reinhard Bonnke Gospel Crusade as a kid sometime in the early 90's.

My mum had just returned from the first night of the crusade, and spoke about how Reinhard Bonnke had taken 40 naira from inside his Bible (At the time 40 naira was about 5 dollars so still a big deal for many) and given to a small local boy from crowd.

That was all the motivation I needed to attend the next one taking place the next day, that's if I ever needed one.

My mind was just like, "that kid could have been me", so I followed my mum to the crusade ground the following day.

On getting to the crusade ground in the evening, i could see the mammoth crowd already gathered in the stands of the stadium which was really staggering and quite a frightening sight to behold. I had never seen such huge crowd gathering closehand in my short lifetime beforehand and this took place somewhere in the north.

We made our way towards the area closer to the podium. There were no seats there so we had to stand, but being able to successfully navigate my way to the front of the standing crowd was something that excited me.

Perhaps it was an attempt to get as close to the podium as possible, just in case what happened the previous day (when the little boy was called out and given that amount of cash) repeated itself, however i didn't know I was going to get much more than what i bargained.

After getting to the front of those standing, for some reason, perhaps to be more comfortable, I thought it wise to remove the brand new shoes my mum bought for me from my legs and use it as a seat instead, on the floor.

It made sense until there was a sudden rush from the crowd behind which now pushed those of us sitting on the floor forward and displaced us from our original position.

That's how I found myself in an advanced position but without my shoes.

At this point being in front of the crowd became the last thing on my mind, as I abandon my position there in search of my precious shoes. I tried to trace it back to where I was originally sat, and searched and searched and searched but all my effort was to no avail.

That's how I lost arguably my most priced possession at the time, somewhere in the crusade ground as I couldn't find it before I left.

I came to the crusade ground with shoes but left there shoeless, even without the shoes I came there with.

Moreover I never got the invitation to the podium nor any 40 Naira as the other lucky kid the last night, which was the main motivation behind my attending the crusade that night.

It was indeed a very painful experience at the time to me, as though I should have never gone there in the first place, however overtime, it seemed a blessing in disguise as i have gained much more than what I had lost in the Reinhard Bonnke Gospel Crusade ground, because today I am not just saved, but also preaching the Gospel of Christ to millions around the world, with a similar passion for lost souls.

I believe such an experience in my childhood where I attended his crusade, sowed a seed in my life that also significantly contributed its fair share to the harvest of what God is using me to do today, bringing many souls into His Kingdom to His own glory.

Perhaps I had to lose something very precious to me of this world which is temporal, to gain that of much more value (eternity) which I could never lose.

God bless.

Your loss was an answer to someone prayers .

press9jatv:
https://www.premiumtimesng.com/sports/nigeria-sports-news/635394-mfm-womens-basketball-club-wins-2023-zenith-womens-basketball-league.html

lol 😂… lining up some jokes
They must have promised their opponents hell fire 🔥

SenecaTheYonger:
There’s a white woman I had sex with, her pussy was so tight although she had so much tattoo and piercings on her body.

I thought she must just be newly disvirgined cause her pussy was very tight and warm. I asked her what’s her body count, she said she lost count after 500.

I was in disbelief. I asked how come she’s so tight. She said she does “hella kegel everyday.”

I think most women are lazy. They prefer to rub chemical and leave it than to exercise (kegel) their pussy.

Yep good old kegel exercise . Read that from a book called the ACT of Marriage about 20 years ago

Omoawoke2:
It’s that hard that some we propose to pay your flight ticket or split the bills with you. It’s that bad

Wow I did not know that!

Kobojunkie:
Again, I didn't "enjoy" winter for the longest time. It was only after I decided to step outside of myself, learn how to properly dress warm during the winter, that I began to enjoy winter.

2. This is rubbish reasoning since both men and women have to step outside of themselves, learn how to dress warm , etc., in order to mingle and enjoy winter the same.

A man can dress up and go out and have fun by himself at a club etc . For ladies it’s different . They would rather go with a group for security. Without a vehicle in winter it’s not easy to get around to some places. Build your nucleus of friends first either at church or at work. There is no one glove fits all . But to counter her boredom start with things you are familiar with when springs comes and summer she can step out and take advantage of the various activities that abound.
Even whites experience winter blues . There are ton of suicides that occur during this time of year. Many are not announced for fear of copy cats.
Many are lonely. It’s a loneliest time of the year . She just needs someone who understands and can relate to what she’s going through and encourage her that there’s light at the end of the tunnel .

Kobojunkie:
It is only dark, cold and depressing if you want it to be for you. I recall that after I joined the cycling club, winter months became anything but dark, cold and depressing. I would ride out on my Bicycle even in the snow to go watch Christmas lights or shows downtown. I realized that I had in fact been the one torturing myself all the time I used to dread the winter months.

Not everyone enjoys winter. It’s one step at a time . It’s takes getting used to. A way a man would integrate is different from a single lady. Winter can be depressing when the sunsets at 4pm and it’s dark like nobodies business. Let her start by building her circle of friends and then she can do outdoor activities.

Kobojunkie:
So they are having a hard time integrating and the solution should be for them to hurdle up with others who are equallly struggling to integrate??

Nigerians no dey like to solve problems at all. So instead of suggesting she learn to step out of her Nigerianess, your suggestion is that she find other Nigerians struggling with loneliness to hide away with in their churches, etc? The same hoodoo that is Nigeria where racism seems the order of the day?

They can’t all be JJC for Nja churches. Ask help from those you are comfortable with first. Ask what works for people. Not every Nigerian is comfortable stepping out a just talking with every dick and Harry. It could also be through them you might be introduced to one event or the other .
There are many ways to skin a cat 🐱.

Omoawoke2:
Na the problem be that. But those that are very close to you will always confess of the loneliness but will put up I don’t care face outside.
No mind them, na lie.
Once you are so close and begin to talk dirty with them, with their own very mouth them go talk say, omoawoke, I am sex starved. Walahi I need serious dicktation, show my side come do one week here na.

Then we go start dey talk rubbish, and they are damn serious anticipating the arrival

You are very apt .
I know a few and you couldn’t tell from the outside but one just told me that she is lonely . But she far from me . I dey try go 2ce a year visit am but e no cheap .

Omoawoke2:


Konji wan kill them for North America, North America no be anybody mate

lol 😂. I know but they still they form .

1Sharon:
Why do people keeping this? The western culture is not socially isolated if you don't want it to be. There are places westerners can go to socialize. And there are clubs that cater to Nigerian music.


She is complaining of loneliness because she isn't fully integrated and doesn't understand the system yet

Make she google Nigerian churches.
She will find a RCCG, Mountain of Fire or Believrs world. From there get contacts .
Then there will a Wazobia groups .
Depends on which city she dey.
It will be better but she needs to reach out .

Omoawoke2:
Na why I dey go Canada this winter, cold wan finish some of these girls, no joke I get 3 offers from Nigerian babes telling me to come for winter. All the konji of two to three years don store for some of their kepkus. I am capable sha

Sharing is caring … send some my way now

Somebody find me her number make I call am.

marvellous2222:
My wife threatened to divorce me if I bring my mama to live with us. My mama is 55 years old and she's not strong.

We have an extra bedroom and I said I can get a nurse to come take care of her and my mamas sisters can stop over to help time to time.

My wife says no and put her foot down that if my mama moves in, she will kick me out. My wife says my mama is dyïng anyways so let her d!e in hospital and not in our house.

I’m torn. What do I do? My mama raised me as a single mom. How can I do this to my mama when my mama need me most?

Please no insults, kindly advise me

For starters
1. You wife and mum never saw eye to eye to begin with .
2. Besides forced pleasantries I doubt they communicated.
3. Due to the aforementioned it was incumbent on you to have tried to smooth the issues between them before bringing her over.
4. Who will look after the woman , cook for her - it will likely be your wife.
5. It’s a house you share - if she isn’t comfortable find an alternative measure if she was homeless I could understand.
6. Just let the wife know that if her mum is in a similar situation she shouldn’t expect the same cold response.

Quality20:
Yesterday , a boy from the south was explaining his illicit sexual experience with a minor of 16 or there about. The story got me so shocked , how dare he proudly narrate such kind of heinous crime? From his narration, it seemed the minor was even so experienced and had no difficulty accommodating the man. Only god knows since when that tiny 16 year old girl started having illicit sex? Does this now mean that minors in the south are not safe and are being initiated into unlawful illicit sex every now and then? So girls down south can't grow up and get married without being spoilt by the numerous bad boys around? Are these girls now prostitutes or what? I don't know if I can ever allow my children to reside in the south at all.
I know that many decades a go men in the north were in the habit of marrying uneducated teenage girls, but that has now stopped and besides marital sex and unlawful illicit sex are not the same.

It’s everywhere not only South but across the world.
I’m Nigeria - it’s the video and music and aunties and dirty uncles who are liberal. Kids get curious they log onto and watch YouTube shorts. They hear and see everything that goes around.

Strangely when we all went to church or mosques back in the day and learnt consequences most of us stayed celibate until our late teens and early 20’s

Nowadays since everyone is a rebel these things are rampart .

In the western society - sex Ed is being taught at 7 years old. So I won’t be surprised that at 14 years old - a girl gets pregnant. Plus MTV and rap music that has no parental guidance all these things play on the idle mind.

So let’s not tribalise its world wide.

wondarkid:
He already gave his consent ,he no get choice ma lol..but it’s not cancerous ,it was just reoccurring and the doctor said they need to remove his Postrate

That’s a given . Also inquire about his testicles . It’s here that testosterone is produced and sperm. I is better . 2 is terrible as he won’t be able to have an erection unless he’s injected .

All the best .

Can we build cars for the average Nigeria ? We have the brains what stopping the government ?

K33fK0zaRt:
have you experienced it before? I know someone that did it and it became cancerous. And it killed him. He was never the same after that surgery cause they kept doing follow up surgeries.

I know someone who went to work and never came back. I mean There’s always a risk.
Planes crash yet they are the still safest way to travel.
You need to know details
What stage was it caught ?
Did the doctor do a good job ?
Did he have experience in doing the surgery?
Did he delay in finally giving consent for Surgery.

Due to cost medicine was going to cost N80k
Surgery almost 3 times the amount but I listened and researched and then put my foot down and said if he dies I’m coming to the funeral and will mention he died because we took cheaper option .

wondarkid:
thank you so much ,he has done the biopsy and it’s not cancerous but he has severe haematuria like it keeps reoccurring and it’s always money for admission

We were adviced to go for
The surgery as a lasting solution

Yeah do it once and for all .
Good luck

Hdanny:
Thanks for this man, have chosen the first choice and am working on myself not to look back on her.

Kudos to you . Easier said than done. What I do is move onto the next person . ( but that’s just me )

wondarkid:
wow after the surgery was the catheter removed ?? And how long was his recovery from the surgery ?

Yep I forced him to stay 2 weeks after but really after a few days 3 days he will get restless. The catheter stays the whole 14 days.
The doctor would scan the area to make sure that everything was removed and healing well. After which the catheter and bag will be removed .

wondarkid:
okay so prostatectomy is safe ?? And doesn’t have other complications??

How is your uncle now ??

There always complications but it depends on the growth , likely cancerous that needs to be removed . They remove testicles so that it doesn’t continue to produce sperm which needs fluid from prostate gland.
So what they do is this
1. Take a scan and biopsy of the growth . ( they will likely push an object in his anus .
2. Once they get a piece of growth it’s taking to land .
3. It’s looked at physically and then analyzed ( forgotten tech terms)
4. If it’s cancerous they would advise for it to be removed and then remove testicles to avoid spreading .
5. He will need blood - then surgery is bloody . It will take 3-5 hours . M
6. He will need to have a catheter to help him pee
7 . He will need a carry the bag along etc.

Honestly at the early stage medicine too late . Go for surgery

wondarkid:
okay so prostatectomy is safe ?? And doesn’t have other complications??

How is your uncle now ??

Uncle is fine. He had a church thanksgiving ceremony on his recovery. Always grateful for our support . The whole family

wondarkid:
My dad was treated for haematuria as he was peeing out blood and at a time he found it difficult to pee ,I had to rush him to general hospital where had a catheter insert in him to pass out urine.

He was on Admission for a week before he had a clear urine and was discharged with the catheter still in his bladder ,everything was okay after like weeks he started peeing blood again through his catheter,I had to take him back to the hospital and the same procedure was done ,the doctor said he had gross haematuria ,he did some test ,his PSA was checked

The doctor said it might be cancerous so he was adviced to do a Postrate biopsy,which was done and it was confirmed he has no cancer and nothing cancerous but he had benign (BPH) enlarged Postrate

The doctor advised we do a prostratectomy surgery to remove his Postrate so he can have peace of mind ,my dad is 67 and I know the effect of the surgery comes with erectile dysfunction

I want to ask if anyone has experience this ?? And is prostactetomy a good solution to his condition??

I would advise to remove the prostrate.
Just had it removed for an uncle.
He’s about 77 and his last sexual encounter was 5 years ago. He can have an erection just that he can’t gather any kids.
The surgery will SAVE HIS LIFE.
Go for it !!!!!

We had an option to use medicine. I objected as you do not know how far it’s metasized to or spread . The cheaper option is of course medicine. Listen to your doctor and it doesn’t hurt to get a second opinion.

pradoyeep:
If there has been a debate in your home about the paternity of one or more of your children, and that prompts for a DNA test. If the test shows that your hubby is the true father of your child or children, what will be your reaction?

It really depends on how the conversation got started. And how it’s presented.
Some women will like the justification that the kid is yours .
Others will call it a betrayal of trust.

Some will laugh at you and a dinner date should resolve it .
Some will get cold for a while which means you’re in the dog house.

Hdanny:
Let me start with this, am not the relationship type, have never been committed to any girl all my life. I don’t go for anything under skirt cause am too selective when it comes to Girls.

I met this girl in Port harcourt at a friends place in early June, she is a single mother and she seems to be a very good and jovial person, we got connected immediately and we had sex the same day, ever since then our sex scenes been great, she do a-lot of things for me, like house cleaning, cooking, doing my laundry and stuffs even when she’s not been told. I told her the first day that I don’t base here and I might travel back to Lagos where I came from very soon, she said it’s fine.

Fast forward to the day I was about leaving, she started begging me to take her along that she needs to take her son to Lagos where her ex boyfriend parents live for the boy to resume school, the ex is not in Nigeria. I felt pity for the poor boy and I told her it’s okay, I gave her money to go take the boy from her mom so we can go Lagos together. I made it known to her that I won’t be responsible for her housing and feeding cause am going back to go hustle. We left Port Harcourt together the next day.

Getting to Lagos, she started lamenting that she hasn’t eaten that I should please send her some money and should try to get her a job, I reminded her of what I told her the day we were leaving, don’t try putting your burden on me here in Lagos. Luckily for her I got her a job close to my work place, just for her to use that in taking care of herself. She started the work the next day and we started seeing again and having sex couple of time at my place, all these time I didn’t promise her marriage or whatsoever. Now here is the problem.


Anytime we have misunderstanding at my work place, before I say one she don talk two even when I tell her to stop she still continue talking, when it happens like that I just get up and find my way out but she never allowed me to go out, she would run after me and lock the door then remove the key, before I know it I would hit her and she won’t even waste time hitting me back, have never hit woman all my life but I can’t just help it, all these happened at my work place most of the time, once we settled she would go on her kneels and start begging me to forgive her for hitting me, it happens over and over again, our last fight was bloody, I had to call it quit few days ago before anything bad happen. She cried and begged me that it won’t happen again but I made her understand that it is not healthy if we continue like this.


Have been by myself these past few days, I must confess I miss her so much, she cook for me and bring to my office everyday, I miss our nights conversations so much, her soft touch on me and the rest. I called her two days ago to come around which she did, I made her sleep at my place, we talked through the night and we ended up having sex and she asked if I was okay with it or if I want more that she knows I miss her so much, I can’t even deny that cause it’s boldly written all over me. She left very early in the morning at 6am. I noticed the feelings wasn’t there anymore, I understand how she feels cause I had to make her leave my place that day we broke up even though she never wanted to leave.

I miss everything about her even though I don’t see any future in us. I feel something is not right, keeping her and still having sex while we already broke up. Should I just let her go or still keep up with her?

This is easy - Quit while ahead.

Uou said you’re not the relationship type. Yet she cooks, clean, and sleeps with you . You even have fights. That is clear that you are in a relationship even though you call it something else.

you are even missing her. Clearly, you have feelings for her.

There are two choices
1. If you are not ready for a relationship CUT HER LOOSE. Do not pass Go . Do not collect N200.

2. If you still want to pursue her, you have restart the relationship- get to know her , her temperament. Things both of you have to work on.