₦airaland Forum

peanutbutterr:
at afodot0022
let me give you one piece of advice, be actively, i mean very actively involve in your children lives.

once Dated a girl from a broken home, according to how her mum brainwashed her, shsaid “ her dad was so wicked to have left her and her mum less than a year after her birth.

This same man she speaks bad of financed her through university, nothing good comes out of her mouth when she speaks of her dad. luckily her mum remarried. stepdad has been trying to have a piece of her since teenage years but failed, yet she sees him as her fatherly figure.

op these would probably be your case if you don’t win the custody of you kids. have them spend christmas at your place, take them on expensive vacations, they should know their root, lastly don’t leave your children for another man to train.

To hell with the kids and the mum... karma will hunt them even after death. Who cares. People are so wicked. U can't hurt someone and give them rules to follow. To hell with all of them

pussyphilia:
You're right... infact, modern men need to start accepting infidelity by their wives instead of divorcing them on account of that. If not, we'll be having many broken homes which is not good for the society. What's them in having other men Bleep your wives It's even a great turn on for some men.

Shit ...... God who is this please? Worst of it all she may be a married woman.

EreluRoz:
If she confirms the kids are not yours then automatically you are not under any obligation to care for those kids, let her look for the father to assume duties.

Confirms? She said so and moved out of the house with soldiers. Should the man still be running after her to confirm or just let her be till she is ready to co perent by bringing proof that the kids are his? When she left she was sent some money for school supply but claimed it was money owed her while she was in the house keep in mind that she was the one who asked for money for the school supply but would end up using that money in addition to her own to change the child school

Afodot0022:
Good day nairalanders, top of the day to you all.

This topic is basically for the divorce men out there that are out of their marriage and living separately from their Ex wife and kids.

Attimes divorce can be a very devastating experience that the pains felt don't go easily especially if you are a responsible man that put in your best effort in the marriage to make things work but eventually went south.

It's even more heartbreaking if you caught your ex wife cheating and having extra marital affairs when you know as a man you don't deserve such betrayal, it could easily break you as a man.

Now my bone of contention is, divorce men out there, how do you deal with the fact that you are obligated to pay child support and care and also foot school fees and medical of the kids that came out of the union despite the family being broken.

How do you cope with this when the custody of the kids are with your ex wife and knowing she was the one that betrayed you in the marriage by cheating on you, will you be comfortable still sending her money for your kids upkeep and also paying their school despite the fact they don't live under your roof.

How do you men deal with this cos attimes, it can be so discouraging knowing fully well what led to the union breakup. Presently am separated from my ex wife on the count of infidelity, my two kids have been with her ever since and attimes anytime I think about the hurt and betrayal, I will want to end any sort of provision for the kids but because am a very responsible man that wants the best for my kids, it's difficult to just look away.

Attimes my thoughts could be like in as much the kids are staying with her, I am on the loosing side and my effort providing for the kids outside my jurisdiction might look like a wasted efforts being that the kids are with her 247 and she can easily still the glory by making the kids believe she is the one doing the provision.

Pls divorce and separated men, how do you go through this turmoil and ways to navigate through to be sure you are on the right track.

When u innocent as a man it's difficult to move on. Very difficult, it takes God. Women lie alot just to get divorced, God help innocent men please.

pocohantas:
1) No marriage is perfect. She cannot be like that forever. She would definitely get tired and retire with you. Even this your new babe, shebi she is talking to other men on phone and borderline stingy. Have you left her? The next woman might be worse, so where are you men running to?

2) The logical and unemotional thing to do is to take care of the kids. Last time I checked, men are logical and unemotional, so it shouldn't be hard separating your emotions from this whole situation.

3) You are not being stopped from cooparenting. If she leaves the kids with you, you would still be pained that she is living her life while you are nurturing the kids. None would be easy for you. Pick one side and run with it for the sake of the kids.

4) There are only two things involved, you give money or you don't give. Either way, the kids would be fine. In fact, she might even be waiting for you to default, so that she can have something to use against you.

If I were you, I would keep giving with evidence. I don't mind to create a folder for it on Google Drive. Call them when you can and have them come over. They would grow to know how they want to handle the triangle.

Manipulative lies lies lies lies. This is all sentiments. U av no idea of the real situation. We are human not machines. A woman cannot cheat and expect the man to be logical. U av no freaking idea

pocohantas:
When we tell you to fight for your marriages, you won't listen. A man that is not ready to endure has no business getting married. Go learn from your fathers how to endure. That is why marriages of old lasted.

Lies lies lies

EreluRoz:
Caring for your kids has nothing to do with your ex wife, it is your responsibility afterall those kids didn't ask you to bring them to the world by force. Couples should learn to leave the kids out of their mess and failure.

What if she told you the kids are not yours? What if u gave her money after she left and used the money fir something else. Would u still send her money? Just curious

okrikaboi:
What if the husband poisoned them?

Shhhh. Too much imagination is not reality

LittleBigDick:
Rest afônja

If only u know

Seun try wella. I went through this tread that would have gbas gbos and it was civil. Nigeria fit better last last oh. Though me self don give up. I pray sha

Be kind to people no matter what, people are suffering in silence. There is a reason I want to stupidly rich. Not for me but for the sake of helping people. With this money I will dig deep to find people who truly needs this help. God these are my sincere prayer. Only 30 percent of the wealth u give me will I use fir myself. The world is truly wicked

africandollar:
I wouldn’t pay any attention to the words of a coward who couldn’t even commit suicide properly! Las las na mouth you get, person wey wan jump enter lagoon no dey call him friends to come rescue am, e go just jump fiam and dem go hear the news later, that’s why I know you’re spineless and nothing more than an attention seeker.

Shhh.

Leave David out of this, I bet u, ur wife started it all. Shameless woman. Anyways, just spill the beans nd insult him and that's all. Don't stress yourself.

I like this, God bless all the good women out there.

Jeon:
Incoherent.

Okay sir

Jeon:
This ur narration no go be lik this if na woman dy for sick bed.

Men don't neglect htier wives on thier sick bed. That's not to say I does not happen but check the percentage to which that happens u will be amazed. Bro u need to check. Most men will be by thier side despite what do woman may have done but a woman will never overlook a man's fault to be by his side. My little cent though.

FireUpNow:
I am not supporting the woman but some men do not treat their wives well. What I told you is not a lie buddy.

Majority of the time it's the woman who is careless with thier husband and from the little information we have now, the woman us doing same. A man will provide all that he xan and everything he has yet he us still looked down on. From obvious online facts and life experiences only few men treat women badly but the man's own will be more public nd known trust me

FireUpNow:
Things dey happen. When I was in the hospital doctors and nurses always it is when a woman's husband is sick that's when you will know if the man was really taking care of the woman when he was okay. I wait to hear the other side of the story.

That's a lie, most women are careless with thier husband regardless. U don't need a reason to be good or bad. Trust me. We are judgemental and cold hearted in nigeria

Jeon:
Men don't give a fvck when their wives are very sick. Some can fuvk another woman during the late wife's funeral.

---

This maybe the second/the most loved wife he abandoned his first family for . They don't tolerate nonsense, unlike the first wife.

Why are we like this in this country. God help us all o. Imagine the insunations, sickening I swear. What if u are wrong. Let's look for the facts of the story bottom line help in the end. Nigerians are so cold hearted

ijustdey:
https://saharareporters.com/2024/01/05/wife-takes-sick-husband-nigerian-hospital-abandons-him-there-over-six-months-edo

How do I help please, let's verify the story and help, this is a call to all men in nigeria. I am crying as I type this.

alpharoyalty:
This guy is too childish I swear

Shhhhhh.. u av no idea. Everyone is not living on ur rules

Giftedhand47:
I have a chronic anger problem I've tried not to get angry and overlook things but this demonic spirit will just do his thing
Pls help me i really need tips from Nairaland family.don't know I may get help here . Thanks

Always walk away. U may be the type that's truthful and always want the truth to prevail, I sense even when u display this anger, u were right but anger makes us all look guilty, walk away at all cost. That's the only remedy, with time this spirit will also walk away. Trust me this is the solution, never wait around when u angry. Ask benin boys.

papyjaypaul:
Men should start setting standards by protecting women. Real men stand up for women who their brothas will wife, they protect them when they go rogue because they are sistas. Standard is NOT impregnating a girl you are not married to. It's not leaving kids as b@$$tards and orphans while you are alive. That's a deadbeat man who gat no standard

What if the woman use her mouth to say the kids are not for the man and leaves with the kids. It's the man still a deadbeat by staying low to first understand things.?

BabaHenry:
Don't judge that way....
I have a very close friend of mine that behave exactly as what the op is describing right there...
He is also an Arsenal fan, his wife and kids has complained several times about his irrational behavior anytime his team loses...
There was a time he took out his aggression on one of his friends, Sir, we had to gang up to beat the hell out of him that day and it took the intervention of his elderly family members before we could settle the case because we had to tell him to go his way because he can't move with us....
Things are happening

Well said and understood.. either way u guys be wan beat the guy b4. Nor b that day matter. Lol the guy should grow up. Football is deep o.. it's more powerful than music for some. But fir this lady. It's not the ball that wants to make her brake up. They are not even married. She is just talking her own. I perceive a person with a bad mouth. So when the guy came back he was angry about the match ok... the next thing like she said was to trow a padlock because arsenal lost. No something was said things happened nd the passionate fan who has no control now allowed himself to be belittled.

dkidd:
This is the best decision u can take on the matter.... Arsenal fan with anger issues omor na disaster dey wait fir corner jejelly

Ahh arsenal with anger issues. These guys are gentle men naaa. When did u start watching football?

jumokeadele:
Its a red flag my sister, he probably gambles even , you should check that too. Run as far as you can, if a man truly loves a woman , we are always ready to change and bend our rules , if he's not changing for you , then he doesn't love you well enough. Run o

Passionate fans to the extent she portrayed it hardly gambles. Only a few

FeliciaOja:
How can someone lock door refuse to talk or eat his food just because of a football match??
Even threaten to throw padlock at me for disturbing him because his team lost
I'm done!! Can't be dealing with a child that calls himself a man. Very childish attitude

Please go o. U want to chop where u did not sow. Time will take care of him. One tin u don't know. The guy loves Arsenal more than u. U cld not even make him love u more than his club. U d 1 with the problem. As far as I am concerned u exaggerated the situation.

placeofallure:
I am a staunch Arsenal fan. I've been following Arsenal since the time of Dennis Bergkamp, Ray Parlor, Jeremie Aladiere, Julio Baptista, Antonio Reyes, Kanu Nwakwo and the likes and by now, I've gotten used to Arsenal's inconsistency. How old is he? He should get a hold of himself and get a life outside of football. There will be good days and awful days like last night. Why should he take out his frustration on you? As a man, he should have a grasp over his emotions and treat you right. You're not responsible for his woes. Sit him down and tell him all these, if he's unflinchingly adamant, dump him! He cannot head a home! He's a disaster waiting to erupt.

Wrong, this girl is wrong for him simple. Stop that talk. We seem to come from same Era. She exaggerated the story. Please people should learn to read BTW the lines. She said bullshit. She never loved the guy nd the guy nor get bar like that if she wld b ordering an arsenal jearsy

FeliciaOja:
I meet him July this year, everything about him is cool. My only worry is his fanatical support for arsenal which I consider the worst club on earth.

He keeps disturbing me of how his club will win the league, but whenever they lose he becomes super depressed and aggressive.

We have talked about this many times and he has sworn to change.
But this night he came back very late and was making so much noise, shouting and yelling
Then I googled scores and saw that his club lost today

I can't take it anymore
He is not the first guy I have dated that loved football. His own is that when his club loss it affects him very bad.

I have even suggested he should stop supporting arsenal but he won't listen.
After this night rubbish he just displayed I'm thinking of calling it quits.

Am I overreacting??

He needs to leave you. You are not a good person period. No too much talk wow. Even u also need help 4 ur thought patterns please

Birdbyrde440:
Lol emeka ike need to be in rehab

Woman never paint u, just wait. Ur weakness will be used like billions on u. Drug addict on the street u mean. Guy Bleep that line. Ike was frustrated.

This Ike picking na mumu o. Abeg nor vex but my opinion. See as u resemble ur papa finish. U never see pain from a woman. Ur brain had been washed. Believe me, ur father was never perfect. One thing is sure the woman is as restless as ur ur dad. Ur dad only needed a cool soul and he thought he found one in her. Verdict. Ur mum oversabi spoil everything. Go nd rest boy, if u can't positively impact, stay low

ZIMDRILL:
its a very complex issue, first of all
we need to know the dynamics in her marriage, remember a men can be the head of the house, but might be a poor person in creating a future for the kids

Shhh. Too much sense is nonsense