₦airaland Forum

Gabry:
Pot belly!

lol ewwww. Will Smith for me. Lean and tall

spoilt:
Living in Nigeria requires resilience!
You can best believe that the visits can be deceptive as they are brief with preparations for your coming beginning weeks in advance. Yeah honey, the drums are definitely rolled out for the white woman.
Be ready to face the everyday grind of living in Nigeria where the system does not work. I love Nigeria. Its the best place on earth. All you need is a supportive family and everything else is manageable.

Lolll. Even as a native, when you get back, the drums are rolled out, but only for one or two days, after that, youre on your own. Thank God for family

Dont take heart, cos theres nothing wrong with you or your son. You have given birth to a future genius and the world will hear of him if you support him with all your might.
My friend's child had this problem from age 4 until age 8 and the teachers at school had suggested many therapists etc. She refused and warned them seriously not to allow any dr near her son. Fortunately for her, her husband understood the situation even before she did, so I get that her situation is different.
As for you. God gave you this child, dont allow anyone insult him or beat him. Husband of not. Please gather your courage and sit your husband down and explain to him why you dont want him beating your child anymore (yes he is YOURS cos you carried him 9months).
Men usually react wildly to situations they dont understand, but dont allow him in his ignorance beat your son. You need to make him STOP.
You are the one to set the tone, not the man. Otherwise your child will grow up insecure and he will one day despise you for not coming to his aid. Dont hide. As a mother, your responsibility to your child is above anyother responsibility.

Gabry:
Whats the point of letting your child know who is the father when the father doesnt want to know his child? Just tell your child that his/her father is dead in the war.

LOOOLLL, soooo original

Thats what I was pointing out. Theres a (now 25page) thread running on the same topic, so I guess people are saturated

AjaraEwuro:
Rosabelle
You obviously didnt read his comment b4 posting, you are repeating what he already said.

I read his post, and repeated what he said delibrately; hence the lol.

@Huxley. Could you kindly edit my quotation and take out the part where I inserted an email number (I edited my post as well). I put up the email just for the poster and wouldnt want just anyone mailing me there.
Would be very kind of you. Thanks

There is a lot I could tell you. Not to convince you, but to confirm a lot you have said. However we are on an open thread and this is (to me) much too serious an issue to be discussed in a market place (NL).
All your questions are not based on the existence of God, but on man's faults. Creation is perfect, man alone is imperfect. Hasnt this ever made you wonder

Here we go!

@Poster. Theres a 24page thread running on this same topic and its been raging strong for days now. lol

agathamari:
i love how when i nigerian woman makes the same comments as many above had then she is rght but if a white woman makes the comment she is generalising. other people have made the same observations and have made mention of it. you are a nigerian and therfor have no idea of what it is like being white in nigeria as i have no idea of what it is like to be black in the US. if you were moving to china to get married would you want chinese women telling you what it is like or other nigerian women in china who can relate to your siuation? you would pick the nigerian woman. the woman asked and i as well as others replied on our personal views and observations. that is what she got as well as the advice to view other comments made by nigerians about nigerians. regardless of where you are from a person will always see and sayonly the positive to a foriener. you go to the us and ask about anything and your going to be told only the positive aspects of society and the same anywhere else. when you travel to a country you dont seek advice from those who are fom the country but those who visited there. the answers and opinions you will get from a tourst are far different from what you will be told from a local. if anyoe has pure distane it is you

I dont know what experiences youve had, but I think Nwaka77 was the only one who replied to you in the negative. Almost everyone on this thread gave a negative answer to the posters question. So Im not sure youre alone in your observation on being married to a Nigerian man. Unfortunately they were negative, but true. A good 65% of african men are badly brought up and this reflects in their association with women.

Leilah:
Would only visit there, no way I would live there, its a mans paradise down there, women will do ANYTHING to snatch your hubby as he has money especially and that you are WHITE. Women will do anything to get him.
No way,
I received a very warm welcome from everyone I loved it there. I personally would be up the walls with worry thinking someone would snatch my husband (too many beautiful naija women).

You got that right. Everyone is warm to you, but its just show. We LOVE show in nigeria. That doesnt mean we arent genuinely nice. But until our women start to understand they have to bring up their boys with just as much severity as they bring up their girls, the situation will only get worse.
I love my country, but sometimes, the truth has to be said.

Oh thanks a lot for the info.
If its possible to get a company to write nysc and tell them they need me, then Im sooo going to work towards that, cos I cant get thrown to some remote place and waste a whole year of my life lol.
Thanks once again

lol.Thanks

Could someone tell me how to delete my profile?? Ive looked everywhere and it seems to me only an Admin. can do this. But how do I get in touch with one? Please help if you can. Would be very kind

dpat60:
a lot of pple are mad in Nigeria.

LOOLLL. Youre cracking me up I swear. Someone also said on page one that Nairaland has taught him there are more crazy people in and out of nigeria than he knew lol. I can only agree with you both.

sugabelle:
To watch a topic, but don't speak.
Because if you speak, you may just be unlucky enough to hold an unpopular opinion.
And it goes downhill from there: it either turns into an insult tournament, thereby the whole purpose of the topic is soon forgotten,
OR, you automatically change your opinion just to save the precious peace, and your precious dignity.
This is what I have learned from NL.

My sister, if only I were as wise as you lol, theyve so abused me in this place, but Ive refused. I will NOT be run into the ground lol )

ayobase:
I have been informed, misinformed and uninfomed here!

And they would have abused you if you had dared contest their information and sources.


NL has taught me that it doesnt matter where nigerians are or what we do, we have the apt and singular ability of turning wherever we are into a market place in which each man feels his ware (opinion) is the best and as a result must recieve all the attention. And if you dont agree, you will be abused!
NL has taught me that, sad as it is, there is no 'other side' of nigerians. What you see is what there is, finish. And if you dont agree, you will be abused!
NL has taught me that a good 50% of nigerians  are a very angry, loud, brash, crude, uncouth and abusive people and I suddenly start to understand why we havnt moved forward as a nation. We lack the basics, namely: respect for our neighbours.
It has taught me that people have gotten so abusive, they no longer even know how to communicate 'without abusing eachother anymore.
NL has taght me that nigeria is full of intelligent funny people who dont know what to do with the little they know. And so they abuse you for not agreeing with the little they know.
NL has taugh that for speaking my mind, I will, in a few minutes, be abused!

ohwofasa:
bros TRUE PASTORS r mouth piece of God,dey reprsent God here on earth,i ve bn dey b4 so i no wat u r talkin about but 2day I THANK GOD,if u mak dat mistake 2day,u will ve 2 leave with it 4 d rest of your life;think my broda

NO ONE represents God on earth. NO ONE.
Our heavenly Father is not some office manager that can be replaced or represented.
God is represented by His Laws. : the law of sowing and reaping, the law of gravity and the law of attraction of homogenious characters.
In every facet of life, you will experience these three laws. They always make full cycle.

@poster. What is your fear?? You should pray on your own and wait for an answer. We so called 'believers' think that if we believe in God nothign bad will happen to us. False. As a believer, you should know that EVEN when bad things happen, The grace of God is not far.

No one prays to marry and divorce, but who says life is a bed of roses. Some experiences come our way so we mature and make better choices in future, and if we are rubbed off these experiences in the first palce, we may never learn these lessons.

If you love someone, marry them. If tomorrow it turns out it was wrong, it would have been your decision and you would beable to see where you went wrong. But if you marry one selected for you by parent or pastor, you may have pretended-peace but you will be restless continuosly.

I feel your asking this question in the first place shows youre not ready to settle down, otherwise you'd listen to the voice inside you.

ikem1:
The consensus is not to tell if you are desirous of continuing to relationship.

LOOLL. Consensus? lol
Well there are always two sides to a coin. And as a great leader once said : There is nothing plain and simple about the truth.

As a woman, I'd like for my partner to be honest with me, not that I hear it from someone else like three years later. Id start to question all of his actions in the past and I'd ask myself if he was ever true to me. It'l completely rub me of my trust and confidence in him.
On the other hand, if I didnt know, Id be blissfully and foolishly happy in love lol and Id stay that way.

Basically, if he is 100% sure theres no way of her finding out, and he knows it was a one time thing, he shouldnt tell her, cos he'd just be trying to clear his bad conscience and behaviour at the price of her happiness. Brutal but true.
But if theres the possibility she'd find out, he'd better spit it out fast and pray that after she's dissed him for like three months, she takes him back.

So I understand if you school outside of Nigeria, you get to choose where you serve. Some people say its not true and on the official NYSC site, they say you dont get to choose. My friend just went back though and she's starting with this set (September I think). She says she was allowed to choose between Lagos and Abuja. So I guess sometimes they allow and sometimes they dont, cos another friend, he starts in February next year and they wont allow him choose, so he's being flung to some state in the north.

Anyhow, I'd like to know: After camp, or before camp, what happens? I remember there was a time when you went to look for a job and then a company of your choice employed you and you went back to register this company as your place of work with the NYSC (my brother had it this way like 8yrs ago I think or 10 yrs ago).

Could anyone tell me how it works. Hope they dont just throw you to teach in some remote village? Do they still do that? Cos its the reason Im dragging out on my BA until Im 30 years old so I dont have to do that NYSC thing. It sounds stressful and unecessary.

redsky1:
mrsb and poster, i'm not white but having lived in the UK my whole life and faced with the move to Nigeria to be with my husband very soon, i am so grateful for what you have written here.

The same thing you have mentioned is what i was crying on the phone to my sister recently during a visit when I was in Nigeria. as for the attitude - don't even sweat apologising - the women back home (young and old - cos my mum gets it as well) have some sort of complex they like to hide behind some sort of stupid attitude (and no I'm not going to apologise cos I'm talking thru experience).

One of the things for me is the taste of the foods we have here that they sell there, for example biscuits, chocolate and cake. i seriously see it as a way to ensure i don't put on weight cos everything tastes different, my husband - bless him, buys all the stuff for me but i think he is getting fed up of my throwing away all these snacks cos it tastes different.

I'm used to some of the poor infrastructure and behaviour of people back home, although i seriously have to drop my oyinbo time thing and start chilling out when people don't stick to time and use NT - Nigerian time. Luckily I have secured a job but will not be working for a few months b4 i settle and it will be very hard from going from a very independent woman to someone who has to depend on my husband for almost everything - including buying stuff in the market - once they hear my voice - prices suddenly increase - please I'm not saying this to show off as i have tried to learn broken and speak in a more naija accent but sometimes it can't be hidden the number of times i have had a price increase on my within seconds while in Nigeria is amazing.

I know its going to be hard but to know that there are many in this situation who understand how i feel sometimes makes it less of a pain, as for people saying Nigerian men are bad - abeg some of them are wonderful like mine. Men can be bad no matter where they are from.

Life's hard in Nigeria. I came back and tried to settle in but it didnt work, so I ran away and would try again in 18months lol.
I have a love-hate relationship with that place, cos everyone is looking for a way to cheat the other, no matter how rich or poor he is.
The poverty has eaten deep into our peoples brain work.
I didnt say Nigerian men are bad. I was pointing out their bad parts and concentrating on them cos my experiences were hard.
I know there are bad men everywhere, as well as bad women. But in this case, the issue was Nigerian men (my issue I mean).
As for getting used to the taste of buscuits and chocolate (and food) , I wont let it get to me, though its one of those tiny comforts that make life worth your while (you never notice until you dont have them), but after like 6months, your system gets used to being without.

german007:
Hmm rosabelle.

I think you have made a great point there.

There is a saying that "Woman wey reject you once, go forever reject you", maybe its true.

I think its indeed different for a guy. Il leak you into a man secret. "NOW I KNOW MANY GUYS WILL HATE ME FOR THIS", lol

95% of we men on seeing a lady, have a lust instinct for her. We cant wait to lay her in the bedroom Its more of a physical thing. Now what sometime's happens is that same chic you saw and had serious lust for, you realise after you laid her that she is indeed a nice sweet caring person, "different from wat u thought she was". You then start to see past the "big b))ty or big bre)))st that gave u the initial lust.

Thats how the love aspect comes into play.

Yep. A friend has told me same. He says for men, the physical attraction is the deciding factor thatt leads to love eventually. We are from different planets you know. Men and women lol

german007:
I think you can learn to love someone and also learn to "fall in love with the person".

Im saying this from personal experience.

If youre a guy sure, but for women, it doesnt apply.
Ive noticed a guy might not have feelings for a girl at first, but he can grow to fall in love with her.
A woman, if a woman doesnt 'fall in love' with you the day she meets you, she can only 'grow to love' you, but will never be in love with you.
From experience

I think you can learn to love someone. But you cant 'learn' to 'fall in love' with someone. And theres a difference.

Kobojunkie:
@must_a_far, aren't you out in the same Europe? lol

For your info KoboJUNKIE, Europe is a continent, not a country.
I know you ignorant folk tend not to understand this.
So must_a_far also in europe and therefore ? a wack comment

fegflu:
Guys Macdonald is not the issue for debate here.

the issue is walataa concept of tourism in calabar and donald duke definition.

my piont is that it shouldnt b referd 2 as tourism - but amusement park.

cus as far as i am concern. I regularly go on holiday with Thompson international and Virgin Travells. And i have never seen calabar in their books as a holiday destination.

walaata are u reading this.

LOOOLLLL

I dont even know how that happened anymore.
Sorry, so back to water parks Calabar,

Kobojunkie:
yeah right!!! would that also be the reason why there are no walmarts in the same countries? Core-muslim anti-israel states my foot. And Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, where the world knows people to prreach ant-isreal rhethoric, are not? I don't know what SPECIAL papers and news you watch but please COME BACK DOWN TO THE WORLD sometime. It will do your head a whole lot of good. better yet, step away from the computer sometime and go see the real world AS IS.

Thats why I urge you to read the papers and watch the news.
Anyhow, in lagos, they say not to be caught chasing a mad man cos no one would know the difference. Youre probably just one of the ignorant americans runnign to Israels aid when the point of the matter is completely different.
WAKE UP boy!

Kobojunkie:
Interesting!! And so Egypt, Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, Jordan, Algeria are not core muslim states? Roflmao!!!  Seriously, this post of yours already affirms my initial fears. You are just a wacko!!! Roflmao!!! A Fear-mongering wacko for that matter!! What next? If you eat McDonalds, you will be poisoned by the Israeli founder?? Roflmao!!

My point was never against Israel (now I know you MUST be an ignorant american). My point was WHY Dipilot didnt get the liscence for a franchise. Get your points straight and stop talkign trash as usual.
I didnt call them core muslim states, I called them core muslim anti-israel countries. Syria and Iran are the main hubs.
The whole world knows the 'antagonist groups' have base in Syria and Iran. Thats why I say to read the papers and watch the news.

must_a_far:
im not saying we would be able to afford it before they decide thats what they want. we would decide we want it because we want to oppress our neighbour who walks into Mr. Biggs, we want to show them that we are walking into and eating McD's not we can afford McD's.


rosabelle, my point is different from your point biko. all you are pointing to is danger this danger that. if you are talking about danger they wouldnt have an outlet in the middle east anywhere. they have a better chance of having their restaurants getting blown up in egypt than it getting burnt in lagos or abuja or warri.

Sorry about that. I agreed with your point anyhow. You dont have to agree with mine
And Im not trying to spread fear.
I just happen to talk with numerous people and though I love Nigeria and I know the press here in Europe and elsewhere blow everythign out of proportion, the reality is, people listen to the press easier here than in Nigeria and they believe our country is not safe.

@kobojunkie, you sound like a wacko  my friend.
If you watch the news, and read papers, you wont call me racist and you wont imagine what Im saying is paranoid.
People who talk like you must live in America, where the people there, cant differentiate between america and Israel.
WAKE UP boy.

You said : 'McDonalds is in Iraq, Iran, Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, Jordan '.

Thats a blatant lie and anyone can go to their website to see theyre not in Iran, Iraq, libya, tunisia and syria in the middle east. These countries are the core muslim 'anti-israel' countries. Nigerian fanatic muslim sects are know to work with terrorists in these five countries.
Wake up. Wake up.
Yes I sound paranoid, but Im not. Read the papers and stop talking trash at me!!

tpia.:
the only two Mcdonalds in Africa are in Egypt and South Africa.
even Subway has more African restaurants- Zambia, Tanzania, South Africa and Egypt.
McDonalds has no west African outlets yet because they're not yet ready to do business there. That's all.
and while it would be nice if Nigeria had a Mcdonalds, healthy eating is more important. Their burgers are packed full of calories, anyway.

McGym is what's needed, imo.

Thank you. They know what theyre doing, and they know what money they can do without!

must_a_far:
the more expensive something is the more nigerians are attracted to it. the only reason McDonalds wouldnt want to enteer the nigerian market is because the cost of producing a burger would be high and would cut deep into profits.

Thats my point.
Mc Donalds WONT come to nigeria becasue the stress and danger isnt worth their while. Franchise or not. They dont want it , period.

Depilot:
Also tried to bring McDonald's Corporation to Abuja few yrs ago, the attempt was unsuccessful. 1 of the main reasons was the fact that an average Nigerian wouldn't be able to afford the products. And this totally contradicts the concept of the corporation.

Without any doubt affordability should have been the second factor to be analyzed during the planning process of the project.
Maintenance is still the number 1 factor.

And I can assure you that the master planners will not be able to clearly answer most of these concerns of the citizens.

Thats what I was answering to sir. Nigerians will afford anythign you throw their ways. Dont let anyone hoodwink you.

Kobojunkie:
Now you are just rambling! When people think McDonalds, they do not think the original nationality of the founder. They think the country in which it was started. What you have above is as ridiculous as claiming Dunkin Donuts is Indian. Gosh! People !!!

Why can’t you read? McDonalds is a Franchise and a Franchise can be anywhere as long as the basic standards are met. The man said he tried to get a franchise license to run McDonalds in Nigeria but because of cost, he could not and you are here rambling about how your chosen delusion is the reason why he could not get it started here. Is Malaysia more worth their while then or do your delusions not apply there? Jeezzzz!!! Snap out of it!!!

My friend. Do you watch tv Do you know what people outside Nigeria think of NIgeria. When people think of mc donalds, they think of the country it started in which people,
He tried getting a franchise and couldnt because they didnt want to give it to him. Simple. It had NOTHING to do with any rubbish standards my friend. Lets have peace.
There is a deep rooted bias against nigeria outside and sometimes, its just not worth it for them,
The franchise still belongs to someone. And in this case, they are Israeli and they have reservations about nigeria because of the north of nigeria. Evryone knows this.
You dont have to agree with me. You can shut your eyes you know.