₦airaland Forum

... In other news Brenden Rodgers of Liverpool FC conceeded defeat to Arsene Wenger when he lost 4-1 to Arsenal FC at anfield... Let us give him a Nobel Prize.

I didn't run a red light in traffic yesterday.. I think i deserve a Nobel prize... Add a Grammy, Oscar, Emmy, Mtv Mama, Vma, Brit & a couple of other awards to that.

If everyone were to get a Nobel prize for simple act of common sense, then their will be nothin special about it cuz the whole world will have one.
Oh well, from the way psychophants are going about trying to elevate mediocrity (GEJ), it seems common sense is a scarce resources in Nigeria.
A Nobel for accepting to vacate a Public seat you were ELECTED & then VOTED OUT of cuz your administration was shambolic? Hahahaha.. Nigeria is a joke country with plenty comedians.
A Nobel for a man who was dancin skelewu a day after 200 girls were kidnapped under his watch.
A Nobel for a man who does not give a damn and says "Stealing is not corruption"

I am starting a petition to have it stopped.. I will make sure i dedicate everything i have to stop this fraud and celebration of mediocrity.
Whatever reccomendation they get about GEJ should be thrown in the garbage where it belongs.
GEJ does not even deserve a nomination, let alone actually winning one... Rubbish of the highest order!

Lesson from the Story:
1. Never do something permanenttly stup!d when you are Temporarily upset.

2. Always wear a condom.

3. Never have sex with a girl u cannot marry without protecting yourself.

Man you can find love again.. There are millions of girls in Nigeria. Find a good 1 and try again. If u wish.

Until Nigerian women learn that it is not by "force" to marry, we wont stop hearing all this sob stories.
Your friend knew how the man was before marrying him. She made her bed of nails, let her lie on it.

On the flip side.. I will advice her to cut her lose. She made a mistake, its time to correct it rather than trying to live with it for the rest of her life.
Get a job.. Get an apartment of her own.
Divorce is the obvious answer here. Even the bible gives the only ground for divorce is infidelity.
If she never born pikin for the man. It makes it even beta to ja now.
Men plenty for Naija. Maybe a 2nd chance, she will open her eyes and choose a good man.

Another solution is to accept that she married a cheat.. Most Naija woman will kuku accept it rather than face the stigma of being divorced.
She go just know say her man's Dicck na national cake for all the babes to share. As long as he comes home after hooking up with his all his mistress & concubines.
My only fear with this option na make the man no go bring home uncurable STD's.
Its a dicey suitation.

++I Feel sorry for a whole lot of Nigerian women with the kinda stories i read here... Who raised all these kind of Men?
Maybe its time Nigerian women start hunting for foreign men... But then when i think of what girls do to good men in their prime..
I'd say yall deserve each other jare.

MrDrew:
shi* is hard bro

i know it is hard but u deserve better or your story could end up like this guy that almost fathered another man's child.
Never try to change a cheat.
Never wife a LovePeddler... Be thankful that u dodged a bullet.
Read for yourself..
https://www.nairaland.com/2351027/im-shock

Smallville is the best superhero series ever made.. There was never a dull moment. The story is topnotch, the characters are amazing, unforgetable quotes, awesome songs as soundtrack.
It has everything there is... forget Arrow or Flash they are just there Current Dare Devil is the super hero series to see.

Dude what more advice do you need? I dont understand.
The moment you found out she was 2 timing you is the moment you should have made up your mind to walk away.
How do people stand liers & cheat?
She had consensual sex with the guy. He didnt force her (Thats the biggest lie girls tell about sex.. Very hilarious)
she told you she broke her virginity with her finger cuz she thought the guy had broken it. Until you tried and it was still painful then the guy broke it properly for her after another try. They are now `fucking steady while you are on your bed wasting your timing thinking about a disloyal girl that is shagging another dude & giving him your money.
Man this thing wont end well for you. I know this cuz it has happened a thousand times. If you go through old threads on Nairaland, you will realize you are not the first to xperience this and wont be the last.
On the flip side, i have been there, done that. Sometimes, it hard to just leave someone you have shared so much with even though it all turned out to be a lie.
Forget all that crap of her saying she will kill herself if you leave.. Lol.. Dont fall for that cheap emotional blackmail.
What i did was make something good out of a bad suitation. I told the babe that all we can be is "friends with benefits". For the next 2 years, i had the best shagging of my life. Its tricky cuz you have to find ways to bury you emotions and stop any form of investment in that relationship cuz it has no future again. So my advice, if you are not stonehearted & you think you might change your mind & start doin lover boy again, dont take that route. Just break it off and move on with your life.
There are plenty other girls out there that will appreciate you better, you probably wont believe cuz your emotions are in tatters right now but get a grip man, dust yourself up & make firm decisions.
Never let emotions cloud your reasoning. The answer is staring at you in the face.
You know what to do Andrew... The choice is all yours.

U married the wrong man.. Cut your lose now and move on with your life. There is nothing wrong with being a female, There are plenty other people out there that married husbands who will never lift a finger against them no matter how angry he gets.

Was he like this when you were courting? If you are used to the beating then, why not now?

Hoping an abusive person will change is like hopin a leopard will change its spot.
We all get angry, i am sure you do too. Do you beat up your husband when you are mad at him?

I dont know how much of this beating you can take but just try hard not to end up like that woman i read about in the punch newspaper, the banker that got stabbed by her husband 88 times.
It must have started with a slap every now and then, it graduated into beating then knife till she was murdered. She never thought it will happen to her but it did.

She was educated, employed and could have moved on with her life. I guess she must have been thinking: he will change.. Or what will people say that i am divorced.
All i am saying is Animals dont change. They will beg, promise and cajole u to stay.

I wish you can talk to a wide variety of women that have had the misfortune of marrying an abusive husband.

The more children you have, the harder it gets for you to breakfree. Your hubby might be counting on that. I really wish you goodluck.. Just please dont bring up a child in that kind of environment. Dont create another human with the orientation that hitting a woman is cool or marrying a violent man is okay.

+Off Topic+
**Religion and substandard education is a real problem in Nigeria. Even the females who are empowered and employed enough to be independent cannot breakfree cuz of stigmatization of being a divorcee.
Naija guys get advantage alot. The females will do anything to stay married.

What is with myopic people and their obsession with virgins? dude, i don't care if my wife is a virgin or not. what ever she has done before she meet me is of no consequence. you might be obsessed with virgins but to me, my sense of value of a woman is not based on weather she has had sex or not....
Virgin this, virgin that... Are you a Virgin yourself?

stonecoldcafe:
I hope you won't be finding fresh virgin to marry. I hope you won't mind if your wife has been round the block a couple of times. After all the sex is amazing. There is no immorality there and she is free to what she likes with her body.

Our culture also forbids giving birth to twins, we used to throw them in the evil forest
No one should be forced to conform to cultural practice. like i said "evrybody has a choice"
There are people who have choose not to get married in life. should they be denied the pleasure of sex because of that?
Sex is not just for procreation only, so the emphasis withing the umbrella of marriage is flawed. There is nothing immoral about having sex outside of marriage.
all the cons you listed only happens to people who refuse to take precautions. hello! that is why condom was invented and other contraceptive.
anybody who chooses to have sex with protection should take the consequence in good faith.
Sex is Good! its one of the most beautiful things nature has bestowed on living things.

GOD can NEVER be a liar where did God tell you not to have sex? *personal encounter only please*
Dont bother answering that question, if you will be quoting from fairytale religious books. those are books fabricated by men and guess what? Humans tell lies.

winie:
Haba! She never said sex was bad nor immoral. She only implied from her write up that pre marital sex is irresponsible. Fairy tale god you say...anyway, even our culture forbids pre marital sex. Why? Cos sex within the umbrella of marriage is clean and moral. At the risk of sounding judgemental, unwanted pregnancies, STDs, diseases, mental and emotional traumas, abortions, deaths, dysfunctional societies fill with baby mamas and papas, etc, is where "learning about and improving on sex" (as you brazenly put it) has brought quite a number of people. The fact that some were consensual, doesn't erase the above consequences. You are a man abi? We have a saying in my place-"good is good, and bad is bad, who ever say something bad is good, let come in quantum to him, and whoever say god is bad, may he never see good". So my dear, n matter how you look at it, GOD can NEVER be a liar. I rest my case

You know at a job interview an HR once asked for my Facebook ID.. i was like "shhit" i don die today cuz my facebook has worse writeup than my nairaland account sef. funny thing is she read through with a smile.
After the interview "we will get back to you".

few days later, i got a call. i got the job, a pity i couldn't take it eventually cuz the pay didn't match my expectations.

If anyone ask for my Nairaland ID though, i no fit let them know lai lai... na top secret handle. i love beiing anonymous..

It is your business if u decide not to have sex in a relationship...
As far as i am concerned, it is a free world. Wether you choose to have sex or not is a personal decision.
My biggest grouse with this write up is terming Sex is as "immorality".
Sex is a beautiful part of nature. As long as 2 conscenting adult decides to have sex & it is not rape. There is absolutely nothing immoral about it.
Everybody should find their own kind. You wanna keep yourself till marriage, fine.. Goodluck to you!
Let those who wants to have sex do so by all means. Different strokes for different strokes.
People should stop quoting retarded lies from fabricated middle eastern & Jewish Religion and fairytale God to back up the claim that sex is "Dirty or Immoral"
Dont feel guilty about something as amazing & beautiful as sex, its an important part of nature.
So ladies and gentlemen, have sex, learn more about it, improve on it, make sure you stay PROTECTED always and if you choose not to, make sure you are always ready for what comes after.
Cheers!

Cerebral Malaria can make people run mad and eventually kill them..

They should simply perform an autopsy and find out the cause of them.

I trust by now The Nigerian police would already be threatning the guy they have in custody, telling the family to go and look for money because its a murder case.

I just hope no innocent person rot in jail at the end of this story.

Are you by any chance named, Wayne Bridge? And is your friend's name John Terry?

Omo, she is your Ex-wife.. She has the right to visit/Date or Bleep whosoever she wants.
She owes you no explanation or obligation. If you are unhappy, that is your own problem. You are not married anymore & she has moved on with her life. Do the same so you stop worryin about who she is fuuckin now.

If Some Nigerian men have their way, they wouldnt let any other guy Bleep their Ex. Na wa oh.

OMG this is so sad.. This story breaks my heart to pieces. I have tears clouding my eyes because it sucks to be you right now.

i. First, make sure you save the evidence. Their chat & everything else u can find. Then confront them.
The both of them.

ii. Send your sister back to your parent and let them know what is going on. They will know the best way to handle it.
This story will get out both in church, on the street, in the village & you will have to live with being the woman whose sister was sleeping with her "husband".
Embarassing but in time, you will get used to it.

iii. To be honest, i dont know what to tell you to do with your husband.
If i were in your shoes, i will divorce him because, i can never ever be happy with someone like that till i die.
I cant imagine waking up to see that kind of repulsive character around me. Of all the people in the world, it had to be your SISTER.
My God!
In Nigeria, the women are suffer head. They are not meant to divorce no matter what the man does to them.
So if you are the typical Nigerian woman & care about what people will say, Religion and societal expectations.
Then you have to make your marriage work again. Try seprating for a while, move somewhere so you dont do anything rash like poisoning YOURSELF or Your Husband.
You will end up in Jail for LIFE, for what?
Abeg, just move, to regain your sanity. When your mind is settled you can make the best decision.

For those tradin blames about who is at fault?
Both the Husband and the sister shares equal blame. They are both adult & know what they are doin. It is just pure, unadultrated & vile Wickedness! Evil people.

This story hurt me so much i dont even know how to advice you.
Take heart, but if i were in your shoes. Omo, it's over! The marriage.
Just be thankful that you dont have a child yet for such an evil person. It should make "Movin on" Easier to bear.
Chai.. It's manipulation season, pastors will beg u to stay, your parent and his family will do the same. You will hear all kind of stories of why your story is not the worst in the world. Naija women & suffering sha.

^Thinkin^
If the roles were reverse and your Husband found out you have been shagging his brother. What would he have done?

In Nigeria, hosting a party with your friends makes you gay...
Infact condom is the evidence that you are having a Gay initiation.
I have never heard a more absurd and ridiculous thing in my life.
The Nigerian police needs to be scrapped, they are the epitome of corruption.
I know being Homophobic in Nigeria is the new cool. Anytime you hear anything about Homosexuals, just go into bashing mode without thinking. The fact that some people on Nairaland are bashing innocent people that were harrassed, tortured & unlawfully detained for not commiting any crime shows that Nigeria is a failed society.
The educational system has failed cuz the average national I.Q has dropped to an all time low.
stup!d people everywhere, no wonder the country is so backwards.
Watchout keeping a condom in your pocket amongst your friends is now a crime in the Nigerian law.
I pity thia country with its people.

obiak4:
THANKS YOU ARE JUST IN ANOTHER WORLD WAKE UP IT 2015 REASONING PREVAIL NOW, HAVE FUN BUT DON'T COME I HERE AND SHOW YOUR STUPIDITY THANK ME LATER ONE LOVE

Lunatic is talking about reasoning? None of your post make any sense. Dude you are so off point, you stup!dity is of epic proportion. Go & show your !mbecilic mum One Love, she will need it.

precisionindepth:
most Dont wanna get married but if u c d drama DT comes with not getting married...u will cry.
wat money? y has money become d overall? in really weep for the way Nigerians has taken d issue of money.
marriage is suppose to b for companionship happiness respect and anything aside does, its not worth entering at all.

Dont let societal expectation determine your decision in life. If u choose not to marry cuz you did not find the Right person. It is much better for you.

Than live the miserable life those people who say they are married live.
Just spend your time in the family section for 2 days & you will know the BONDAGE Nigerians calls marriage is not worth it.

obiak4:
GAY ALERT
HAVEN'T I WARNED YOU NOT TO SMOKE IGBO BROUGHT FROM ABII
I EVEN ADVISED THAT EVEN IF YOU SMOKE SUCH DON'T/NEVER COMMENT ON NL

Yea.. Your father is my Gay Partner.. Did he tell you how i rammed up his aass last night and came all over his face? It was fun. Please by all means join us tonght for a 3some. Father & son is on my bucket list.

Schmuk Fcukoff my mention & buy a brain.

If you are reading this and you are Single... Good news for you. I came all the way from the future to deliver a message to you.
Its a simple message:
"No matter what you do, Please i beg you on bended knees, dont ever get married".
It is a needless trap... With the kind of stories i read here on Nairaland everyday, no one in his right sense will open his|her eyes and walk into the bondage Nigerians call MARRIAGE.
Everyone feels their own choice will be different till they make the choice of UNHAPPINESS & Misery for the larger part of their lives.
If you finally sucumb to societal pressure, make sure you do not marry a Nigerian.

That being said: The Moral of the story is:
1. As long as u are rich & can buy italian wears.. A Nigerian woman will love you no matter what you do to her. Smash her head with a Baseball Bat, just make sure u have money.
Lock her out of the house like you lock a dog out of a cage.
Deprive her of making decisons in the lives of her child because, she is just a baby making vessel that is meant to pop out children.
Once you are richer than her Family, have no regard for her parents cuz afterall, what does an Ant have to say in the gatherin of Elephants.

Make money in Nigeria. You will find "unconditional" Love.

This is the story that Jesus saw in his crystal ball &
Jesus wept.....

The truth is: The Nigerian ecconomy is a major factor.
1. There are very low jobs.. The ones that are employed sef are underemployed & underpaid.
2. Most boys are still living in their parents house in their late 20's, plenty in their 30's sef.
Marriage is the last thing on their mind as they are struggling to survive & make ends meet.

The ladies that wants marriage will want a guy that is set. Living on his own, good job & can foot bills as the head of the house.
The reality of this age is: Man & Woman should put their resources together. Get an apartment, fund a wedding, buy a car.. U get the idea. It helps.

Funny, i know a guys in their early 30's. They dont seem to be bothered about not being married at all. When we get together, our talk is on how to make more money & not drown in this hostile Nigerian Economy. Maybe its time for the Female folks to stop looking at marriage as the "ultimate achivement"

Love conquers everything.. did u see the movie: 50 First Date or the Notebook..

Help her to remember things by making sure she has a note to carry around, she will write things in that note and look at it. that way she wont forget.

Man i agree with you... schooling in Nigeria is so overrated.
After learning how to read and write, you cant get anything else.

all those dead place they call university is nonsense.. waste of time.

Why would any man not choose a successful, independent woman over the million of Leeches that are out there?
U must be joking with this post.. I will choose a successful woman anytime anyday.
Contrary to your opinion, having a wife that earns more money than you doesnt make you less of a man.
The reason plenty brothers out there have refused to marry is because the leeches are plenty & men no wan use their hand carry liability for head. The good hardworking girls are already taken.
I for one will never marry a lady that is not successful, i know plenty people who share the same opinion.

Before her, u had your standard for the kind of girl you want to be with.
Why is everyone sayin "She told him, hence he should pity her and marry her like that?"
I dont understand that part. If an abortion is a deal breaker for u, dont marry anybody out of pity oh.
Will the girl marry you if you told her u had HIV or Low sperm count? Dont let anybody guilt trip you into marryin a 'Damaged Good'.
Its deceptive that she waited till after your introduction to tell you this. just make sure u make up your mind before walking down the aisle with that girl.
For those saying is it not a man that impregnated her? Ehen make she go marry the man who give am belle now. Why should the OP pay for another guys mistake?
In a world where condom is cheap, she took the hard way of abortion.
The OP has a standard he has set for the kind of girl he wants to spend the rest of his life with so he has the right to continue or not if he chooses.
Dont let the fear of what will people say scare u... Make your decision by yourself and stick to it.
I wish you goodluckman.

On the flip side.. If fertility is your problem, here are what you can do:
1. Go to the hospital & run a fertility test.
2. Try getting her pregnant before the wedding and see for yourself.
On the flip side..
A. What if she is just joking and trying to test you? Some people have a sense of humour like that..

Marrying a Nigerian Woman is like a wrapped box.. U never truely know what you are marrying into till you get home and open the box.
Guys, beware of Naija girls.

I dont know what else u want us to advice u on.
U caught her cheating on u redhanded.. She found a way to twist it and blame u for it. U have allowed a chief manipulator to control the outcome of things.
U did not do any wrong, if she had nothing to hide, u wont be here seeking for advice. Its a good thing u found out what u know now. Imagine if u had already married this stranger.
OP leave another man's girl friend alone cuz every detail u have given here shows u were just an option. She knows who she wants.
In a world where it is possible to choose between u and that guy.. She would choose the other guy 1 million times.
Only a wuss wil force a girl to use his picture as DP, stop that sh!t.. It is obvious that she is not feeling u. You have been forcing urself on her all the while. Please move on.
What ever u do, dont try to contact the other guy cuz people do stup!d things when they are emotional. Your dealings should be with ur babe only.
My own advice for u is: Man stop acting like a LOSER.. Leave the 'relationship?' now with ur diginity intact, stop sobbing around or trying to force the girl to be with you. There are plenty nice, christian and homely girl that will appreciate u beta. The earlier the better for u.

Suashi83:
Honestly I should have been the OP of this topic because I am a living witness.
It was secondary school love, I was preparing for my first JAMB exam when I met this beautiful girl the LOVE WAS MAD. I was comfortable with no sex of a thing but my friends were putting pressure on me to make move to nack this babe. On one of her several visit I acted funny and she told me she is V YANSH very proud of her; beautiful, intelligent, good character..... to my surprise when I told my guys they were just making jest of me that my girlfriend was lying that I should bleep her but I endure all their insults and jabs.
We gain admission to the same university and our love was heaven on earth, the experienced was mad. Until in our second year in one of those smooching but no bleeping of a thing that she got carried away and we did it. But to my surprise my babe no be virgin oooooooooooo could not even finished the act when I asked her about her virginity she told me she just lost it to me now I was like are you mad I be mumu where is the blood, my world crashed that day. Could not handle the feeling of being betrayed by my girlfriend and have to end the relationship. She beg, she cried, she swear, her friend beg her mum sent for me but for where I no gre o the love of a thing is just not there again.
But honestly if it were now I would have handle the situation differently Cos that is the only WOMAN I EVER LOVE even though I am married now

Guy.. Do u realize that not all virgin bleeds during their first time.. If that is the only evidence u have that she is not a virgin then u might be so wrong.
Did she later confess to u that she has had Sex before or that event was the sole reason of breaking up with her..

The only girl u ever loved? What happened to the person u married?

@Topic
what is the obessesion of Nigerians with this Virginity bruhaha? Those who are no longer virgins were once virgins..
I think it is this obessesion that make Girls lie.
If a guy is no longer a Virgin, it doesnt matter..
If a Girl is no longer a Virgin she automatically becomes a Slut.
The mere fact that most people broke up their relationship because of this virgin thing shows that the only value most people assign to the girl is based on the status of her Vag!na.
As long as the girl did not cheat in that relationship, what eva she did in the past before u should remain her past.

Guy relax, i once read somewhere that the first 3 years of marriage is usually the hardest, after that it gets better so please be patient.
You guys courted, u knew her habit & attitude before u married her but u choose to go ahead with her. There must be a reason why u made that choice, dont let it change.
Familiarity breeds contempt, now that u live in the same house, her attitude are magnified 10X. It will seem overwhelming but in time u will get used to it.
I am glad u love her & u have been reasonable so far. Dont change please, u are well on the right track.
So many ladies will always act like babies but as they grow in marriage, they understand better the responsibilities of being a wife & keeping a family together.
Dont even think of divorce.. It should never be an option for u.
Whenever she starts her drama or talks to u rudely. Just excuse yourself till she calms down. Then u can talk to her & sort things out.
On the flip side, sum ladies are hot tempered and rude. I recon u must have known that before u married her. U felt u could cope, so that is something u might have to deal with for the rest of ur life if that is her nature.
Unhappy & depressed 2 months into a new marriage.. Man shouldnt this still be the honey moon phase?
Abeg find books on marriage and read up. Talk to a marriage counselor or an older person with a successful marriage that you will not to lead u astray.
I wish u Gudluck man!

¤Off Topic¤
NB: For those of u reading who are not married yet. Never ever get married! i repeat dont ever get married! Its a setup.
Dont let the society pressure u to or the fact that ur friends are all married & u feel left out.
U will end up miserable like a whole lot of people, Love fades away in time.
People change.
U can live a much more happier & fufilled life being single.
U can get laid by different chicks anytime u want without any drama.
I feel sorry for a whole lot of people. Religion & Societal expectations has really lead to people making bad choice in life. Dont be one of those people, choose how u write the script of ur own life.
If after all i have written up their the devil finally suceed in winning u heart & you choose to get Married..
Never Eva Marry a Nigerian Woman!

*Matured views & contributions only*
No Gender war please.. Male & Female get hurt the same when they are betrayed.
********************************
In the real world, i am yet to see a relationship that survived infidelity especially when a Woman is the culprit and based on the advice i have read here on Nairaland about any thread regarding Cheating|Infidelity. I am inclined to get diverse views on this subject.
One of those stories that stick out, was that thread about the lady who confessed to her man & the man filled for a divorce.
People make bad choices sometimes without putting into consideration the consequence of their actions. She was wrong, she admitted her mistakes, Doesnt she deserve a 2nd chance?

1. Can you forgive your partner for cheating?

2. Where does Forgiveness comes into play in Marriage|Relationship?

3. Have you ever been cheated on before? How did you handle it, where you able to forgive & forget?
How long did that relationship last after that incident?

Do people deserve a 2nd chance when infidelity is involved.. Can a relationship survive it?

Kindly share your Experience & views. Thanks!

Should we all be deemed a Hero everytime we do the right thing..
GEJ is no hero. He lost an election in a democratic government. He accepted his loss. How does that make him a Hero?
I should also get a Nobel everytime i dont run a red light in traffic or throw dirt on the street.
Hero my as's!

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Man! I feel sorry for u about ur delima.
The truth is u will never forget it.. U can neva trust her again.
I cant tell u what to do.. Only u can decide wat u want.
Can u forgive her & continue? If the answer is yes! Please forgive her.

But if i were in your shoes, i cannot live with it. So its bye bye. They always cry.
She didnt confess cuz she loves u, its guilty conscience eatin her up. So all those tears na wash.