₦airaland Forum

Interesting piece !
First thanks for sharing and opening up yourself to neitizens !!!

There are steps which should have occurred once the affair was discovered which is that you both meet a marriage counselor and start the process of reconciliation.

If the husband feels like the offence was too much to handle and forgive then you both should part ways.

It makes no sense you being humiliated for your mistake. I mean when we err you forgive make correction and move on . Discuss why you did what you did etc.

So my solution is that you bring the horse to the water. Find a marriage counselor and explain what happened book an appointment and speak to your husband that you have arranged such meeting if he fails to show up then you can write every single person a letter and leave the house.

Do not be forced to commit suicide and kill yourself. Jesus forgave the woman at the well and Mary Magdalene . But if non of your family members can, then move on.

My two cents !

Congratulations!!!

Just a word of caution - beware of 7year inch . It’s not everything you should post online. Share among friends on FB or Instagram .

All you holier than thou.
Send me her details we appreciate her .

ramalot:
I saw a thread on the front page a few days ago, titled "Can This Happen At Nigerian Embassies?"

The thread had a pic depicting a lady's social media post about getting an emergency US passport in a few hours, at a US embassy.
In that thread, the overarching sentiment of posts was - that could never happen at a Nigerian embassy.

Well, the definitive answer is.. YES, it can and it does.
I know this, because I did it only 3 months ago. A standard Nigerian passport renewal, not an emergency passport like thaty lady got.
And no, I'm not talking about any "back doors" or "greasing" any palms.

I responded in that thread, but felt it's also relevant to emphasize it in detail in a new thread. Nigeria is incredibly incompetent at most things, but once in a while, something works. As they say, even a broken clock is correct once a day.


Just for context, I travel with a US passport, but use my Nigerian passport when going to Nigeria, or some African countries.
I've renewed my US and Nigerian passports in multiple countries (as I travel quite a bit), so I've had some experience with both.

From the screenshot in that previous thread, it's clear the lady was NOT in the US when she got the emergency passport. In the US, we don't go to an "embassy" to get a passport, as "US embassies" don't exist in... the US. The emergency passport is no big deal and comes with only 5 or 6 pages, so you still need a standard renewal when you get home.

Also, the current estimated time for a US passport within the US is 11 weeks, and the "rush" service is 5-7 weeks. There has been a lot of passport backlog, similar to the situation in Nigeria, but it's a bit better now, I believe. I renewed my US passport in Argentina last year, and got it in about 2 weeks.

Anyway, I went to Brasilia, Brazil 3 months ago, to renew my Nigerian passport, as that was the only passport-issuing location in the region I was traveling. I first visited the Nigerian embassy in Argentina and was told they don't produce passports, but I could get it in Brazil on the same day. I was very skeptical of that information, because... Nigeria.

As it turns out, the entire process from getting there, to receiving my new passport was a few hours. It wasn't some emergency passport either. It was a standard passport. I paid online > booked an appointment > went there. Paid an administrative fee > did the capturing and walked out with my new passport all in 2-3 hours. I was literally the only person being attended to at the Nigerian embassy, though. It was empty, except about 4-6 embassy staff I saw. The guy who attended to me was also very polite and professional (something lacking in most Nigerian operations).

So, not only can you get your international passport at a Nigerian embassy in a few hours, it's a permanent passport - not an emergency one. Shout out to the Nigerian embassy in Brasilia, Brazil. The embassy in New York is a different story. Took me many months and headaches to renew there, in 2017.

The attached image is from a video I took outside the Nigerian embassy, in Brazil.

Glad to know that miracles do happen.
Just the case for 1 out of 196 countries Nigeria has its presence

That’s easy but you won’t touch shishi!!!

KIngvenus:
Chioma Onyedikachi needs ur advice pls👇

My husband is k!IIng me with sxx! This man comes back from work by 5pm, removes his clothes, showers, invites me to the bedroom, and starts banging me for about 45 minutes. Sometimes he does it anywhere. Then he sleeps a little, eats, watches TV and begins again. Different techniques. He will wake up again by 5 a.m. and resume the banging. Sometimes he returns on break just to have sxx! I do not know whether he takes drugs but his passion seems incensed immediately he sees me. Initially I enjoyed it but now my whole body is hurting. He does not take no for an answer though he properly takes care of my needs. We are just one year into marriage and I am yet to get a job. Is this normal for newlyweds? Advise me, please.

Without you mentioning newly weds I would have asked if you are newlyweds.
This is the truth- the man was been waiting his life to have good sex with his intended for a while. Plus he wants to put you in the family way asap. He wants those kids popping out.
Regarding the sex styles - that’s his porn addiction talking. You have to address that with him that you are not a actress talkless of a porn actress ( it’s an act , just like James Bond doesn’t die or get injured )
When life happens usually after the second year and you get into little arguments- the frequency will reduce. But watch out for the 7 year itch this period will make or break the marriage.

Edusouls:
kai this is called marital exploitation and cruelty, what kind of nonsense is this financial drainage all in the name of marriage ?

It’s cultural sha. I don’t think it’s about position of child only but how wealthy the family is.

missimelda01:
So I get this awkward reaction when a man asks for my position in my family and I say I'm the first child. I really want to know what the issue is...is it just the bride price??

Never knew this was an issue. Bride Price . To me it’s just the level of responsibility that befalls a first born child either man or woman.

legitnow1:
ANY MAN GIVE MY WIFE BELLE, IS A SPERM DONOR.


NA ME GET THE PIKIN.



IGBO CULTURE IS TOO SWEET.

That’s a matured mind but rare.

I can somewhat understand 1 but all 4 kids !!!

For the woman’s sake - I hope it’s a Chimera case.
https://time.com/4091210/chimera-twins/

Hmm it’s not healthy - he obviously watches porn and that is his fetish.
You can help reset his brain my denying sex in the shower or leave him . This will not end well for any relationship long term .

Ilamina:


I have no beauty and I have no brain

Uneducated and gross
Yuck

You are slowpoke then .
Does it require a degree to go into business or travel ?
Does opening and running a company depend on looks .
Stop the self pity and looking for handouts!

Write down your goals and how to achieve them .
Where do you see yourself in 5 years.
How much do you need to start something?

It’s all about communication and understanding.
I would hope that if a man allows his wife to further her career that she is making more money than he is. That she understands that because she is making more does not mean she is the man of the house . And that this is communicated between each other.
That said some of the responsibilities that she would normally do around the house would fall to him to do.
It will take a generation for this to be widely acceptable in our society but I know male doctors who due to their schedule are able to make dinner and pick up kids from school . While she takes the kids to soccer practise and puts them to bed. It’s all about love , communication and putting the needs of the other before one self.
Now why a woman may deny their husband are a few reasons
1. Despite her busy schedule she still had a lot to deal with . Making lunch for kids , laundry etc so she infact tired.
2. He isn’t picking up the slack .
3. It has to be planned it can’t be spontaneous anymore due to their busy schedule.
4. Age of the woman - As they age their sex drive wanes.
5. Stress can reduce one’s desire for sex. I was once in a mood for sex only for me to get an email that one of the tenants wanted to see me urgently - my mojo went from 10 to -10. My girl tried all the tricks in the book , my. JT refused to rise . All because I was stressed mentally.

adenigga:
Source: https://punchng.com/N5bn-yacht-Navy-confirms-delivery-faces-payment-crisis-over-NAssembly-opposition

Bastards they already have the boat.
Sell it !!! Maintenance for staff and fuel alone will cost millions.

opamoses1:
https://www.channelstv.com/2023/11/03/france-to-return-150m-abacha-loot-presidency/

They will return 150million loot. So this man died in 1995 or so. How much interest do you think France made on 150million over 25 years ago.

Drumroll = 150million dollars.
And that’s just being conservative.

RECTEM:
Good News to all my Chelsea Fans

Good News but too late

UnfairLife7:
Lol

If you know the amount diasporans remit to naija useless economy you go close your mouth when people say money is the number one priority for considering to relocate. You can never compare poverty in Nigeria to ordinary SA not to talk of those developed countries

Despite the amount remitted over. Money is not enough reason unless you are doing Yahoo. Money doesn’t grow on trees , it will take a while and even then you will need something that pays on the side with no taxes. The number that article reported Nigerians remitted does it account for the number of Nigerians in disposa as business people , individuals and or others ?
In any case to everyone their own.

minakom:
My own reason is to make money. Every other thing I hear people say is for their children, safety, healthcare. Who tell una sey dem no dey die abroad or them no dey kill people. Nowhere on earth is safe ooo.
Please share your opinions

If your only reason is to make money - you better stay where you are .
Just realize that for every dollar you make 30 cents we will take at source.
Then you’ll pay bills ( rent, transportation, clothes , communication , food) and misc.
whatever is left maybe 20%
Then you need to save for retirement.
When you fall ill ?

Making money is not enough reason in my opinion.

Chijeep:
It all happened like this...
I(a single man) and a married woman with 4kids who we both work in the same restaurant fell in love with each other, though we never had s3x but we use to have hot romance because I don't think I can bear sleeping with another man's wife.
These hidden relationship have been going on since 2 months now.
Like a joke, she asked me that will I marry her if she's single and I told her that yes because she's a spec both physically and otherwise.
BUT NOW I'M AFRAID OF WHAT'S COOKING NOW BECAUSE THIS SAME WOMAN HAVE TOLD HER HUSBAND THAT SHE WANT OUT OF THE MARRIAGE JUST FEW DAYS AGO AND THIS WEEK SHE HAVE INFORMED HER PARENTS OF HER INTENTION OF GETTING OUT OF THE MARRIAGE THOUGH HER PARENTS ARE NOT IN SUPPORT OF IT.

THOUGH I TRIED CLEARING MY MIND BY ASKING HER WHY WILL SHE LEAVE HER HUSBAND AND HER 4 KIDS AND SHE SAID THAT SHE NEVER LOVED HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE AND IT WAS HER MOM'S IDEA TO ACCEPT THE MAN'S PROPOSAL BECAUSE SHE WAS JUST 19 YEARS OF AGE WHILE THE MAN IS WAY MORE OLDER, AND TO CROWN IT UP, SHE SAID HER HUBBY ISN'T GOOD IN BED THAT HE PRACTICE HIS CHRISTIAN WAYS OF HAVING SEX SO MUCH THAT EVEN THE LITTLE SHE'S ENJOYING IN THE S3X OF A THING THAT SHE'S THE ONE TAKING IT UP ON HIM.

PLEASE HOW DO I GO ABOUT IN THIS KIND OF ISSUE, THOUGH I LOVE THIS WOMAN BUT I DON'T WANT TO HAVE A HAND IN THEIR SEPARATION.

Not sure why YOU ARE SCREAMING AT US !!!
And where you copied what you are sending us from . I’d like to see the WhatsApp messages you exchanged.
Plus just keep lying to yourself that you never had sex with her.

That said listen !
You are not the first to be embroiled in such and will not be the last .
You have to drum it in her that your relationship is over .
1. You cannot have 4 step kids overnight as you want to have children of your own. The children will despise you.
2. Even though you admire her you can’t marry her.
3. Tell her that if she want to continue what you two have - she has to stay with her husband.

I would have advised that you quit the job but this climate is not conducive to be jobless.

adesegun121:
Una go dey defend nonsense
Citizen are hungry na yatch remain to buy abi



Book Our Apartment here :

https://www.nairaland.com/7810806/imranshortlet-baruwa-ipaja-lagos-state

And they are still doubling down .
Does Yugoslavia still exist ?
All those countries didn’t buy their yacht in the last 10 years.

Can’t even be kitted properly and just wear a balaclava . This just looks awful and nothing to be taken serious.

Case of bringing a knife to a gun fight.

SalamRushdie:
Why will you be living in Brooklyn, Chicago, Philly and even arguing with anyone , most people in these places are frustrated and ready to kill

Can you believe the homelessness in Philadelphia. Unbelievable . People just sleeping on the streets .

Chicago - gang violence ( you have failed this city ! )

Brooklyn - Bronx , Jersey so many failed and ghetto projects

Rapture2021:
Before I say one thing my wife has abused the hell out of me,she was such a calm and reserved person before we married,but today at the slightest of misunderstanding she begins the insult,even getting close to my face telling me to beat her,I have never laid a finger on her,but she is tempting me to do that. How can a woman calls a man fool, idiot, animal? I have reported her family severally and yet she is not changing.

I opened a boutique business for her last year,now she said she wants to sell baby things,and I have done it half way,I had to just prank her that the other money I was expecting hasn't come, immediately she began the insult again to my face,as it is the prank is getting real because I will not give her the money anymore

Your write up shows the following

- she is being influenced by outside interests ( be it a friend, relationship or TV shows )
- usually couples get closer and communicate better not press each others buttons.
- I would suggest you find a marriage counselor and talk this through before she provokes you to physically beat her and then feel guilty.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😉😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

A yacht, a yacht. Lol 😂
I mean we are not talking about roads and infrastructure or employment .
A 5billion yacht plus staff to maintain and what happens to yacht after 4 or 8 years ?

And this is who we voted for ??
How can you read and listen to the plight and suffering of your people and decide that a yacht is what you need right now ?

In exchange for what ?

France don go o. So unto you Nigeriens.
Prove me wrong .

How do I apply to work for INEC ?
They seem to have unlimited supply of cash .

Sunisonflex39:
The other two guys are getting agitated..I told them to calm down a bit..

It’s just ludicrous for the dude to owe you salary and then to add insult to injury present a brand new vehicle right before your eyes !!!
Daring you to do your worst!

Good luck but ain’t no way I am not taking a piece of that vehicle and moving on !

Sunisonflex39:
Good morning everyone, I don't know if most of you remember me how I was all over nairaland begging for job sometimes last year..

So I gate crashed to this firm around Port Harcourt were I stay, submitted hard copies of my small documents and was called for interview four days letter.it is a bottling a water factory firm owned by one man.
There was no offer letter, we were just sent an SMS to resume work on so and so .

I was asked to resume 7.30 to 6pm on a salary of 25k per month..for the first month, I was paid half with the excuse that company was not going well as per sales, the second month I was not paid atol with two other guys that resumed same time as me but oga was just giving us 300 naira each for TP,we thought he is generous, because we were expecting double Salary by the month end since we didn't get our previous salary.

It got to the third month which is this month, the three of us went to the lady that does HR and complained to her, she said we should take our complaint to the boss.

The next day, the man came to work with a new ride..Lexus saloon car, how did I know it was a new car? He called his friend on phone and we overheard him telling his friend to come to his office and see the new car he got..

Letter that day after work which was Friday, I and the three other guys met him and said we have not been paid for like 3 months sir, the man cuts in and said don't we see how the country is, that if we are tired we should go..

Since Friday I and the two other guys left the work.and still planning on what to do on him.

I know the country is bad, but we should not try to take advantage of job seekers just because you feel they look desperate..

Right now my head is just full..

Deflate all 4 tires 🛞